Immediate Aftermath (One Extraordinary Time, Chapter 8) · 8:22pm Jun 19th, 2019
I still feel dirty after yesterday's chapter.
Previously:
The thing everyone expected and no one wanted.
And now:
If you're still reading these—and I really don't blame you if you aren't, though I suppose you wouldn't see this anyway if that were the case—I salute your morbid curiosity and/or angry determination.
I'll also warn you—if yesterday's chapter was upsetting to you (as it should be), then this one is going to be more of the same. Potentially worse.
Wednesday, September 12
Freddy couldn’t sleep. He heard the sirens going down 2nd Avenue all night. He looked at his digital clock, which read 5:58 am; he wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep, so he decided to get up.
He also couldn't sleep. Did you get that he couldn't fall asleep? I think it's important that we continue to mention how hard it was for Freddy to fall asleep.
Freddy calls up his dad.
"...Your mom is going to be upset, Columbia University called. The dean of their history department was at the Trade Center yesterday and is now missing. I’ll wait till she’s back from Washington to tell her. Hopefully he’ll turn up before then. It’s hard to believe he was just at our barbecue last week.”
Freddy sadly asked, “I’m sure I met him. What was his name?”
“Thorton. He’s a distinguished, tall man, about six foot four with a gray mustache. He was wearing what I would call a Scottish golf hat.”
I went back and checked. This character was never mentioned, nor was anyone matching their description.
Freddy couldn’t believe it. Imagine, they were able to cause all this mayhem just with box cutters. Unbelievable! These terrorists who never met Thorton and didn’t know a thing about him may have killed him. They rejoiced in killing people like Thorton, a wise, old gentleman. This was beyond senseless; just sheer madness.
I brought up the gall of introducing a character in the beginning of the last chapter just so they could die in an attempt to give the audience a personal emotional stake in 9/11. Now Mr. Kaplan is trying to do the same thing retroactively, which is honestly just kind of sickening.
We swap POVs with Monica. I have to say, I'm actually glad she and her family are continuing characters. I was worried they had been introduced solely for their role in the last chapter.
Unfortunately, this also leaves a certain other possibility open for the future, and... I really hope the story isn't going that way.
At 8:00 a.m. Monica took a bus home from the hospital. Her mom was admitted for observation. The doctor said if she stabilized she could be discharged that afternoon. Monica turned the key to the apartment and saw the stillness; she felt a pit in her stomach and slumped to the floor. Papa never made it home. Monica feared the worst and was nervous worrying over how her mother would handle it. Her poor mom had been through the mill over the last five years.
We get the low-down on her mother's illness. By 'low-down', I mean personal medical history for the last five or six years. This goes on for two pages, and can be summed up neatly with the words 'breast cancer, still kicking, but only barely.'
Mr. Kaplan, however, decides to summarize it in an almost sickeningly comedic manner:
Natascia responded by beating the odds, and now, five years later, she was still alive.
Unfortunately so was the cancer, still battering her body!
Textbook example of the way punctuation can effect the interpretation of a sentence.
Back to Freddy, watching CNN. Dr. Berry calls him and asks how he's doing. Freddy appears to be fine.
As he watched CNN, Mayor Giuliani was getting high marks for his handling of the attacks. Freddy found this amusing. The press and especially the tabloids had been having a field day with him the last couple of years. They said he was politically dead and were happy to write his eulogy. Now, in the same press, he was being praised as an unsung hero. The positive acclaims just kept coming from the reporters and the pundits. Freddy learned from his dad, who had to deal with the press, never to trust them. You can be a champion to them, then, in a moment, they’ll turn on you in a dime.
Accurate, but the same could be said of public opinion in general, and is this really the best time to be talking about this, Mr. Kaplan?
Freddy goes jogging. Because of course he does. Police are out with dogs and automatic weapons. F15s fly overhead.
At 1:30, Harris called Freddy and sounded very shook up. He said to Freddy, “It’s awful. We had an emergency meeting at our Midtown office. It was sheer carnage, we probably lost about two hundred people yesterday. The only company to have more people killed was Cantor Fitzgerald, unbelievably they lost over six hundred.”
Freddy thought of the many people he’d met briefly at Harris’s company; many of whom were now dead. “I am horrified to hear that. I wish I had some way to change it.”
And suddenly the purpose of Freddy's office tour earlier becomes clear. The one that Mr. Kaplan basically skimmed over.
Harris asks Freddy if they can meet up. Freddy agrees.
When Freddy saw his friend, he noticed Harris’s eyes looked all washed out. They took a table at the back of a largely empty restaurant. Harris began to talk, trying to hold back tears. “Yesterday we lost our CEO, CFO, two hundred people out of 425 employees. Our company’s headquarters was at the World Trade Center. When we saw people jumping, some of those were ours. The company offered counseling to everyone and they understood if we needed time away from work. We also began a collection for the families that lost loved ones yesterday. You know, life’s not fair. This woman, Brenda, was part of our support staff. She had a troubled upbringing. When she was young, she was a runaway and did drugs. Well, she turned things around in her life. Just last year she got her master’s at Columbia University. She was great to work with and yesterday she was murdered. She leaves behind three little cute kids. I saw them at our Christmas party last year. Now they have no one.”
People don't talk like this. People don't feel like this. Stop using your characters as exposition firehoses, and stop trying to use your exposition firehoses to make the audience feel bad. That's not how exposition works. That's not how any of this works.
Freddy asked, “What about her husband?”
“He went A.W.O.L. on her and the kids years ago”.
“What are their ages?”
“I think her oldest is about eight, and the other two are very close in age, about six and five.”
FEEL. SAD.
And then, finally, Freddy comes to a realization.
Freddy thought to himself, and let out a deep breath. I have $840 million in the bank.
Maybe now it’s time to put it to good use.
Freddy does some quick calculations about how much it would take to raise three kids to college age. He donates $500,000. Harris, as you'd expect, thinks he's joking. So now we get to hear Freddy summarize the plot of the book up until this point.
Freddy looked back at Harris and said, “Okay, I’ve got quite a story to tell you. This is going to sound unbelievable, but it’s true. About three weeks ago I went to my bank. After I took money out, the teller gave me a receipt. It should have shown a balance of $840. Instead it read $840 million.”
“Did you say $840 million? What, how did that happen?” Harris asked, completely stunned.
“I’m not sure. I didn’t think it was real at first. It was on a Saturday; I figured by Monday the bank would correct their error. They didn’t! On Monday the money was still in my account. That same morning, I saw Harry getting hit by a car. That, by the way, is how we meet. I rushed him to Mount Sinai Hospital in a cab. He had no insurance and I was worried he might bleed to death. So I paid his hospital bills,” Freddy said.
The entire plot of the last seven chapters can be summed up even by the author in two exposition-laden paragraphs. It's almost laughable.
Almost.
Harris looked into Freddy’s eyes and said, “You know, if the bank finds out you will have to pay back the money.”
“I know it. I’ll have to cross that bridge if I come to it. You work for financial institutions; how often do you think these things happen?” Freddy asked.
Harris thought for a moment. “For that large of an amount not too often, but it has happened. One of the oldest banks in England, Baring Merchant Bank, was defrauded out of 1.3 billion, by one rogue trader, Nicholas Leeson. It took the bank over a year to figure it out. BCCI defrauded US banks out of billions of dollars over a ten-year period. I’m sure there have been bank errors and fraud that have never been uncovered.”
Nick Leeson—real person. Pretty much singlehandedly brought down Barings, which was one of the UK's oldest banks, in 1995. Nowadays he's somewhat of a celebrity, having published two books, managed Galway United Football Club for a while, done several rounds on lecture and keynote circuits, and placed fourth in Celebrity Big Brother in 2018.
Funny how that happens.
BCCI, or the Bank of Credit and Commerce International, was an international bank founded in the early 70s. It was the seventh largest private bank in the world at one time, holding net assets worth over 20 billion U.S. dollars. It was also a massive fraud and money laundering scheme. One of its major clients, coincidentally, was Saddam Hussein.
Funny how that happens.
It's here that Freddy launches his scheme. He's going to anonymously give money to every employee in Harris' company who needs it. With Harris' help, of course.
“I know. I know I can trust you. Okay, so I’m going to get a money order for $500,000 made out to Brenda,” Freddy said.
Harris said, “Generally if it’s over $5,000 most banks will make you get a bank check.”
“That’s fine. If Great New York Bank hands me this large bank check without a problem, we’re probably home free. Then I will be able to get bank checks for all the people who need the money at your company,” Freddy said.
Harris then jokingly said, “Say, with all that money you have now, you sure you wouldn’t want to open up an IRA instead?” They shared a much-needed laugh.
By the way (and I can't believe I only just now decided to look this up), Great New York Bank is an invention of Mr. Kaplan. However, this was likely changed after the fact, because I swear at least once in this story Freddy's said that he banks with Chase. I wonder if Mr. Kaplan was afraid of a lawsuit.
Freddy went to Great NY Bank to get a money order for Brenda.
You stated his intention to do this in the last scene, Mr. Kaplan. Literally higher up on the same page. You don't have to explain what he's doing to us. We already know.
Freddy hands the teller—he goes to the teller for this—a request for $500,000. He, as you'd expect, balks at this and fetches his supervisor. You remember Mr. Anderson, don't you?
About ten minutes later the teller came back with a smiling Mr. Anderson, who said, “Mr. Will, it’s a pleasure to see you. I have instructed Richard to process your bank check. I told him when it comes to your account he won’t need my or any other manager’s approval. I consider it an absolute joy to serve your banking needs and I want to make sure the process goes as efficiently as possible.” Freddy thought to himself, Thank G-d.
Freddy gets his bank check, and we also learn that the teller's name is Richard Wilford. Freddy leaves the bank and drops the check in the mail with a fake return address. The story never mentions him buying or using an envelope for this, nor him ever actually learning her address, so I can only assume he just dropped a naked $500,000 dollar check into a post box with the hopes that a mail worker will sort it out.
Freddy goes home. Doug and The Babe are there. They talk about flight 93, the plane that crashed in Philadelphia. It's as stiff as it always is.
Back to Monica. She and her mother go home. Mr. Kaplan uses the phrase "The silence was deafening", which I used to like quite a bit and will now probably never use again.
Back to Freddy, the next morning. Freddy goes jogging. He visits Harris again. Harris was able to pull some strings in the HR department; he gives Freddy a printout of every employee now presumed dead. They go over the list together and pick out those who need the most help.
Freddy was partially saddened when he learned about the single moms who were killed on Tuesday. There were nine in all.
This is a strange detail to directly mention and I don't know what to make of it.
When they finished, both agreed that a 129 people would need his help, including all the single moms. He then sighed and said, “I’m going to be busy. I will probably send about a half million to each surviving family. Look at this, Rhoda Lizziti has five kids under ten. I hope they have grandparents who are alive and can care for them. I’m going to send her family $1 million. Harris, if you see any stories on the news or in the papers of someone who lost a loved one at the World Trade Center, on a plane or at the Pentagon, let me know so I can help them. Those passengers on the four hi-jacked planes really suffered it had to be sheer terror for them. Harris, we have a lot of work to do,” Freddy said.
“Thank you buddy for helping us,” Harris responded.
128 families times $500,000, plus $1,000,000 for Rhonda, plus another $500,000 for Brenda comes out to a total of $65,500,000. I'm going to try and keep track of this number as best I can.
Freddy goes to work.
After serving the Luntzes there were no more customers. By 9:00 p.m. the whole staff just sat around a big table. Life was sucked out of the city. The city that never sleeps was suddenly in a state of shock. They all discussed the turmoil of last three days. Mr. Wong’s daughters all cried. Julie rested her head on Freddy’s shoulder with tears dripping down her face. They listened to the news as they confirmed numbers of people killed kept rising. With almost 5,000 New Yorkers unaccounted for, they all feared the worst. Freddy left, making only $10 for his efforts.
God forbid.
Back to Monica.
Monica was worried sick over her mom, who was tossing and turning in bed. She was in so much pain despite her medication. As each hour passed, their hope for Papa being found alive grew slimmer and slimmer. Monica worried that by the end of the month her mom would have no health coverage. As a new lawyer, she only had a small amount of savings, and her parents had saved even less. Papa spent all of their savings making sure Monica was able to go to law school. Now she feared her mom wouldn’t be able to afford any more cancer treatments.
Thank you for another heartless expositional paragraph that tells us things you already told us in the last two heartless expositional paragraphs, Mr. Kaplan. It really makes me feel for these characters.
Next day. Freddy calls up Richard at the bank and asks him to write out 129 bank checks. Apparently now the bank also provides envelopes.
Freddy took the stack of envelopes as casually as if he were handed a Big Mac.
This is the most American simile I have ever seen in my entire life.
Back to Monica. There's a knock on her door. It's a police officer. We also finally get to learn her family's last name.
Monica looked through the peephole and saw him holding up his badge, and opened up the door. Sergeant Rodriguez, standing next to another officer, said, “Good evening. Is Mrs. Nastascia Spadolini here?”
I'll admit, I googled "Spadolini" to see if it was a real name. It is. My apologies to any Italians reading this.
Prepare for the stiffest, least heart-wrenching mourning scene ever written.
“We found your father, Antonio Spadolini, trapped under the debris at the World Trade Center. I’m so sorry to inform you that we didn’t find him in time. I wish we could have. We have his personal belongings.” He then handed her a 9-x12 envelope. “We would appreciate it if, as soon as you can, you come with us down to the morgue to make a positive ID.”
Monica tried keeping her composure and found it impossible. Tears starting dripping down her face. “I have been worried since he didn’t come home on Tuesday, but I still had hope. Now to hear he’s dead, I don’t know how I am going to tell my mom. Officers, can you please wait outside so I can have a few minutes alone with her?”
“Of course. Take all the time you need,” Sergeant Rodriguez said.
She lay down in her mom’s bed, waking her up. She held her mom and said, “Papa’s not coming back. He’s in heaven with the angels, Mama. Natascia was unable to speak; her eyes filled and tears came streaming down her face.
Human emotions are difficult for Mr. Kaplan.
Next day. Actually, it's the same day. Mr Kaplan has used "Friday, September 14" twice.
For a minute, I thought the prose was repeating, too, but it turns out Freddy's just bleeding from his leg again. He goes for a jog.
He runs into Harry, who's going to be taking a firefighter friend of his down to Ground Zero. Freddy decides to join them and volunteer down at Ground Zero.
The praise for the New York Fire Department in this section is still stiff and expositional, but actually manages to be slightly touching in places.
“I’m sure I will be depressed when this is over. Right now my adrenaline is running high.” He paused for a second and shook his head. “Can you imagine, we lost more people in one day than in the entire 140 years or so that the fire department has been in existence,” Jimmy said.
“That’s unbelievable! Freddy and I were down there on Tuesday. We saw you guys in action. Too many gave their lives to help save people. Brother, you guys are heroes. Everybody I’ve been talking to in my cab feels the same way. Man, New Yorkers have never been more proud of you guys,” Harry said.
“Thanks. Believe me; it helps make the misery a little more bearable knowing the public is behind us.”
Good on you, Mr. Kaplan.
Also, we get this bit from Freddy:
Believe me, I will to make it my life’s work to do whatever I can to help the greatest fire department in the country.”
Poor, poor Mr. Mrproofreader. I wonder if anyone knows this man's identity. I'd like to buy him a drink some day.
Then, President Bush shows up.
All of a sudden Freddy noticed some Army men clearing a path. Then, walking right passed him, the president of the United States. Everybody stopped working. Thunderous chats erupted of, “USA! USA! USA!” as the president stepped up on a pile of rubble no more than fifty feet from Freddy and Harry. Tiny American flags began appearing everywhere. President Bush began to speak.
A few people shouted, “We can’t hear you!”
The president put his arm around a fireman and said, “I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked down these buildings will hear all of us soon.”
He shakes Freddy and Harry's hands.
Both of them stayed till 3:00. They were humbled by the immense carnage and wreckage at ground zero.
Unfortunately there was nobody rescued while they were there.
They were emotionally drained from the day.
I feel this excerpt perfectly encapsulates Mr. Kaplan's inadequacies as a writer, and why he shouldn't have been allowed to tackle this particular subject matter.
There's an argument to be made about that. I'll make it later.
We switch to Julia, still stuck in Washington. She's working at Senator Clinton's office. Apparently part of her job description has her reviewing the Patriot Act, here called the Patriot Bill. I don't know why, it was never a bill. It also didn't make its way to the Senate until late October. As far as I can tell, it wouldn't even have been fully drafted by this point in time, if it had been started at all.
Back to Freddy, who has gone to China Wok. Mr. Wong has set up a big lunch for the Luntzes and the staff. Mr. Luntz talks about Pearl Harbour. Freddy makes $60. I don't know why Mr. Kaplan thought it was neccessary to keep mentioning this.
Next day. It's timestamped as the 15th, meaning we have actually had an extra day wedged into the narrative. I propose we name it 'Whaterday'.
Of all the characters we could have started with, we end up with Norm, the guy who watches C-SPAN.
Mineola, New York: “Boy this is amazing stuff” said Norm, reading in its entirety a copy of the Patriot Bill Julia gave him. “What a week to start a new job in Washington. You’re now part of the 107th Congress, which will be an historic one."
This feels all kinds of illegal. Also, we find out what Julia's job is. Apparently she's Clinton's direct advisor.
“Julia, how are you going to advise Senator Clinton to vote?” Norm asked.
“I will ask her to seek changes in some of the provisions to make sure civil liberties are protected,” Julia responded.
We cut back to Freddy, who is once again at work. The restaurant is empty, but Dr. Berry and Georgina walk in.
Georgina:
“Thank you, Freddy, it feels good to hear that. It’s been a nightmare, just horrible! I lost a friend that I have known since the 3rd grade. Now just like that she’s gone. Brenda had everything going for her, a great job and just got engaged. I was excited for her and couldn’t wait to go to her wedding this New Year’s Eve,” Georgina said.
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Freddy said.
“Her funeral was yesterday. I couldn’t stop crying during her eulogy,” Georgina said.
Emote! For g-d's sake, emote!
Next day. Osama bin Laden denies responsibility for the attacks publicly. Freddy plays softball. Nothing else happens.
Monday. Freddy's parents visit.
“Mom, so much for easing into your new job. I’ve watched a lot of news this past week. It’s hard to believe the government has so many blind spots tracking terrorists. The CIA has known some hijackers had entered the country, but didn’t or couldn’t notify the FBI. This is a classic case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. The bill you’re studying, I’m guessing, is trying to correct that,” Freddy said.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure information about this didn't get out until much later?
Kaplan continues his efforts to retroactively make us care about Thorton:
The conversation turned to Thorton, and his mom started to tear up. She had known him for nearly forty years. When she had her bout with depression after losing Vicky in the late sixties, Thorton was very supportive. He helped make sure she didn’t lose her tenure. He was always that way, trying to help people solve their problems, never asking for anything in return. It was not surprising that Thorton took the lead planning Professor Wilson’s retirement party. Unfortunately it cost him his life.
“Yes, he had two daughters. We saw them both at the funeral. One is in her early thirties; she is married with two adorable little kids. The other one is still in college. Andrea, the younger one, was particularly close to her dad. She depended on him for a lot of emotional and financial guidance,” Julia said.
It's not working, Mr. Kaplan. It never works that way.
Frank, talking about the media:
"Son, these talking heads
ONCE IN A LIFETIME—
They go on to talk about the economy. In great detail.
Now we cut to a new POV character:
That evening, over at the City Gazette, in front of a large plaque on his desk that read ‘CEO and Editor-in-Chief’ cigar-chomping Louie Melvin met with his staff to decide on the next day’s headline. One of his young reporters burst in during the meeting and said, “You’re not going to believe what might be happening.”
“Hey, this better be fucking good, Henry, for you to barge in here,” Louie said.
“It is. A source of mine gave me two contacts of women who lost their husbands on 9/11. Both of them received letters in the mail that read: “I’m sorry for your tragic loss last Tuesday. I hope this will help.” The help was a bank check made out for over half a million dollars. Both of their husbands worked for a company called Portfolio Inc. This is the company that had over two hundred of its employees murdered on September 11th at the World Trade Center,” Henry said.
Freddy's actions have now caught the ear of the press.
Next day:
On his way to work, Harris walked past a newsstand and was stunned to see the City Gazette headline: ‘9/11 Victims Receive Magic Envelopes’.
This isn't an actual paper, but I want you to read this article because I'm pretty sure whoever wrote it flunked out of journalism school.
“Last Tuesday New York suffered the worst terrorist attack in mankind’s history, masterminded by an evil force headed by Osama bin Laden. His head zombie, Mohammed Atta, crashed the first plane into the World Trade Center and was successful in committing mass murder, casting a cloud of darkness over the city. They underestimated the unbridled spirit and determination of our firemen and police. Now the terrorists have run into a stronger force. The compassion and generosity of our citizens is second to none. An angel is now among us, sending what only can be called ‘magic envelopes’ to help the families of 9/11 victims.”
Freddy is now being praised higher than the first responders. I don't think I should have to explain how gross this feels.
Oh, and apparently it also refers to him as a 'White Knight'. Go figure.
By afternoon, Freddy's story has been picked up by every major news network.
Next day, Monica's turn in the spotlight again. It's her first day back at work. She's not doing very well.
With her office a mere five blocks from Ground Zero, the smell of smoke still permeated the air.
I hope cancer doesn't run in the family.
The chapter ends with her throwing herself into her work.
I don't have anything more to say about this.
See you tomorrow, folks.
My heart goes out to you, brave soul. I'm sure I would have gleefully burned this sorry excuse for a book five chapters ago.
By the way, you missed a /quote after "Freddy thought to himself, Thank G-d."
Which I have been pronouncing "gid," just for the sake of the record.
5076825
Ah feck, I keep forgetting to check. Thanks.
I'm... kind of assuming that was meant to read 'particularly'?
I forgot who Vicky was. Congratulations Kaplan you made an infant dying forgettable
I forced myself to read each part of quoted text. My eyes wanted to slip past to avoid the horror but I forced myself to read them because you read them and you shouldn't be alone in this trama.
I'm not going to read the full story though. I'm not that masochistic.
Hang in there RB_, almost through, almost through.
I really don't know what to think about "His head zombie".
At least I can take solace in knowing that, even when I'm stuck vomiting out utter dreck, I'm still loads better at writing than Jeffrey Kaplan.
5089666
I had to double back and check what was written. It seems my brain had developed a protective blind spot over that portion.