Fic recs, December 2nd! · 2:42pm Dec 2nd, 2016
Well, I fucked up. Unless I get a major influx of audiobooks in the next week, Moonstone Cup will be happening after the next review blog. :B I've got a bunch of editions planned for the downtime, at least. Now if only I could read the things I'm supposed to...
Head below for reviews of Monsters by RarityEQM, UglyTurnip's You Can't C Me, Rainbow Dash Wants to Spank the Monkey by Sporktacles, and a whole lot more. Also, in case you don't pay too much attention to my reader reviews, be sure to check out DatPoneEnthusiast90 on Youtube, and send her suggestions for stories to read!
H: 1 R: 3 C: 2 V: 1 N: 0
Monsters by RarityEQM
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Genre: Sad
Every night, Diamond Tiara listens to the monsters outside her room.
Scribbler's been doing the anti-bullying month specials for pretty much ever, and I've noticed they're all about Diamond Tiara, sympathetic or no. Not a criticism, just an observation, but I'd like to see more stories about bullying that don't involve Diamond or Silver. Bonus points if they don't involve the CMCs either, Babs included. Anyway, as bullying fics go, this is far and away one of the best I've read. Advanced readers may find the coy dancing around what the obvious "monsters" are a little tiresome, but the sentiments expressed within are otherwise earnest without being maudlin. Diamond is written well as being-a-child, doing things like taking the burden of fixing her family onto herself. Fitting this into canon is a little harder. Filthy Rich has been shown as doting on his daughter to the point of indulgence, so the idea that he is neglectful of her in any way is as believable as it is unbelievable. (It's presented well in context, is what I'm saying.) The mother isn't actually Spoiled Rich, since she hadn't been introduced yet, but that leads me to my other criticism. This was written pre-Lost Mark, so Diamond's still bullying the CMCs, and I wish this had gone just that extra bit to show her applying what she's "learned" from her parents in her daily life. I mean, as it is, it's a perfectly acceptable explanation for why she was the way she used to be, but that would have made it even better. Still, it doesn't go too far, i.e., she doesn't kill herself, which I was expecting. I'm not sure if I could have handled that. D: Overall, more positive than negative in this, and Diamond fans in particular will appreciate the sympathetic view.
Recommended
You Can't C Me by UglyTurnip
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Reading by Savrin Drake
Genre: Crackfic
There's only one hero strong enough to defeat Queen Chrysalis. And his name is…
Main problem with this fic: it spends too long setting up. We didn't need anything before Celestia falls to Chrysalis to be able to place this. But once that's done and the wrestleman crack starts up, it's a load of laughs. If you like memes, or you just want to see a WWE wrestler beat up Chrysalis, this is a hoot.
Recommended If You Like Memes
Rainbow Dash Wants to Spank the Monkey by Sporktacles
Reading by DatPoneEnthusiast90
Even at max volume, her voice could not break through my background noise. That said, the reading was still good. More importantly, and the reason I'm putting her on my list regardless and recommending everyone else do, too: it was animated. I'm not talking Children of the Night or anything, but it's a solid step above "camera roving around still comic". This is something the fandom sorely needs, especially since she seems focused on fanfic. Give her suggestions for stories to read!
Genre: Innuendo
A visit to Ponyville teaches Sunset Shimmer that humans and ponies have very different slang terms.
The main joke is "ponies don't know they're saying dirty things". If this sounds funny to you, then likely you won't be bothered by the copious saidisms, my only real criticism of this story. Fact is, I thought this was a riot, and just when it seemed the joke was starting to wear thin, it gets turned around on Sunset in a way I never would have imagined. Recommended for the juvenile at heart, but nevertheless…
Recommended
The Perfect Cure for the Common Cold by Titanium Dragon
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: Shipping
Half-frozen from helping her animal friends get ready for winter, Fluttershy could use some warming up.
When I saw this story was by Titanium Dragon, my mind said, "Oh boy, here it comes." And maybe I got my expectations way up for a mind-twisting feghoot, but the fact is, I was ready for a joke that never came. And it's not like I don't get what the author was going for, it's just the final line lands, and then there's crickets. "That's it?" That kinda thing.
Vaguely Recommended
The Greatest Story Ever Told by AMVictor
Reading by MasakoX
Genre: Crackfic
Master Gamington-Smythe III meets his favorite characters: Sonic and Rainbow Dash.
This is some beautiful, masterful fucking trolling. It's only incidentally pony-related, being more a Sonic and Channel Awesome fic, but whatever, Rainbow Dash is in it. If you like crack and/or troll fics, definitely don't pass this up. Watch the reading for an extra level of meta!
Troll Recommended
Maud and Boulder by Vanilla Mocha
Reading by Dr. Wolf
Genre: Slice of Life
Maud and Boulder have a heart-to-heart.
So at first, I was kind of bored by this story focusing on Maud and explaining her situation to us like we didn't already know. Then the big reveal comes, and it's so great, I can't tell you about it because it will ruin the whole story. Then there's a second reveal that's just completely amazing and cleverly justifies the otherwise outlandish headcanon this story is based on. Suffice to say, this isn't the greatest story ever told (that's the previous one), but it absolutely worth reading, especially if you like ridiculous and masterfully considered headcanons.
Recommended
Why No One Messes With Celestia by scion
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Genre: Mass Effect Crossover
Celestia's visit to Equestria's first colony world is cut short by an ambush and an ultimatum.
Badasslestia in space? Sign me the fuck up! This is an eminently accessible crossover, first and foremost. I, for instance, know enough about ME to know what a Reaper is, but not what they necessarily do, and this makes a good enough show of their power that Celestia's retaliation totally hits home. Oh god, it's awesome. The writing builds things up matter-of-factly, not giving too much into its own mythmaking, and thereby lets Celestia's actions speak for themselves. The only thing offputting was that the ship's AI is both named Epona and looks like Link's horse. It's like, gee, Billy, how come your mom lets you have two crossovers? But that's really a minor thing. If you like science fiction, don't be put off by the Crossover tag; this is really well-realized, not to mention a lot of fun. :D
Highly Recommended
I lol'd so hard reading You Can't C Me. It was just what the doctor ordered for me at the time.
Sorry to disappoint.
Clearly I need to write a sequel to The Legend of Falling Rocks, Buffalo Brave, just for you.
Glad you enjoyed my story, and thank you for the review.
I'm curious, are you planning on reviewing the sequel, Why No One Messes With Luna?
you know, i used to find the john cena meme funny until i actually watched a couple of pro wrestling things, just to see if it would make the meme funnier.
and then it became HILARIOUS.
4326112
Yes! That has gone into my read-it-now list, for all that said list is very poorly named. :B
Thank you for the review. I'm glad to see you enjoyed it!
4326809
Quite welcome! I'll have to check out some of your other stories sometime. :)
4326563
The Luna sequel needs a bit more knowledge of ME, but not enough to be a dealbreaker. Also as short and has a equally as impressive Badass Princess Luna.