Fic recs, March 2nd! · 12:14am Mar 3rd, 2016

I am a fat sack of shit. D: As of now, I have done zero writing today (yesterday by this time, I had at least done some fiction-unrelated writing), including editing that story I posted the draft for yesterday. :( I don't think I'm cut out to be a professional writer.

All that aside, anyone know of any artists doing cheap pony commissions? Like, one character, color, no background for 20 bucks max? <:B I don't anything more detailed than the cover art for Whisk.

H: 0 R: 1 C: 2 V: 1 N: 1

The Love of a DJ by Shadowflash
Reading by Captain Sand
Mature: Sex
Genre: 2P Anthro/Human Clop
You’ve just moved in with Vinyl Scratch; can you take your relationship one step further?
Far too often, writers using second-person POV leave their viewpoint characters blank slates, all the better for the reader to insert themselves into the action. This story bravely gives the main character an actual personality; it’s just a shame that personality was more or less what turned me off the story. He’s a possessive, slightly prudish sadsack of a douchebag Nice Guy, and the fact that he and Vinyl end up discussing just why she would hang out with a ‘loser’ like him doesn’t change the fact that she’s still saying “I love you” to a loser. Her characterization wasn’t much better, something of a “standard girl” archetype with flirty bits around the edges. She could have been just about anyone, honestly. (Which would in turn have come without the obligatory “what color are her eyes” line.) And as for the story, for probably the first time ever, I found myself impatient to get to the sex. Sex that was just pretty okay, but then again I did just read Ribbons and Lace, and anything’s going to pale in comparison to that. This whole story feels “standard” is the problem, when it’s actually a treatise on how not to get into a relationship.
Not Recommended

The Bank Job by Eliot Kane
Reading by SolarPony, et. al.
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie Pie robs the Ponyville bank and confounds the Guard in the process.
One thing I think a lot of writers forget about ponies is if they’re doing something serious, like robbing a bank or fighting a war, they’re gonna do it in a silly way. So that’s why Pinkie uses an icing gun in this story and gets hit by a fruit-lobbing sniper. Yes, she knocks a guy out with a baseball bat, but let us not forget, months after the apocalyptic end of season 5, that once upon a time a bunch of settlers on the show tried to drive off a herd of stampeding buffalo with pies. This story is, in short, a ton of fun, and if the second and third scenes lack a bit of the first’s quick-paced what-the-fuckery, it’s still a legitimately funny comedy that’s worth the read.
Recommended

Twilight Gets Stoned and Stares at Her Hoof by Admiral Biscuit
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Pony Does X
I was anticipating, coming into this, that the title was meant to throw off expectations and this would actually be a story about Twilight’s time under the sway of the cockatrice. But it isn’t; the joke is exactly what’s on the label. And I have to say, that left me a little disappointed. I’m glad, for instance, that the final line is the culmination of a running gag — giving this something purposeful to end on — but that gag isn’t all that funny. Nor is anything else, honestly. Usually I find stoner humor to be amusing, but this didn’t so much as get a chuckle out of me.
Vaguely Recommended

Trouble Sleeping by Lurks-No-More
Reading by Captain Sand
Reading by Nightfire5150
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: Sister Bonding
Luna’s first morning in Canterlot is sleepless, thanks to an overdesigned bed.
Either this isn’t the first story I’ve read about Luna being unable to deal with modern beds, or else I read this one a long time ago. Anyway, it’s mostly super-cute Princess stuff, a tad Woona (since she’s S1 and all), but not too much. That said, it’s more a scene than a full story, and there are some imprecisions in the writing. Not enough to ruin the reading, but it might turn off sticklers for whom the concept isn’t enough to justify giving this a chance.
Recommended for Princess Fans

The Zebra’s Verse by Between Lines
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Character Piece
Twilight asks Zecora about herself.
If this story edges up on failing the Zecora Test — and to be sure, horizon invoked its name in the comments — I’m willing to be forgiving (for once) because there’s just so much Zecora dialogue, and most of it works. The main problem was stretching of meter, which, if we’re being honest, irks me less than half- or near-rhymes. But so many authors have spent so much time trying to keep Zecora from rhyming, I’m inclined to give a little slack to one who went for it all the way and made it mostly work. As for the story itself, there’s little here beyond “Twilight finds out why Zecora rhymes”, but her backstory is pleasantly creative, and she throws a few red herrings in just to be cheeky. Not a bad read, all considered.
Recommended for Zecora Fans