• Member Since 14th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

MrNumbers


A man with a fork in a world of soup

More Blog Posts278

Nov
1st
2014

Blame Yourself: Luna's Reply · 6:46am Nov 1st, 2014

So yeah, remember this?

Of course you do. That's why you're here, isn't it?

Well, as promised: A villanelle from a former villain, as a thank you for those who cared enough to ask for it.

Luna by Lampshine

To the revered noble most commendably brave Twilight Sparkle

You must be wondering what my stance is
And on your withers a burdensome weight
Following such bold and brave advances

Though I am not one for risks and chances
I admire the courage to ask we 'date'
You must be wondering what my stance is

Do you wish of us, perchance, slow dances?
If it were so simple that would be 'great'
Following such bold and brave advances

To 'no' let there be no backwards glances
We could start afresh, grant thee a clean slate
You must be wondering what my stance is

Should 'yes' love struck gazes lead to trances
Let onlookers decree 'Ah! Such is fate!'
Following such bold and brave advances

Forgive me my coyness on our romance
I cannot decide, your answer must wait - No, that would be cruel. Unfair.

But I do have a lot on my 'plate' - No less cruel. Do not be insufferable, Luna.

My indecision has left me a state - Utterly true, but this is your last line to make a decision, you clay-brained guts, you knotty-pated fool. Why has this simple exceptional mare's advances left you so flummoxed? There is truth in your prior words. Read again and find the answer you have been trying to steer yourself towards. Why must you be so reluctant?

Twilight, would you chance at being my mate?
I am left wondering what your stance is
Following such bold and brave advances


TO THE MOST STUDIOUS TWILIGHT SPARKLE - URGENT

I appear to have sent the first draft. Please, Twilight Sparkle, might you see it in your heart to send it back without reading its contents, so that I might improve upon it further? It is not ready for thine eyes.


To Dearest Princess Luna

Yes.



To the most astute and erudite Twilight Sparkle,

I am afraid I do not understand, Twilight Sparkle. There appears to be some level of confusion packed into so small and singular a word. You have stated 'yes', yet not sent back the offending draft with it.


To My Dearest Moon

You misunderstand me, Moon. The yes was not addressed toward your second scroll, but rather to the question posed at the end of the first. Yes.

P.S - I found no offense in the draft.


To dea Addressed to the most r To the mare of For the mare I most tentatively hazard worthy of courting

You must think me a soft-skulled fool, then, to have sent such ill-thought prose. Yet you would still deem me worthy of thine affections?

Oh. Forgive me this moment of absence. I believe I must turn to my sister for council. She is more versed in how to proceed from here than I, I believe. For in truth I am flummoxed. Be careful not to repeat your previous error and send this before corrections have been ma



Yes, I cheated a little at villanelle structure. Okay, a lot. Particularly for the second last line. But, really, isn't the whole point of knowing the rules understanding when it's best to break them?

I would like this to stand, in advance, as an elaborate apology to GhostOfHeraclitus, because I'm afraid for him I have tragic news.

I'm writing a tragedy. I meant the 'tragic news' thing in its most literal sense.

The NotSafeForGhostTag is probably going to have to be pilfered from Bad Horse upon its completion. I just happen to know he's a sucker for elaborate poetry. Hopefully this'll make it up to him.

Or, in other, more flowery words:

Sadfics, when read
Make you feel blue
But I wrote you a poem
Ghost, this one's for you.

Report MrNumbers · 1,104 views ·
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 22 )

Beautiful.

Very nice--wonderful sense of Luna's voice, and it's adorable (even if I usually lean toward Twilestia:trixieshiftright:).

When I was younger, I went to a French language immersion school. On learning this, people would, inevitably, immediately, ask me to say something in French, and I would stand there slack-jawed while all the words seeped out of my ears instead.[1] Trying to write poetry has always evoked a very similar sensation. I stare at the page and don't know where to go.

Meanwhile, I re-write songs spontaneously and with sometimes-embarrassing speed[2]. It's choice paralysis, I think. One of these days I'm going to give in to the temptation to start an alt account to rewrite stories that have good plots and bad execution.

[1] It wasn't until I was quite a bit older that I learned the proper response to this, which is to retort "Say something in English" and watch the other person stumble through the same stumpedness.

[2] The speed becomes embarrassing when you come up with three or four line snippets fast enough to either sing silly new words along while the song is still playing, or fast enough to still be relevant to the conversation you're having. It's never stopped me, though.

2567513

[2] The speed becomes embarrassing when you come up with three or four line snippets fast enough to either sing silly new words along while the song is still playing, or fast enough to still be relevant to the conversation you're having. It's never stopped me, though.

images22.com/pics/04/wayne-brady-with-mic.jpg

NotSafeForGhostTag

...

:raritydespair:

2567513
Say something in French! :trollestia:

Oh, and Luna is goddamn adorable. There is something deeply compelling about two nerds trying to woo each other with poetry. :raritystarry:

2567513

One of these days I'm going to give in to the temptation to start an alt account to rewrite stories that have good plots and bad execution.

Why would you need an alt account for that?

I... apparently am weak to elaborate poetry. This is quite an interesting development.
Is it permitted to politely request more of such works?

2567515

I have always loved the musical segments on Whose Line. When I hit just the right combination of intoxication and wound-up social energy, I can convince myself that I could pull one of those bits off. Truly, everyone on that show is an inspiration (except Drew. Unless he starts flashing a bunch of money again).

2567521

"Quelque chose."

"Oh, what's that mean?"

"Something."

The other person rolls their eyes and smiles with slightly condescending indulgence, even though they're the monolingual péquenaud here.

And that's why I switched to "Say something in English" instead.

2567530

I would expect someone to figure out what I was doing, take offense, and start a drama wave.

2567534
Frankly, I think most "drama waves" require participation; if you're writing new stories with the same idea behind them as other stories, there really is little cause for complaint, and as long as you don't provoke anyone, I don't think that any dramaing would really exist.

Besides, if you made it an alt, if it would create drama, it would still create drama; you would just have to juggle it with being yourself.

2567539

That may be. I could just be paranoid because my adrenal glands seem to be on light triggers, and only do 'off' or 'WE GOTTA FIGHT A BEAR'.

Dear Mr Numbers,

Was most delighted to find this.

It is quite adorable and beautiful and...and...I can't quite find the words.

I would dearly love to see this continue.

<3

Found them...it fills up the void that lies deep inside and grabs your heart with both hands.

Phew...that's a bit deep for a Saturday morning...

:raritystarry:
Poetry!

Heavens, but I've created a monster!

It's lovely and adorable in every possible way. Awkward, adorkable Luna is best Luna.

And, alas, it seems NotSafeForGhostness is catching. Still, apology very much accepted.

These are amazingly adorable!

Touching poetry and old-fashioned insults? I utterly loved it, and I'm normally apathetic towards Twiluna. Thank you, and I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

2567574 But at least they're kind enough to warn you in the nicest manner possible.:twilightsmile:

This is so fucking cute.:twilightblush:

I love the rhythm of Luna's poem in response. Forgive me for comparing it to a waltz, with its cycling themes (yes, I have no real experience with poetry) and confident expression. And then the confidence is undermined and hooves get tangled, she tries to find her cadence again and fails, falling back on the one realization that may be of hope: that they are on the same dance floor, together.

So now that we've pushed you into a response letter (and more), can we expect you to take this further? I can't help but see the potential for a story here...

2567523 Well said: I couldn't agree with this more! Sweet, sweet nerdy love. :twilightsmile:

2567574
2567515
You two are incorrigible. Also brilliantly wonderful. If Haiku of the Alicorn could stand on its own, I know these two pieces could. And it's taking immense willpower not to jump on the bandwagon and crank out a pantoum or something.

More poetry from these two.

Please, this was so amazing.

Awkward, tongue-tied Luna is most adorable Luna.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!