This Blog Doesn't Deserve a Title (But if it did, it'd have something to do with Disney Princesses) · 9:01am Jul 17th, 2012
I am dead off my ass with drowsiness right now, which means I probably shouldn't be typing this. But history has proven that you marsupials seem to like these keyboardgenic holocausts when I am lacking wakefulness.
Some of you may have noticed this nugget of entropan whimsy from a few days ago. It was the silver medalist in a ponychan writing competition that I totally did not partake in. For those of you who aren't hyperintelligent writers who can recognize my stylistic mannerisms on the genitals of a flea from one hundred yards, the truth is I slapped the shiet together in two nights. I think it was about 11 combined hours of work. To the chagrin of my editors, I barely did anything to alter the final project. Mostly, I just took out a few stupid lines and divided the one-shot (yes, it was originally a single constipated document) into several chapters. Since then, it's found it's way onto Equestria Daily, where people promptly facepalmed because the link to Fimfiction 404'd. It also doesn't help that the fanfic's plot is pretty much the same derivatively sorry sack of suck that all "sad Celestia" fics have ever managed to be ever. I'm just kidding. I love you guys. Just castrate my drivel gently before it limps into the Forbidden City. You'll earn yourself a portable Epcot.
Oh... well, shit.
Speaking of Scott Hall's career, some of you may be wondering about the progress of that other nugget that Princess Entropa dropped at your door. Truth is, I haven't written any Background Pony since last blog post. Before the lynch mob tests my chin strength, lemme give the feeble excuse that I've been writing a less than feeble amount of crap as of late. I'm more or less tackling three experimental projects at once this week. So far, I've slapped together--like--90 pages total of mental manure. I've had a lot of fun too, which means that the crap must have a lot of kernels in it. I'm serious. There's a variable relationship between me enjoying the stuff I'm writing and how bad it ends up. That's where editors come in. They're for making friends and breaking dreams, not necessarily in that order. I'm not at liberty to say exactly what the three projects I'm working on are. Let's just say that one of them involves Lyra, the other involves mech suits, and the other one involves even more Lyra. It's probably just as well. Background Pony is in the final stretch, but a long stretch--no matter how much I shake it. It doesn't help that--on top of knowing everything that's gonna happen--I also know that a lot of people will probably unsubscribe to me once the story is over, which will be chapter 20 or so. That's right. About a week or two into the creation of the story, I kind of figured that I was putting together the Mass Effect Three of MLP fiction. I can smell it now:
"Lyra, I'm going to let you finish the elegies, but before you do, you must go and defeat the Reapers. Playing a song on the lyre will end in one of three consequences."
Okay, maybe not that bad, but the End of Ponies will be a lot better. Hell, it already is a lot better. The fic just won't stop being a hipster's wet dream. Oh, that and it's never fucking updated. I should do something about that, presumably before October rolls around. God, I have so many gray hairs.
I'm at that point in fanfic writing where--like--I'm wondering just what other phalluses I can bring to the orgy. I ego-stroked like crazy to "Never," but the story is too self-defeating to become a permanent gem. It's just... well... it's just sad. It's about Celestia and it's sad. It's like every Rage Against the Machine song ever release. All the shit's the same dayum thing. The fic has gotten a decent reception, and for that I'm glad. But I'm starting to realize just how egotistical and self-absorbed I am to think that everything I defecate onto the digital vomit trough will be as awesome a hit as Background Pony. Lyra's story has been and shall always be a crazy fluke that--to this day--I really can't understand. I mean, I do enjoy writing Background Pony. But I still find it crazy that it started off in the fashion that it did. Fimfiction, I think, is often times an exercise in odd luck. You can spend weeks upon weeks writing the latest grimdark epic but only barely get noticed. In the meantime, a story about a caterer watching paint dry suddenly achieves God status. The important thing to remember is that Bronies came out of the ejaculatory spawning pool of utter irony. I suppose the spirit of whimsy and silliness still animates our pastel ponies into the annals of literature.
I almost wish there was some way to explore the mechanics of this. Perhaps someone should organize a commission, employing extraordinary talents to see what makes Fimfiction stories crawl their way into the big leagues. But, alas, nothing is as it seems.
I've rambled about this before, but I'm gonna do it again. I really, really wanna do something less doom and gloom and more--I dunno--Simon Pegg, Buster Keaton, and Adam Sandler. I actually wanna live up to my name for once. Doing so stands the risk of frightening a lot of people, boring others, and making the scant remaining few want to go the way of Andy Griffith. Either way, I think I'd enjoy myself.
To that end, I think I'm gonna use the next 10 days or so to work on something that's been bugging my brain for weeks, keeping me awake in the middle of the night, and making me wish that Ellen Degeneres and Bill Nye were never born. It'll be the crux of craptacular experimentation, and I won't blame you marsupials for looking at me funny. Also, it may or may not involve cuddling.
^^See Above: Not Cuddling^^
Still, I feel as though you mofos deserve something. So, by hook or by crook, I'll have something uploaded for y'all to read by next week. It won't be Background Pony Chapter 13, and I can't promise that you'll like it, but it'll be there, and you can look at it, with your eyeballs, utilizing the light spectrum, and a shitload of Dr. Pepper. In the meantime, I'll tackle this stupid project of mine and see if I can get a chapter or two menstruated out so that you all can look at it and tell me that it's not worth the fucking time and I'll go straight back to regularly scheduled hoodies, cyclical dialogue, and the words "sapphiric" and "immaculate" being used over and over again like a Thai mistress.
This whole blog feels a little forced, like one of Lyra's journal entries, or the climax to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Two. I feel like people should be rewarded for reading this far. Oh, but of course:
[youtube=ZpndpwkYFHU]
Yup. You can thank me later. Go the fuck to bed.
-SS&E
I can wait. BP is right now my fav fic here. I can wait.
Also.... FIRST X_X
Yup. You can thank me later. Go the fuck to bed.
okaaayyyyy ;_;
But I don' waaannnnnnaaa go to bed!
"Go the fuck to bed."
It's 2 AM here, I really should heed that advice ...
I agree on the point of FiMFiction seeming like luck, because honestly that's what it seems like half the time. The other stories you uploaded are currently in my list of things to read, I haven't gotten around to them yet ...
Anyways, hope you can get back to writing BP/EoP soon, you slacker. (kidding)
Yup. You can thank me later. Go the fuck to bed.
But I just woke up!
Maybe fleas should dress a little more modestly so I don't have to call them out on their shamefully nubile grammatical formations.
Dammit, just write a comedy already. These blog posts are nothing more than appetizers to the sort of potential you got.
In the meantime, my sickness is relatively over and now I need to get back into the spirit of writing. Excluding current projects I got maybe two dozen ideas sitting in a text document just waiting to be torn into, maybe a third of which i don't want to write, but my head is so full of jargon and miscellaneous gray matter I don't know what to do.
If I was a pony my cutie mark would be an unfinished sentence, I swear.
Can't wait to see what morsels you have to offer. Presumably it will involve Lyra in some manner, a chicken, and a wrestling reference I am 100% confident I will miss.
I want to play ponies with Carnation so badly. Now I know how you feel with Alabaster's ears.
Now then, fuck you bed. Insomnia calls my name.
~RazgrizS57 </endinvisibleramblings>
Don't go to bed. Shave your head.
Also lol @ "big leagues".
>fanfiction
Don't worry SS&E, even if the end to Background Pony is as much of a disappointment as Mass Effect 3's ending, or hell even Duke Nuke'm Forever. I'll still love you...
...slightly.
The important thing is that you can write Background Pony and people also like it (note that I didn't say 'no people dislike it', that's how you CHART in FIMfiction but has nothin' to do with it)
At this point I'm actively avoiding writing any 'clever ideas that might hit the features lottery' in favor of just developing my longform stuff.
Thing is, work that really works, sticks with you. Background Pony was/is a great example of this, it's a whole world complete with distinctive authorial style that only you can/should do. It has nothing to do with hitting the fandom lottery. The stuff that's distinct and has a narrative builds its own momentum.
I can't go to bet now! I'm having lunch! That would be awkward and I quite like the pizza here.
Nope, not goin to sleep. Just woke up.
Also, I was actually okay with the Mass Effect 3 ending(s). Just write what you need to write, man.
Background Pony has been a delightful ride, but I'm still anxiously awaiting the next installment of End of Ponies. However, if you're churning out new works of insanity, I shall have to give them a try.
Also, no Reapers in BP. I will drop it like a diseased rat on the spot if you add Reapers.
You magnificent bastard!
I, for one, thought Never was very good. Although you can only explore the utter balls of "immortality sucks" so far before every sadfic featuring our poor little princess blurs together into one big soupy mess. I still think Device Heretic did it the best though, with his "living forever just makes the guilt and all other emotional baggage worse" angle. Whatevs.
Also, what's this I read about mech suits? Pony mechs are best mechs.
AND DON'T YOU DARE FUCK UP BACKGROUND PONY! I will eat your cat.
235388
I second this. Shortskirts has already drained me of sads, all I have left to pay him with are lulz.
"Go the fuck to bed."
Whatever. It's 9:48 AM here.
I'm beginning to wonder if I can finish Background Pony. The pacing, mythologizing, and internal dialogues are all pitch-perfect. However, I can only stand so much "innocent gets repeatedly kicked in the teeth." It's like an inverted Mulholland Falls--where the amnesiac character ceases to exist as she loses her memories--combined with A Hong Kong Mob Story. It's burning out my sad fuses.
Bed? Its nooooooonnn
I dont waanna. But ok
Is it wrong that I like re-reading your stories to buff the word count read of my profile?
Bouncing baby bunnies burning brightly...
Hilarious as always, Skirts. I'm glad my favorite author is also a pop-culture-enthusiast/movie-buff, at least to the point that I'm consistently entertained by your allusions. All here were great. My favorite link was A-ko. That was freakin' awesome.
I'm gonna read "Never" someday. I almost Pinkie Promise.
I just woke up, but I suppose I could use a nap.
Also dann, auf wiedersehen.
Here we go again.
236599
pmg.co/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/leonardo-dicaprio-inception-movie-meme-face.jpg
Background Pony. End of Ponies. Stools.
Epiphany: All fanfics are just excreted jargon and flushed to be taken through a system that filters out the kernels one may have not fully digested before it's released into world again bottled in recycled plastic bottles to quench our thirsts for some other persons excretions.
In that sense, you have the two biggest piles of shit I have ever read.
Let me know if you ever need more fiber. It seems you aren't excreting enough of said pile, namely End of Ponies.
Also, this has been a rather enlightening post.
Genitalia and excrement...genitalia and excrement everywhere.
In other news. Short Skirts. I understand general author quirkiness, but you are like...SERIOUSLY screwed up. Maybe you should do Pinkie Pie, since her insanity might nearly match your own at points.
So very... very crazy...
I'm still wondering the mechanism you have installed within your mind which determines which fans you'll actually acknowledge the existence of, either in a brief aside or in a comment response. Then again, if you responded to my comment, I fear my eyes would fry and my brain would melt, leaking out through my nostrils onto my keyboard, creating an unintelligible response to your response quite anticlimactically. And after your response had killed me, all you'd see in return was
jioefajoioraiojaj;dfkjl;dsf;lka
Peace.
I think I'm in love, your style is awesome.
>This whole blog feels a little forced, like one of Lyra's journal entries, or the climax to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Two.
Reminded me a lot of the PA newsposts that Tycho writes.