EiPJ3: The drinking begins (*COMPLETE - LIVE UPDATES) · 2:32am Dec 3rd, 2014
This post will update as Bradel and I count down to Experiments In Poor Judgment 3, starting at 7 p.m. Pacific time. Refresh the post for more!
What's going on * * * follow along live (starting at 7 p.m.)
*post-drunkwriting edit: go see the flaming wreckage
6:30 pm: The alcoholifying begins. Cracking a Mike's Hard Lemonade and breaking out the rum. Gonna do some stretches, blow the dust off of the ideas file, and start having second thoughts drink more.
Anyone got silly ideas they want to sabotage my writing planning with? (Aside from Flatland crossover porn.) Now's the time to plant seeds in my brain, right as the alcohol is starting to take hold.
6:45 p.m.: I have moved the heated cat bed to the chair next to my writing desk. THERE WILL BE WITNESSES TO MY SHAME
The bottle of Mike's is empty enough for me to start refilling it with rum. Which is stupid. I should clearly just pour the remainder, plus rum, into a larger glass.
6:50 p.m.: Bradel is apparently showering before we get started. I'm drinking for two, then. Current drink: 1 shot spiced rum + 1 shot coconut rum + most of a Mike's Hard Lemonade. That ought to get me lubricated.
7 p.m.: breaking for a second to tweet the event start! Most of the way through my 3x drink combo and Bradel's back ...
7:03 p.m.: The banter begins!
WE ARE LIVE - **follow along in google docs**
8 p.m.: Thanks to bookplayer we have degenerated into a back-and-forth Zecora dialogue war.
This is a battle that will end with no winners. Just a giant swath of scorch-streaked earth and an audience bleeding from their ears.
8:30 p.m.:: even as drunk as I am I can recognize how much of a trainwreck this story it
*is
Watch it for the performance art. Just don't readi it afterward.
However I did get to sneak in the word "bowdlerized" for which I am proud
9 p.m. apparently we have derailed into filking queen while high on peppermint schnapps
take your screenshots now boys
there will never be a better opportunity for blackmail
9something p.m.
I STAND CORRECTED
OH SWEET STARS AND OTHER CURSE WORDS
THIS IS A THING OF BEAUTY FOR YOU BLACKMAILERS
9:later p.m.
It has now broken down into a group filk collab of "Don't Stop Believing"
join usssssssssss
9:45? p.m.
Bradel ---> did a thing
warning: do not click sober, it will not be nearly as funny
10 p.m.: The filk is nearing completion. I think we're finally breaking out the far end of this travesty. I am beginning to be able to brain again.
oh god what have we done
10:20 pm: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (*breathe*) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
shame
shame
... when can we do this again?
11:30 p.m.: Thanks to Thornwing, Drunk Pony Don't Stop Believin' has been crossposted right here in comments. 
you should pick a random topic from the last write off list and go with that.
Rarity gets drunk and decides she really wants to be a princess with Twilight. Who is straight. As is Rarity. Probably.
Twilight Sparkle hears a knock at the door. On her doorstep is a stallion and fifty boxes of pizza he insists she had ordered. And he won't take no for an answer.
Cadence Marries Everypony OR You Do
The recently ascended Princess Cadence is more than eager to prove she's worthy of her new position as Princess of Love. And what do couples who are in love do? They get married.
While perusing the legal code of Equestria, she stumbles upon a law enacted by Celestia 400 years ago allowing any Princess to conduct marriage ceremonies. Sure, it technically doesn't say the ponies in question have to consent to the marriage, but any reasonable pony would understand that it's implied, right? ...Right?
An old scrap from my ideas folder, if you'd like to play with it.
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And he's naked, because, ponies.
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This becomes even funnier if you randomly mash them together:
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I think we have a winner.
Twilight returns from the human world with a 'Twilight's Secret Shipfic' card deck, and decides to invite the girls over to try it out.
There is booze involved, of course.
Sir, I do believe Poor Judgment is literally the name of the game. You're justified as a matter of principle.
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And now I have to clean off my screen from the spit take upon reading that.
Here's the drunk pony version of Journey's Don't stop Believin':
(YEAH!! OH YEAH!!)
Just a small tan mare
Runnin’ free without a care
She took the Friendship Train
Goin anywhere.
Just a city colt
Born and raised in South Big Oak
He took the Friendship Train
Goin anywhere.
A singer in the crystal bar
The smell of salt and cheap cigars
For a neigh they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Friendship, Magic
Up and down the crystal streets
(There's) Sombra, looming
In the night.
Dragons, Jumping
Princess in her husband's hooves
Snatching hearts out in the niiiiiight.
Workin’ hard at the Crystal Fair
Everypony's happy there
Payin’ anything to watch the jousts
Just one more tilt
Some will place, and some will show
Some don’t like the rhyme scheme, though
Oh the horse puns never end
They go on and on and on and >HURK<
Friendship, Magic
Up and down Equestria
Their Bearers learning
What is riii-iiight
Lonely, Princess
Tryin’ not to make a mess
Hopin’ someone loves her night
Don't clop, this feelin'
Stop with all that pre-conceivin'
Friendship, Magic – Ahh, ahhh, ahhhh
Don't clop, this feelin'
Trot on!
Endless, staircase to the skyyyyyyyy!
Don't clop, this feelin'
Stop with all that pre-conceivin'
Friendship, Magic – Ahh, ahhh, ahhhh
This occurred.
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Thank you guys so much for preserving that for posterity while Bradel and I sober up.
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Where's the aforementioned afterlarty? I still wanna harass people because fun.
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I'm not even sure. It's a weeknight. I think a lot of people went to bed. Bradel and I are slowly sobering up (some more than others) and not entirely up to shaking the bushes for post-authorial hilarity. But if people show up here we can banter!
I think there's still some back-and-forth in the google doc comments, too.
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Also if you're still drunk Friendship is Witchcraft is more hilarious than usual
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Aw dangit my bit got cut at the last minute.
2630754 combination of my OCD and the repetitive slog that the song devolves into at the end.
It's not even a verse, just a shout out section.
**FIX'D**
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Yeah, but that was like, everyone else's fault.
Well sounds like you guys had fun.
I'd also like it to go on record that Horizon had "four5 shots rum."
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I don't drink, but I had a lot of fun with the drunks. The song was epic.
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"Experiments in Poor Judgment: Come for the trainwreck, stay for the pony songs."
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It is the morning, and I am alive!
Unfortunately, I think my vocal cords may not be the happiest campers.
I can't even get through this. It's too painful. It's like rusty nails to my eyeballs. My testicles shrivel up and, after growing tiny mouths, scream their way inside me.
11/10, new favourite bedtime story for difficult children unable to sleep.
ah, I'm so sorry I missed this but I'm sure Bradel will be teased mercilessly by others in my stead. Glad you two had fun, I heard him griping about his liver at one point.
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Huzzah! For survival, anyway.
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The screaming and the shriveling is how you can tell you still have some sanity left.
Treasure it.
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Awww yis my bit is back. And... improved, actually. Thanks, mate.