Moth Presents: #ShitStarfireSays · 11:14pm Jul 26th, 2018
One thing I do on Twitter from time to time is tweet out random nonsense in Starfire-speak, with the hashtag #ShitStarfireSays. I'm pretty much the only person who ever uses this hashtag (at least, since 2013 or so), so searching it on Twitter will mostly find a bunch of tweets from me.
Why do I do this? Boredom.
Below is a collection of all of my #ShitStarfireSays tweets, grouped by category.
Why am I posting this blog? To distract myself from the 100 degree heat.
#SHITSTARFIRESAYS about the new TITANS live-action series:
"I have never once heard Robin say the fuck."
"You wish for me to dress like the hooker?"
"But WHY do you wish to fuck the Batman, Robin? You are always reminding everyone you are NOT the gay!"
"Even the Wing of the Night is not such a...what is the word? Lord of Sharp Edges?"
#SHITSTARFIRESAYS about PENISES:
"JACK OF THE OFF! JACK OF THE OFF!"
"No, no I will not eat it, the penis."
"I will not suck it, the penis that smells like hay."
"Please, do NOT ask me to schnitzel your wiener."
"I will NOT lick it, the tiny penis."
#SHITSTARFIRESAYS about HERSELF:
"I am the jailbait."
"It is not working with the dill OR the dough."
"My head hurts like the son of the female dog."
"Beast Boy, I have been attempting to make a dish that tastes like the butt."
"I have shaved the hairy uncle. It was not...the fun."
"May I dingle your berry?"
"I have the high degree of the surl this morning."
"I have...the butt skunks."
#SHITSTARFIRESAYS about OTHER PEOPLE:
"Robin has the high fever. I am afraid he has...the AIDS."
"No, Beast Boy! Do not drink from the toilet! It is the Taco Tuesday!"
"It is the person who fornicates with the mother."
"I have been watching a homeless man fornicate with himself in the dog walking park. It was most educational."
OTHER #SHITSTARFIRESAYS:
"Your ass is the grass."
"It is the holiest of shits!"
"This heat exceeds the temperature of the man who fornicates with his mother!"
This is true beauty
moar!
You know why you did it. Teen Titans Go! To the Movies comes out tomorrow.
I'll never understand why the original Teen Titans warranted one DTV movie, while TTG! gets a theatrical release.
I LOVE this.
This is the great
I do not know how to make the television reference! WHOOP WHOOP HOOP HOOP A DOOP!!!
I'm guessing Starfire is not impressed by this new Titans show?
4908648
I don't think many people are...they kinda Fucked it up trying to make it more mature.
4908657
Wait, is it already out?
4908657
They honestly lost me at Edgelord Robin and "Fuck Batman."
4908667
No, but when it does, it's hopefully not gonna go far. They pushed too much.
4908668
To be fair, Robin's been edgy in comics before. Not that I'm defending it or anything.
I haven't seen the trailer, so is what Starfire's wearing any worse than her comics counterpart?
4908802
I wouldn't say worse in terms of revealingness or trashiness, it's just that it's she's wearing the kind of fur-trimmed coat a hooker wears?
4908819
*looks at picture* ...Wait, that's supposed to be Starfire?
Starfire: *GLOMP* Oh, Friend Raven! Beast Boy has just informed me that you, too, are highly desirous of "the D"!
Raven: [making mental note to kill BB] … Wait, "too"?
Starfire: Oh yes! I must have it each and every day. I could not live without the D!
Raven: Seriously.
Starfire: If I go too long without, I may fail to absorb the calcium or the magnesium through my intestines.
Raven: Calcium…? Wait, you are talking about Vitamin D!
Starfire: Of course. Lacking of the vitamins could hurt my squeedlyspooch.
Raven: Oh, phew! For a moment there-
Starfire: That is why I suck so many of the cocks each and every day.
Raven: SUCKING COCK DOES NOT PROVIDE VITAMIN D!!!
4909956
*SPITTAKE*
4909972
They lost me at "Fuck Batman".