Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #88 · 6:30pm Nov 13th, 2023
Fluttershy: "Oh, um, today is World Kindness Day. Ghost Mike would give you all a hug of appreciation, but his kind has difficulty doing that with the living. So he asked me to help. Which I was only too happy to, Kindness being my Element and all.
So, let those you love know how much they mean, and do something nice for them. It'll be worth it."
The day caught me off guard, but yep, Fluttershy is right. And in this fandom, I think we owe it to each other to show as much kindness as we can, no?
November is shaping up to be a busy enough month for me, as they go. Not in an overtly hectic way, but I’ve found myself with several ongoing tasks that, while not pressing, can’t really be dropped. Caught me enough off guard that I slacked a bit on Ponyfic reading in the last week, though I have enough of a buffer now (50+ stories and 400K+) that it wasn’t an issue.
That said, they are, if not exciting enough to make any meat out of for this blurb – on top of the usual Ponyfic reading/reviewing, trying to write at least a little, and some therapeutic gaming, there’s some editing – there’s at least the matter of Christmas shopping considerations. I don’t know about you guys, but picking out gifts for people without provided gift lifts (something my family doesn’t really traffic in at all) is very hard for me: I always want it to feel really special and not cookie-cutter, and prefer practical things over something one-time that will be consumed. So if I can, I start brainstorming early. Nothing yet, but it’s early days, it can’t hurt.
Another light week this week: the early casualty of semi-regular novels now is some shorter weeks, though that should smooth out once I have enough of them in the backlog. Also, I continue the trend of being woefully late, with yet another fic I really should have had for Halloween two weeks ago. Last one; any others I’ll hold for any old month past Christmas.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Adult Education by Hedonism Bot
The Art And Zen Of Learning Absolutely Nothing by Estee
Relinquishing by Chris
Goats of Summer by SparklingTwilight
Morsel of Truth by Pen Stroke
Weekly Word Count: 27,564 Words
Adult Education by Hedonism Bot
[No Cover Image]
Genre: Comedy/Slice of Life (w/Sex)
Pipp, Sunny, Izzy, Sprout, Posey
1,000 Words
August 2023
The pony tribes reuniting meant each had something to share that the others lacked. For the pegasi, this meant the wonders of the internet, and Pipp has gladly taken up the mantle to educate the earth ponies and unicorns on what it is and how to use it. Given how much her life relies on it, she’s very excited for this, and certain nothing can go wrong.
For a fic I would not have normally read (I clicked on it out of curiosity while doing a browse to see if any recent Sprout stories looked halfway decent, and by the time I copped what kind of fic this was, I was halfway through, and reckoned I might as well finish), it’s not as tasteless as it could have been. The puns/punchlines of the seemingly innocent phrases that ponies click on that take them to… lewd acts, are pretty corny and obvious, but I did smile. The early buildup is cheerily optimistic beyond just contrasting what comes later, and the fic doesn’t dip into the NSFW parts of these searches beyond what is needed to get the jokes across. And it breaks in the middle for a logical part of this reunification. So there’s something resembling energy and good cheer that makes the subject matter kinda fly.
Being that this is from a first-time author writing a whole story in 1,000 words, the prose is somewhat shapeless in its pivoting and flow, and rather gives up towards the end in building up the reveals organically. But it sufficed for its length, which is often better than such “ha, the internet is full of stuff that you really should have a safe search filter on for” fics manage (the moral of the fic, so the good taste continues). So one I didn’t regret reading, even if I can’t exactly recommend it. Not too bad a fate.
Rating: Passable
The Art And Zen Of Learning Absolutely Nothing by Estee
Genre: Slice of Life (w/Sex, mild mention)
Sprout, Mane 5
9,798 Words
October 2023
Sprout is fed up. He’s the only one who truly understood the threat of other ponies. Yet all his efforts got him was a criminal record and community service, all while more and more pegasi and unicorns moved into his city. With the potential of one day running Canterlogic long gone, nopony standing by him, and those who used to associate with him largely keeping their distance now, it’s up to him to show that it’s proper and right to be constantly afraid (cause it means somepony can lead them – somepony like him). With wings and horns no longer an option to install fear, it falls to find something else.
You may notice, despite the blurb indicating a kind of “foolish idiot trying to do good by his standards” kind of farce, the lack of a comedy tag. Estee admitted on the Patreon post for this story that it started off as one, but the story started doing the “Dance of the Tags” during production, and the further the fic dug into Sprout being the hero of his own story, the more he felt like a horribly sad character, a pitiful one even. I’m not always on the same level as Estee’s idyllically cynical worldview as applied in Ponyfic, but by god, did this fic ever fully sell that. There is still a fair share of comedy along the way, and not all of it is of the tragic variety (Izzy’s one moment is perfect), but it is largely a fic of the sobering kind.
There’s two stances to consider here. On the other hand, Sprout is treated like garbage – passing ponies regard him as the worst kind of nuisance; it’s implied the Mane 5 don’t even acknowledge him; his mother Phyllis, after using her influence to comparatively bury the fallout under the headlines of them coming back, has totally cut off ties with him. And he does his community service wearing a shock collar on his leg that prevents any wandering (I got the weirdest flashbacks to earlier versions of Zootopia, and those weren’t goosebumps I expected or wanted to have again). Even with his established character, that sounds horrible and undeserved, if not out of place for an Estee fic.
On the other hand, Sprout is so up his own butt here that any possible degree of viewer sympathy or empathy never lasts. His narration is convincing for how sickening it is, though thankfully well-crafted so the viewer always grasps the reality and truth being his perverted views and unreliable narration. As he goes over what he thinks the new radio tower truly does (not the phone signal stuff the pegasi claim), blaming it for his dreams of sexy mares now including ponies not of the earth variety, the implication of how far he’ll stretch his beliefs to fight believing in the unity everyone else does is something else. Add to that what happens when a son of a rich person who’s hardly ever had to do anything for himself is cut off and left to fend for himself, and the sad and pitiful undercurrents that run here are deep.
I was thinking throughout, off how little direct dialogue interaction there was, that surely the way the others, especially the Mane 5, were implied to have regarded him now, couldn’t be right. An exaggeration in his mind, it had to be. Yet when they save the day from the problem he causes in a fool’s attempt to get back into pony’s good graces, the way he lashes out at Hitch being concerned for him again at first really just justifies their largely callous attitude.
I’m not sure how I feel about all this, for however deep it hit. It is largely convincing and credible, (excepting Phyllis’ off-page dismissal, something I’m sure flew better when this was an out-and-out comedy – the fic doesn’t elaborate even on Sprout’s view of why this happened). Above all else, it really opened up for me why I still have yet to read a Sprout fic that clicked – his film depiction means all but the most skilled attempts to reform him or get him back in the Mane 5’s good graces will feel artificial (I tried enough of those fics to now steer clear of such without trustable endorsements), and with how lame a threat he is, that largely leaves just buffoonery comedy one-shots, which dried up in enthusiasm for folks to write fast (look no further than Misty and Opaline having more fics than him only a year to his two). Yet largely because few can do idyllically cynical tones like Estee can, I hadn’t considered this approach before.
Ultimately, I don’t know how much I properly enjoyed this, but it was a vivid, sobering experience. Let that be your guide on whether to read it.
Rating: Decent
Relinquishing by Chris
Genre: Sad (?)
Twilight, Celestia
1,053 Words
September 2016
Once a year, Celestia and Luna step aside to let a group of twenty hoof-picked unicorns raise and lower the sun and moon for a day. It’s considered a great honour, a chance to leave your mark on history, to have official recognition that you are a powerful unicorn. It’s something Twilight’s been gung-ho on for her whole life.
Now she’s old enough to be eligible… but she still can’t do it.
Excuse the Sad tag, it’s more melancholy than anything. I can’t really look at this fic without spoiling at least some of it, though you probably already guessed why Twilight can’t participate. It’s certainly an interesting idea, positing its fair share in the notion of dashed dreams as a result of unexpected surprises that changed one’s life for the better otherwise, and learning to live with it. And the headcanon within, not least the reason for the tradition in the first place, is a very convincing one. I certainly accepted it without question.
The piece is a very simple one, pretty much ending on the direct reveal of the true reason for why Twilight is sad she can’t participate, after a few hundred words of her and Celestia exchanging pleasant banter on the subject. This does, arguably, rob it of some impact, as the fic is too matter-of-fact for such a reveal to do much for me coming right at the end like that. Regardless, while more of a concept tease than anything, the fic does everything else it sets out to do, enough to be impressive irrespective of its short length and rather objective perspective.
Rating: Pretty Good
Goats of Summer by SparklingTwilight
Genre: Comedy/Slice of Life (w/Sex & Narcotics)
Lightning Dust, Fiddlesticks, Bulk Biceps
11,478 Words
July 2022
Fiddlesticks does love being a counsellor at Summer Friendship Camp, so she’ll be a little sad to go after this one, too old to come back again. But it’s shaping up to be one to remember, albeit not for the intended reasons. A prior fling she left, Bulk Biceps, now being her senior counsellor, is certainly awkward, but by far the bigger sore is the absolute stone-headed chaotic jerk who’s a counsellor, a certain Lightning Dust. Oh boy…
Simple blurb, chaotic story. I’m not sure where to even start. Well, what happens isn’t hard to explain: we bounce around with Fiddlesticks (the Octavia recolour from “Apple Family Reunion”; this fic was written for a contest just for this crack pairing of her and Lightning Dust), as she tries to keep things running smoothly for the kids, having awkward moments with Bulk, and gets more infuriated with Lightning. With goats in the backdrop, as they own the grounds the camp is on. The story often uses fragmented scenes in Fiddlesticks’ perspective to jump around, skipping by things that matter less (the actual campers aren’t even really characters here), and does the usual thing of having disparate characters threads build and coalesce satisfyingly at the end. That’s all pretty clear. And even some of Sparkling’s odder decisions, like lots of links to things as unneeded as word definitions (the song/music links are at least common practice for this immersion-breaking decision), or a leaning on sex and drugs in the backstories rather more than is strictly needed, don’t really mark it out.
Largely, it’s the delivery of the fic, done in a manner that undoubtedly works and makes for a memorable fic, but left me more winded than immersed. Fiddlesticks’ perspective is so tight that grammar and writing style are very fast and loose, accentuating character and scenes dramatically. Direct explanations are thin on the ice, and not just in favour of showing or promoting reader inference, but complicated wording that requires the reader to mull things over. All the while, mood and tone fluctuate from brittle barbs to very serious character trauma; apart from Bulk’s issues and Lightning having past traumas, Fiddlesticks is a deeply anxious mare, sometimes getting headaches that require her to excuse herself.
Is all this good? I’m not even sure. It’s a little bonkers, and often not in a charming way. But it is distinctive, and one I do feel should be considered for reading even though I’m not sure I enjoyed it all that much. The character voicing is something else once you get into it, and the evolving character relationships are magnetic for how perverted they are. I’ll call that a conditional win!
Rating: Decent
Morsel of Truth by Pen Stroke
Genre: Slice of Life
Mane 6
4,235 Words
October 2016Reread
Ponyville has just paid host to yet another successful Nightmare Night, one with no surprises now Luna is a regular part of the festivities, and the old legends of the night dismissed. Yet all legends have to come from somewhere, have to have some truth to them. So when, after everyone has gone home, a filly wearing only a white sheet comes a-knockin’ for something sweet to bite, it may be more than just a foal out late.
This story is the reverse of what is normal convention and wisdom, in that the horror aspect is more prominent at the story’s start than at the end. It’s in a way that fits, though: the mysterious filly goes around visiting the Mane 6 who all, for one reason or another, don’t have any candy for her, and while they get less intense as they go on, the increasing pace of the segments and differences in how they reach the same end result as the prior one (in a manner that will have the reader be like “don’t do that, that’s how it went bad last time…!”) make it work.
Good characterisation and a spooky spirit thus carry it to the final twist, which as mentioned before is enough to justify the lack of a Horror tag even though one still would have fit. Moreso, it makes things lighter without deemphasizing the effect of what we’ve just witnessed. And the lack of extra context as to this filly before the events of the story, while absolutely something I’d have liked more of, boosts it further.
Pen Stroke considers this not a strong story of his, but I found it more than did its job, as an E-rated Halloween horror in the world of FiM.
Rating: Pretty Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 0
Pretty Good: 2
Decent: 2
Passable: 1
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
A pity, I thoroughly enjoyed Goats of Summer. Despite its frequent usage of links. Oh well, to each his own.
Been ages since I read Morsel of Truth, but I recall loving it. The ending was outright delightful. The Mane Six are just lucky that the little ghostie chose to visit them in the order it did.
5754769
If you couldn't tell, it was this close to a Pretty Good. It just fell enough outside of what I enjoyed to miss it. Hence the review itself making it clear it's highly worth considering regardless.
And the links barely bothered me, hence them getting only a brief mention as opposed to a whole paragraph for yourself.
So, so lucky, when one subscribes to the reading you and I do! Not much I could have done to dissuade her from the end result if the order was different. 👻
Goats leaving you winded is perfectly valid. I for one found that aspect of it exhilarating! XD
5754799
Darn it, why do you all have to pull the "the aspect that left you muddled is what I adored about it!" card? Just makes me even more muddled and unsure of my take!
The review piqued my interest in Morsel, and it satisfied. A Goosebumps-level of G-rated happy ending spookiness went down very quick and smooth. The lore-builder in me wants to ask questions (Why were the Manes acting so normal when this is Definitely A Thing That Happens?), but as a one-shot spooky campfire story that all doesn't matter. It's good, it's interesting, it's creative and avoids the lazy horror shortcuts that permeate the genre. I even approve of the quickening pace, and I feel if it hadn't sped up I would have been going "Yeah I get it" by the third house.
5754826
Glad it did the job nearly two weeks past the ideal time!
Something I've noticed over the years is how, despite the three act structure template splitting into a 25:50:25 ratio, in reality most films tend to have a slightly higher ratio the earlier you are, and less so later. to the point that 30:50:20 is a better realistic starting point. A quickening pace as we learn more and more is just a narrative standard in practice to keep the watcher/reader entertained, and one people tend to employ even if they don't realise it. Good that they do!
5754827
I think it's particularly right in this story, with 90% of the narrative following the same formula. Keeping them all as long as Twilight's section would have felt obnoxious given the repetitive outcomes, while the acceleration helped build the stakes and tension, the feeling that we were building to a dramatic end.
5754803
if I can't be confusing, then what's the point? :V
Also, while I don't have any interest in reading Sprout stories:
Damn but that's a dick move from his co-villain!
Thanks for the review! Very much in alignment with my own thoughts on it; Relinquishing was meant as a bit of mood writing ("wistful" would've been a good tag for it, but I settled for "sad" from the limited choices available) wrapped around a little headcannoning. "Concept tease, but enjoyable for what it is/what it's trying to be" is a pretty good summation of how I hope it lands with readers. I appreciate you taking a look at it!