You find yourself as Pinkie's special birthday present, but she likes a good game before any actual play time. Enjoy running through distractions from the residences of Ponyville as you track down your target, but will you win in the end?
The 'Good Finales", starting with the Male Variation. Well, time to put this mare, and story, to bed.
… “sure your thick, liquid flooded rod” – ‘liquid’ and ‘flooded’ should have a hyphen between then. Otherwise, they’re ‘flooded’ and ‘rod’ are treated as separate words… Which is just a little bit creepy. … “friends to possible see” – ‘possible’ should be ‘possibly’. … “get comfortable warm inside” – ‘comfortable’ should be ‘comfortably’. … “equestrian crushing climax” – I don’t get this… a “climax capable of crushing a being from Equestria” maybe? A “Climax capable of crushing Equestria”? Maybe “A climax capable of crushing an equine? Well regardless, I feel ‘Equestrian’ should be capitalized, and a hyphen should be placed between it, and ‘crushing’.
This ending… wasn’t too bad. I rather wish she reacted a bit more, between her saying “Rougher!” and the Protagonist saying “It’s punishment”. I mean really, all she did was open her mouth, and near the end, say to ‘stop’. When it came to the actual act of her SAYING things, she wasn’t very responsive…
Also, I might as well bring up how the idea of it being her room was only briefly able to be remembered, given small of a number of things were mentioned... Again, you went by a couple sights at the start, and the rest might as well have been the cellar.
Also, I can’t give many points for Pinkie being in-character given the rather random act of swearing. I guess she learned that from humans, too? Or maybe Discord… or Celestia, heck, I dunno……… Lyra? One last thing: This chapter felt incredibly rushed, when it came to what was done with Pinkie Pie. It really should have felt more like you were savoring the prize, rather than "okay, readers came here for sex, they'll get it." It could have been, well... just a bit 'more', I suppose... This feels incomplete, at least to me.
Well, at the end of the day… did I enjoy the chapter? Yes, immensely, but there’s still one to go. Might as well get to it!
The 'Good Finales", starting with the Male Variation. Well, time to put this mare, and story, to bed.![:rainbowdetermined2:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowdetermined2.png)
… “sure your thick, liquid flooded rod” – ‘liquid’ and ‘flooded’ should have a hyphen between then. Otherwise, they’re ‘flooded’ and ‘rod’ are treated as separate words… Which is just a little bit creepy.![:rainbowderp:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowderp.png)
… “friends to possible see” – ‘possible’ should be ‘possibly’.
… “get comfortable warm inside” – ‘comfortable’ should be ‘comfortably’.
… “equestrian crushing climax” – I don’t get this… a “climax capable of crushing a being from Equestria” maybe? A “Climax capable of crushing Equestria”?
Maybe “A climax capable of crushing an equine? Well regardless, I feel ‘Equestrian’ should be capitalized, and a hyphen should be placed between it, and ‘crushing’.
This ending… wasn’t too bad. I rather wish she reacted a bit more, between her saying “Rougher!” and the Protagonist saying “It’s punishment”. I mean really, all she did was open her mouth, and near the end, say to ‘stop’. When it came to the actual act of her SAYING things, she wasn’t very responsive…
Also, I might as well bring up how the idea of it being her room was only briefly able to be remembered, given small of a number of things were mentioned... Again, you went by a couple sights at the start, and the rest might as well have been the cellar.
Also, I can’t give many points for Pinkie being in-character given the rather random act of swearing. I guess she learned that from humans, too? Or maybe Discord… or Celestia, heck, I dunno……… Lyra?
One last thing: This chapter felt incredibly rushed, when it came to what was done with Pinkie Pie. It really should have felt more like you were savoring the prize, rather than "okay, readers came here for sex, they'll get it." It could have been, well... just a bit 'more', I suppose... This feels incomplete, at least to me.
Well, at the end of the day… did I enjoy the chapter? Yes, immensely, but there’s still one to go. Might as well get to it!![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
I'll wake up in my bed, and yell 24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0cudi8PKl1qimttgo1_500.jpg
in the great and wise words of Tucker "Bow chicka bow wow"![:ajsmug:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajsmug.png)
2433713 Ditto. This world has gone to shit. It's evil, cruel, and us Bronies are failing to change it. Equestria would be like heaven for us.
First time! I won the first time doing this! Maybe it's because pinkie is my favorite pony and I'm obsessed with her
but I still won the first time!
:
This was an awesome story, nciely done 8D
huehuehuehuehue eue