Well the Edits are up · 8:03am Jan 26th, 2016
So, edits to chapter 4, 6, 7 and 12 as well as a new retroactive chapter 11 are up for ECQ&tAE.
Reception has been mixed. Some people say it helped, some people say it didn't.
Fair enough, the point of the reedits was not to make Tethys more sympathetic... well yes it was, but to make her sympathetic by making her motivations more clear.
The story's always been about what happens when two really really REALLY different cultures with completely different morality codes collide. The edits were meant to help establish this.
So if Tethys didn't appear more sympathetic, well that's because she was still meant to be a bit monstrous. And she will be monstrous to the end, she's an antagonist and of the type of which I'm not going to turn over to Alternia's side because let's face it, that's boring.
And Alternia as probably expected, can't defeat her the usual way, but at the same time she's trying to be the better pony.
The end result? Well we shall see.
I'd just like to remind everybody that constructive criticism with at least one positive comment or suggestion tends to help me process feedback faster and in a way that doesn't induce vren55 rage XD I mean, I try to be reasonable and if I have appeared any less otherwise, then please tell me how and how I can do better. I mean, feel free to express your opinion, I'm just letting you know I take things more receptively if there's a nice balance. that's just me.
Only if the commentator writes a comment that seems to intentionally enrage me, then I will block, but even then I'll warn them and ask them to reword it in 24 hours. If not then I'll just block and delete the comment or comments in question.
The reason for this policy? I'm a busy uni student whose writing is reliant on emotions and therefore negative emotions impact the quality of future chapters... you know the drill, constructive criticism helps. I want to maximize my efficiency and protect my emotional wellbeing. Frankly, it shouldn't be a problem for most people, as most people who read the story and perhaps have an issue or two with it are great and have expressed it perfectly fine in ways that I can actually swallow.
Recently though the "Read it or Leave it" thing I may have mentioned in my AN notes and in my responses has appeared to cause some rage apparently... well that was mainly to get people to save time if they find ECQ&tAE wasn't their piece of cake.
Put it this way, I'm just a lonely fanfiction author who likes writing stuff and putting it online. If someone doesn't like it, they are free not to read it. If they were a longtime fan... i feel saddened if you don't like it, but I kinda want to write the story I'm writing and the AN note or phrase that said that was meant to try to say "Dude/gal, don't waste your time with expectations that I can't fulfil."
So yeah, I'm sorry if you're one of those who just stopped reading ECQ&tAE because it wasn't your taste. I understand perfectly. It's a rather weird and ambitious story idea that is bloody unconventional.
Keep on having a great day wherever you are.
Sincerely,
vren55
People will of course see this...and continue being prats because I've watched several asnine comments turn into a bunch of assholes circle jerking themselves. Several in story warning and yet we still get assholes like this:
This is the kind of thing Vren's talking about. Note while this poster has a few points, he couches it in whiny, caustic tones. He will most likely justify it as criticism and say Vren can't take criticisms because this is the battle cry of would be critics like this. If you can't make you point without being an ass, something that your parents should have hammered into as part of basic human courtesy, there is absolutely no reason to listen to you. Someone will probably come along and make the same point without making an ass of themselves.
Sadly the basic truth of "If you have nothing nice to say, kindly shut the fuck up." has been lost on so many people. Say it in constructive ways. It's easy.
Mind gaming two clashing cultures and playing it out is definitely an entertaining thing to do or read about. I think one thing that would have improved the story is if you had gone for broke in this regard as far as having them be completely separate and finally colliding after being apart. What I mean specifically is this nebulous treaty/agreement/whatever-it-is-called that the two peoples had. The existence of it and the appearance of the kelpies abiding by it for hundreds or thousands of years makes the two seem not as separated as you are likely intending. I don't think that this agreement does anything other then add reader confusion to an already complex situation.
3713103 Huh....
Huhhh.....
Wow that's something I probably have to consider for any original projects I may be doing.... Great Idea Posted!
A bit late to rework the story ATM though... I'm also not sure if that would have changed the view of the kelpies as monstrous cannibals.. in fact it just may make them more unsympathetic... I dunno...
Guess I can only think of "What might have been."
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I blame the armchair internet reviewers because that seems to be the style this person is trying to emulate.
3713133 He claims he did it to be humorous, but it still looks like he was being insulting for the hell of it to me.
Sucks that you have to jump though hoops like this. I just don't see why people are bitching like they are.
3713395 Don't say they the negative people are bitches changeling khaos. I know some people have some general beef with the story... doesn't me we can be lesser men because they insist on hitting it. I dunno, I have the luxury and the patience to be a better dude, but perhaps they got a terrible childhood or something.
Point is i judge the comment based on what I get. I don't judge the person, or try hard not to.
3713133 Why couldn't more people be like Silver Quill...
3713453 not trying to say there isn't constructive criticism there because there is but damn.
3713463 *smiles sheepishly* this is the life when you get....
XD
At times I do wish I was an unknown author just striking out, but ah well.
Well then...carry on.
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3713484 Agreed!
3713142 Sounds like "It was just a joke!" after punching someone in the face style humour. Rarely funny on the receiving end.
The edits were good i think. I understand the kelpies and their motives better, without really liking them any more.
And since i didn't join in that last blog post, another point from me: I didn't experience the equestrians as completely incompetent in this story or the prequel and only learned that they are supposed to be that way in the blogs/comments, not in the story itself. I also think that theme works way better in a comedy. At least it didn't work here very well. To me the kelpie fights were annoying because i didn't know the equestrians were supposed to be weak, and boring because" next paragraph has kelpies slaughtering ponies, the one after that has kelpies slaughtering ponies, and after that we will see kelpies slaughtering ponies". No real reason for me to root for the ponies when i know they all will lose. Celestias ongoing fight and the knowledge that there is no endless supply of turtles helps though.
Also, the discrepancy of guard incompetence as in the show vs battleships totally different from the show, without any competence/ability/equipment that is expected to accompany battleships. That reads rather weird.
Meh, with all that drama in the comments, this is one of the rare stories were reading them doesn't really add to the fun of the story. Now excuse me, i need to go read something fluffy.
To be honest, I have been waiting for you to build up a few chapters. If it helps I have not read any of the sequel, pre or post edit.
3713467 Oh we posting songs now?
Well, as one of the people who was rather critical of some of the perceived issues, I feel like I should throw my two cents in on how all the edits played out.
On the positive front the new Chapter 11 is quite good. The interplay between Flowie and Brinewing was rather entertaining to watch, with that clash between two cultures. I also have this sinking suspicion I know what kind of new ships Equestria is creating for their navy. It should be really interesting to see how that plays out and if my guess is right.
Chapter 12 is a massive improvement. You still managed to maintain what you were going for, with Equestria going down to a superior foe but it comes across much less one sided curb stomp. Even better, the whole chapter is just a whole lot more fun to read. The action has this flow to it, the actions clearly playing out in my head and it looks awesome in my imagination! Tethys' shape-shifting tricks come across all the more impressive, especially that scene where she goes all Ant-Man to slip into that turret and rip it apart from the inside. And Princess Celestia threw a dragon turtle like a frisbee! And then Tethys threw a destroyer! Tis a very impressive chapter now.
On the negative side though... I'm not sure how well the edits in chapters 4, 6 and 7 work. They have kind of a "floating head" problem, in that they're mostly dialogue. It gives them a floaty, disconnected feeling. Which might have been somewhat unavoidable, considering the time frame you had to do them in.
I still think that selling the idea of kelpies being able to really....make peace with Equestria, is going to be the literary equivalent of climbing Everest in your shorts. On a very cold day. The fact that they eat sapients is hard to work around and while I think I've identified the angle you're going to take in the end (which I won't say here, as to not leave possible spoilers should I turn out to be right in the end), I think that its going to be hard to buy. Admittedly, it might work better when we see it all laid out in the end but right now, call me skeptical.
Chapter 12 was still awesome though!
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On the other hand, I am likely going to be posting a few hundred thousand words to an empty audience for the next year.
3714913 That can be frustrating. I kind of like it though when my stories hovered around the 200-500 rating mark instead of shooting to 2500.
Keep on persisting Appletank. :D
3714913 One more thing, a word of advice Appletank, if you really wanted to get popular, Dark and Crossovers tend to be a rather difficult way to do it
If you like writing those though, keep at it. Maybe you'll be the Eakin and break out the next Hard Reset xD
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Wait, crossover? I think you're looking at the wrong fic. The one I'm currently focusing on is "Diary of the Dead". I'm aiming on a magiteck lich secret club that passes over the course of 1200 years. The Dark thing is mostly because the main characters are a bunch of Dark Wizards, and make some questionable decisions to avoid detection and survive the years.
3714459 That's definitely something to keep in mind... wonder if you will guess correctly.
The Floating dialogue was for the purpose of keeping as much secret, while revealing the minimum of detail. It wasn't a time frame issue, it was intentional to keep everything as shadowy as possible. Guess it did have a drawback though as it is kind of floaty.
As I always post in my author's notes.
"Constructive criticism is appreciated."
Short, sweet, to the point.