News Archive

  • 3 weeks
    SA Reviews #116

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Sitting on a rock surrounded by debris, Intern typed away furiously on a laptop lying on his lap. Being so engrossed in his work, he failed to see a figure march up to him. The figure cleared his throat, but didn’t get a response. Next, the figure lightly tapped Intern on the shoulder but still didn’t get a reaction.

    The figure finally settled on slapping Intern on the back of his head.

    “Hey!” Intern squawked indignantly. “I’m trying to work here.” Looking up, he found a man he didn’t recognize staring impatiently down at him. The man was dressed in a finely pressed suit and carried a briefcase. “Can I help you?”

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    7 comments · 3,228 views
  • 5 weeks
    SA Reviews #115

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Corejo stepped into Ferret’s office, hands clasping a manila folder behind his back.  “You wanted to see me?”

    Ferret sat at her desk beneath the light of a single overhead lamp.  She wore a see-through green visor and worked hell on a roller-print calculator.  The chu-chug of the calculator filled the air as it spit out what were probably forged tax return numbers.  Hard times were upon us now that the movie sucked away most of our reader base.

    She rolled her stogie from one side of her mouth to the other.  She didn’t bother looking up.  “Your reviews.  Don’t forget, I need them by tomorrow.”

    “You called me down here to remind me to do my reviews on time?”  Corejo smirked, taking slow, meaningful strides toward her desk.  He flopped a manila folder on her desk.

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    11 comments · 3,699 views
  • 7 weeks
    SA Reviews #114

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Intern burst open a door, startling the Angels gathered inside sitting next to a poker table, and causing many to drop their cards.

    “Hey, I was about to win that hand!” Cynewulf yelled.

    Intern ignored her. He cast a quick glance over their confused and concerned faces, scowled, then slammed the door shut. He stomped towards the next door and threw it open much the same way he did the first. Long past the point of caring, Intern once again looked over everybody inside the room. At last, sitting towards the back in a darkened corner, he found his target.

    Waltzing in and brushing past anyone in his way, Intern loomed over the figure that was furiously scribbling away on a piece of paper.

    Intern reached over and flicked the on switch for the light.

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    4 comments · 2,960 views
  • 9 weeks
    SA Reviews #113

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    "What's that in your mouth?"

    "It's a pipe," said Cyne, and jabbed the briary thing at Archonix from her comfortable chair by the fire, that flickered low and dark, and smoked more than a thoughtful philosopher at three in the morning when the rain is scattering drops in careful patterns across dust-rimed windows.

    Archonix raised his eyebrows. "And it comes with all that prose for free, does it?"

    Cyne clomped her teeth around the pipe and glared at Archonix. "You smoke one as well, you donkey."

    "Only when I'm trying to write reviews," said Archonix. "And that's discrimination that is."

    Cyne didn't answer, preferring to stare into the fire and to think long thoughts, something entirely alien to Archonix on the best of days. They sighed in unison.

    ROUND 113

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    4 comments · 4,608 views
  • 11 weeks
    SA Reviews #112

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The low-lying fog obscured the two ponies’ hooves as they tramped through the ancient graveyard. Luna’s moon hung in the early autumn air, burning a sickly yellow.

    “I hate graveyards, Ferret,” Intern said as he tightened his rucksack. He spluttered as he walked through a dangling cobweb.

    Ferret chuckled, and hopped over some brambles. “Watch where you step, you never know when—”

    There was a click underhoof, and a grasping griffon claw burst from the loam beneath the pair. Intern leapt back, cursing. Ferret laughed, and plucked the padded foam prop from its spring.

    “Why are we even here, Ferret? That new kid, Novel-whoever, is pretty good. This is a waste of our time.”

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    6 comments · 4,686 views
  • 13 weeks
    SA Reviews #111

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “You do the honors.” Ferret’s eyes glittered in the darkness of the ancient laboratory. The ancient portal glowed with unholy violet energy, illuminating only the barest hints of her figure and the shaking person beside her.

    “Me?” Chris protested, stepping back from the portal and glancing at the giant hourglass festooned with twinkling geodes, flashing bulbs and enough copper wire to build a Faraday cage. “I’m not touching that thing! It looks like something Lovecraft and Jules Verne made on a bet! A very drunk bet!”

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    25 comments · 4,042 views
  • 14 weeks
    SA Reviews #104

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Methodical fingers fell on the keyboard. Ticks and clacks and tacks echoed through the dreary cubicle halls of the corporate office space. Bleary-eyed and coffee-deprived, Matthew sat in front of the screen with the lethargic determination of the recently dead. The computer monitor, though searingly bright, was comparatively dim to the fluorescent lights that flickered on the ceiling.

    Then Red showed up holding a squirrel-sized newspaper and a human-sized coffee mug, which was full of assorted nuts. He slugged a mouthful down and barely chewed.

    “Ha ha ha!” the squirrel said. “Turns out Pontchartrain really did track mud in the house! I love that comic.”

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    18 comments · 4,040 views
  • 22 weeks
    SA Reviews #108

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Archonix strolled through the second floor hallway of the Seattle’s Angels Secret Underground Base and Treefort.  He licked his thumb as he leafed through a stack of papers, humming Winter Wrap Up in a most Scottish manner.  Without looking up from his work, he stopped and rapped his knuckles on Corejo’s bedroom door.

    “Hey, Core, you in there?  We need your reviews.”  No answer.  Archonix looked up at the dozens of Luna pictures taped haphazardly to the door.  ‘No Celestias allowed!’ read a small poster board stuck in the middle in glued macaroni and glitter.  The light of a computer monitor escaped through the crack beneath the door.  “Core?”

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    6 comments · 1,667 views
  • 24 weeks
    SA Reviews #107

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
     


     
    Briefcase in hand, Chris nervously entered the room.  It was bare except for an imposing desk and a high-backed office chair, the latter with its back to him.  “Um, hello?  I’m here about the interview.  Ah, about becoming a Seattle’s Angels reviewer?”
     
    “So, you’re the new guy, eh?” The voice came from the chair.  Chris watched as it slowly swiveled to face him, revealing a diminutive rodent perched upon it.
     
    “Um, yeah, pleased to meet you.”  Chris held out his hand, a gesture met with an arched eyebrow.  “Right, squirrel, sorry.” He awkwardly brought it back to his side.  “So… you must be RedSquirrel, right?”  The rodent’s other eyebrow joined the first.  “Oh, uh, I guess that’s a silly question.”
     

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    13 comments · 1,998 views
  • 26 weeks
    SA Reviews #106

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
     


    A lone figure wrapped in furs lay flat, exhausted, at the world’s jagged edge.

    She had done it. She had traversed numerous kingdoms and broken empires, fought immeasurable hordes, raised kings and humbled the proud, become a legend. She had seen things you people wouldn’t believe--attack ships off the shoulders of Orion, C-Beams glittering in the dark ‘round the Tannhauser Gate, the Walls of Morning and the Wailing Plains of Night. All these things, now so infinitesimally small with her final goal in sight. Just a few more stairs. Just… just a few more.

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    0 comments · 2,181 views
Jul
22nd
2017

Story Reviews » SA Reviews #109 · 2:07am July 22nd

Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


Matthew stood next to a metal door labeled “The Cool Room”. He had never seen this door before; not surprising since the Seattle’s Angels compound tended to lose and gain random rooms with astonishing frequency. He made a mental note to complain to the guys running the relativity lab to dial it back a bit.

Pushing back those thoughts for later, Matthew grabbed hold of the handle to the door, turned, and pulled the door open. A rush of cold air blasted him, almost knocking him back. Matthew, now wishing he had brought a coat, braced himself and entered.

Inside could only be described as a Winter wonderland. Despite being in the dead of July, the temperature fell below freezing, allowing snow to accumulate everywhere and icicles to hang from the ceiling. Mounds of snow, what Matthew could only guess were covered chairs and tables, dotted the room. It was dead silent, though Matthew could have sworn he heard the faint sounds of jingle bells somewhere in the distance.

“Sup?”

Matthew yelped and dove away from the voice, hiding behind a snowmound.

“Whoops, didn’t mean to scare ya.” Intern came into view from behind a snowman, holding a handful of snowballs in the crook of his arm. “You here for the reviews?”

“Uh… yeah…” With his heartrate coming back down, Matthew came out of his hiding spot. “Why are you in here? And why is it so cold?”

“Well, it is the Cool Room.”

“It’s freezing, not cool!”

“Believe me, where I come from, this is mild.”

Matthew waved Intern off. “Whatever. You got them done, right?”

“Yep! Here they are.” Intern held up a snowball. Before Matthew could ask what he meant, Intern threw the snowball at a monitor built into the wall. The ball struck true, activating the screen.

ROUND 109


Ahhh, yes. The land of Equestria. A magical land of...ponies, really. There are also a few other degenerate races but they are largely unimportant. Who gives a damn about dragons and griffons anyway.

A land in which the rulers do nothing but eat cake and sit on their butts, their guards are more incompetent than a toddler, the police is non-existant and a group of 6 teenagers enforces local law and order in the entire country.

Because upkeeping a police force costs money. Money that would end up not being spent on cake. And no ruler can rule without cake. Especially not if they have a sun on their butt.

Or if they're called Marie Antoinette, but that's a different story...


Well, boodlefutz, I have no words. Really, Twilight stole all the books in Equestria, I have no words. Except for those I am writing, though, because she had intervention before she could get to these.

Anyway, I would name this one of the most well done random story I have read on this site. It doesn’t use randomness as cheap comedy, it actually is random in its ideas. And, the main six are pretty spot on for the earlier seasons, despite this being written recently.

Oh darn, TSparks is here for my words, RUUNN!!

We open up to an odd one, that’s for sure. Five out of six of the main ponies get a tip that all the books in Equestria are gone. Considering there’s only one main character pony missing, it’s pretty easy to identify the culprit.

What follows is a bit of a mind trip that doesn’t end until the story does. The fic is very self aware of itself, so expect referential humor and a dash of fourth wall breaking. It’s not overbearing in its meta humor though, as there are plenty of stretches where the characters get to be themselves.

A little heavy on the telly for my liking, but with this type of story I can let it slide. There’s enough going on that it doesn’t become a huge issue.

So yeah, start the night off with some randomness! Randomness helps loosen a body up.


A.K. Yearling, known as Daring-Do in the world of explorers and adventurers, and her friend Leaf Wind are assigned a task by Princess Luna to travel to Saddle Arabia and search for an ancient and presumed destroyed library. What they discover beneath the shifting and sweltering sands may very well redefine the history of Equestria, it might even possibly define its future. One thing's for sure, though, Leaf and Daring's relationship will never be the same.


So, I actually suggested this on a whim because RT said he liked adventure stories. And then he said yes to it. What I failed to tell him, was this is mostly a romance centered around an adventure… and that it’s part of a much, much larger universe called The Wonderverse. No, really, it’s a HUGE universe.

Daring Do and Leaf Wind are quite the couple, though, and if you like romances, then this will be as great for you as it was for me. Daring struggles with forming relationships beyond anything work-related, while Leaf Wind, clearly in love, gets yelled at a lot. Like, that’s all I remember of him.

So, yeah, I can think of nothing else to add that RT hasn’t… so, have fun reading this. Oh, and read the other Daring Do stories connected with this one.

I like adventure, so when I was asked to go over this I got excited. It stars Daring Do, the posterchild for adventure! What I got though was a bit of a bait-and-switch. There is adventure and world building to be found, but a good portion of this story is a romance.

Now, if you’re into this kind of stuff, then it’ll be just fine. Daring Do and her off and on again partner make for a cute couple, with lots of good natured back and forth jibbing. I liked that Daring goes through an arc that forces her to consider what’s more important: working alone or forming a more permanent bond. Personally, I grew a little impatient with the romance and wanted to get back to the adventure. Luckily, it starts picking up again in the final third.

The story is written in present tense, which may take a page or two to get accustomed to. It’s not a big issue, as I was able to shift my mind from past tense to this fairly quickly.

The fic is part of a larger work by the author, so if the ending leaves you wanting more, go ahead and check out his other stories and get the full scoop!

This one might take some time to grow on you. Give it a chance and see where it might lead.


Starlight's teleportation skills are becoming very impressive. There's just one little problem: she doesn't seem to be able to go anywhere without coming to a rather sticky end. Okay, not end exactly. But definitely sticky.


Well, time for some silliness, because RT and I both enjoy it. I read this one awhile back, and reviewed it… but don’t read that, please, I was terrible at such things then.

Anyway, I can only tell you a few things without ‘spoiling the milk.’ And those are, wherever Starlight teleports, she ends up covered in custard. What follows is shenanigans as Starlight and Twilight attempt to find the cause.

So, go and read it. Right now. I mean it, right now.

Back to the silly again, this time with Starlight. The concept is pretty simple: Whenever Starlight teleports, custard happens. So she seeks out Twilight’s help to solve it.

What results are more confectionary shenanigans with a zing to end it on.

Yep, that’s all I got. Explaining more would ruin the joke. It’s a quick fifteen-hundred words so dive in like it’s a vat of giant pudding!

Oh, wait, that was Trixie’s thing… Write that one too!


Twilight takes Moondancer through "The Chalice of Moonlight" via Haycartes' spell.


You know, I always wondered what Twilight did when she was teaching Moondancer the Hacartes’ Method, and this one is as good a headcannon as any I’ve seen. Wait, it’s the only one I’ve seen.

The premise is that everypony interprets a story differently, or, at least, they should if the story is any good. But, further than that, your opinion of a story might change depending on how involved you get and how many times you read it. I have experience of this myself, but that’s for a different time. An example in Paper Moon is how Moondancer and Twilight differ in opinion about the relationship of the main characters. Another, is mentioned by RT below.

But back to the review. I really feel like this is a lesson many people need to know, I’m sure you know some of those I am speaking about. So, I have a challenge for you... when you finish this one, spread the word.

Twilight Sparkle keeps her promise to Moondancer about teaching her the Haycartes' spell and the two venture into a classic story that both are familiar with. The spin on this is that using the spell does more than just transport a pony into a paper book, it also imparts knowledge from the characters they are taking the place of. Not only that, but it also allows opinions from other ponies using the spell to spill out a tad, making scenes that are familiar seem just a little bit different.

The concept here is that other people interpret works differently. For instance, Moondancer envisions the ruler of the dear people taunting the heroes of the story when she first read the book. Now, the ruler comes across as more curious and intrigued that two earth ponies have come this far to meet with him and still need to venture on. It’s a fascinating look into how biases and expectations can color one’s interpretations. Kinda wish we had that in our world. Perhaps VR technology will get us there?

One thing I need to mention that amused me to no end is that Moondancer is a shipper. Not going to expand upon that. Just like Twilight and Moondancer, you need to hop in and find out!


“So why did you make this place so cold, anyway?” Matthew asked.

Intern shrugged. “Eh, a little nostalgia. Plus, the cold fusion lab left a whole bunch of pipes lying around, so I thought, ‘Why not?’ and hooked them up from their reactor to this room. Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“If you’re a polar bear, I guess.”

“Hey, with the stuff the cosplayers are cooking up down the hall, we could make that happen.”

“Yep, I’m done here.” Without a single look back, Matthew turned around and marched out the door.

“Hey, if the fusion guys ask,” Intern called after him, “just say that it’s a weather experiment!”


Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!

Report Wanderer D · 4,526 views ·
Comments ( 13 )

Cold fusion. Really, really cold fusion. Because when things get cold, they stick together. :pinkiehappy:

1st time I honestly enjoyed a site-wide blog. Here, have an ember 🔥

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

>Starlight Repeatedly Teleports Into Custard

I'm so chuffed XD

4608729
I believe you're thinking of cold welding.

Congrats to matty for joining SA. :yay:
Also belated congrats to Chris. :heart:

4608950
Matt's been here a while :derpytongue2:

4609010
Okay. Wasn't immediately obvious given the amount of implications that this was his first job.

4609073
>implying I wasn't just teasing you

"...a weather experiment"? From now on I'll have to picture the Intern as Doc Brown.

Good grief, never thought I'd see that in here! I suppose I'll have to write the damn sequel I keep promising people now. :derpytongue2:

4608771
Well, that's one word for it. :pinkiecrazy:

4609073
I know I'm late to this, but that's because I'm on vacation.

Anyway, click this right here to get my first job, though I did join SA two rounds before that came out. (Those first two were claimed already).

Then Chris joined us a week or two after I did.

(And thanks for the congrats :twilightsmile:)

Oh geez, I didn’t even realise y’all covered my story here. Thanks a ton! Glad you guys liked it :yay:

Comment posted by Erikponyman deleted August 26th
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