Present Perfect vs. Spring Breakdown · 5:27pm Mar 31st, 2019
Yeah, I literally just tried to call it "Spring Breakers" we've already used that pun okay
Fuck it, I'm loveblogging because I don't give a shit. :V And I'll probably forget everything I want to say by the end if I don't.
I approve of Micro Chips's turn-of-the-century choice in swimwear.
So is this, like, a direct sequel to Dance Magic? The Shadowbolts were supposed to be having a cruise for their spring break, and they promised to share once they made up with the Rainbooms. Have we waited two years for that payoff? O.o Wow.
I don't think I have ever felt this sorry for Applejack before.
Hi, she's Rainbow Dash, and she's here to save the day!
Ooh, this is the one where they all go to Equestria, right? :D Because blatant foreshadowing.
But yeah, I don't think human Rainbow Dash has had an opportunity to gamefully fuck things up. Let's see where this goes. :)
I don't think I've ever seen a French stereotype chef who was female before. :O Representation?
Who puts a petting zoo on a fucking cruise ship? Someone who knows Fluttershy needs something to do in this special.
Oh my god it's what's her name from the babysitting short :D I really wish I could remember her fucking name, she's the best. Though I'm also digging the look of this other kid with the glasses.
"A goat on a boat?" Okay, no, I take it back, that is the reason there's a petting zoo here. 
It is literally not possible for Rainbow Dash to be dumber than this moment right now.
I think I need to write a sequel to "I'll Show You Apple Brown Betty!" where Applejack pukes on Rainbow Dash in revenge. <.< Or you can just imagine it, because literally no one needs to write that.
Okay, but Flash Sentry definitely got a sick burn over on Trixie. I'll give this that much.
Ten what? <.< It's not like being in international waters means everything is on sale. You're being a bad role model, Rarity; coming aboard just to do some duty-free shopping is hardly generous. :B (To say nothing of you and your friends having to be a certain level of affluent to be able to go on a cruise in the first place!)
FUCKING WHAT IS THIS GUY'S ACCENT
I HATED THIS SCENE BECAUSE HANDS-TOUCH-BLUSH TROPE BUT NOW I HATE IT MOST
WHAT WHY also I guess he's our villain probably since he gets a name and everything :B
They have guitar, bass, drums and at least two people who can sing. I am very aware that they don't need Rainbow Dash or Rarity at the moment.
Good job taking initiative and being the responsible adult, Sunnybun. :3 Since you're like ten years older than everyone else and all.
fucking shit what in the donk is wrong with that guy I hate him so much argh
Okay, playing magical music at sea in the middle of a thunderstorm has "epically bad idea" written all over it.
Oh my god, who is that girl with the dark hair in front of Flash Sentry? Like, my initial thought is Somnambula, but it's quickly apparent that's wrong for a number of reasons. But her design is so fresh! Why is she even there? Argh!
Nice fuckin' job, Rainbow Dash. Now you're worst human, too. :V The song was only decent, though, so I'm not mad about it being cut off.
I really want Sunset to just clock Rainbow across the jaw right now.
Okay, but this is literally the best music ever to appear in this series? Curse you, Ragamuffin, and your horribly unfitting name!
STORM KING @_@
So Pinkie's powers affect any kind of candy? And the explosion is sparkly regardless of size and granularity? o.o Why am I counting the details on this?
dat reference to the stupid play short XD
I hate that Rainbow has at least a small point. Doesn't change that she's being a total dumb butt about it.
"I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world." DID I MENTION THERE'S A TON OF SHIP FUEL ON THIS SHIP
How do you get cell phone reception on the high seas when the power's out?
Floggin' that self-blame a little hard there, Sunnybun.
That's a blush that says Rarity just remembered where her heart truly lies :V
"We forgot to untie the rope." Now that is a well-executed fakeout joke. :)
Would they literally have just stood there, rubbing their arms, if the parrot ex machina hadn't said anything? Of course Rainbow Dash went in the jungle, she's Rainbow Dash.
Crab just murdered a spider! :D I mean, it's more fuel for the "spiders are friends" agenda, but it also proves that crabs are the most dangerous enemy in Humania.
Twilight Sparkle: not built for jungle exploration.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash could have died on her own. :D
"Gotta stop saying my name all the time." I am fucking dying right now XD I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe!
Giant plant monster? Yawn :V
This is how they get to Equestria? Literally what?
Twilight just cannot handle it XD
Well hey, number one, Sunset doesn't have wings, but Sci-Twi doesn't either. I am pleased by this, I am okay with it. It also doesn't make sense, since she gets them when she ponies up, but you know what? Baby steps. They don't matter in the long run. Also, I'm pretty sure that's the mirror pool.
"All my things are HORSE THINGS" This is the greatest moment in the history of the entire show. I literally don't care what else happens, I had to get up and step away because I'm dying, and watching this special has been 100% worth it.
I'm actually excited by the idea of there being multiple portals between Equestria and Humania now. Like, that's solid fanfic fuel.
I love that Dash's wings are just hanging limply at her sides, fantastic detail.
"Ahoy, uh... matey?" Rarity has already been overshadowed, but this is amazing.
Dude, Screw Loose is out on her own again. She's come so far, I'm so proud of her. ;_; She needs to get more sleep, though.
Also, is anyone else just kind of entirely weirded out by seeing Sunset in Ponyville? That's literally never happened before, she stands out like a sore hoof. o.o
Whoa. c.c That Dali horse painting. We've seen that before, where have we seen that?
Dragon wedding? <.<
Congratulations, Twilight and Rainbow Dash, you're the new Pinkie Pie and Rarity.
NO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DID NOT MAKE HER SAY TWENTY PERCENT COOLER THIS IS THE WORST SPECIAL D:<
I mean, not even Sunset is amused.
Holy fuck, this boat is going to be trashed. And they're all going to get flung into the portal, right? RIGHT?
Yeah, no, that was a great Trixie moment.
Holy shit, she literally just has the Staff of Sacanas sitting around in the castle? o.o Why? Why? Also, this is the closest to seeing movie canon in the show we've ever had? Like, I know Mount Aris, and also Tempest was mentioned at the start of season 8, but... Like, that doesn't count. Most canon since Mount Aris.
HOW IS BONELESS THERE HE TURNED INTO A KEY
Also why Mister Turnip? What?
Wow, uh, also, backing up a little... Giant stone die from Dragon Pit, the Staff of Sameness, a crown, a torch? (are these the season 8 relics?), something that looks like a scarab staff with a hookshot for a tail, bunches of books, a chest, and the bag of glopaz from Somnambula (the town, not the pony). <.< Why does Twilight have all this stuff?
I'm impressed with how different Twilight and Sci-Twi are side by side. Like, their mannerisms and how they talk. And then Dash says "Ladies" and you remember she's not actually a pony. How cool.
FUCK LIFEBOATS
Oh, huh, I was kind of expecting to actually see the Storm King's face or something, but I guess Twilight was right. Just his magic.
And you can hear everyone on the boat still screaming as it slowly sinks. XD
YES I was really hoping she would Rainbow Jesus them to victory :D
Priorities, Pinkie.
Goddammit, I really hate how right To Perytonia is about Rainbow Dash. XD
Oh. I'm not crazy. I noticed Twilight's hair clip earlier, but I never realized these are new power sources? Did Rarity fashion their geodes into something new and I just forgot? But Dash used her bracelet to power up like a minute ago and I was kind of wondering about that but now I get it okay
Who the fuck brings rabbit-sized life vests on a cruise ship? Maniacs, that's who.
Why can Sunset fly lol c.c
WHY CAN SUNSET FLY LOL
"Good thing I'm a slow learner." Wow, I don't even.
IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO GET STUCK ON A CAKE IT WOULD DISSOLVE D: And that's not even the most wrong thing with that scene!
Well, I was wrong about fuckboy here, but I still hate him :B
HIS ACCENT WAS FAKE :D OH MY GOD
Now we Lord of Flies, Fluttershy :V
wow
Okay, so all things considered -- and remember, I was constantly pausing and tabbing away from the video while watching it -- that was solidly middle of the road as EQG things go. Not amazing, not really bad in any way, and not hitting that "there's nothing wrong with it, but they also didn't do anything with it, so it's kind of bad" level that some episodes reach. They didn't play it safe, in other words, and it paid off big time.
Like, I don't think there's been an EQG special, short or movie that was this funny. Consistently funny, oh my god, and it all amounts to just a bunch of fantastic out-there shit we can use in fanfics, and that's really all I need. EQG is the series I keep my expectations low for, that I ask little of, and I have been rewarded for my patience and suffering through the horrible shorts. :B
So yea, it's maybe a three-point-five-outta-five overall, but I have no complaints. :D
For the record, the little girl from the babysitting short is Lily Pad. Don't believe we've named that other background human.
And yeah, this is just a mountain of fic fodder.
Here are my own thoughts on Spring Breakdown: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/851736/my-thoughts-while-watching-spring-breakdown-at-2am
From loving to hating in ten seconds flat? That's an academy record!
Actually has ponies in... guess I'll have to watch it.
I just hate how hopping in and out of Equestria isn't even a big deal anymore. Science Twilight adjusting to being a pony is a whole movie on its own, heck everyone meeting their pony selves is, but nah, just bring a literal boatload of people to horseland... Off screen.
They keep having maybe okay ideas and then just squashing them in between the bad ones.
+Rainbow Dash after entering the portal says let's do it pony style!
+Rarity doesn't flirt and instead goes straight to making out with a handsome stranger. Desperate much?
-Rainbow Dash acting like a cunt for thirty minutes to make the plot work.
I also imagine a scenario where Sunset Shimmer pushes the crew onto the quicksand to get them to Equestria, and instead of explaining to them that it's a portal, says 'trust me' before pressing their heads below the surface.
I legit almost passed out from laughing so hard at the 20% Cooler joke.
5035707
LILY PAD
I need to burn that into my brain D:
5035734
What can I say, I'm fickle :B
5035767
ur a but
5035739 I can see how that looks to the uninitiated.
"Come on, everybody. Let's go spend spring break somewhere we can run around naked all day!"
The most fun I’ve had with MLP in a long long time. This special is very yes.
Also sunset can fly as of the end of My Past Is Not Today.
5035734
Honestly. The fact they made her mean it non idiomatically makes it hilarious.
Sweet and Elite. It was in the Art Gallery during "The Pony Every Pony Should Know"
5037393
Thank you.
5037498
I suppose the question is, why is Twilight now in possession of it? Is it on loan to a Princess for decoration in a castle? Did she *buy* that thing, and if she did, is that where her tastes to art run?
5037623
Sounds like a story!
5037632
I'm gonna go with, 'got drunk with Fancy Pants during Charity Casino Night at his place and shenanigans followed.'
Cockneyish English lower (working?) class? Anyway it's awful. Also, why is someone with a clearly English accent Irish dancing? (Note: answered, kinda, later.)
It's true. And she doesn't even really have a point if Twilight doesn't do the "durr, we aren't superheroes" thing. There's still the "well yeah, we are, but there isn't anything for us to superhero right now line, which is totally legitimate.
Hell yeah. And some of it isn't even terrible, forced BS. *cough* *Ragamuffin* *cough*
Yeah, felt that too.
She had me feeling irked with the "not superheroes" thing already, but this then had me wondering if she was always this much of a wimp.
Why were they all like "we need to get something to pull you out" when they have a telekinetic with them? (Answer: because the script had her using that ability against the plant monster soon after in the scene. But it's not a good answer.)
No, it's "why can Sunset fly without her "My Past Is Not Today" phoenix wings." :V
By any chance, do you remember "'she's a ptardis.' ... ''Course we know. But we don't say it.'"? Still one of my favorite fanfic lines about Pinkie, and this gave me that vibe.
And then like... it comes to nothing. What was the point of any of this?
For all that my major reactions were negative, I'm mostly with you. There wasn't much bad, and a lot of jokes hit (even if there were some heavy duds -- 20%, looking at you). Hopefully Rainbow and Twilight learned something from this, and the new portal concept is cool.
5040804
Yaknow, I hate to devote extra brain cells to Ragamuffin (for all that I'm planning a story making fun of him), but one thing struck me about his arc. And the question we should be asking is, why would someone doing Irish step-dancing have a fake accent?
He wants to be a dancer. He's obviously good at it. But he feels like he doesn't fit in with traditional folk dancers, so he's adopted an accent to try and seem more genuine. And that handily explains why he sometimes sounds Cockney and sometimes sounds Irish. I mean, it's either that or accept the show runners just don't believe in British people. As in, thinking they're just people who decide to talk funny for no reason.
Of course, it also suggests that Ireland is a real place in Humania, but, eh, Grittish Isles and Trottingham are on the official map of Equestria, so. :B
5040855
Well, the closest they had for a year were Rarity and Blueblood...