At the Inn of the Prancing Pony: Service Interruption · 4:51am May 3rd, 2014
[The following describes the aftermath of this little blog post of mine.]
NIGHTMARE MOON’S LATEST ASSASSINATION PLOT BASED ON HUMAN SNUFF FILM
Film Graphically Depicting Brutal Murder Given Eight “Academy” Awards; Ex-Monster Luna Praises It in Review
That was the headline in the Canterlot Clarion to greet me when I woke up this evening. It was the most vitriolic of the stories published by the pony press on the subject (the Clarion has a near inexhaustible supply of “assassination plots” that I am apparently cooking up in my noggin, and an equally inexhaustible supply of anti-human paranoia; really, I only read it to laugh at its stupidity nowadays). Unfortunately, it was not the only story in this vein, and that has created some political complications.
That particular essay was a first draft, written in one of my black moods, consigned to the trash and never meant to be read by another living being. It was never meant for publication, and even if I ever decided to publish it, it most certainly would not have been in that form...with those infidelities left intact. As such, a certain degree of blame needs to be apportioned. And that means that things are going to change around here.
To begin with, Mr. Editor McPoodle is taking a forced vacation to Equestria, there to tour some of the battlefields of my youth and hopefully learn a bit about humility and respecting one’s personal space (and rubbish bins).
Only a bit, mind you. I’m quite fond of the scamp when his power of sarcasm is directed against targets other than me, and as some of you have witnessed, he’s no fun whatsoever when he’s broken, so I certainly won’t be punishing him too much.
Let it be noted, however, that I was right and he was wrong when I suggested adding a “backup” editor to this project. (Which is not to say that Miss Hope is in anyway inferior as a human when compared to Mr. McPoodle, just that I haven’t the opportunity to get to know her as well as...and you know what? Let’s just end this parenthetical right now before it gets completely out of hoof.)
So I think under the circumstances (and my upcoming “guest appearance” before the Equestrian Senate), it might be reasonable to expect that the update schedule for this fanfiction will become somewhat strained for the immediate future. I’ll be sure to forward any of your complaints on this matter to McPoodle’s personal email. 
On a positive note, this whole debacle has ended once and for all any pretense that I could possibly maintain my anonymity. So, let me introduce myself: I am Luna [Redacted], Princess of the Diarchy of Equestria, Lord Protectress of Planet Equestria (in name-only, and not respected by most ponies, much less anybody outside the diarchy), and a long series of other titles even less credible than that one. Formerly Nightmare Moon (if a background check is required), currently Equestrian Ambassador at Large to the Sapient Species of Planet Earth, Including But Not Exclusive to the Breed Known as Humanity (I think that one is in need of some trimming). And, finally and most-recently, an author of historical fiction.
By some sort of bizarre scheduling phenomenon that not even I understand, I seem to have the free time to write this odd fantasia of a story based on the life and personality of my dear sister. I predict that for this act I will be the victim of constant attack, but I see this as but a small fraction of the burden I bear as a princess, “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”, as your playwright Shakespeare put it some 400+ years ago. [That is acceptable in English writing, yes? Putting 400 in numerals rather than spelling it out, and following it by a mathematical symbol, no less? McPoodle, please confirm or deny at your earliest—oh.] This time, I am inviting the abuse because of my own amusement instead of as a way to lessen the burden on another. That just means that I must watch out vigorously for the character flaw of overindulgence. This story is a great deal of fun to write, but there is much that precedes it in priority.
But do not fear that I will abandon this story, dear readers. No, regardless of any Equestrian insults (which I will henceforth strive to keep from marring your reading of each chapter), I will persevere. At least, until such time as my sister Celestia tells me to stop. She knows full well that I am writing this, but has so far refused to read it until it has finished. She has assured me that I have every right to pen (or type) a fiction about her, the same right of free expression granted to the poorest pony, dragon or Diamond Dog in Equestria.
Finally, on the subject of reviews on miscellaneous topics. I don’t know if I will write another, after the backlash created by that last one. I will think the matter over, and give you my decision one way or another—I was pleased to see that my words were found to be rewarding by at least some of my readers.
Oh and speaking of readers, I welcome Twilight Sparkle to the list of this story’s followers (no, I won’t tell you which account she uses). Although I do suspect that Miss Sparkle only found this story because of a “bot” programmed to find her own name in fanfictions, considering the timing of her subscription. So do not worry, Twilight: you have not seen the last appearance of a Sparkle in my story.
[Author McPoodle here. You know, the one who actually exists in the Real World(tm)? Anyway, the true point of this little episode was to provide an in-universe justification for the pace of chapter postings slowing down. In reality, I just bought my first house, and I expect to spend the next month mostly offline, moving out of my apartment and getting everything set up. It might not be as fun as an “enforced Equestrian vacation”, but it’s just as fulfilling to me. Just as my pony mouthpiece said, this story isn’t being abandoned—Hope and I have a lot more to cover.]
Congrats on the house.
I shall be watching.
Congrats on the enforced vacation.
A pleasure to read your work Your Highness!
Dammit, pony press
No other author I know feels the need to provide in-universe justifications for the story's update rate. It's like you're the literary equivalent of a method actor. These blogs fascinate me.
Ah, sensationalist media. The newsprint equivalent of Amadeus, never letting the truth get in the way of a good story.
Take however much time you need, Your Highness. After all, the less time you have to write the story, the more you need for other duties.
(And good luck with the move, Poodle.
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Agreed. They're one of my favorite parts of McPoodle's work. He doesn't restrict his world to the stories.
OOC: Well seeing how there is now real statements of that we cannot ask questions (Single questions I assume) to the "Writer" of this blog.
Well, wow, an honor to have be reading the works of a most interesting word smith, I have to say, I am sorry that this has happened, but I did enjoy your take on Amadeus. A most interesting movie about a most interesting time. (As for getting facts along, that has been a long, long standing tradition for Hollywood to take a historical event and... utterly disparage it.)
Anyway, I for one would enjoy hearing more takes on our culture from your eyes. If you want any suggestions, why not go for the heart of what I consider some of the United State's movie Identity, a Western, either by John Wayne or Roy Rogers. Also these folks were staring in another part of US Movie icons, the World War Two movies. Anyway, I hope you do not mind a small suggestion.
I also recently bought my first house.
:( property taxes.