Fluttershy I'm not: dryer birds. · 6:55pm May 15th, 2014
As noted in a very early blog post, I have my own washer & dryer. It's a sensible move: water is one of the few things I don't have a utility bill for and laundromat costs in my area occasionally seem to reach the point of "...or I could just fund a new wardrobe and call it a night". So... dryer. Which comes complete with air venting hose heading for a nearby window, a screen, replacement mini-wall with some insulation because that window is open pretty much all the time. The works.
The optional extra arrived a couple of weeks ago.
So. Much. Chirping...
After walking around my building a few times and peering closely at the visual evidence while evaluating the audio, here's what I've got: two parents and what I'm pretty sure are at least three newborns. They are either living in the space between mini-wall and screen or in the dryer vent itself. I actually saw what I'm guessing as the mother leave on a food run and given the speed, my description is 'sort of grey'. The newborns are enthusiastically loud, especially when waiting for food to come in.
I know how they got in: the lower edge of the screen has been pried away from the frame, apparently by beak. Given a good angle, I can see a tiny bit of nest edge. Very secure, I'm sure: I don't think most predators will be getting in.
It's just that...
...I'm afraid to run my dryer.
Because I don't know if they're in the space between now-broken screen and mini-wall -- or if any part of the nest is in the vent. Or if the vent is just too close to the newborns.
I'm sure I was helping to keep the eggs toasty-warm. But now that they're hatched... how much heat can they take? If I run the dryer at normal settings, am I risking killing them? I'm not going to open the mini-wall and move the nest: that's a death sentence: taking them away from their parents, can't feed them, etc. But if they are in the vent, it's a good way to potentially start a fire.
I've risked running the dryer on ultra-low -- basically a summer breeze setting. Nothing's happened. The chirps have not diminished and I didn't expect they would: they already got that level of heat last week from the environment. Sure, it takes me six hours to dry a sock, but gee, I have laundromats, right? And I'm afraid to chance any higher settings at all.
It's not as if I can talk them into moving.
*listens to chirps*
..charge rent?
Solutions welcome. Right now, I'm stuck at 'wait it out'.
Therefore, information on bird maturity rates also welcome.
That's rough, buddy.
Call some sort of wildlife management hotline, if such a thing exists? Probably best to ask An Expert.
Looks like moving it yourself is a bad idea at this stage, or at least a last resort. This resource could help:
A page about removing bird nests
It suggests contacting a wildlife preservation group in a case such as this. How to find one? Contact your town administration and ask for their wildlife/conservation office or whatever department handles this, search the yellow pages for a humane society or birding group, or ask a vet what to do.
What kind of bird are they? If they're pigeons they're essentially winged rats and i wouldn't think twice about removing them and placing them on the ground, baby snakes gotta eat too, even if they're not as cuddly. If they're something more exotic try to get someone with expertise to take them away if you really feel like it.
Do nothing and they'll probably be there again next year.
Do what writers do naturally: write a story about it.
Luna's Unwelcome Guests - Princess Luna loves spring as much as any other pony, but when a pair of (noisy bird breed here) take over a corner of her bedroom for their nest, she finds her temper rising as they grow louder and louder....
Let the flames claim them! Natural selection!
But seriously, call a wildlife expert.
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I figured I'd go Internet-fishing first. Experts generally come with two hours worth of really annoying hold music.
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Oh, look, a New Yorker!
No idea on the breed, but I didn't see any pigeon iridescence. Best pure guess I'm getting elsewhere based on my very momentary glimpse is that they might be mockingbirds.
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I thought about it -- and thus the post title, because for ponies, it's a problem which is too easy to solve. Fluttershy says a few words, there may be a round of negotiations with concessions from both sides, and the nest is moved with parents knowing just where they have to go next. That can become more complicated, but doing so likely means working around Fluttershy, without her, or having her come down on the birds' side. Possibly building a Marenigot line as defense.
...you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
2114836 But it has some wonderful humorous bits in the concept too.
Luna sneaking into Celestias bedroom to try to get some sleep, only to find the maids making up her room.
Trying to catch a nap in one of the negotiation rooms, only to have the Griffon ambassador walk in on her with Celestia, leading to what will forever be called "The 30 Second Treaty" in order not to disturb her.
Napping in the garden and finding the rest of the wildlife is noiser.
Taking a nap on a high cloud, and being carried by the wind far away.
Sneaking into Ponyville to take a nap in the library (they're quiet, aren't they?) only to have Twilight explode another experiment in the basement.
et al... until she finally talks to Fluttershy and begs her to move them, finally getting back to sleep in her own bed... and can't because it's too quiet.
Royal Guard: You want me to what?
Luna: Chirp.
Royal Guard: Chirp?
Luna: Thou mayest whistle on occasion, but only when you are hungry...
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LOL. I'm no New Yorker but pigeons are pigeons all around the world.
My own experience with unwanted robins in Indiana was that the fledglings left the nest mid-June. Right when I was moving out. One of them decided to hop into the basement (couldn't quite fly yet). So if you can do without machine-dryed clothes until then, you're good to go.
After all, you could just hang up your clothes to dry them. This method even works indoors, although it isn't fast. Might take a day for your clothes to dry, but it's cheaper than running a dryer. Or, if you really like the feel of machine-dried clothes, you could go to the laundromat. If you don't care how they dry, but like the feel of hot clothes, you could put them in the oven for a few minutes before getting dressed.
Other options--you could try putting a cat, ferret, weasel, or snake in your drier vent. This might solve your bird problem, although you would need some method to get that animal out. Snakes are generally very quiet, though, and might appreciate the warmth of a dryer vent.
The weather's getting nicer, too, so depending on your job situation, local laws, and so forth, you could just forgo clothes for the next few months.
My vote is invest in a laundromat pass or a clothes rack. As well see what the wildlife experts have to say. Just make sure once the family has fully left the next to remove the next and fix the screen. In the meantime, go check other areas like that to prevent further intrusions.
If the dryer didn't kill them in the egg, it's not gonna kill them out of the egg. They have more surface area to shed heat with now than they did before. I'd say go ahead and dry your socks. (I'd also yank the damn nest out of my dryer vent, but I'm a cruel and heartless bastard.)
That sort of thing has happened to me a few times. They usually stick around for most of the summer. Until at least late July, usually gone by the end of August. There is no solution other than moving the nest, or you're in for the long haul.
I've found that stomping and loud cursing can scare them into shutting up for a while, but eventually they get desensitized to it and will just chirp right through all of your very best and most creative screamed insults.
I used to like birds. Not so much anymore.
If you decide to let them stay and still want to use the dryer you could try buying a longer/extra exhaust hose and run it to another window. Or if you don't mind a little humidity, just cap the hose off with some fine mesh fabric to catch the bits of lint. A cheep pair of pantyhose would probably do the trick. Just don't set the end on or near something that would suffer heat damage.
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2114901 Would Fluttershy still be a sherman tank?
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But you just wrote it.
Also, I already did a Pony Can't Sleep story.
Plus, y'know, the whole 'you just wrote it' thing.
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Why, then, you might wish to take care, for you can shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit them, but it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.