Sneak Peek - Mount Olympus · 7:52pm Mar 11th, 2016
Yeah, I'm still working on a clever title. I have a clever intro, though.
At one time, Mount Olympus was the home of the Greek gods. Then they let the first pony in.
There goes the neighborhood
Sneak peek below the break:
FYI: If you're a fan of Greek gods and want to help, drop me a line. I must warn you though, Funny > Accurate
In summary, this will be a little like If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, only with Greek gods and ponies. If you peek hard (but not too hard) you may see a few familiar background ponies. Look, there's one playing a lyre. Let's watch.
Mount Olympus - Pony Style
Snippet
* Ω *
“Some gift,” said Zeus as he looked out across the garden. The construction ponies had not only completed it ahead of schedule, but used the initial plans as a starting point for much more. A thin silver stream gurgled and bubbled around the edge of the garden in long, slow curves between hedges and rosebushes, while a pebbled pathway wound its way through the flourishing flowers and bushes. There was even a small sweeping footbridge in the middle of the garden next to a bubbling fountain and a bench, on which a pony strumming a harp provided a gentle musical counterpoint to the noises of nature. It was a pure place of absolute beauty that he had deliberately stepped out of his sandals to walk through with his bare toes in the pebbles and short grass. It was, in a word, perfect, particularly for Hera Allmother, who he could plainly see at a window high in the mansion where she could look down into the garden and see every single shaded corner and niche where a young goddess could be tucked away for some private attention.
He wandered over to the bench and sat down, trying to determine if he should be pleased or discouraged by the magnificent gift and the way in which it had been given. It was a decision which require much thought, and the environment of the garden was the perfect place to do it. He relaxed with his bare feet out in the short-cropped grass and enjoyed the occasional droplet of water that escaped out of the burbling fountain, but the mood of the area was far too dark for his taste. He turned to the pony sitting on the bench besides him, and was almost ready to tell him to take his lyre and begone when Zeus noticed two things. First, the mortal pony was female, with a coat the of soft green the color of new-mown grass and a smaller fluted horn, much like Celestia.
Second, she was crying.
Trails of wet tears trickled down her cheeks as she stroked the lyre with all the delicacy and care of a lover embracing her beloved. Her lips moved along with unspoken words while she played, and even Zeus could feel his massive heart twinge in sympathetic pain as the passion and sorrow of her music enveloped him.
It was Orpheus all over again. If it were not for the fact that Hades had assured him that the blasted musician and his wife Eurydice were profoundly happy in his realm, Zeus would have considered the heathen concept of reincarnation. The notes and unspoken words dragged down Zeus’ soul as the pony played until he was forced to gasp, “Stop!”
“I am so sorry, Great Zeus,” said the pony without missing a note on her lyre. “I cannot stop playing or my heart would shatter like glass.”
“Why?” he managed to gasp while considering just how large a thunderbolt to use on the cursed beast in order not to disrupt the garden she was playing in.
“I sing for my best friend, who I had to leave behind in order to play for you, Great Zeus,” whispered the unicorn. “I would have turned Celestia down, but playing in your gardens is a great honor and a privilege, far beyond anypony has ever been gifted before. My friend, she insisted that I come to your mountain and play, even though she knew I might never return, and she could never join with me here.” She ran her hoof over the strings, coaxing out a stanza of notes that fairly dripped with tears. It was not entirely metaphorical, as most of the nature sprites in the area were sobbing along with every note, making the whole garden feel dismal and much more in line with his brother Hades’ domain.
“Your lover, she is a mortal, I presume,” said Zeus once he could catch his breath.
“We’re friends,” insisted the unicorn. “Very good friends. And yes, she is a mortal, although her beauty could be compared with but not surpassing many of the goddesses on this mountain.”
Obviously, the musician was both talented and smart, because there were at least a half-dozen goddesses who would have shown up in a flash of fire if she had called her lover more beautiful than any of the jealous divine bitches.
Why does a radiant beauty and hot temper always come wrapped in the same package?
“Zeus!” blasted the voice of Hera Allmother across the garden from her perch in the high above mansion window, much as a vulture would crouch during her search for prey. “Are you bothering my new musician?”
“No, Honeybunch!” he called back, still irate at the way the insolent unicorn continued playing without interruption. “We were just discussing how much she misses her good friend and would like to return to the mortal world to be with her.”
“I have to stay,” called out the annoying unicorn. “My destiny is to be here and perform for the greatest of all the gods and goddesses.”
“You want to be with her,” hissed Zeus under his breath.
“I have to stay here,” she sang in return.
* Ω *
Later that evening as Zeus was getting ready to go to sleep, he opened his window and gazed out into the beautiful moonlit garden with the wafting notes of a sad dirge drifting up to his stars.
“Go home!” he shouted.
There was no reply other than the sorrowful notes of her continuing song as Zeus slammed the window closed and flopped down in bed, which groaned beneath the weight of the two mighty rulers of Olympus.
“I don’t know why you make such a big deal out of having a little music out in my garden, Honeybear,” purred Hera, slipping a little closer to her hefty husband.
“I know exactly what’s going to happen,” huffed Zeus. “It’s just like Orpheus all over again. I’m glad I put a thunderbolt into him when I had the chance. She’s going to sit out there and play her heart out, night and day, until she gets me to let her blasted pony friend in to keep her company, and then there will be no end of the pestulant creatures.”
Yeah, you guys can see where this is going.
This is why you have to spray for ponies once a month, they slip in and multiply.
Well, this looks like it's going to be quite a lot of fun. And I am rather familiar with Greek mythology, should you ever want a hand in the matter.
Loving this already!
An excessive infestation of ponies? I advocate getting a man with a couple of ferrets in as being a good solution. They're much better than dogs as they can follow the ponies down their burrows without getting stuck. I'm not sure if there is a God of ferrets, but if there is one I imagine he'd have a Yorkshire accent.
Another solution is to race them, they even come with their own jockey colours, a great saving. All Zeus needs to do is to enter a few for the Cheltenham Festival next Tuesday, they'd practically pay their own way.
Edit: I must say though, I have a wonderful mental image of Zeus opening his window at the crack of dawn, throwing a slipper or two, and shouting "bugger off!" At the milling ponies below.
This is the best paragraph I have ever read in fan fiction. Looking forward to the completed story.
Oh, this is good. I may be a bit rusty on my Greek mythology but I would love to assist if desired.
For instance I spotted a couple super-minor typos such as an omitted "d" and perhaps some repetition of "bubble" and "pebble" in the first paragraph... not that I'm making a bald-faced bid for the proofreading gig or anything.
3803222 Fan, you're one of those annoying people who knows far more than I do on everything, just like Bad Horse and GoH.
(I'll send you a link)
3803356 You must realize that most writers (of which I'm one) do not wait for the hordes of proofreading pedants to storm their walls with pens running red with corrections. We sneak out in the dark of night with baited fanfics flavored with just a few choice and delectable typos, place them within a cage, and lurk around the edges, waiting for a volunteer to wander by, sniff the air, and unwaringly set foot within the trap. (I'll send you a link too :)
Yeah, there's no danger of this getting done before summer. With the in-jokes and subtle references (for Georg's given value of subtle), there's a lot of slow progress that will be done as the Muse visits.
3803332 I'm pretty proud of the timing of the next two lines, too.
And then Celestia gets in a fight with Helios.
Should be fun.
Maybe a pun on prometheus or genesis (or other words the means first) like Ponytheus? Haynesis?
3803191 Almost as bad as Futurama's owl infestation, those ponies are!
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110614173116/en.futurama/images/d/df/Owls.jpg
Edit: Just realized I spoke like Yoda there lol.
3803682 At least the bat-ponies eat bugs, so I hear.
I feel like Hephaestus is going to turn out to be a huge brony.
So, does Pegasus have any opinions in this matter?
3803732 Where do you think all these other pegasi came from? Great-grandpa Pegasus got around.
For every pony you see in the open, there're dozens in the walls
Also:
Should be "pestilent". Often used as "Pestilential nuisances!"
3803367 Well played, you magnificent basCANNON
3803905 Fixed. English is such a pain, but it's the only language I vaguely know.
Allmother? Isn't that a Norse thing?
3805772 "Hera!" bellowed Zeus in a voice that shook the windows in their frames. "Where's my eyepatch?"
"In the top drawer where you left it last!" she bellowed back. "Are you headed off north again?"
"I just need to let off a little steam!" he bellowed back. "There's nothing around here to smite, so I packed some thunderbolts and I'm going to go hammer the mountains for a while. I'll be back late."
"Well, grab something to eat before you go!" she bellowed back. "Stew's almost done."
"Can't it wait? I've got to go harness up the goats to the chariot now or I won't be back before dark." Zeus poked his head into the kitchen where Hera was stirring a huge stewpot. "Oh, no."
"You didn't say you needed them today, and I wanted to surprise you with a home-cooked meal," said Hera, dipping her spoon into the pot and pulling out a bone which the meat had not yet been cooked off yet. "Besides, Tanngnjóstr has always had a limp ever since that you let that mortal cook him. You'd probably get stranded half-way to Hyperborea and have to walk back. Can't we just put the old things out to pasture and use some of Celestia's guards to pull the chariot?"
"No!" bellowed Zeus. "Absolutely not! Never!"
* ✹ *
"It's so nice to see you again, Great Zeus," said Celestia as she lifted a teacup in her magic and reclined on a thick cushion in the unfinished tea room of her growing temple. There were still holes in what would someday be walls and a noticeable amount of fresh paint, but the solar goddess seemed perfectly at home despite the sounds of construction still echoing through the corridors of her temple. "Is there something that we can do for you?"
"I need to borrow two of your guards," growled Zeus.