• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Sunday

Elric of Melnipony


Ask your doctor about DERPIPONE(TM)!

More Blog Posts73

  • 171 weeks
    Death From Above

    There has been a trope (I suppose you could call it) in the naughtier parts of the fandom since probably almost the very beginning. It concerns pegasi (and alicorns), and it's absolute nonsense.

    Read More

    5 comments · 327 views
  • 173 weeks
    Hi.

    I'm still alive. I hope that's still true of all of the cool people I've interacted with here over the years, but these days, it's a bad idea to make assumptions.

    How are you? Hangin' in there?

    33 comments · 301 views
  • 230 weeks
    And another thing...

    Some time ago, the possibility of a sequel to one of my fics was threatened discussed. I wrote a couple of segments just now, and we'll see if my muse continues taking me to interesting places.

    8 comments · 311 views
  • 230 weeks
    Some headcanon for you...

    These are ideas I've kicked around, but I'm not attached enough to any of them to want to argue about them. Pick a fight elsewhere.

    Read More

    17 comments · 374 views
  • 360 weeks
    Still a Mess, Still Not Dead

    I hold my hands in front of me
    To block my line of sight
    It seems my eyes are getting tired
    Of staring at the light
    The more I see, the more I feel
    The less I want to know
    If you think too much, you'll blow your mind
    You might just lose control
    And scream

    -- Seven Nations, "Scream"

    Read More

    15 comments · 807 views
Jul
28th
2013

And now, a word from our sponsor. · 3:03am Jul 28th, 2013

Do you suffer from ocular nomadism?
Head shot of sufferer, direction of eyes as close to this diagram as possible.

Are you accident prone?
Video clip from collapse of Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

Voice-over: "I just don't know what went wrong!"


Do you have just no sense of direction whatsoever?
Shot of person facing away from camera with an unfolded map, in front of a sign that says "Albuquerque City Limits". Person facing him from under the sign is pointing to the camera's left.

Ask your doctor about DERPIPONETM!
(equestrialis herpderpazine)
Stock video of patient talking to doctor.

Derpipone promotes optic focus and stimulates portions of the brain related to coordination and navigation. Patients taking the drug for the first time may feel a sensation like an electrical shock as it is metabolized. Derpipone begins working right away after you take it. Why take three medicines when you could be taking only one? Derpipone is available by prescription only.
More stock video: smiling pharmacist, young mother happily taking medication, couple walking on the beach at sunset -- the usual bullshit.

Use only as directed. Possible side effects include change of voice, canon alteration, increased muffin consumption, and drama. Do not use Derpipone if you are already taking Chromadash.

Report Elric of Melnipony · 2,614 views ·
Comments ( 22 )

You sir or madam, are a genius.

Whoever you are, I love you for this. :pinkiecrazy:

1253870
Let me get you my bank account number and routing number and then . . . Hey, wait a second! You're not a Nigerian scammer, are you? :trixieshiftright:

1253871
I'm glad you approve. :yay:

1253901
Thank you! :ajsmug: Oh, and while it doesn't seem to matter a whole lot in this fandom, let the record show that I'm a guy.

1253954
Merci buckets. :pinkiesmile:

1254088 Now what would give you that idea? :pinkiecrazy:

1254906
You may want to see about getting a prescription for Lafaditol (funipone pinkipye).

1255036 *snrk*

Now THAT was funny.

My doctor prescribed Derpipone for my ADHD and acute social awkwardness; it really helped. Not only can I concentrate, but instead of decreasing my appetite (as many ADHD medicines do), the muffin consumption helped me reach a normal weight. My voice also changed for the better. I now sound like this

skip to 1:00

WIN!

*Please pretend there is a Fluttershy Approved stamp here*

Thanks to this Aderpable blog post you have another follower :twilightsmile: SO CUTE!!!

2765544
You should try to ease yourself off of it -- despite what the pharmaceutical companies may tell you, it's basically just speed.

Ow. I busted a gut here. I needed happy tonight.

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