Y'all Deserve This... · 3:01pm Aug 7th, 2019
After some thought, I feel that everyone deserves an explanation behind last week's abrupt and shocking announcement of Love-Making As A Parent being my "final story".
As some of my older followers know, I deal with clinical depression constantly. Occasionally, as most people with depression, I enter into these phases which I've dubbed "dark spirals". These "spirals" are the low points in my depression. Well, last Thursday, I got hit with a large one.
I woke up Thursday morning with the mindset that I wasn't staying in this world much longer. I knew LMAAP was completed and ready for publish, so I figured I'd publish it and declare my "retirement".
Friday was worse. Neither my wife, nor my kids could get me out of bed. I planned on doing the deed (not the good kind) Friday night after everyone went to bed. Problem was, while I was wallowing in self-pity, my wife was busy hiding the knives and box cutters.
So, after talking with a couple friends from here, my wife, and listening to one of my YouTube playlist repeatedly, Saturday began my slow climb from that dark hole. My negative thoughts and feelings had entered into my creative process. In doing so, my mind put together my darkest picture to date...Sunset Shimmer's suicide scene from Dark Sunset, Spirit Of Love: Dark Sunset II, and Muted Wubs.
I'm still in the uphill battle back to my normal self, but rest assured, my mind is on the mend.
So as an official announcement: I am not retiring. I'm not leaving. SciTwi Shimmer is still going to carry on.
And regarding the picture I'm drawing, it'll be posted on my DeviantArt and on derpibooru in the next day or so. I will leave a link to both in a later blog so that y'all can see it.
-pabrony83
I'm glad you're feeling better and let us know if there's anything we can do to help. You deserve it after all the fun stories you've written for us.
I'm happy for you. Keep that strength!
Oh yay! Can’t wait! Welcome back!
<3
Good to know you're doing better.
If I may ask, was it triggered by something specific, or was it spontaneous? I'm asking this because... it so happened that I had a 'privilege' to cut my own father from the rope about twenty years ago, and you mention wife and kids, so it's kind of familiar territory.
Look, I don't want to sound like a dick, especially since I'm fighting those thoughts myself, but... since I went through the aftermath and know how messed up it can be for wife and kids, I would just like to tell you that the next time you have the urge - talk with them.
Yes, I know it's cliche advice, but believe me, it's better for them to cry over father having suicidal toughs, then over a father who's dangling from a noose (or wherever you planned to do).
Been there, done that, got the scars
- I hope you'll get better.
5101725
Honestly, I have no clue what triggers it.
I know the feeling. FiM was what brought me back up. I'm still struggling, but things have gotten way better. I have found that talking to some one about it helps. It could be your wife, the hotline, a friend, some random person you see on the street. I hope things get better for you.