Present Perfect vs. The Spiderses · 4:05pm Feb 12th, 2014
Deciding to review this story today because knighty read it during the charity livestream. I have to admit, this reader leaves something to be desired. His continual looking back and forth between the story and the game lead to some awkward pauses, not to mention the annoying Poultronlittle girl in the background who keeps talking over him. Going to give this guy a reluctant pass. (Secondary reading by Mic the Microphone. Third reading by WhoLandon.)
Anyway, to get the full effect of Argembarger's magnum opus, The Spiderses, it's worth reading it yourself. This is the story that put the concept of trollfiction front and center in the pre-season 2 brony zeitgeist. The reason why is actually a little personal for me.
See, once upon a time, the pre-readers felt like trolling EQD.
Seriously, that's it. Argembarger sent this story to Equestria Daily and the comment thread quickly became GUYS YOU HAVE TO READ THIS THIS IS HILARIOUS. We'd never seen anything like it before and were just floored at how ridiculously awful it was. But it was a very special kind of awful that evoked the same sort of enjoyment as watching a B-movie. We thought it would be a hilarious idea to put it up with a bunch of fanfare. We got Seth to make the "Equestria Daily Seal of Excellence" and the GODLIKE tag, there were a ton of facetious pre-reader quotes, and the readers were so, so very confused. (Sadly, all the comments were purged when the comment system switched over. :( )
Strangely, this hasn't stopped people from falling for the same trick on two separate occasions afterward. <.<
But that's part of what a good troll is all about: evoking a strong emotional reaction from people. Generally, what's required for this is breaking expectations, and so inconsistency is a hallmark of good trollfiction. Stories like Nothing Gold Can Stay accomplish the first point without the second, essentially throwing a twist ending that is only tonally inconsistent. The Spiderses turns inconsistency into a way of life.
For starters, there's the tags. This story was written prior to Fimfiction's founding (in fact, the EQD post only lists Deviantart and Pastebin sources), but after importing it there, Argembarger made sure to mess with the reader immediately upon opening the page. You've got the classic Adventure/Slice of Life matchup, along with no mention of comedy or randomness. An unsuspecting person will be entirely unprepared for what lies within, just as with all the ridiculous buildup on EQD. Of course, the goal is to make the aware reader suspicious enough of the amount of praise or the number of tags that they wonder if maybe, just maybe, something isn't up, and then get in on the joke themselves.
But even if you're able to get in on this story's joke, you're in for a ride.
The next inconsistency is of course the writing itself, and this is where a self-reading comes in handy. All convention is broken: spelling and grammar are thrown out the window, sometimes in mind-boggling ways, chapter titles included ("Thirdely hapens"?); obvious things are pointed out in great detail while "magic happens"; there is no characterization; there is no pacing; the POV shifts without warning. Incoherence is front and center. This is a hallmark of what we might term in this fandom the "Argembarger-style trollfic", but in actuality, you can trace Spiderses' lineage back to squirrelking, author of such classics as Half-Life: Full Life Consequences. His works are inspiring, bundles of absurd idiocy that make you wonder whether a person can be that insane or just that bad at English for that long. Argembarger does put his own personal spin on the style, and this story is no less quotable for it ("he slided away like a dragon"; that ridiculously convoluted metaphor about crunchy potato chips).
(Oh god help now I'm watching all of these videos.)
Sorry if this is incoherent, but I'm recovering from an illness and I might have forgotten to take my allergy pill this morning, so I'm feeling kind of woozy. I figure given the subject matter, it's fitting. Where was I? Right, incoherence.
The brilliant thing is, even the incoherence is inconsistent. This is how The Spiderses results in one of most effective trolls ever: by having a section written entirely normally. Those readers who thought they were in on the joke are going to be questioning their sanity by that point. Let's look at the plot.
First, we start off with Twilight Fucking Up a Spell and turning herself into a spider. Okay, that's a Thing that could have been written back in 2011, it's reasonable. Then suddenly Big Macintosh is also a spider, and we have full plottal meltdown. There is spider sex, there are spider babies, Spike gets eaten, and everything is put right by a ridiculous spider OC, who amazingly isn't the worst OC in the story, that role being taken by the hilarious author-insert alicorn. (Seriously, even in a post-Twilicorn world, why are people still making alicorn OCs after The Spiderses? We don't need any others!) Though honestly, other than the fact that no one in their right mind would be able to guess at any of the events in this story, the plot may be the most coherent part. It makes sense, after reading all of that, for the main problem to be solved via deus ex machina. The sex fits in. The spider babies fit in. (Spike though, that's truly amazing. I mean, the spider babies barf him back to life, it's absolutely my favorite part of the story.)
I don't know what my point is anymore. I was gonna make some more boldy text about what makes trollfiction work, but I forgot it. I truly adore this story and I've patterned many of my own after it. Knowing Argembarger like I do, he is exactly the sort of person you would expect to write a story like The Spiderses, and it's a shame he's not active anymore.
STARS COUNT: BIGGER AND 8/5
Did you expect anything less? This is a perfectly-executed trollfic, what more do you want?
I dunno. If the exact same story came out today, I wouldn't think it was funny. I've seen too many awful stories for their awfulness to be funny anymore.
1826630
Timing had a lot to do with it, yes.
In contrast, 'Trollfics' now-a-days are really no wit, all insults.
lol
1826630
1826673
it's also got something to do with how most writers just aren't actually that good, and to write good terrible, you have to be either a) really, mind-numbingly oblivious to how bad you are (like the room) or you have to be actually pretty good so you can know where to go wrong for maximum effect.
Most people are good enough to be terrible, full stop.
though present, how could you only give this five stars? I think this deserves 8 stars. but... 8 stars aren't enough. they have to be be bigger and eight.
I'm curious how much you rate Edinpony's involvement. Any thoughts?
You and I obviously have very different reactions to this. I'd call it a pretty poor trollfic, because to me, a trollfic should, as you put it, evoke a strong emotional reaction from people. As far as I can tell, most of the strong emotional reactions surrounding this fic stem from it being on EqD, and people grousing about/boggling at/ going "lolwhat" over that. That's not a reaction to the story; it's a reaction to where it was posted. As for the story itself... well, it didn't elicit any real reaction from me. Honestly, I found it kind of boring; I feel like Argembarger forgot the difference between parody and mimicry here, so what we get is a bunch of intentional errors which don't shed any particular insight into what separates a well-edited fic from a poorly-edited one, an alicorn OC who is frankly a lot less ridiculous than numerous "serious" ones I've encountered, etc.
I mean, I don't even strongly dislike the story; it was just a very blah experience, reading it. And I think that's the exact antithesis of what it should have been.
I have issues with being able to enjoy trollfics like this simply because 95% of the stuff I read from my students would therefore be counted as trolling.
That said, the Rainbow Dash Presents version of this is awesomeness on a silver platter.
That's because 95% of your students are trolling you.
(The other 5% said "no".
)
1826861
oh shit you're right
too bad everyone's read the journal already and will miss the joke :(
1826905
I actually didn't know Edin was involved. :O
1827315
Oh, so now you like romance and hate trollfics, is that it? :V
Honestly, the primary reaction that this story should provide is "published fics shouldn't look like that". And regardless of where it's posted, especially now, this is amplified by the large amounts of praise it receives.
1827410
ESL teacher? :B (Why do I know so many, now of all times?)
Thing is, there's a real systematicity to non-native errors versus the kind of off-the-wall randomized errors that you find in Argembarger and squirrelking fics. I've seen fics that are very obviously from non-native writers; the kinds of errors they make are very different from native speakers who just aren't that good at writing. Then you get something like this and, again, it's inconsistent. There's no pattern to the pattern of improper usage, which sets it apart.
Which is, of course, no reason to feel bad for not liking this kind of story. :)
1827315
I've also found that there's a very disparate spectrum of what people find funny in a badfic. Personally, I like stories where the grammar is impeccable and the word choice great, but the plot does so many awful things that you find yourself wondering how such a good wordsmith could go so wrong in premise. I've written one mini story like this, and had another story that contains several. I also got complaints that several readers would have expected more spelling errors, one going so far as to tell me and my editor that we were "better than this" after first conceding that he just doesn't enjoy particular kinds of humor.
Humor's already a very fickle and personal thing, and what people find funny about bad writing is even more so.
1828133 I heard mention from Ohio Bronies that he helped edit into the masterpiece that it now is.
1827410
Students are the greatest source of trolling ever invented; I once had a kid forget to bring a permission slip to participate in an activity, and instead he gave me a note... written in pencil... in his handwriting... on a scrap of scratch paper from the classroom... which read "I lost the permission slip, but ____ can go. Love, Ma."
I kid you not, he handed it to me with a straight face.
1828133
I've advanced to meta-liking; I only enjoy things when I know that doing so will frustrate you :)
Also, how many of us ESL folk do you know?
1828156
I've seen stories use grammar errors for genuinely humorous effect, but they're the exception rather than the rule. As for my taste in trollfics, Duke Lionheart remains my gold standard, whatever that says about me.
1828182
He deserves significant props. I don't think I could have helped 'edit' this myself. c.c Will have to mention it next I see him.
1828265
Well, I know everyone I got the degree alongside, but considering I never went into the field professionally, you'd think I wouldn't keep meeting TESL people online. <.< But it's probably around ten on this site alone.
Alas, we aren't allowed to write like that anymore.