The slightly not terrible

  • Splitting aMid the Night The everyday life of a schizophrenic, fighting school, demons from within, and love. Midnight is just another normal pony, right? by Toraka 200,040 words · 1,814 views · 84 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Shadowed Through Dawn Twilight creates duplicate of herself, things get a little out of hoof. by Toraka 8,044 words · 584 views · 15 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Commutation Everypony is born as they are. Yet, with a bit of magic, shouldn't one be allowed to bend the rules a little, to see what the respective other has? Just for one day? by Toraka 5,094 words · 1,372 views · 59 likes · 10 dislikes
  • It's Mommy's Special Day! Normally, days in the Sparkles' house always start the same way. However, this day is not normal, and there are two ponies intent on making it the least normal day ever. by Toraka 1,636 words · 1,323 views · 98 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Ocean [Flufftastic] When time and heat are to spare, Twilight Sparkle and family decide the time is right for a beach trip. Do hijinks ensue? Perhaps. (Probably.) by Toraka 4,521 words · 277 views

SSR: Prism Pie · 3:28pm

Rule of... well, me, because I formulated it myself and still can't find any proof that anybody else did before me: To find the meaning of a piece, present it to an imbecile who knows only what the words mean, who cannot construct a greater meaning than that if he tried. That is its truth. Beyond that, beyond what is clearly written into the text, all meaning is fictional, outside of the creator's vision.

Think a bit about it. It applies to everything you have ever been made to squeeze meaning into.

You may now go and slap your English teacher.

This does not lead where you expect. Or perhaps it will.

I know, I was supposed to have transcended this plane of being by now. But then my attention was brought to this little story, by its author's request actually. It's not the first time that people have been overly appreciative of my torture, which I find amusing. Might hint towards my amazing awesomeness, or a little tick within them all.

So along comes this story, depicting Pinkie Pie as extremely socially anxious with several different attention disorders. I was amazed to find that was actually the point of the story, though it might actually be a true self that no one wants to be real more than an alternate one. It is well portrayed though, bringing causes to reactions in logical and consistent ways. From depressing personal experience, it seems, but nevertheless a way to bring understanding to those without it.

I will admit, this mindset, much less its severity, is one that I never worked with. Perhaps I feared what it would do to the coherence of the story. I will admit that I have hatred towards both present tense and first person because they are tools towards another story than most people are trying to write. Funny to say, it works exactly for this one, a diary of a mind unsettled. Such racing thoughts certainly hurt coherence, but not to unusability. To that end, though, it could use work on other fronts.

For one, consistent spacing between lines, that is to say, putting all of one character's dialogue on the same paragraph until the next speaks, which then to show in another, double spaced, indented paragraph. And then proper punctuation and capitalisation during dialogue in particular. There is a great writing guide on this very site under FAQ for learning such things.

Ultimately, the thing the story is lacking is purpose. An end goal. And character progression towards that. The episodes themselves are a story already told, so this story is left without any real substance. If the story is already known, and no one changes, why would one bother with this one?

This one might.

Report Toraka · 125 views ·
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#86 · 78w, 3d ago · · ·

I hope you're doing well.:)

#85 · 111w, 6d ago · · ·

Correct me if I'm wrong; Weren't you the first who commented on my fic? Just curiosity.

#84 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1531840 If at least it could have been a better story...

Like the one referenced on the very blatant blog post above.

#83 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1531834 Scanning through old approved stories, trying to figure out the name of a friend's alt. I saw 'Habit' go by, saw your pic, clicked, left a comment.

Surely stranger things have happened?

#82 · 121w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1531833 How does one randomly pass by me?

  • Viewing 82 - 86 of 86
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