Monster in the Twilight Reloaded (well, re-edited) · 1:08am Oct 27th, 2017
(Tragic Kindergarden by Fongsaunder, an amazing artist)
Just to let you know a few things: Fongsaunder is an amazing artist who I found by accident (see above), The Education of Clover the Clever by Daedalus Aegle is now complete (unless there's another bonus chapter), and The Monster in the Twilight has now been fully edited from top to bottom, thanks to Mitch H who provided assistance, and Modoc who is doing a machine reading of this later, and caused me to hurry up and actually fix some of the things that had been bugging me about it for years. In particular, the footnotes have been tidied up, the grammar fixed, a number of 'as' phrases cleaned (Thanks, Pascoite), and some logical holes plugged, like where did Miss Smartypants go near the end of the story, and just *why* Celestia decided on Trixie as a student (below the break, Trixie's first death-defying escape).
(In the second chapter)
There was nothing left to do here. The rubble was silent as a tomb, with the only sounds being Twilight’s parents sobbing along with the Lulamoon’s. Celestia wanted to go console them in their hour of grief, but was afraid. Immortals were not supposed to be touched by death, no matter how much she hurt inside. Without a daughter of her own, Celestia could never understand their own pain. How it felt to lose a part of your own flesh and blood to the machinations of an ancient monster who fed the fires of her regret with the lives of their children.
Trust in Harmony.
They had been Starswirl’s last words to Celestia before he had vanished, words that she clung to during times of great sorrow and pain. The old unicorn shook off trouble like a wet duck, never daunted by adversity or discouraged by failure, and always there when or where he was needed. There had been something of his mannerisms about the Lulamoon child that had sparked Celestia’s whimsy during the preparations for the test, a quirk that also reminded her of Luna and the way she used to speak louder whenever she was afraid. All it took was a few quiet words, and Trixie’s name had appeared unexpectedly on the final list. At the time, Celestia had rejoiced in her heart. Trixie’s cries of joy were so much like the first time Luna had raised the moon.
And now the sun had killed her.
Trixie had not been inside Shining Armor’s shield spell when the building collapsed, and nopony knew where she had gone. Both her body and the baby dragon were likely buried under tons of rock and rubble in the remains of the tower, if not vaporized without a trace by the lash of stellar fire that had melted granite like butter. Celestia’s greatest and her most unlikely candidates to save Luna, both slain by her incompetence.
She bowed her head in the direction of the rubble and Celestia released her iron control long enough for one tear to fall in memory of them both.
She paused.
There was a spell being cast inside the rubble.
It was a weak and gentle tingle of power, felt through her hooves more than horn, almost as if the source were directly beside her. Celestia released her magic gently, watching it flow across the broken stone blocks as a soft golden fog until it swirled and coalesced around the base of two huge stones that had fallen against each other.
With the most delicate of magical touches, she bent down to the gap between the stones and unwound the invisibility spell, feeling the touch of hope once again in her heart as the contents were revealed. A small blue filly was wrapped almost all the way around the baby dragon with both of them tightly tucked into the shallow niche which had saved their lives.
“Trixie,” she whispered with relief. “It’s safe now. You can come out.”
The trembling little filly shook her head vigorously, and whispered back without opening her eyes. “Spike and I are hiding.”
“Don’t you want to show your parents your new cutie mark?”
Trixie gasped, staring at the crescent moon and wand mark on her flank. “Spike! I got my cutie mark! Momma! Papa! Look at me!”
Princess Celestia felt a lurch in her chest at the glittering star-topped wand and crescent moon of sparkles on Trixie’s flanks, so much like the stars and the moon obeyed her own sister. It was a stroke of fantastic luck that the little filly had managed to find the only place in the falling stones where she and the dragon would not be crushed.
Where skill and power was unable to save Luna, perhaps luck was the answer.
“Trixie Lulamoon, you have a very special gift. Most adult unicorns could never cast an invisibility spell on themselves. But you need to learn to tame your abilities through focused study.”
“I don’t like to study,” said Trixie with a defiant grin. “Uncle says I’m a natural.”
Even more like my sister than before.
“Well, then. How would you like to become my personal protégé at the school?”
“Can I keep Spike?” The young unicorn filly still had not released her vice-like hold on the baby dragon, as if she were afraid he would vanish into thin air without physical contact.
“Most certainly.” Princess Celestia smiled down at her new student, trying not to cry.
Deep within the Everfree Forest, a small broken creature crawled under a bush and cried in her stead.
Now I have re-read the entire story for the nth time!
Damn! Thanks for reminding me how much I love Trixie as Celestia's student in your verse. Now I got to reread the whole thing again. I was deep into the Lunaverse at the time I read MITT the first time, so the comparisons were apt, and funny, if only to me.
Is it just me, or does that picture look like sad Cthulhu-Twilight?
All that just to make my heart break for little Twilight!!!
That scene made me cry the first time, and it's even more poignant now.
I can't wait to re-read all of this again.
Reread it, still good 😊
Do NOT make me re-read this! I'm warning you! I have too many stories in my queue as it is! STOP IT!
4795249 Well, it's not *that* much improved. I just noticed that I'm still getting 100-200 chapter reads a day on the story, and thought I should clean it up, because to be honest some chapters were really rough. Oh, and I found a place for the Urlock.
I should go through Letters sometime and do a floor to ceiling cleanup too. Monster is going to rise up above her fears in the next arc, and return to Canterlot:
As I climb, ever upwards, thunder fills my mind to overflowing, the reverberating crash and smash that is left after the lightning-stroke. It shakes me to my hooves, carried to every small part of me by the hammering of my heart. I cannot speak for fear of releasing its divine fury, but concentrate with all my strength against it, the bite of lightning on my tongue and the whirl of a hurricane on my breath. The smallest flaw in my defenses and I shall be spun away into the sky, a leaf on the wind helpless against the might of the mountain.
This is the place where I was born, from sky-fire and fear, warped and twisted into near destruction by my weakness. I must be stronger than its granite, more powerful than its light and darkness, adamant against the forces that would tear me asunder. This shall be the least of my tests, for I have grown far beyond the small and weak thing I was, though I still carry the gaping flaws which undid me, flensed ever-wider by the passing of time.
Hear me, Canterlot! You have not defeated Twilight Sparkle, only set my hooves upon a different path to your summit. Throw me down, dash me against your stones, and I shall only rise up, stronger than before, until you yield to my assault. I no longer fear you, for you are a mere stone, and I—
With changes suggested by Murcushio (see email)
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/119399/Murcushio