The Man, The Myth, The (complete lack of) Mystery · 1:21am Oct 26th, 2015
As a companion piece to my latest story, "From Dat Place to Dis Place", I've decided to compile this NAQ (Never Asked Questions) to enlighten you about the protagonist. I believe you'll find that it adds entire millimeters of depth to a character who is already quite rich (by the standards of undeveloped nations).
How old is John D. Blankslate?
His age is most likely in the range of 15 to 25. (Someone closer to my own age probably introduced him to Krull, Tron, and some other entertainment properties.)
How did he come by his unusual middle name?
Both his first name and his middle name came from his mother's side of the family. Mrs. Blankslate, the former Jen Erica Doe, has a great many John Does in her family, including her older brother, her father, and her grandfather.
Mr. and Mrs. Blankslate made an agreement before young John's birth. If they had a boy, Jen Erica would name him after her brother; if they had a girl, Dick Blankslate would name her after his sister Jane.
Is he overcompensating for something?
What kind of question is that? Of course he's not overcompensating for anything! Maybe you're the one who's overcompensating for something! Have you ever thought of that? Huh, have you?
What's his sexual orientation?
He's straight. He's super-straight. Oh, you better believe he's straight. That stuff he did with his cousin that one summer doesn't count.
Has he had any fighting training?
He's taken some classes in Ti Kwan Leep. He's not very good at it, though; he keeps getting booted in the head.
Does he have anger issues?
Oh, yeah.
But is there anything specific he's angry about?
Whaddya got?
So why does he destroy, then?
Why not?
Should I read Elric's new story if I haven't already?
And even if you have read it, maybe you should read it again just to be sure. And upvote it and fave it and add it to groups and stuff.
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He probably wanted to beat people up right away instead of listening to his sensei.
I grew up with my grandparents, so I was always exposed to all the classics. What I'm saying is... I have something to relate with this character?
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If only he had learned from the example of Ed Gruberman...
Lots of things! You're both carbon-based, both mammals, both bipedal... the list goes on and on.
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I figure the lesson he learned was to get in the first shot. It would explain his decision to straight up murder everything he came across.
3496954 Smartass.
Does he know Anonymous from Not the Hero? And if they met, would they cuddle? Or fight to the death with kewl weapons?!!!
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We are now at depth of teaspoon-rivaling proportion
I doff my hat to you, sir
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Especially those dangerous animals from Australia, like zebras.
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That's a story I still need to read...
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It's like he's a cardboard cutout of a real person, isn't it?