Friendship is Card Games: A Rockhoof and a Hard Place · 11:24am Sep 16th, 2018
A shovel solves a lot of problems, but it can’t do much against a generation gap the size of the Grand Canyon.
I do appreciate the bit of karma for Professor Fossil. This is what you get for dismissing one pony saving his village from a volcano as outlandish in a world where a librarian ascended to demigodhood a few years ago, lady.
Speaking of which, Professor Fossil’s really underscores the ongoing confusion between archeology and paleontology in Equestria (or at least among the writers.)
Rockhoof always left the sweat lodge like that. He probably doesn’t wipe off exercise equipment after he uses it either.
Rockhoof does not appreciate deception. Remember, Honesty evolved from Strength. (Which reminds me, I still need to write that virtue comparison blog…)
I do appreciate how Rockhoof gets thrown into the School of Friendship’s faculty without hesitation, while even Twilight didn’t even consider making a similar offer to Star Swirl. Say a lot, doesn’t it?
Gallus has a point. This school certainly has a very eccentric faculty. Which is to be expected when most of them never planned on teaching, but there’s little point in beating that dead horse.
Yona’s hero worship/crush on Rockhoof is adorable.
“Theory of defensive friendship,” eh? Turns out Twilight’s the School’s DADA teacher. Makes sense to me.
“Stone sleep” is certainly one way to describe what the diarchs did to Discord. And either Twilight’s been glossing over the details or the students haven’t been retaining much going by that “hundred of moons” comment. Or it could involve getting into how long a moon actually is, and I’m perfectly find with leaving that particular stone unturned.
Anyone else think of Daffy Duck as Robin Hood as Rockhoof called his attacks?
I can certainly understand Rockhoof’s reaction to the fire. Maybe future firebreathing competitions should be outside of the flammable building? It’s nice to see Spike and Smolder bonding, but just because the school didn’t pass muster with the EEA doesn’t mean you should antagonize the fire department as well.
Nice to see Rarity figured out how to make friendship quilting work.
Read the room, Pinkie.
Heh. Speaking of which, Rockhoof’s attempts at mail delivery echo Pinkie calling for aid for the incredibly bald donkey. Poor Cranky. He just can’t win.
Canterlot did exist when the Pillars were sent to Limbo. That wasn’t guaranteed. Not surprised to hear it’s changed since.
It’s very good to know how the other Pillars are faring. While it does lessen fan fic opportunities, it’s still good to get canonical answers to the question rather than let them… well, float in Limbo. 
I am rather surprised that Flash Magnus kept his old uniform, though that may be more a matter of conserving Flash resources than anything Watsonian.
And Somnambula… I’ll just post this link to summarize my thoughts on ponies in the lotus position.
Stygian as a novelist is honestly kind of fantastic. Especially since he’s gotten no fewer than three books out in under a year, and even more so given his bibilocentric descendant. That stallion has quite a few stories to tell.
Really, the whole Pillar montage feels like the plight of the one minmaxer at a table full of roleplayers:
“My bard is a motivational speaker.”
“My alchemist runs an apothecary in her hometown.”
“My barbarian… uh… Look, just tell me when we get to the next combat encounter.”
Putting aside Rockhoof in a sailor uniform—not easily done, I know—General Seaspray didn’t have those facial scars in “School Daze.” What has the hippogriff navy been dealing with? Holdouts of the Storm King’s regime? Opportunists seeking to fill the power vacuum? Ocean monsters? I’m going to say “All of the above.”
Also, Seaspsray’s talk of having to adapt to a strange new world makes me wonder just how long the hippo(griffs|campi) were sequestered in Seaquestria… and in turn, how long Celestia was completely unaware of the problem facing one of her alleged allies.
“Coltic ancestors,” eh? I have to think this just because the voice actor can’t do a passable Scandinavian accent. Rockhoof’s character design is more Norse than Loki eating lutefisk and lingonberries, especially when taking the rest of the Mighty Helm into account.
The constellation Rockhoof points out drifted awfully fast in just a few thousand years. By all rights, they only should’ve scraped that island. That or the stars are much closer to Equestria. And this does raise the question of what relation, if any, Luna has to the stars themselves.
Blaming Twilight for dragging him out of the time abyss. Low blow, Rockhoof.
We see a periodic table in the classroom as Spike subs in, and it appears electron shells in Equestria make as much sense as pony genetics. Or their table is mostly the work of wishful thinking and alchemists who went a little too heavy on the mercury. Or it’s the Periodic Table of Harmony, which is slightly more inscrutable than the map table.
It’s nice to hear from Terramar again… though I do hope there are more than a few relatives between Silverstream and the throne.
“Your Highness, the enemy has sunk our entire navy.”
“That’s amazing! How’d they do it?”
I have to wonder what Discord would think of someone asking to be petrified. And that’s putting aside suicidal undertones I haven’t seen since “No Second Prances.”
That said, Rockhoof considering both the right pose and how to minimize surface area presented to pigeons added a nice bit of levity to the situation.
I do appreciate how there were some groans amid the cheers when Rockhoof delivered the one-liner at the end of his tale.
Even Twilight isn’t sure what powers she has as Princess of Friendship, but she’s willing to exploit the ambiguity for her friends.
I can see the motion lines in Smolder’s flap cycle, and it really bothers me.
In all, this was a great “where are they now?” episode, resolving the Season 7 loose ends that “Friendship University” didn’t touch and resolving its conflict in a fantastic way. Goodness knows that Equestria could use more historical literacy given how many ancient evils catch even devoted scholars by surprise. Plus, Rockhoof represents an era before the diarchs became major players on the world stage, so it’s not like Celestia and Luna are already filling his niche.
(That said, farm life was always an option. Even if the Pillar of Strength was too much for Sweet Apple Acres, the Pies’ rock farm might have been right up his alley… though that leads to the question of whether he’d want that kind of quiet life. Though there’s always construction, demolition, Yakyakistani ambassador…)
Now, let me tell you a few tales of my own…
Lithic Stasis WW
Enchantment
When Lithic Stasis enters the battlefield, exile target creature or planeswalker an opponent controls until Lithic Stasis leaves the battlefield.
”Ponies claim you sleep through it. I invite them to test that for themselves.”
—Discord
Protective Archeologist 2W
Creature — Pony Artificer
Activated abilities of artifacts can’t be activated.
”Put that down! It belongs in a display case, not your grubby hooves.”
2/3
Canterlot Drill Sergeant 3W
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Mentor (Whenever this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on target attacking creature with lesser power.)
3W: Create a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying.
”Look alive, rookies!”
2/3
One with the Heavens 3W
Instant
Exile target creature an opponent controls. That player may put an enchantment card from their hand onto the battlefield.
It remains unclear whether the starbeasts migrated from the skies to Ungula or the other way around.
Intense Meditation 2U
Enchantment
1U, Tap and exert an untapped creature you control: Draw a card. (An exerted creature won’t untap during your next untap step.)
“I owe Star Swirl an apology. Mental exhaustion’s worse than I thought.”
—Rockhoof, Pillar of Strength
Shovel Launch 3UU
Instant
Improvise (Your artifacts can help cast this spell. Each artifact you tap after you're done activating mana abilities pays for 1.)
Return up to two target creatures to their owners’ hands.
Basalt Beach Behemoth 5UU
Creature — Leviathan
Hexproof
The seaponies hid from far more than just the Storm King.
6/6
Dark Novelist 2B
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
Whenever a spell or ability you control deals damage to you or causes you to lose life, draw a card.
”Art without suffering is fit only for the discount bin.”
2/2
Chain Shot 1R
Instant
Chain Shot deals 1 damage to each creature.
Jump-start (You may cast this card from your graveyard by discarding a card in addition to paying its other costs. Then exile this card.)
“Bet you can’t do that again.”
Competitive Firebreather 1RR
Creature — Dragon
Flying
All creatures have “(2r): This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.”
”The dragon smirked at Gusty and said, ‘I’d like to see you do better.’ So she did.”
—“Gusty the Great”
2/2
Wrath of the Mighty Helm 2R
Enchantment
This spell can’t be countered.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell during your turn, Wrath of the Mighty Helm deals 2 damage to that player.
Rockhoof upholds the Mighty Helm’s code of honor to this day, including the consequences of violating it.
Increasing Volcanism 3R
Sorcery
Target player sacrifices a land. If this spell was cast from your graveyard, that player sacrifices two lands instead.
Flashback 5RR (You may cast this spell from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)
Rockhoof’s Exuberance XRR
Sorcery
Rockhoof’s Exuberance deals X damage to each creature. Destroy each artifact with converted mana cost X or less.
”This is why we couldn’t have nice things.”
—Mistmane, Pillar of Beauty
Shovel Strike X2R
Instant
Target creature you control gets +X/+0 until end of turn, then fights target creature you don’t control.
Rockhoof devised an entire martial art for his tool of choice, one almost elegant in its brutality.
Trowel Squire 2G
Creature — Ox Warrior
Trowel Squire gets +1/+1 for each legendary creature you control.
A truly great hero can inspire anyone, regardless of species.
2/2
Bayou Apothecary 3G
Creature — Pony Shaman
Undergrowth — When Bayou Apothecary enters the battlefield, you gain 2 life for each creature card in your graveyard.
Meadowbrook keeps some of her recipes confidential, knowing few modern ponies could look past the ingredients.
2/3
The Great Bear 4G
Enchantment — Saga
(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I — Create a 4/4 green Spirit Bear creature token.
II, III — Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature you don’t control.
Mount Aris Caravel 3
Artifact — Vehicle
As Mount Aris Caravel becomes a creature, it becomes your choice of 3/5 or 5/3.
Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
The hippogriffs’ navy is as adaptable as the rest of their culture.
*/*
Crystal Blossom 5
Artifact
T: Add two mana in any combination of colors.
”Mistmane’s a natural crystalshaper. She makes my work look like Flurry Heart playing with salt dough.”
—Cadence, Princess of Serenity
Disastrous Salvation (wb)
Instant
As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.
Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn.
”We did tend to cause our share of collateral damage. Especially Rockhoof.”
—Flash Magnus, Pillar of Bravery
Rockhoof, Keeper of Tales RGW
Legendary Creature — Pony Warrior
Trample
Whenever Rockhoof, Keeper of Tales attacks, put a lore counter on target Saga you control.
Whenever Rockhoof deals combat damage to a player, return target historic card from your graveyard to your hand. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
4/4
Devious Griffin 2(ub)(ub)
Creature — Griffin Rogue
Flash
Flying
”Oh. Hey there. Don’t worry, I’m part of a special friendship initiative Princess Twilight set up. Definitely where I’m supposed to be.”
3/2
Apian Delivery 2BG
Instant
Until end of turn, target creature gains “Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, create that many 1/1 green Insect creature tokens with flying and deathtouch.”
”You’re going to have to sign for those.”
Look at the bright side. She could be a professor of paleoncology, and none would be the wiser.
“Theory and defense of friendship,” unfortunately: Later, Spike says it a lot clearer.
It’s ok. In a small town like that, the duty naturally falls to the weather patrol, and we know who’s still holding that job down, don’t we?
Wanna bet he’s not going to have them next time he shows up? They’re part of the uniform.
Not the direction I thought this was going.
media.giphy.com/media/betoxVk0iqq7m/giphy.gif
That roleplaying comparison is spot-on. XD He has a gift: he shovels well. Ain't much call for shovelers these days.
Also, I firmly believe their Periodic Table goes something like this:
He Hearts
St Stars
Hs Horseshoes
Cl Clovers
Bm Blue Moons
:V
OoOoOoOoOoOo, please do
I liked this episode. It used the new characters well, and it had a conflict that was actually new, and not something the show has done many times before. And really, who doesn't love Rockhoof?
4938421
Pg Pots o Gold
Rn Rainbows
Rb Red Baloons
4938415
Still similar concepts. If anything, defense of friendship opens up less friendly options for defending it.
Do we? When's the last time we saw Dash doing municipal-level weather work? I'm asking that sincerely.
"I really must speak to Her Majesty about this. Does she have any idea how hard it is to get spirit gum out of feathers?"
4938417
I never said it couldn't solve those sorts of problems.
4938421
I think it makes Stygian's career path even funnier.
"My warlock is an acclaimed author, drawing inspiration from his struggles with the dark forces that wish to lay claim to his very soul."
"For crying out loud, Dave..."
4938448
You beat me to it. Also, I have to think the Rn/Rb distinction has driven more than one Equestrian chemistry student to tears.
4938428
It's on my to-do list, for whatever that's worth.
4938468
The difference is quite substantial though – defensive friendship is friendship applied for the purpose of defense, defense of friendship is (potentially unfriendly) activity to protect friendship from harm.
On screen? Season 2 or so. Secondary canon, however, insists this is still fact, so it’s a safe bet episode writers will take the path of most inertia.
Pretty sure he doesn’t have feathers on the face, though…
4938501
Huh. So she's on the Wonderbolts' active roster, working as a full-time teacher, on standby for map missions and doing weather management? Dash keeps a busy schedule.
Sky Beak? He does have the head of an eagle, so I would assume he does have feathers on his face.
4938513
Rarity with her three boutiques and the aforementioned teaching job had to go to the mirror pool to make ends meet, rumors say.
Hm. Possible, but difficult to be certain…
personally I think it make perfect sense if you think of Conviction as the transitional element between the two elements.
Do you not too have a ❤ for Helium? The nobelist of the noble gasses?
On the other side of things I am sad they are not making the latest addition have a full purple mane with curls.
You say that, but you forget who's next in line: Right. Next. In. Line.
I loved this episode too, though it made me sad because I thought after shadow play we would get an entire season of this. That is the Pillar matched up with their modern equivalent, exploring the world and fitting in. I would have loved a Dash / Flash, Wonderbolt / EUP / Getting-a-job-in-canterlot episode for instance. Or Fluttershy and Meadowbrook solving a medical / animal problem together. Starlight and Stygian working through past issues, etc etc.
Oh well at least the pillars are not gone per-se and are still very much there and around.
Allow me to throw another one your way:
Encroaching Despair 1(ub)(ub)
Sorcery
Target tapped creature does not untap during its owner's next untap step.
If the the target creature is still tapped at the end of it's owner's next turn, they must sacrifice it.
"Even legends grow weary when they can do no more deeds worth speaking of, lass." - Rockhoof, Pillar of Strength
-
I really liked this episode. Granted, due to personally reasons I always take note when episodes go in this particular direction... which has happened three times now...
MLP writing staff, you okay?
THANK YOU! Glad I'm not the only one to think that would be the perfect position for him.
Canterlot Drill Sergeant looks like a bit of an efficient rate to make flying tokens, especially given it then grows them.
Hee. Dark Novelist is bonkers-good in the right deck. I'd build that deck.
Rockhoof's Exuberance is a nice representation of his style. Though the resulting gameplay is a bit more "pinpoint-precise" than the flavour suggests.
Shovel Strike is a brilliant combination of two (now) red effects that's not been done before. As usual you have some great natural innovations here such as the Mount Aris Caravel.
Trowel Squire could probably be {1}{G}, even at common.
The implications of Bayou Apothecary are disturbing!
(Apologies for commenting late: we watch the Season 8 episodes as a family and there would be great penalties for watching ahead!)