Preview chapter · 5:37pm Jul 30th, 2020
July has been a horrible month for writing. Far too much interference from real life.
But I have done some writing, and to prove it, there's a special sneak peak for the unfinished next chapter after the page break. 
“This has to be some sort of mistake.” Chrysalis flipped the golden ticket over several times, checking each side. “Maybe that mind melting magic I crammed into that Bean’s empty skull finally hit Sunbutt. Or there’s some other Queen Chrysalis living in Canterlot that this was supposed to go to.”
The deep scowl on Pokey’s face indicated he had also tried and failed to find some other sane explanation, and his growled words only confirmed it. “No, it was meant for you. I checked with Trixie first, then double-checked with Wysteria in case it was some sort of sick joke. It’s not. That’s a real ticket. For you.”
“So, you’re saying that Sunbutt wants me to attend the Grand Galloping Gala?” Chrysalis said. “Me, the one who impersonated her niece, brainwashed her nephew-in-law, besieged and attacked her city, bested her in singular combat, stole her husband, artfully redecorated her palace, and wrecked her summit?”
“You don’t have to sound so proud about it,” Pokey huffed.
“And why are you so grouchy?” Chrysalis slid the ticket back into the gilded envelope that it had come in, then moved over to her sour guard. “You taste like a pickled egg.”
“Because this means I have to go with you and be your foalsitter,” he stated flatly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Unless you were planning on inviting somepony else to go with you.”
“Hmm...” Chrysalis stuck her nose in the air and smirked. “The invitation says I can bring anypony I want to, and I’m sure Mandible would be honored to accompany his Queen to the most prestigious event in Canterlot. Or maybe I could ask Bob to be my escort. I’m sure he would love to meet Princess Celestia again.”
Pokey raised one eyebrow, which was something that he’d been practicing lately. “Bob? I hope he brings a dustpan and an urn.”
“That would liven up the evening, now wouldn’t it?” Chrysalis purred. “If I’m feeling especially nice, I could invite Hazelnut. She’s been much kinder to me than anypony else in this whole wretched city.”
“Hazel hates formal events,” Pokey said with a thin grin. “She’d much rather stay at home with Mister Barky Von Schnauzer.”
“And how do you know this, exactly?”
“Oh, she’s told me exactly how she feels about such things, in no uncertain terms and for hours on end. You know as well as I do that Hazel will gladly share her opinion on any topic imaginable, wether you want her to or not.”
Chrysalis paused in thought. “Okay, so I won’t invite her. But I could still haul one of my drones to the Gala. If I could sneak in two or three others, we could collect quite the cache of emotions for the hive.”
“You know, you really shouldn’t verbalize your nefarious schemes while I’m within earshot,” Pokey noted. “But I’ll be sure to inform Captain Armor of your intentions. I’m sure he’d love to hear all about it.”
“Fine, no drones,” Chrysalis huffed. “They’d just be underhoof anyway, and I don’t want them telling the whole hive about my—” her colorful wings gave an involuntary flutter “—totally minor and inconsequential chromatic issue. I guess I’ll just have to invite you, my delicious Pokey.”
“Lucky me.”
Chrysalis grinned in delight. “You know this means I will need to find something to wear, of course. There was a nice gown at a boutique I saw the other day; I wonder if it’s still there. You’d like it, my sweet babboo. It’s supposed to make you look just like a princess, so just imagine how lucious it would make me.”
“Well, it could hardly make you any worse,” Pokey said, but then he grinned. “Unless, of course, it somehow clashes with your chitin. We could use the resulting mess of color as a camouflage in the guard.”
“You’re a real riot, you know that?” Chrysalis snorted. “Just you wait, Pokey. I’ll show you.”
Just picturing Al Bundy and Peg when these guys are around.
Hm. I wonder what the Equestrian law is on common-law marriages. Most states, it's cohabitation under the same roof and acting as a married couple for X amount of time. Wouldn't that be a kick in the head.
This can only end in a disaster.
I know that feel. My muse has been horribly lazy for the past month or so...
5325680
"Let me see." Luna produced her trusty abacus with a casual flash of magic, and her hoof flicked the beads up and down in a rhythmic but seemingly random series of tic tic tics. "You moved in with Sergeant Pokey shortly after the wedding between Mung and Chowder. That would be four... carry the two... times twelve... and accounting for your time together when you were masquerading as Bluebelle, that would mean..."
Luna paused, then grinned as she turned the abacus to Chrysalis to show her final calculation. "By Equestrian law, you two entered into a common-law marriage about six weeks ago."
Pokey's left eye twitched. "What."
"Give or take a day or two," Luna helpfully added.
"Does this mean I get his life insurance if he just so happens to keel over from a heart attack right now?" Chrysalis asked.
5325702
Eye on the prize, there.
5325702 followed promptly by, “I’m pregnant.”
“Irk!” Went Pokey, but there was no thud.
“Darn,” said Chrysalis. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
5325708
Followed promptly by:
Bob: “Uh… your highness. I really hate to be the bearer of bad news…”
Chrysalis: “This has better be important. I’m tormenting my Pokey Pie.”
Bob: “umm… we got the test results back… and determined why you haven’t been able lay a clutch in 3 months… you actually are pregnant…”
5326184
"Urk!" went Chrysalis.
"Urk!" went Pokey.
Then there were two thuds, leaving Bob to slowly ease his way out of the room and close the door.
I hope your IRL stuff gets sorted out. Thanks for the preview!
5326187
Luna stares blankly at the two would be corpses.
Luna: “First my niece. Then my sister. And now our sworn enemy. If Twilight ends up with foal, then I shall simply have to join the club.”
5326698 Just because I tend to have alicorns turn up pregnant in my stories, doesn't mean I'm rubbing off on Irrespective.... Um... Maybe it does. (I counted. The total number of 'Luna is pregnant' in my stories is two. Three if you count the twins. Four if you count the one where she *wants* to get pregnant. Yeah, maybe I am rubbing off on him.)