Am I Out of Bounds to Get Offended? · 12:37am Nov 23rd, 2013
How far does the excuse 'it's the internet' stretch? Legitimate question here: how far are we, as a reasonable human beings, supposed to just accept rudeness and offensiveness before it becomes 'acceptable' to take offence in a permissive medium like the internet? Manners aren’t cool, apparently, and I, for one, am sick to the back teeth and beyond by it.
Earlier this evening I received a comment on one of my comic dubs on YouTube. I'll admit, it's not one of my better performances. With the clarity of hindsight, my throat wasn't healed enough from illness to handle Rainbow Dash's voice at the time and it shows – badly. That said, upon receiving the comment 'It sounds like RD has cancer!' I got a little gut-jolt. Maybe it's because of my family history with cancer and a breast cancer scare I went through myself a few years ago, but I took offence at the 'witticism' of someone using something like that in an attempt to compete with all the other commenters and their creative ways of telling me the voice work sucks. I rarely (like, ever) respond to comments like this (though I will let them stay on the page to keep me humble and remind me not to cut corners in future works). On this occasion, however, I felt compelled to say that while the commenter was correct in that the voice work was rubbish, I found the comparison s/he had made to be atrocious and offensive.
The response?
+ObabScribbler Whatever your feeling about my comment (Welcome to the internet) this was atrocious thing to do to a chariter which of as a MLP fan im really insulted and offended this is still fucking horrid thanks for pissing people off on youtube and posting a video trying to fucking my favorite series.
Now, leaving aside the total lack of grammar, spelling ... well, the whole SPAG shebang, the thing that got me about this was the intolerance (I think I just got accused of 'trying to fuck with' MLP as a whole with a sub-par dub of a comic that celebrates bonds of family in those not related by blood) and the 'welcome to the internet' comment.
So then, ARE we so accepting of online slurs and casual offensiveness that it is de rigeur to ignore them? Is pointing them out as offensive now, in its own way, offensive? This is not the first time I have been told to lighten up when I remark that there are some lines that, if you’re going to cross them, you’d better be careful about how you do it. I'm not a prude, repressed or anything else people can think to name me. My favourite comic of all time is Something Positive, which makes off-colour topics all the time. I adore the .MOV series and own the entire DVD released repertoire of Frankie Boyle and Bill Hicks. I know that their material is offensive, and I have winced a few times (especially at Boyle’s weird preoccupation with his gran) and yet somehow I’m not actually offended by it.
Maybe what I'm actually bothered by is context. The context of *SP, .MOV and stand-up comedians is to derive humour from taboo subjects and show up the ridiculousness of societal taboos by ‘saying Zeus’s name in vain to prove the lack of a lightning bolt to the tush’. The context of the YouTube commenter wasn’t entertainment, just one-upmanship, and that pressed my ‘I has an offenz!’ buttons where the rest had not.
Or maybe this week has just gotten to me and I'm too tired to deal with bollocks like this anymore. My mum’s surgery had complications and she haemorrhaged quite badly post-op (I’m talking ‘fountain of blood’ while lying down in her bed). She’s going to live but getting the phone-call ‘Come to the hospital now!’ is a great leveller for dealing with life’s manifold turd-landmines. I listened to a fanfic reading today in which a reader I quite like spent the first five-plus minutes before the fic itself ranting about Cupcakes. Fine and dandy - everyone entitled to their opinion. However, when he started saying how people had asked him for advice on how to cope with the trauma and aftereffects of reading Cupcakes and how it had adversely affected them, I wanted to throw my .mp3 player into the canal. Trauma? From reading a fanfic? Oh do please grow some cojones and stop whinging about things.
Upon which notes I shall do that.
Uh, stop whinging, I mean. Not grow cojones.
...
Shutting up now.
I usually just chalk such inane talk up to trolls and children. You can see it in the writing. These are the "cool people" of the Internet, really. You can't reason with them, you can't explain the delight they take in other's misery... or, I can't at least. They just... are. You kind of have to have a thick skin when you're as big as you are on Youtube. If someone who wants to troll you reads this, then you can bet it'll just keep on coming.
I don't think you're wrong in being offended and frustrated by the lack of moral fiber on the intertubes, but I do think you may be taking it a bit too personally. This person doesn't know you. Hell, they probably don't even live in the same country as you do. Stuff like this just runs off my back like water on a duck. I'd advise you to just turn the other cheek and ignore it the best you can. (I know it's a tall order when it feels like it struck so close to home. Those are the most jarring comments.)
Don't let it get to you, Scribbler. Just 'cause some asshat felt like raising a stink doesn't mean you should feel bummed out about it. If he wants to miss out on your work, it's only his loss. If he pulls it again, I'd just block him.
Sorry I can't offer more moral support than that. I hope you feel better, though.
EDIT: My deepest sympathies for your mother as well. I wasn't initially sure if you wanted to embark on another road off-topic to the blog entry, but I thought it just as well to wish you (and her) good luck.
Keep your spirits up, Scribbs. We all love ya.
My good, kind, lovely dear Obabscribbler,
There is something you need to learn when faced with such comments from people.
You need to learn how to tell them to shut the fuck up, or else you'll hunt them down, and stick your whatever-size boot up their fragile bony buttholes.
Just think of this the next time somebody puts an inappropriate comment on your Youtube videos...
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/295/0/f/uniqueskd___why_i_like_internet_trolls_haters_by_uniqueskd-d6rfabc.jpg
Oh, and show them this, if things get out of hand...
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/258/4/3/uniqueskd_says____by_uniqueskd-d6mh5dk.png
Just remember; UniqueSKD got your back! Nobody fuck with UniqueSKD's friends! NOBODY!
The drama storm surrounding my most infamous story--that is, the one you did a reading of--taught me a valuable lesson: life is too short to waste trying to reason with toxic people. It's not hard for someone of your intelligence to tell a toxic person from a legitimate critic. So just block 'em and delete any comment that takes up too much space.
Incidentally, I'm glad to hear your mother survived. I didn't mention it before, but I was concerned when I read your last words about it.
On another note, I'm surprised you like Something Positive, since a lot of the people who hated the ending of "Monsters" share *SP's author's views on religion.
*shrug*
It's not so much acceptance as it is dealing with the fact that some people are shitheads and determining whether it's actually worth your time and effort to argue with them.
Most of the time I find that it isn't, so I let them spew and disregard them.
Taking offense is always a personal thing, each person has a different level of tolerance for any given subject and that is fine. This person was trying to offend you. Since he did not know you, he went with something that would offend the largest number of people he could, hoping you would be among them. The garbage people spout on the internet is not "OK" but unfortunately anonymity brings out the worst of human nature. "Welcome to the internet" is just another way of saying "There's nothing you can do to stop me."
As for disliking your dub and being traumatized by "Cupcakes," if they don't like it stop reading/listening. The number of people who's sensibilities and mental state are actually so delicate that they can be traumatized by reading fanfics is finitely small. Most of them are in mental hospitals and none of them would be reading fanfics anyway. These people are just being over dramatic, they are the Rarity's of the world, words can't hurt you if you don't let them.
I'm sorry you and your Mom had to go through that, I hope she recovers quickly and remains well.
To make up for the seriousness of my post, here is a Derpy
Some people are just vile, no other way of putting it out there, no matter what excuses they make, no matter how hard they try to hide it, some people are just overwhelmingly unpleasant. I'd probably make a detailed proposition that your commenter was a stunted man-child, but that would be uncouth, his reasons- "This is the internet"- is no real excuse, but honestly you aren't going to get anything different out of him, especially considering he is probably on the other side of the world.
As for the "trauma" of Cupcakes... Good god, is that even a thing? a serious legitimate THING? its at best poorly developed pulp fiction with boring levels of gore fetishism! Sometimes I wonder about the brony community, I really do... then again I write MLP Cosmic Horror, so who am I to judge the squeamish nature of die-hard MLP fans.
Although your mothers condition is worrying -hemorrhaging is never good-, it does sound somewhat more promising than before when she had 30%, I hope she makes a full recovery, you have my best wishes for a swift recuperation.
No plane and simple just because we are on the internet and the internet has porn dos not mean we should have free rain to be rude and uncouth
(however offering helpful criticism wile a hit to ones ego can help us grow
) there are lines when your talking to someone face to face that you don't cross(manners) leavening a comment should be the same the fact that some people act as they do simply show's a lack of respect for themselves and the person they where rude to sad as that is to say
I love your work after I became a brony your story telling's are some of the first fan fics I ever had the pleasure of hearing
You were out of bounds to get offended by that in the first place as, quite frankly, saying "X sounds like they have cancer" isn't offensive.
It isn't even just about the internet; it is about reality. Being able to shrug off insults is a valuable skill and some people have severe issues with dealing with criticism or negativity of any sort, in real life or otherwise. Some people have the issue in general, while others just have buttons, but you have to realize, your own buttons are no more special than anyone else's.
The internet may have a lot of nastiness on it, but honestly, while GIFT applies, in truth people aren't any better in real life, they just tend to be less public about it unless they're in large groups. Watch something like Fox News or Bill Maher and you can see people saying really outrageous things, as bad or worse than many internet comments.
1530580
Regarding Monsters, the reason I personally disliked the story (though I think it was well-written) was that it just felt like an excuse to punch the reader right in the gut. I mean, a story that punches you in the gut, that's good... but when the story is just an excuse to do so, that doesn't make me feel very happy. The story definitely made me feel terrible after reading it (which is good, as it is meant to), I just didn't feel like it was justified existing, I guess.
And for the record, I do actually enjoy SP.
1530585 what you say is true and more times then not I just ignore it but from time to time it dos get a bit much I myself have gotten a few comments about my comments learn to use grammar don't use English till you know how to use(I fined that bit funny and a pain as this is my native tongue I just never payed any mind to it in school and now pay the price) point is if I have one I don't really remember is that rude people suck so much it makes me sad at times because I pity the poor fools that have to try and make others feel as they do
This the social media age, the age of crude, aggressive , narcissistic behavior that's being manufactured by technology which is increasing our detachment from reality, morals, mannerism, and humanity. Empathy is human progression, but continues to be hindered by human nature. In short: Fuck 'em.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother and I hope that her condition improves.
Wow. That commenter was a... Yeah, I don't actually have a word foul enough to describe people like that. An inevitable problem when mixing ***holes with anonymity, I suppose.
On a side note, trying to decipher the nightmarish grammatical quagmire of that _____'s (insert whatever foul epithet you please in the blank space) comment nearly made me physically ill. You would think that, in a world where literally the entirety of human knowledge is seconds away, basic understanding of the english language would not be so bizarrely rare. I respect you even more for somehow managing to find any meaning in that vile pit of madness.
Stay awesome Scribbler. Hope everything works out for you.
My sympathy about your mother. I wish you both the best of luck.
About the comments: ignore them. It sounds trite, but really, just ignore them. It's not turning the other cheek or growing a thicker skin or being the bigger (metaphorical) man. It's very simply refusing to waste your time and mental energy on trying to take such rubbish seriously. Comments like the one in question may be rude and uncalled for—or hit a little too close to home—but they're also utterly, completely, supremely stupid. They're not worth the effort of getting upset over or even paying attention to in the first place.
Think of it this way: if a cow pie tried to insult you, would you really be upset at it? No matter what it says, you can ignore it and go on your merry way, while it, poor thing, is still going to be a pile of shit sitting in a muddy field with flies crawling all over it.
To answer the title question, yes and no. Cancer is a very serious issue, and that person crossed the line by comparing a bad performance to a life-threatening illness. That said, it was not ideal to react. Some people are just jerks, and the number one thing that makes those people worse is when you point out that they're jerks. They'll either get mad or they'll enjoy it; either way, they'll say more offensive things to make you mad.
As far as your life news... It certainly isn't great that your mom had a hemmorhage, but she did survive a surgery where her odds of survival were not good. That is one major problem that she's gotten through. I'm poorly informed, but maybe it's the worst step along the way.
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See, that's a legit criticism. If pain was all you got from it, then there's something about my writing I should improve.
(Sorry for going off-topic, Scribs.)
Normally, I tend to enjoy some of the more mean-spirited parts of the web. Hell, some of my favorite sites are the likes of the satirical Encyclopedia Dramatica, known for not pulling any punches when they berate race, religion, fandoms, people, etc. If someone is offended that others can be so bitter towards them, I usually remind them that the world isn't a pretty place, and that there's always a risk of being insulted online if they put themselves out there. In other words, I would tell them to suck it up, and don't let a few bad apples to stop them from enjoying what they do.
However, I agree with you on that response but for a different reason. The whole response came off as being unnecessary negative, but what bothered me is the whole "its the internet" excuse (cancer jokes aren't really that bad in my book). A Youtuber who goes by the alias of ReviewTechUSA, once mentioned that there is something wrong with a person if they use the "its the internet" excuse to justify their attitude. The internet is like a drink in a sense that it can show someone's true colors, and that its an easy way for them to spew out insults to hide their own insecurities, without the fear of being physically attacked. Worst part is that these people somehow believe their words have weight behind them, just because they pulled out the internet card. That right there, actually makes me worry about the general state of folks out there, if they have no problem posting that kind of stuff.
I digress, I don't think playing the victim is going to help much for your case. If you intend to make these kind of folks dwarf in their numbers, making a blog about your frustration with them, is a much less ideal way to deal with them. Stand up for yourself by responding to some of these people, tell them to buzz off or that they should come up with saying something better if they plan on being whiny about someone making vids.
Now that was just my two cents on how I would prefer to deal with these people. I understand if being condescending towards them wouldn't sit right with you. Regardless, I believe that dealing with these people in an assertive but polite tone, can do good in one way.
I also give my sympathies to your mother. Best of luck to her.
Ouch...sorry to hear about your mother. And don't worry about 'whining.' We all need to let out steam sometimes.
As for the "it's the internet" excuse...really I find it BS just as much as "but we didn't really mean it." Because someone else is being a dick doesn't give you the excuse to be one as well.
Also...just how much people get offended by "bad work" is just...ugg. Honestly I'd love to see 5% of people who trash something actually try to do it any better. It's one thing to know that somethings not good...but honestly have some respect for the people that are working hard and actually trying.
...and honestly your work couldn't be half as bad as my own attempt...you know the one I sent in to you...the one you have. Feel free to show it to people to shut 'em up about 'bad work.' Honestly...I totally forgot everything, just everything. All my acting training forgotten in a moment...just thinking of those recordings make me shiver. No pre-beat, given circumstances, 'what's my relationship,' what is my goal, or any of that stuff. Oh dear...it was bad (as I'm sure you're well aware.)
Hmmm... Strange. I'm sort of new to your work, but I have never stumble a commenter that negative towards you in any of your audio readings or stories. While I don't have any good advice to say that hasn't been said already, just remember for every jackhole that there is, you will certainly have at least 50 other people that will enjoy your work
Personally, I gave up trying to understand why others can be so mean to people they have never met a long time ago. However, I still wonder what the heck happened to constructive criticism in certain places on the interwebs and in life in general. Oh well, at least this site is relatively tame when it comes to unnecessary criticism.