May
6th
2016
Persona EG LTE updated with today's chapter. · 1:21am May 6th, 2016
I strongly recommend all readers read the LTE version of today's chapter, even if you normally don't read the LTE version. There is additional dialogue between Flash and Trixie in the LTE version that is essential, but did not fit in the context of the FiMF version of the chapter.
I am actually considering posting the LTE version of today's chapter to FiMF as an "alternate version" with a big warning at the top, just so readers have the important dialogue at their fingertips without having to go to The Other Version, but that's still up for debate.
Read it. Flash still doesn't win many points to his favor, though. What he did... it is the exact same thing that happened in October.
I liked that Trixie tried to encourage Flash to fix things with Twilight. But I reckon she'd realize how bad he just messed up.
While the additional bit improved things slightly, to paraphrase SFDebris, you don't get credit for not having important things in the main part of the story. I shouldn't have to read a bunch of deleted scenes to say, "Oh, so this isn't a pile of nonsensical horse shit after all." Besides, the scene added doesn't really convince me that some outside force lead to him having sex with Trixie, but that Flash and Shiny are just horny idiots. I feel that whenever you get to the reveal of what's going on, it won't be satisfying or make much if any sense.
3923564 Who says there's anything TO reveal? You're so caught up in this wild assumption that Flash is under some outside influence that you're ignoring the obvious, which is exactly what I've presented: Flash is pissed at his girlfriend and acting like an asshole.
Not everything in a story has to have some convoluted, wild explanation behind it involving supernatural shenanigans. Sometimes, people just do stupid things for stupid reasons.
I admit the extra scene does make things a bit better for Flash, even if it is only slightly. At least when he was done with Trixie she encouraged him to make up with Twilight and his stupid act didn't destroy his friendship with her. But Flash still needs to hope Twilight has mercy on his soul if and when she finds out, or at least doesn't break up with him because I don't see that turning out well for anybody, most of all the two of them.
3923633 Yeah, but there's a limit to what's believably stupid and in-character. Also, since there was a need for additional things and the circumstance are so very similar to what happened with Shining Armor, it appears that there was either some sort of outside force that you're building up to, or what you're doing with the characters is very forced and goes against their characters in a cheap attempt to add drama because you're running out of ideas. You've had three instances of characters cheating on their supposed loved ones for drama. Please don't do that again. Show me you have an idea other than that. I want to like this story, but it seems like you're making it up as you go along with very little forethought.
3923564 These are not deleted scenes.
These ARE the main story.
You're making assumptions.
You're being EXTRAORDINARILY insulting with your "this is horse shit" insinuation.
You've already cast judgment on something you haven't even read yet.
Do you want to try again, or do you want to continue acting like a child?
3923670 You know what? There's a fine line between criticism and being rude and insulting. You, good sir or madam, have crossed it.
And I am especially insulted by that last part about "very little forethought". I have lived and breathed this story since October 2014. It has nearly exhausted me at times. It caused me to suffer a complete burnout last November.
I have multiple pages of notes I've been keeping since October 2014. I have a complete outline of the major events of this story from beginning to end. So for you to sit there and say something like that, when you don't know how Zef and I have both suffered and slaved over this almost six hundred thousand word story?
Go to hell.
3923678 Was this posted on the Fimfiction version? No.
Were they important? I would say yes.
Did I read them? Yes.
Did I find it having this part improved the story? Yes, but not by much.
I personally found that this part should have been in the fimfiction version since this set up what's supposedly a major bit of characterization. It's something that the fimfiction version should have to help make the story make sense. If the part was in the fimfiction version, it would have probably been better received. The LTE version is basically an extended cut of what's on fimfiction, essentially making the part not included a deleted scene.
3923685 I'm sorry that you have suffered, and I do really want to like this story, but I simply find the some of the most recent developments and decisions in your story are ones I've found to be poor.
3923697 That's your opinion, and you're entitled to it. What you are not entitled to is the way you've behaved in this thread.
3923698 I admit, perhaps I was a bit harsh with what I said, but my bottom line is that missing this piece hurt the story and it's inclusion would have helped immensely.
3923702 Which is why, if you'd bother to read the blog post itself:
Zef and I have both been having stressful evenings, which is why I took your comments with a shorter fuse than I usually would. Now that I've had a few minutes to recompose myself, let me explain a few things.
1. The LTE version is the definitive version of the story, and has been ever since its inception as a separate entity. Every reader who has been around since the beginning knows this and does not question it.
2. The reason there are two separate versions of this story is threefold. In part, it has to do with rules compliance (once upon a time, this story was rated Teen, not Mature). Once I upped the rating, that was no longer an issue, but I still wanted to allow readers to have the option of reading a version of the story that lacked explicit content, which is why I didn't fold everything back together. The third reason is more of a conceit to the source media--the Persona games, which habitually have a plain vanilla version, and a later release with additional content that is ultimately considered the "definitive" version of the game.
What this all boils down to is that the LTE version is always considered as the true version of this story, and supercedes the FiMF version wherever the two differ. The FiMF version is by no means an incomplete story, and any reader unwilling to read the LTE version shold be able to take the same experience away from reading it as one who is reading the LTE version. However, occasionally, the LTE version does contain significant character development scenes which do not appear in the FiMF version. These scenes are meant to give depth to, and enhance, the reading experience, not to detract from it.
Now, as to your core complaint--that I'm using the same drama of a cheating character over and over again--did you ever stiop to think that maybe there's a reason for that? That maybe there's a point I'm trying to make about the human condition, or about people who make the same mistakes despite having been burned by other people making those mistakes? THAT is the point to all this. THAT is the statement here. THAT is why Flash explicitly stung Twilight with the "I'm not Cadance" barb and then did exactly what Cadance used to do.
If you would stop and think, carefully, about why things are being presented the way they are and why the same mistakes are being made again and again, instead of sitting there and complaining that I've obviously run out of ideas because I just keep writing about unfaithful philanderers, maybe you'd understand what I'm going for with this.
3923719 I would like to say that you have some fair points. While I find the LTE's way of showing Flash's anger towards Twilight was a bit better and not including some of it in the fimfiction version was a mistake, it's just my opinion.
So, I read the LTE and, while I had fun looking up hyperbolic reactions to what Flash did for the FIMF version, it was nice to shed a little more light on his train of thought. I know this might frustrate you, but I DID feel like the story needed to point out explicitly what was going through Flash's head when he did what he did. While I believe there's still a chance to make things right (even if that's up to you), I still fear the worse is yet to come, but at least he has some sense of clarity on what he did being wrong. Plus, I did enjoy the extra time with Trixie. I was curious whether something like that would ever be brought up.
So where is this lte version I might ask?
3925990 On my personal website.
3926246
When's the next chapter going to be released? I personally thought last chapter was well written.
3949466 It'll be out when it's out. Probably toward the end of the week. From now on, always refer to the writing status update section on my userpage, which lists the approximate release dates of upcoming material.