NO! · 3:34am Oct 16th, 2015
...
....
I... I'm depressed again
It took three days to get it back. To get my energy to leave and for me to start breaking down.
I don't believe I'm suicidal, but at this point... I don't know. I'm just sitting here, doing nothing, while my brother sits in the Crisis Recovery Center now (the place I went) because his arm broke, and he is on the brink of losing his job, and all I have to looks forward to when I get home is work tomorrow. Well, that, and losing my home because apparently my landlord and his lawyer thinks a depressed person creates a hostile environment, and if we are a threat to our landlord losing his son... we can't stay.
So I have to now deal with college, work, moving out, and the inevitability that my brother will probably force me to move again in a matter of months. Not only that, but the place I find will likely not have room for all the furniture my parents gave me, not be located near my work, meaning I have to get transferred, elongate my commute to half an hour or more, or lose my job, which can't happen, all while I still have no time because of work and college.
So... I suppose this means Twaithtober is cancelled... and I don't know what to do. Venting this did feel a little nice though.
From another person suffering from depression. Never give up. You may lose sight of the path, and you may get stuck in the brambles, but remember that there are people who will help you.
Take a break. We will miss you but real life is more important.
Have fun and don't stop being you.
3473785 Problem. I took a break. I spent three days relaxing in a ward specifically meant to help me, and it did. I felt fantastic. I felt like I could tackle my problems, and face them with a fiery passion.
And now, I can't go back to that place for six months, and I'm losing my home.
Venting and letting us know is about the best thing you can do right now.
Sadly, the hardest thing to do is keep trucking on. I can say from experience that life WILL eventually even out, but sometimes that wait can get to be too much.
If that is the case, just vent and let us know. Maybe one of us can give you useful advice. As to your housing problem- can the land lord legally terminate your rent like that? If you aren't sure, double check your lease (and if you are able/can fight it, i wouldn't expect to renew; just keep that place to have a roof over your head while you try for a new location). If the landlord ISN'T in their legal grounds to terminate your lease, get legal help IMMEDIATELY. even if you cant afford a lawyer, just getting the proof you could sue might be enough to keep your place.
HOWEVER, this advice is VERY situational. A few friends of mine had a similar scare regarding rent and the fact the office didn't get the payment processed in time. Just look into your lease and/or talk to your landlord about it. It MIGHT help. Or it might escalate things. Juts take it slow and you could be surprised.
*hug*
3473795 it took me 15 years to realize that I am depressed. It took me 3 to get into a good place. Find something to look forward to, because it will get better.
I won't promise a calm life but life gets easier and simpler the more we grow up. It's just a matter of dealing with the shit that happens before that.
Worrying about it isn't going to help. That might sound a little callous or impossible, but seriously, seriously give it a try. Keep your eyes open for what you can do, and attack that opportunity with everything, keep that up until something works. But getting down on yourself and letting the depression in... depression is insidious, like some part of you that WANTS you to become useless and unable to pull yourself back up again. You can resist it by marshaling your thoughts, distracting yourself while focusing on your mental and emotional health, and by finding the way for you that works in ceasing to worry about things you cannot yet control.
I suggest a great deal of introspection and pushing aside any guilt or self-blame or feelings of urgency or self-degradation. Especially when depressed, the first thing that comes to mind on hearing something like this, or trying it at first is always "That won't help/I can't do it/I tried that" when none of that is necessarily true. You are in control, just part of you doesn't want you to feel like you are. Never give in. Always resist, and use the time bought from resistance to better yourself.
3473804 I... I have no lease. I live in the bottom half of a dude's house and we always just... left each other be. So yeah, I only now am realizing that means he could have kicked me out for literally no reason. My bad I suppose.
I wish I knew what to say to help you.
All I can say is that we're here for you.
I wish I could offer more than just words, but words are all I can give. Don't life drag you down; grab it by the horns and see where the ride takes you.
I said it before, and I say it again: What do you need from us, right now? What can we do for you that will help you through the current situation?
In fact, just make a short list of things that would help with the current situation, don't worry about where they'd come from. Just make the list, share it with us, and we'll see what we can do. It doesn't even need to be physical things; literally anything that would help, list it, and we'll see what we can do.
3474006 The main problem is that I don't know. I'm sorry.
3474029
That's ok, too.
I'll tell you what. See if you can't get some sleep. Do what you normally would do tomorrow. When I get home from work, let's try to talk and see what we can figure out as far as a plan, even just an outline.
3474040 Deal.
3474042
Things are always frightening when everything is happening at once, but a plan will help with all that, and I'll do what I can to help you. I think all of us will.
You are not alone in this; it'll be ok. It probably won't be easy, but it'll be ok. I'll help you.
3474045
3474042
and he isn't the only one.
and as far as no lease goes-
there are worse ways to get living arrangements than getting some guy you know/ who put an add up for space. better than crashing at home for upteen years on end like i did.
like PhycoKrusk said, let us know. If we can, we will help; even if it seems like a loosing battle, it isn't over until you let it be one.
Welp... ya its bad right now, but I can say from experience that it is truly darkest before the dawn. So no matter how bad it might get, know that you can always go back up just as fast, not to mention your part of a community who is here for you, so if nothing else you can come to us and vent
Americans with Disabilities Act.
You can't evict somebody over a disability, and depression is included.
You don't need to have a lease to have renter's rights, but those depend entirely on what state you live in.
Assuming you live in the US, anyway.
Talk to a lawyer.
And just out of curiosity, if you're comfortable sharing with us, where abouts do you live? Maybe some of us could help with storage or something.
Sorry to hear your depressed again, hope you and your brother feel better soon.
Not sure if it will help you or not but when I feel down I listen to audio books, or go and watch old comedies, or would watch russian drives on youtube.
Just try to continue onwards, ok?. Several of the others are already willing to help you get through this, and If you need to vent here or anything, do it. It WILL help, I can guarantee it, We are willing to be understandable in this
Just don;t give up, ok?
I have been watching and reading everything that has been going on with you the past several days. I hoped things were getting better for you. I'm with PhycoKrusk, though. I'm not sure how I can help, or even if I can, but I'm here for you however I can be. You've been really great to me nd let me vent to you; please, if it helps talk with me! I know when everything happens at once it can be extremely intimidating. However I always been trained and taught that there is always one more thing you can do. Sometimes it may seem like a small thing but it might open a door to some other option that wasn't there before. Please don't give up. Please, too if you are thinking of suicide please, please call someone or go back to the ER. They can and will help. Please don't end everything over these temporary situations. Please know you have friends here to help you and that care about you.
I know it sounds trite but things do get better. Please remember that rough times do not last, things really do turn around. Also, I would still explore the ADA action. Even if you didn't have a lease you and your landlord had an agreement and he can't violate a Federal law without repercussions. If possible you might even be able to find housing with government assistance due to your depression and income level. ( I used to be a student, I know, believe me.) You might even talk with you college and see if they have housing available. I'll be here if you need to talk. Just remember we are here for you, friend.
I wish I could help, I really do...
3476173
3475538
3475180
3474781
3474484
3474481
3474310
3474108
3474045
3473891
3473885
3473825
3473819
3473815
3473766
Oh boy is that a lot of names. *Takes in a deep breath*
I'm doing somewhat better now. I accept that I won't be able to take everything with me, and that times are going to be tough, but that's how life goes. I've been lucky to this point with how my life has gone, and have to accept things I tried to accept back at Everfree when I first had these similar worries and thoughts. It will be tough, but just like at work, I can punch my lethargy in the face, and keep moving. I have to, for you guys, for my friends who I spent most of my free time with today, for my brother, and above all else, for myself.
So yeah, at least for now, I'm at least saying I'm... I'm here. I'm not slipping away yet, but I can't quite say I'm okay, but that's just how hard times go sometimes. I can't be unreasonable though, as that helps no one.
Also, for anyone think I have the law on my side, I had no lease. We don't even have a piece of paper making sure he has to pay me back my security deposit. We just paid on time and kept to ourselves, and just trusted our landlord, and he is still talking to his lawyer now. Hopefully, at the beginning of next week he hears from them that we are not a problem, but unless he can get a definite no, he will not threaten his son, and not only do I not want to threaten him keeping his son, I literally can't do anything to stop him from doing so. But as I said, I wouldn't want to anyways.
3476178
I can honestly say that 'hearing' someone on the interwebs be a GROWN ADULT is a refreshing change of pace.
(this was meant to be a comment aimed at the other general portions of the net's community (looking at you tumblr) and not offensive)
the best i can do is say i am still here if you need to talk, and good luck.
everything will eventually settle down, until then- keep your options open and start looking for a place to move into. as much as that stings, its better to start that and not need it, than need it and not have started.