Hap Recommends Scribblefest #7: Take With Food · 4:33pm Mar 14th, 2016
Like I mentioned in my last one of these, I've stopped reading through three at a time because I've been getting much busier, and will only be reading and giving my thoughts on stories that either get requested or recommended to me directly. So there's only going to be one story in this one, I'm afraid.
Take With Food was requested by the author, so I decided to give it a look in-between lectures. If anyone else has something they'd like me to take a look at, feel free to comment below. With that, onto my thoughts.
Take With Food, by Norm de Plume
I didn't find I had significant issues with this story, as it ticks about every box I have for a solid read. However, I do also feel it didn't go too far to make itself feel like a really good story, and instead coasts around 'all right' quite comfortably. It has a nice premise (bringing together the Shadowbolts from EG, the Sirens, and Sunset and her friends), some rather nice creativity (turning magic into food) and some rather nice characters too (I found myself liking pretty much all of them, aside from the Sirens).
I think the main reason this story didn't go from satisfying me to impressing me is because it didn't throw any interesting twists along the way. The story is a bit like Sunset saying 'lets do this' and then they talk a bit, go to do it, and then succeed. Nothing really changed halfway through, so the conflict was present, but simple. I suspect this might have come from word limit restrictions.
Even so, I think I enjoyed this story more than a lot of others I've looked at for Scribblefest since there was actually a persistent conflict, a challenge, and a resolution, without any glaring problems to get irritated at. I think it's a solid read, with enough creativity to get you thinking and enough conflict to be more than just 'here's an idea, think about it for five minutes' like a lot of stories of similar length would have done. Additionally, how it brings in elements from all three movies is rather impressive.
I understand my thoughts are probably a bit underwhelming, essentially leading up to me saying 'it was okay, but could have been cooler' (speaking as a terrible RD fanboy), which is a bit of a passive-aggressive thing to say, but I think I stand by it. Really, I don't think this story does anything wrong, but I do think it could have done more right to amp up the tension, stakes, and make it a bit more complex. However, I also have to confess that doing so would be incredibly difficult without upping the word count, so I find it very, very hard to get really nitpicky at this story for that.
Recommended to: Pretty much anyone who likes Equestria Girls. This story features characters from all three movies and plot points from every movie, and is rather diligent about including a lot of different elements from the universe. It does nothing that I think would significantly turn anyone off, so if you want to read a short story that uses Equestria Girls rather well, I'd say go for it. I personally reckon the author is going for the Twilight Award, and out of all the ones I've seen so far, I reckon it has the best chances of winning that one. But that's just my opinion.
That's my thoughts on this story. If anyone else has any recommendations, do post them below! TTFN.
Nice single review, Hap! I was thinking of reading it myself, and still might. It at least sounds like an interesting premise. I did another round of two yesterday, if you're curious.
3807507 It was a rather nice premise. If you're interested, I'd still recommend it.
Thanks, Hap. I appreciate the look!
It was the same problem I had last year. My concepts tend to go *big*, and so the wordcount limits can't handle the breadth sometimes. Also, I did write it in about a week, having just finished a fic I had been working on for more than 15 months. So things do get lost when you write quickly.
If anything, I probably would have sacrificed a bit of the Shadowbolts for a little more R&D, but I love me some Crystal Prep troublemakers and it was my first time writing them, so I erred on the 'fun' side.
3807864 I actually got told off last year for going above the word limit. I had to bring it down a tad.
This year, too, I think my word count is very similar to yours, so I feel ya, broseph.
3807867
Oh, Lord, last year I had to knock about 200 words out of Mirror Left Blank before they'd take it. I have to revisit that someday and make it into a proper puzzle.
Got in another round of three here. Not sure if I'll do more, but I tried to get some that you hadn't done. Guess we'll know the results in a week or two.