• Member Since 18th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2023


God, I'm so sorry.

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Someone told me to make a patreon · 3:20pm Jun 8th, 2016

So I took a poll and did. (I really hope that's the right link)

I gotta say, I've never seen a more hipstery and circle jerky site. I started a help vid and got five seconds in before I cracked up. The dude in it was the perfect hipster, down to the shitty fake glasses. I looked at their help documentation and it was full of in-jokes and shitty old memes.

Having an account there makes me feel dirty, and I've written gay horse sex.

If you're a normal person and you use normal, non-difficult ways of paying your horse fiction porn writers, send shit from paypal to whatmustibloodydo@gmail.com

Edit: I guess I should make this clear now, since I've already started my descent into the darkness. Donating doesn't do anything but give me money. You don't get perks, you don't get rewards, you don't get a shiny badge (unless patreon gives you one for donating, which it might). So donate if you want to help support me (which is appreciated), but don't feel obligated because you think I'm going to listen to your opinion about where my story should go if you do.

Report whatmustido · 3,345 views · Story: Diaries of a Madman ·
Comments ( 41 )

'since I've already started my descent into the darkness'

The gay horse sex and blood rape I was okay with, but patreon? Truly, we've reached the Heart of Darkness.

Theres nothing about this blog post I don't love.

I may write weird shit, but I have moral standards that I feel obligated to—

God, I can't even finish that. I may be a piece of shit, but I'm not a liar. I just don't want to be associated with that artsy hipster bullshit. If I replace my keyboard with a type writer, someone shoot me.
Not giving a single fuck about what other people think is very liberating.

Hehe, I bet a majority of the people there would get pissy with the description of the site you gave, but you're not wrong.

They can fucking cry about it. That shit was mad ridic, yo.

Honestly il support you just because your story was such a epic journey for me and my favorite story on this site :twilightsmile:

You know, this blog post makes you come off like a jackass.

More please, and do continue to entertain. I look forward to watching the story continue to play out. :twilightsmile:

And I swear, I would greatly enjoy it if Twilight's hinted future marriage ends up being with Navarone, but knowing you, it could somehow wind up turning out to be Celestia or her brother or one of the Waters, for all the certainty of anything I've got right now. :twilightoops:

Two questions:
1. How often will patrons be charged?
2. If you get enough money, will you be able to dedicate more time to writing, thereby reducing the amount of time between new chapters?

Good luck with it, hope it works out. Just hey, if you get enough, remember to bathe in it. Nothing like a money bath.

If people want creative control, they can write their own damn story. There's my two cents.

I'd already have donated, but with no job, that's fairly hard to do consistently. You'll have to settle for no-homo internet hugs. :heart:

One day, when I get a jobbers and pay off that credit card, I'll donate for the SnG factor.

I got a whole three dollars and forty cents from my patreons last month.


I have no clue how patreon works. I assume you can just throw cash at me like I was some kind of low dollar, desperate stripper. I wasn't planning on setting up any kind of monthly thing. But if that's not how it works, I can just figure paypal out and use that instead.

I have a full time job. If my boss tells me to do work (or if tickets come in), I have to work. I'm not optimistic enough to think kindly fan fiction readers will be able to fully support me, so my writing time will be pretty much the same.
What do we have to do to add a little homo to those no homo hugs?
I would pull a full Scrooge McDuck, but I don't want to break any bones.
I'm not a very nice person.


What do we have to do to add a little homo to those no homo hugs?

Add butt pinches. Maybe full gropes while saying 'honk honk' at the same time. I have no shame.

And despite claiming yourself as not a very nice person, you at least have the decency to admit it, which makes you a little nicer than otherwise. Subsequently, you arguably have the potential for redeeming qualities. Congratulations, you can be saved!

Fuck that shit, bruh. Being a dick is easier. It means you don't have to care when you hurt someone.

From my experience with other patreons, I know that you should be able to set it so that it charges weekly, monthly, or for every major post you make.

YOU GOOD SIR, TAKE ONE DOLLAR, I don't have a job, or really any money, so I took a dollar from my friend to donate to you, but this will be the only dollar I can donate for a long time. Will stop donating at end of month.

That is not a thing I am going to do.
Cheers fam
The gun goes between the teeth and angled up, right?
I only followed the will of the poll. You people can only blame yourselves.

but don't feel obligated because you think I'm going to listen to your opinion about where my story should go if you do.

Thank god. I really didn't want to see people requesting sex scenes for $50 or something like that. And I'm glad you don't give a shit what the readers want. A good story is one that people will keep reading, even if they think they don't want to. (I hope that makes sense)

Just for that, im gonna gib ya bout tree-fiddy.

I wouldn't necessarily turn down a commission for a sex scene (depending on a lot of factors), but I (probably) wouldn't add it to the story.

I'm pretty sure you have set some kind of initiator in order to charge people, otherwise no donations will be made. The pledges people make are just promises for them to give you money, they won't be charged unless a specific event occurs. The event could be specific intervals of time, such as every month, or a special creator post. Patrons can cancel pledges at any time too.


Props. Honesty, both to yourself and to others, before all else.

If I replace my keyboard with a type writer, someone shoot me.

Agreed. I can understand that some people might have trouble getting into the right state of mind, but preferring archaic technology means you're either an idiot crowd-follower or an intentional phony. Honest authors use either a free, themable text editor like FocusWriter (which lets you have things like goal-tracking and backspace with your optional typewriter noises), booze/drugs (a popular solution back when typewriters and handwriting were the only options), or costumes/props that they never tell anyone about.

...though I suppose I can sort of understand if they honestly think that all keyboards are built with mushy-feeling rubber dome switches and honestly see that as their biggest problem. (Mechanical switches with tactile feedback like Cherry MX Blue or Brown FTW.) I wouldn't be surprised if at least one person like that exists.


'since I've already started my descent into the darkness'

Don't fight it, you're merely delaying the inevitable. You've already passed the point of no return, you might as well enjoy the rest of the ride! Besides, you're already a firestarter.

I never asked for this...

I was wondering how long it would take.

I do want to say that you seem like a genuinely interesting person in the sense that you're a cool guy... or something.

Though I'm also wondering if you ever checked out "If the Emperor Had" series yet.

I did. It outlived its welcome about ten or fifteen episodes in.

That's too bad. I hope you didn't hate it entirely.

The comments on this blog are absolutely fucking golden :rainbowlaugh:

Well, all I can say is, at the least you can buy yourself a cup of coffee or something and at the most you can buy yourself a shiny new Lambo.

4011138 Neither did I, but sometimes you just have to let go and embrace what you've become.

If you ask people who like you whether or not you should make a patreon, they're going to tell you that you should make a patreon.

How the heck does your patreon works anyway? Can't you just make it monthly donation?

4011138 Well, you sped it up by creating that poll, don't whine.

I really like how you blatantly say that peoples opinions font matter to you.
More people need to take that line of thought.

I'll throw you 20 bucks if you can give me a rough guesstimate (my phone just auto corrected to that... Now I feel dirty) of when the next chapter will be.
I mean, in all honesty, I'll probably throw you a 20 (CAD) regardless, so...

Dont let him fool you, he's actually a damn decent human being.

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