Short Hands: Shepherd Tries to Help · 2:57pm Aug 5th, 2020
Shepherd tries to Help Twilight Sparkle
After Twilight Sparkle ascended to Alicorn, and became a Princess, her relationship with Shepherd didn't change too much. He was already a knight assigned as the guard for the Elements of Harmony after all. He did have a lot more duties involving her though. Unfortunately they usually involved paperwork.
Shepherd: sighs "All right... All right... And there. There we go. Your spell notes on Starswirl the Bearded's journal are copied and archived, and your exhaustive article on the nature of friendship for the Equestrian Post has been mailed."
Twilight: "Oh thank you Shepherd! That's wonderful work!"
She takes the articles and looks through them... And then slowly looks up at Shepherd.
Twilight: "Shepherd... This is my article! Where did my notes on Starswirl the Bearded-"
Shepherd: "Oh. Oh! Crap, I must have mailed those by mistake! I'm sorry!"
Twilight: "YOU WHAT?!" Her eyes went wide as she held her cheeks "YOU SENT THEM TO THE LARGEST NEWSPAPER IN EQUESTRIA?!"
Shepherd eventually gets Twilight calmed down enough with ear scritches and belly rubs and a handy paper bag to breathe into.
Shepherd: "There, there you go, calm down... Now. What is the problem?"
Twilight: "What's the problem?! I included a new variant of Starswirl's last spell in my notes! It's designed to let any pony with the potential to become an alicorn to ascend to it if they read it out loud! THAT SPELL IS NOW ALL OVER EQUESTRIA!"
Shepherd: "Woah, woah! Okay, first of all? You said it yourself: Only ponies with the potential to ascend to alicorn would even ascend, right? So for most ponies, what would it do?"
Twilight: "Well, I suppose nothing. Not until they did something incredible with their magic or their cutie mark."
Shepherd: "See? You're getting worked up over nothing."
Knock knock knock
Shepherd: "... I'm sure that's just the mail mare."
It was.
Ditzy: "Hi Princess Twilight! I woke up with a horn today! Do you know anything about it?"
And she wasn't alone... Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Vinyl Scratch, Big Macintosh, Octavia, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Cakes, and many, MANY other ponies showed up... All alicorns.
Twilight: "... I may have an inkling. Shepherd, we really need to talk about this-SHEPHERD!"
Shepherd was trying to sneak away with a cardboard horn and wings
Shepherd: "... LOOK! A BIG DISTRACTING THING!" He runs for it.
Dash: "Does he really think that would work on us-?"
Pinkie: "OOH?! WHERE?! I CAN'T SEE IT!"
Dash: sigh "Nevermind. GET HIM!"
Shepherd: flees for his life "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
The good news is that it was really easy to thwart most future threats to Equestria. The bad news is that Cozy Glow burned down half of Fillydelphia.
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For all that her canonical self cheated, that cheating technically does mean she has the potential.
Newspapers in the future:
"HUMAN RELEASES KEY TO IMMORTALITY! SHEPHERD HAILED AS HERO FOR ALL TIME!"
Followed by...
"PRINCESS TWILIGHT OBJECTED TO IMMORTALITY FOR ALL? WERE THE PRINCESSES HOARDING IT FOR THEMSELVES?"
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Lmao
Cue Yakety Sax...the song, not the god awful season 8 episode.
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Complete with video of Equestria five minutes later:
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Well, the song certainly made that movie better. 2012, right?