Property of Officer Hot-Pants. 
Feel free to add me on discord: NA_Widowmaker#1810
I hope everyone is doing well.
Some roses are pink
this assistant is too.
If you bought me dinner
I'd be dinner for you.
...but I regret the choices I didn't make moreover.
I skip a week of FiMFiction.
Heh. Anyway, I'm not very fun anymore. I'm kind of boring and lifeless and I feel that I should be giving more even though I can't.
Ummm. While I think of something productive to do, feel free to talk to me or ask me questions.
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sup?
2231641 I'm good thanks.
I think someone could use a hug
2231650 Sounds good.
2231654
*hugs you as tight as can be!*
Better?
2231658 Much better.
Can we do it again..?
If you are a sexy assistant... can I get something sexy?
2231661
Of course! *hugz!*
You were gone for a week?
Whyyyyy? (that is my question)
Luvs
2231664 *Opens up briefcase* How much sexy do you want..?
2231668 I don't want it to end.
*Grips you*
2231691
It doesn't have to end silly *snuggles up to you*
2231691
Give me all the sexy!
2231685 I kind of got bored of everything.
This place isn't as good anymore. I also had a little drawing haitus.
2231696 Oh mai Celestia you're so fucking sweat.
Silly Sexy Assistant.
2231709
No you!
ANOTHER QUESTION! XD
Big orgy? :3
Your never boring or lifeless to me. Your the reason I am on this site after all.
2231703 *Gives you all the sexy* I love you.
2231712 Sorry.
2231714 Grrr. You're sexier.
2231765
Yaaay *takes all the sexy and goes under covers*
...
*minutes pass by*
Do you like piña coladas?
2231721 Yes please.
2231731 D'awww. Aren't you cute.
2231778 Always
2231773
No, you're sexier!
2231778 Alright everyone. Jump on her and lets take turns. Sharing is caring! :3
Glad you're back, by the way.
2231776 I like Pineapple, and I like rum-based cocktails, but not together. How about you..?
2231774 Can I join in..?
2231792
Sure!
I know how that is. Especially returning to a huge feed. I had to remove fic notifications for a few more groups to help cut down a bit I think. It's surprising and kind of crazy.
Worse, the forum notifications die much faster. I think they only last 24 hours now.
But no matter! Don't feel bad about not being lively around here. Productivity is only in the eye of the beholder anyway.
How did you come up with the name The Sexy Assistant? and how much sexy is involved? does it pay good?
2231776
And getting caught in the rain?
Hey Roflcopter, just here to remind you if that time you drew my OC and Luna doing... Sexy times...
There are links. I will warn you now.
Involves Gryphon/Princess of The Night - Reverse Cowgirl.
Shit may or may not have just gotten real.
2231790
2231794 *Does Sexy time under the covers with you*
2231810 Nyhaha! I LOVE YOU YILDUN. You're always a fucking genius.
*Becomes mega jelly*
2232039
>Lord of Nothing needed an "assistant" and made a public request on the Amateur Artist Unite group.
>I had recently become obsessed with the receptionist on Rarity takes Manehatten.
>I said I'd become his Sexy Assistant and changed my name as a joke along with my profile picture; to one of the receptionist.
>Everybody found it funny and I liked it too so it stuck.
I dont get paid anymore.
2232592 Heya-... What..?
2232582
Yeah, and if they're not in to yoga, then they have half a brain.
2232781
I'll keep paying if you want. You were the best assistant ever, in more ways than one ;)
2232781
Well i love it! keep spreading the sexy
Awww i'm sorry, would it be out of the question then to ask for a little sexy?
You aren't boring!
Don't leave me...
2231773 For what, dear? Being a sexy assistant? You think Coco gets flack for that?
Silly Sexy Assistant, we'd all be lost without you.
Except for Jeff. Man, fuck Jeff.
2232909 I'd be very grateful.
2232949 *Gives you a stack of sexy* I'm getting paid again.
2233309 Happy makes me horny.
Which one..?
2233489 *Doesn't leave you*
2233531
I won't be sleeping tonight.
2234414
*Takes stake* Thank you
Tell me, is it all natural or do you have a supplier?
2234414
Then you're back in business! Quickly, to the filing cabinets and cubicles!
2234414
2234500 Lord of Nothing is my dealer.
2234513 LEL! *Starts stacking paper*
2235971
*Gives you a bj*
2236034
2236034
Great! Now that that's done, we can pretend to work, but really not! Hooray for working in a modern business with an adequate internet connection!
2236112 Now let's shag on a desk! Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wah-Wow-Chicka-Wow-Bow-Wah-Wow-Wow
2236295
Whoop whoop!
2236305 Silly.