Dec
21st
2020
Short Hand: Dash's Worst Nightmare · 3:53pm Dec 21st, 2020
Shepherd: "Okay Dash, it's okay, it's okay, I'm right here, I'm right here..."
He was cuddling and massaging the deeply traumatized mare.
Dash: "Th-That... That was... H-Horrifying...!"
Shepherd: "It's okay! It's okay, it'll never happen."
Dash: "You-You mean it?"
Shepherd: "Yes! I mean it! Whatever you saw in that vision, I will make sure it never happens! I promise!"
Dash: "You... You promise?"
Shepherd: "One hundred percent!"
Dash: "... Hmmm..."
Five minutes later... Shepherd has been tied up and dragged in front of a minister, while Dash is in a wedding dress.
Shepherd: "THIS ISN'T WHAT I HAD IN MIND!"
Dash: "YOU PROMISED!"
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Andrew Joshua Talon · 808 views
· Story: Short Hand
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#short hand
#rainbow dash
#nightmare
#promise
Comics like that always make me super depressed. Hate seeing someone so unhappy, all dreams and hope crushed. Painful to see, really.
Alternatively you could just murder Zephyr. I'm sure Fluttershy would help.
Given the number of foals, either Dash is just having a bad day, or I don't know why Zephyr hasn't been murdered already.
5419312
Ah, they're not his.
Shepherd: "AND WHY AM I IN A DRESS?!?"
Dash: "IT'S THE ONLY THING RARITY HAD THAT WOULD FIT YOU!! STOP YELLING AT ME!!!"
Hello, I am Hot Take with WTIA Channel 7 out of Ponyville. Today the constables responded to a brawl at the Temple of Sol. According to Chief Constable Iron Bracelet, the fight broke out between the Element bearers, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkamina Dianne Pie, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle after one of them tried to marry the local hoomuhn Shepard. Our local camera team arrived on the scene of the brawl minutes after the constables arrived.
*feed switches to a prerecorded segment*
*the mane 6 being drug out of the temple by a large group of constables*
Applejack [bleep] you Rainbow [bleep] Dash, you [bleep] whorse!
Rainbow Dash: Say that to my [bleep] face you [bleep] dirt pony!
*Applejack tries to bum rush Rainbow Dash only to get dog piled by constables*
Rarity: Unhoof you [bleep] ruffians! I am a refined [bleep] lady and I shan't be stallion handled by a bunch of [bleep] pigs!
Pinkie Pie; Oooooo! Lookie! I can beat the censors. I'll be better than all you [fucking] worthless whorses! I'll suck Shepard's [dick] every day and let him [fuck] me in the [ass] whenever he feels like it.
Twilight Sparkle: Let me go! I was only defending myself! I didn't throw the first punch! Do you know who I am?!
*as the constables drag Fluttershy out of the temple, a stampede of fuzzy woodland critters obscures the cameras, a few minutes later confused guards are looking where the butter yellow pegasus was standing*
*feed cuts back to Hot Take*
There is currently a ponyhunt for Fluttershy. If you or anypony you know sees her, do not approach and instead contact local law enforcement.
And now onto our local weather forecast with Buff Biceps filling for Cloud Kicker.
*camera pans over to buff biceps*
It's gonna rain!
Not going to lie that was funny as hell
Guess that is one way to avoid it.
The better way is with a hammer, couple shovels, some trash bags, and a few bribes to Pinkie to avoid your "Congratulations on your first murder" party. You still get the "Do you want to hide a body?" song though.
Shepherd: "WHAT THE HELL DID THAT DOOR SHOW YOU?!?"
Dash: "I SAW MYSELF MARRIED TO ZEPHYR!"
Shepherd: "Oh... Sweet lord Dash that's horrifying. Why didn't you just say so?"
Dash: "It's too terrible to talk about. I see it every time I close my eyes."
Shepherd: "Don't worry Dash. I'll make it go away."
Dash: "So you'll marry me?
Shepherd: "Oh heavens no, I have a far FAR better solution!"
10 minutes later at Fluttershy's house...
Shepherd: "Fluttershy I have to kill your brother. Dash has PTSD from being shown a life where she was marired to him."
Fluttershy: "I'll let you do that on two conditions."
Shepherd: "Really? What conditions?"
Fluttershy: "You have to do it slowly and I get to watch."