Being against evil doesn't make you good.
I've been a bit under the weather since Trotcon, but feeling better now.
This weekend I need to work on putting together some poni stuff for my niece (she's up here for her birthday), and my inability to do basic things makes that a bit difficult. So I may be delayed a few days on the Trotcon retro and the other long post I still really really want to share with y'all.
To head off any possible confusion, I've added a clarification to TEEE's story page and a note at the top of the chapter explaining that TEEE was not written using LLM generative AI (the story actually predates this technology by several years).
[Adult story embed hidden]
I remain alive, and as of June 13th am now the number of symmetries in a cube.
I will be at Trotcon.
Please contact me if you're there! (Or even if not, that's okay too.) 
I might do an author party. I'll announce it with another post. Signal boost would be useful.
Sorry for disappearing. Ironically the thing I wanna talk about is the thing that keeps me from being here at FF or getting anything done. 
Everything has ground to a halt lately because depression.
I'm going back to intravenous ketamine treatments. Who knows what damage it does to my brain, but it's the only thing that works. Stories and updates will follow once my mood improves.
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hey ive had depression for years and was suicidal the one thing you need to know is things will get better,also things may get worse before they get better you just gotta keep trying and dont give up
I wish you the very best, Trick, with the treatment and in life overall. I've been thinking of you the past several weeks and hoping you were doing better. Please know that you are in my thoughts and I'm sure the thoughts of so many.
Take care and be well, dear friend!
Unless you're using a metric fuckton of the stuff, ketamine won't do anything bad to you. I'm not aware of a single case of the symptoms of recreation use appearing in someone using it medically (assuming proper supervision, etc, etc.)
If I might ask, what are you doing to treat the depression itself?
I sincerely hope this works out for you. Do keep us updated on treatments, yeah?
Hope you feel better soon!
*hugs!*
4998419
I've tried literally everything else, including therapy, except for woo (pseudoscientific bullshit). The only things that work are ECT and ketamine, and ECT is too invasive and the results fade almost immediately.
I don't think it will do anything bad but long-term ketamine use is not well-researched and it definitely isn't good for me. It probably lowers my life expectancy and increases the onset time of dementia when I'm older.
Ah, I'm sorry about that; good luck.
edit:
4998531
Hm. If you've tried everything else with so little success, have you considered finding some harmless-if-it-doesn't-work woo of a more plausible sort and trying it just in case? Might be extremely unlikely, but if there's a nonzero chance of them having hit on something whether or not it works how they think it does, it sounds like it might be useful to you. Don't know the full details of your situation (or where you're drawing the woo line, so perhaps you have already eliminated herbal medicine and such), but I thought I'd suggest it just in case when the idea came to me.
I hope you feel better soon :(
Ever try that marijuana? I've heard it's good for stuff like that. (It's probably less harmful than all the other drugs you've had.)
4998733
I have, but it doesn't do very much for me. I haven't tried a strain high in CBD that medical Rx are likely to follow, though, and I may end up trying it just for the myofascial pain.
For what it's worth, I wish you a quick
recovery. OK, that's not really possible, but at the very least I hope you find quick relief from the symptoms, and may the side effects remain manageable.I know what depression feels like and you seem to have gotten hit a lot harder than me. Anything's better than this.