So I did it · 1:23pm Aug 12th, 2014
I made a lost chapter for Rising Star, Sparkler, and Loch.
It was an oddly cathartic experience. I never actually intended to do this. They're kinda young after all, and I know this sounds weird, but I wanted to give them the privacy they deserved. It was a private vulnerable moment. Two of them were tired and running on hormones. They were dirty and smelly.
And damnit, by actually forcing myself to write this, all of them grew. I cannot describe the emotion I am feeling, but it has impacted me deeply. Already I am looking at future scenes and realising I am going to have to tweak things. I didn't want them to grow, I wanted them to keep some small shred of innocence, at least in my own mind, something entirely personal, knowing that as the author, even though I took them from so many things, at least I left behind a shred of innocence even if it was only known by me.
And now that is gone.
Oddly enough I felt it slipping during the chapter when they go into actual combat. I felt their simple innocent purity as characters slipping into some sort of void. It started off as some gawky awkward teenage romance built upon a misunderstanding... Sparkler was in a situation that mirrored her mothers. So many of us have had that experience where we felt something for somebody that was just out of reach, but we tried anyway for whatever foolish reason. Rising Star met this perfect girl that made him want to get his shit together. That's a heavy thing when you are a teenager. Even as I began to weave their sub-story, I knew what I would be doing to them eventually. And I felt bad. I had to put so much time into them, creating build up, developing their characters in the background so the reader would be emotionally invested in them as real personae.
And now, rather than being innocent teenagers trapped between foal-hood and adulthood, they're horny teenagers who've been screwing one another, and that makes me kinda melancholy.
And now, as I write, knowing what I did to them, I must prepare myself for Thistle, and I find myself a little glum about the whole thing. Going to be one of those sorts of days.
It was either that or they grew up by watching some poor pony bleed out a few days later. Personally I think they keep a bit more joy this way, which is a good consolation.
You're talking like their parent...and on one level, you are. (at least to me...and how my twisted and sleep deprived mind sees it too)
What you did is more realistic, I'm sorry it's kinda depressing and frustrating for you, but it's part of being a "parent". These characters aren't just words on paper or part of your imagination. I've been reading this for a while now... (I wasn't even into MLP until Xamp told me to read your work), the attachment you have to that characters you right is deep. So, it makes sense to me that you feel that way having to watch them grow up. They're alive... and everyone knows it sucks to grow up.
and... We've all been teenagers, that's how relationships happen...They went from that innocent "young love" stage where everything is shiny and new... everything is special, and clean ... and it's all so difficult because you don't want to ruin anything... to finding a place and just doing it! Eventually things happen ...because that's what a lot of kids do. and after what they all went through today it makes a lot of sense. Stress needs release and after all the pent up EVERYTHING those three have had ... it makes sense. It's not like they had the state exams to get them all wound up, or the SATs...
I think seeing sparkler let go of her mothers baggage was a really, really good thing. She was more worried about having Derpy's life, then she was about the actual deed...They're still a bit innocent just because of their ages. They're not going to have all the answers. So they had some dirty sex in the back of a library... at least they didn't do it somewhere that they'd actually get CAUGHT (like most of us did......
) I thought you sending them to the abandoned library was part of that innocence still being there...they went to someplace that people go to learn, somewhere dark and secret and private to try to make it so that little bit of innocence was still preserved.
They are still innocent teens on one level, the concern was getting back before their parents caught them ... that's pretty innocent to me! THAT consequence is much more terrifying than anything else was going to be....that's youth right there.
It was a really, really well developed chapter, and with it being more serious it almost lost some of the ...um... stupidity and awkwardness... we all (ok, maybe it was just me, but I want to assume it's everyone!) have with cashing in our V-cards as young people and defiling a space that's not our own.
Try to have a good day!
You sound like a parent, which in a way I guess you are when it comes to your characters... and as you might be aware, every parent has to let their children grow up and experience life the same way everyone else usually ends up doing it. Most parents also feel melancholy at what appears to be a loss in their lives but it is far from that.
Do not feel bad about what has come and what is yet to come (pun intended), rather feel proud knowing what you do about the future in their lives and what will be in chapters yet to be written, much less imagined by you.
As everyone, not just parents know, young things eventually grow up and there is no stopping that inexorable truth. Your characters will all have to grow up, mature, enter into relationships, have foals and grow old. I think you said it yourself that this story and it's multiple arcs encompass a very long time-frame so these things are inevitable. If it wasn't now and with these three, it would be with others further along in the story's future. I think one of your blogs goes into listing generations and progeny so it sounds like you have a lot of future yet to come.
Speaking from my own perspective, the whole story to date, lost chapters and all, prequel still being written, all fits very well together and I wonder how different it might have been if events or whole sections were omitted. I wouldn't have it any other way than as it is now and as you have written it!
I was originally going to skip that chapter, but after reading how you felt about it I realize it might actually be worth reading for the character development.
... It had to come eventually (Not intended xD), the characters had to grow, because that's the point of them being teenagers, they're growing, but I understand why you think this was fast to come (Again ;-;). I'm both iffy and happy for the change, it's... Interesting. <3
you did good man, you did good
don't over-think it, it had to be done
as you said in the chapter itself, foals are not foals anymore after killing...
I was originally going to skip that chapter, but after reading how you felt about it I realize it might actually be worth reading for the character development.
This is a prime example of why it is not always a good thing to listen to you fans every request. If you don't wanna do something then you shouldn't feel like you have to. Not gonna say that this was a mistake but please remember it. We are not the author, we don't know what is best for the story. Only you do.
Having said that, I am now off to read it. Especially when it had such an impact on you.
Ugh... not another one... Why must everyone equate innocence with virginity and ignorance? So, Fluttershy is less innocent if she decides to get intimate with her partner? Yeah, right. Is Twilight less innocent if she discovers that magic - her talent - can kill others? Is the wide-eyed idealist any less inocent if he or she gets into a battle and gets in the position where taking a life is inevitable?
No! Yes, there might be angst. Yes it is something life-changing, specially under ugly circumstances, but COME ON! There is more than one road. Innocence is not ignorance, and innocence doesn't depend on whenever or not someone touched what or whom or whatever.
Innocence is as intangible a quality as generosity or kindness.
That is to say, character development can sneak up on you like a ninja. I should know, I have had my characters change and even 'contest' the direction I had in mind at first.
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Well, what is innocence then?
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See Pinkie throwing a party for the depressed, broken ponies of the Crystal Empire despite knowing very dang well that the one that enslaved them is just bidding his time? How hard all of the girls tried to help them, especially since they (thought they) knew it would be the key to beating that tyrant outside? How they keep smiling and having happy times despite having faced down all those things, even welcoming Princess Luna, whom they only knew as this mare that wallowed in her misery and jealousy until she snapped, became corrupted by dark magic, then tried to enact a plan that would have left the world a barren wasteland?
Innocence is not ignoring problems - that's naivety, and highly dangerous for themselves and others -, it's being willing to help solve them with a smile on your face.
See, 'Keep Calm and Flutter On' was a great example. Everyone else thought that Fluttershy was 'innocently' believing that Discord would not take advantage of her, when they were actually thinking she was naive - NOT. She knew that Discord was trying to decieve her, but she wanted to give him a chance to be friends anyways, going along with what he said or did until he crossed the line and started hurting other ponies. I ask, does that make her less innocent? Does a future display of cuteness or meekness make her a hypocrite or a deluded pony that thinks she can go back to something that 'will never come back'?
Pfft. She's innocent, but NOT stupid, naive, nor ignorant of ignoble intentons. She's still smiling, and meaning it.
Yes, there are things that will strain that smile, but the key is to not stop trying. It's being willing to take the chance of getting hurt, just because the other party deserves a chance.
Some might think it foolish, even stupid, to look for meaningful knowledge/lessons/what-have-you out of other fanfics, tumblr, or webcomics (particularly ones like Order of the Stick, for the 'keep trying' thing), but then again, are we not browsing a site dedicated to a little girls' cartoon that tries to convey the beauty of friendship?
And succeeds, I might add.
After all, would you said that Fluttershy or Pinkie are less innocent for knowing that there are evil ponies - NOT demons, ponies - that want nothing but to have the others bend to their will? And don't forget having dealt with the after-effects personally. They simply didn't let it get to them, and pushed past all of that because helping the affected was more important.
Can't ignore it - that's just asking for trouble. Can't stay stuck in it - you miss out on everything that comes afterwards. Take the lesson, learn it, see to it that any mistakes are learned from, and move on.
Same with sex. So, if you know that sex exists, are you not innocent any more? What about after doing it? Where's the 'line'? As I said, ignorance is dangerous. 'Bliss' is not worth it, because it's not a shield and will end up getting you hurt worse in the long-term. So, let's say that 'Shy is 'innocent', and thus misses that the stallion's intentions are... less-than-noble; there are dark, or even grimdark fics like those, all because they equate ignorance and naivety with innocence. Though some have it as a... backstory, and yet Fluttershy is still the meek Element of Kindness, if guarded/troubled/consequence-of-author's-choice. Still innocent, even after everything. Still innocent, but no longer ignorant.
And things like 'robbed of innocence' or the death of it or whatever bug me. The author might mean that the character has been broken, yes, but, some times, the character keeps acting innocent anyways, even after they said that innocence never comes back.
Which is another load of bull, too.
Still, I hope this answers your question of what I view as innocence. Someone else might have a different one, after all.
And you also know why some views bother me and I think they are bogus.
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Hmmm... How is that different from positivity / optimism / hope?
Not being rhetorical here...
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Not much, I admit. It's like a blend of them, with some faith in the good inside people for good measure.
And cheerfulness, of course. Plus other small qualities... it's hard for me to describe in words... it's the reason I use examples instead.
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Thanks! Have a good one!
It's OK, K, you still have Dinky and Piña as the last bastion of innocence!
LOL, snoregasm.