Jokers Wild

by blowngasket

The Crazy Thing About Friends

Chapter 16: The Crazy Thing About Friends

The sun was bright, the birds were chirping, and all was right with the world. This is how Perry felt as he woke up from his nice slumber. He stretched out, cracked his neck a few times, and started to look around. The first thing he noticed was his face was uncovered, something he wasn't used to waking up to. He flailed around slightly, trying to find his mask out of instinct. He noticed the one Rarity designed for him by his shirt. As he was at it though, a second thought came into his mind. Where the hell was he? Perry was never good with dealing with mornings, or maybe mornings just didn't like him. He preferred the latter thought, as it made for a better conversation.

After several minutes of brainstorming and deductive reasoning, he finally remembered what occurred last night. He smiled slightly. wondering how he could forget about an oversized beast. He looked to his side, and saw the empty spot where Fluttershy was laying the night before. Perry guessed that she must be up already, so he got out himself. Grabbing his mask, Perry made his way to find the kitchen.

He made his way downstairs, and as he entered the kitchen, Perry skillfully dodged a projectile in the form of a cucumber slice. As more were thrown his way, he simply moved out of the way, walking towards the source of the bombardment. Angel stood there on the kitchen table, wearing a small green camo helmet and jacket. Black lines were painted under his angry looking eyes. He prepared a small catapult, loaded with a potato. Perry simply watched the angry rabbit launch the brown root at his face. He effortlessly raised his hand and caught the potato as it was about to impact. He took the potato over to the counter and started cutting it up into cubes, and spent some time searching for oil and a pan, successful avoiding more vegetables that he didn't need or care for. He caught the ones he wanted, an onion, a pepper, and a few more potatoes, and threw them into the pan. Perry wondered if he would be the one in trouble with the kitchen trashed with all sorts of food products, though that didn't really matter as he was sleepy and hungry. He finished the simple fried potato dish, and pulling out two plates and a smaller one, he filled them up with the hot concoction. Perry carried the small plate over to Angel and left it by him. From the lack of vegetables flying towards him as he left, Angel must have accepted the terms and conditions of Perry's surrender.

He looked around for a bit in his tired daze. Finding a clock, it was a little past ten, verifying that Perry slept more than he usually did. The previous night must have worn him out more than he thought. He looked around the house, calling Fluttershy's name, not getting a response. Finally, when he was about to give up, he noticed her outside of a window, dressed in her usual attire, feeding a small flock of creatures. Fluttershy was smiling as she knelt down, tossing feed all around her. The creatures kept moving towards her, birds resting on her shoulders, small bunnies and squirrels playfully jumping around her. Perry opened up the window and stuck his head out of it.

"Fluttershy, are you hungry? I made breakfast...lunch...ermm brunch!" Perry yelled to her. She looked over and held up a finger in front of her lips, the signal to keep quiet. She then motioned for Perry to come over.

Not bothering with a shirt, Perry set down the food on a table, and just threw on his boots and walked out. He walked slowly towards the side of Fluttershy's house, trying to not cause more of a commotion than necessary. She continued to lay out feed as Perry approached slowly in an attempt to not startle the animals. Stealth being a natural talent of his, he made sure his footsteps produced no sound. When he made it next to her, the animals backed away slowly, but Fluttershy managed to charm them back towards the two. She handed Perry a small handful of feed, which he sprinkled all around him. The animals started to eat it, getting closer to Perry than he was used to. Fluttershy only looked at him and smiled. Odd as it was, Perry found this sort of morning nice, and continued to help her out until the small bag went empty. Fluttershy and Perry rose, causing the animals to start to scatter back to their homes. "Well, that was new," Perry said to Fluttershy. "Anyways, good morning."

"Good morning to you. Did you sleep well?" Fluttershy asked. Perry stretched out, bending his back farther than what could be considered normal, and then pulling himself back up.

"It was alright, but it turns out you kick quite a bit in your sleep," Perry chuckled.

Fluttershy started to look nervous."Oh my, I am sorry...please don't be..."

"I was just kidding, Flutters. It was one of the best night sleeps I have had in ages. I need to sleep in more," Fluttershy smiled in relief. "So if you're hungry, brunch is getting cold."

"Oh that would be lovely. I wanted to wait for you to wake up before..." her stomach growled loudly. Perry chuckled and led the way into her house, still giving that front door a triumphant grin as he opened it for Fluttershy. They walked in to find two empty plates and a very content looking Angel, giving them the 'Yeah, I did it. What?' look. Perry's eye twitched slightly, staring as all his hard work had gone to waste. Fluttershy looked down at Angel. "It's ok Angel, we will just make something else," Perry's eyes widened as he remembered the one sided war that took place in the kitchen today.

"Actually, how about we go out and eat! I have been meaning to sample the non confectionary restaurants of Ponyville!" Perry said quickly.

"Umm, sure. I guess that sounds like fun," Fluttershy responded to him, smiling.

"Great. let me go grab my shirt, and I will meet you outside. Go Go! It's a wonderful day! Let's get as much sun as we can!" Perry told Fluttershy, gently pushing her out the door. He closed it and ran upstairs, grabbing his dress shirt and jacket, and then ran back down and almost shoved his mask into Angel's face. "Ok, rabbit. Here's the deal! You obviously don't like me, and I can assure you the feeling is mutual, but facing facts, the kitchen is both of our faults. Your's for your random and senseless onslaught, and mine for not stopping you to the fullest extent of my imagination," Angel gulped slightly. "You take care of that mess, and I will owe you a favor...damn it I can't believe I am offering my services to a bunny..."

"Perry, are you coming?" Fluttershy asked from behind the door.

"Yes, I am just saying good bye to Angel," he said back to her, before holding his hand out to Angel. "So, do we have a deal?" Angel looked Perry down with his cold eyes, before taking his finger with his paws and shaking it. Perry nodded and made his way out of the house. Angel went into the kitchen, and looking at all the mess, almost regretted starting that fight. Almost.

---------- ----------- ----------

Perry and Fluttershy sat at a nice outdoor table, looking through the menus their waiter had given them. Perry was dressed in his normal attire and mask, having stopped by his house to change on the way. He skimmed through all of the meals, trying to find that one meal that he didn't know he wanted but will never forget. He took a sip of his water through his straw, which his waiter had reluctantly given him. The establishment was a higher class place called café de petit cheval, and thought it was crude for adults to use bendy straws.

"Are you two all set?" the waiter asked, still using that cheesy accent that Perry could tell was fake. Perry looked over to Fluttershy, who nodded slightly.

"Yes, I will be having the garden salad, extra croutons please," Perry said to the waiter, watching him scribble down on his flip pad.

"A garden salad as well, please. If it isn't a problem, could you add some extra tomatos?" Fluttershy asked. The waiter nodded, taking their menus back inside.

"Very well. I will be back with your entrees," he said, walking away. Perry took a sip of his water before looking back at Fluttershy.

"So, if I may ask, what are your parents like?" Perry asked Fluttershy. She smiled as she looked at him.

"My mother was a painter, and my father used to be a soldier," Fluttershy told him.

"Wow, what an odd combination there. How did they meet?" Perry asked.

"Well, my mother was tasked with doing a group painting of my father's winged battalion. Afterwards, she was approached by several of the men, who had bothered her about going on a date with them. She wasn't the best at handling pressure, so she didn't know what to do. Dad walked up to her and told the others that she was his, and walked away with her, only to get her away from them. Turns out that they really did end up going out on a date, and a year later they were married," Perry chuckled at the adorableness of the story.

"So will I ever get to meet them?" Perry asked. Fluttershy's smile faded slightly.

"Well, my mother passed on a few years after I was born, and my father has been on the overprotective side since, so I doubt it would be a good idea. At least not anytime soon," she said to Perry.

"That will not do, not at all. No! I must meet him!" Perry declared, causing Fluttershy to jump slightly. "Does he live near here?"

"Umm, he lives up there in Cloudsdale, so I doubt you could go..." she said quietly.

"Nonsense. I do know magic, so you know. A cloud walking spell is fairly easy. If you carry me, I am sure it won't be a problem," she continued to grow more nervous as Perry became more determined.

"Umm, I don't think I could carry you, I can barely carry myself," Fluttershy said, half serious and half trying to make an excuse.

"I will simply turn down the gravity around us. That one is easy for me as well," Perry said happily as his mental plans had started to come together. Fluttershy tried to come up with another good reason, but sighed in defeat. "Don't worry, I am sure it will go well," she smiled as best as she could, but she was still worried.

The salads finally came, Perry digging in as Fluttershy took small bites. The rest of the meal was enjoyed in silence, Perry's mouth too full to declare his intent on visiting Fluttershy's family, much to her own relief. After the salads were gone, they sat there for a bit longer, just looking at each other before Fluttershy spoke up.

"What are your parents like?" Fluttershy asked Perry. She wondered if she asked him something she shouldn't have, because he went awfully silent the moment after.

"...My mother also passed away. It happened when I was born. My father, well I tried to avoid him. He wasn't the easiest person to be around, as he most definitely has flaws. His greatest one though, is that he wasn't the best father, not by a long shot. Ended up being raised by my aunt and uncle. They were alright, so for the most part, they are my parents. I should visit them soon as well. They live in a retirement home in Canterlot. I make sure to take care of them with the money I make, so they are happy," Perry said.

"They sound like great people, I hope to meet them soon as well," Fluttershy said.

"They really are, probably the only reason I am not a total psychopath," Perry laughed. Fluttershy just looked at him curiously.

"So...what started, you know, that part of you?" Fluttershy asked quietly, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"A story for another time..." Perry said quietly. Fluttershy nodded, still looking curious. "It has nothing to do with you, I still have a hard time dealing with that incident, and even more with the after effects."

"It is alright. I understand. Sorry for bringing it up," Fluttershy said, looking sadly at the table. Perry got up and walked over to her, giving her a hug. She hugged Perry back and looked up into his eyes. Though he was wearing that mask, it was almost as if she could see him without it. It was something that belonged to her, and only her.

"Don't worry about it, I am not upset," he poked her forehead and chuckled slightly. She looked up at him in surprise, not understanding what he just did.

"There you go, no more sad face," Perry said happily. Fluttershy smiled slightly at his silliness. Letting her go, he threw down the bits for the meal onto the table and turned back to Fluttershy. "I have a job to do now. I will meet you later so we can go visit your father for dinner," he said. Fluttershy's look changed to a worried one.

"You're going to look into the forest, right?" Perry nodded at Fluttershy's question. "I will be waiting for you tonight, so make sure you come back," Perry chuckled, then suddenly jumped onto the table.

"I. Perry O'te, vow to return unharmed and unscathed for you!" he started to yell. Fluttershy was looking at him nervously.

"Umm Perry you should...?" Fluttershy was about to say something when Perry continued his speech.

"I could venture to the ends of the land, climb the highest mountain..." he continued on with his dramatic speech.

"Perry?" Fluttershy tried to get his attention to the growing amount of angry looking restaurant workers.

"Swim to the depths of the deepest ocean and still I would return to you!!!" Perry finally finished, standing triumphantly.

"Sir! Get off the table!" Perry heard a yell from a small group of restaurant workers standing behind him. He chuckled and jumped off the table.

"My apologies for expressing my goals in the best way I see fit," Perry said to them. The staff shook their heads, almost like it was rehearsed, and walked back inside. Perry turned to Fluttershy, who was smiling again. "I should be back around six, so be ready for me, alright?" Perry said to her.

"I will be waiting for you, so please be safe. Maybe you should go get a map from Twilight," Fluttershy said.

"A map would be useless, chances are anything plotting in there isn't going to use a widely know location to plot. That would be stupid and predictable, and only an idiot of a villain would do that...unless that is what they are expecting me to think...Anyway, I should be alright, so don't worry," Perry took a bow, before heading off in the direction of the forest. Fluttershy sighed, still worried for his safety. If only she was stronger, than she could help him, but so far all she has been able to do is hold Perry back.

She got up and started to walk when she heard a noise from the bushes near where her and Perry were sitting. Curiously, she walked over to them and peeked over. She giggled slightly at the sight of Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Rarity, all looking slightly guilty.

"What are you all doing hiding there?" she asked them.

'Umm nothing, nothing at all! Just...looking for a...a..." Twilight was trying to come up with an answer.

"We were making sure you were happy with him, sweetie," Rarity said. Fluttershy looked at the group, slightly confused.

"Why are you spying on me, then? I am sure you could have joined us," Fluttershy said. "So, how long have you been watching us?" Rainbow jumped up and started to tell her story in all of this.

"Well, I was flying around this morning, making sure that the weather was done right, when I noticed Perry there come out of your house without a shirt on," Rainbow Dash started to explain, using over energetic had gestures along with her story. "I was like all 'no way' and was watching you two feed the animals. You were so close that I figured he might have tried to pull the moves on you..."

"And that is when she came to me," Twilight started to talk. "She flew through the window screaming something along the lines of 'Fluttershy's innocence is in jeopardy!' and smashed into a bookshelf," Fluttershy blushed heavily at the comment, trying to hide her face behind her hair. "Rarity was there doing research on new design ideas..."

"Which were all too old fashioned for me," Rarity was speaking now. "We had come to a decision that you two had to be stalked. It was uncouth of us, I know, but you are our friend and we have been worried about you ever sense you started seeing him. I feel you two are just moving too fast and should refrain from anything of a more personal nature until you have a chance to know him better."

"I am sorry for worrying you all, I promise you nothing like that happened. Perry is a nice man deep down, and he even insisted on sleeping on the couch," Fluttershy said to them. She felt avoiding what happened after would be best, and she technically wasn't lying so it was alright. "He didn't say, but I could tell he was just worried because of what happened that night."

"He is still a man, Flutters, and in my experience, men will do anything to get you into the sack," Rainbow said to her.

"Rainbow, from what I hear, you almost tend to seek out the troublemakers," Rarity added. Rainbow glared at her. "Perry is indeed a good man, but he still is a troubled one. We are your friends, and we just want to make sure he is treating you right."

"I even refrained from zapping him on several occasions for you, Fluttershy. I still see Perry as the stupid brother who is trying to get with one of my best friends," Twilight told Fluttershy, Rainbow started to laugh.

"Oh please, egghead. You're secretly jealous that she got someone before you did," Rainbow laughed as Twilight started to get angry.

"LIGHTNING!" Twilight called out, sending a bolt into Rainbow. She fell over, twitching slightly at the shock. Rarity chuckled nervously, while Fluttershy checked to make sure Rainbow was still alive, able to hear her voice faintly.

"Fluttershy...come closer..." Rainbow said slowly. Fluttershy held her ear closer to Rainbows mouth so she wouldn't have to struggle to hear her. "Totally...worth it..." Rainbow grinned. Twilight sighed as she stretched herself out.

"Well, it seems you're fine and happy, so I guess there isn't a real issue here. Just don't do anything that Rainbow wouldn't regret and you will be all right," Twilight said. Fluttershy nodded and smiled. It was nice to know that your friends cared about you.

"...No regrets..." Rainbow still chuckled as she laid on the ground. Twilight groaned and dragged her friend away. Rarity walked up to Fluttershy and smiled.

"If he is the one, then I couldn't be happier for you. Please, if the time comes, let me make your wedding dress," Fluttershy blushed heavily at the thought, practically freezing in place.

"Umm o-ok..." Fluttershy said, nodding slightly, images of a grand wedding going on in her head.

"Thank you, Fluttershy. See you tomorrow for our spa trip. If you can you should bring Perry along, I am sure even he needs to get the kinks straightened out of him."

"I...will ask..." Fluttershy said, still partially day dreaming.

---------- ---------- ----------

Perry walked happily towards the forest, enjoying the sunlight shining down on him. Celestia always did have a way with the day, but he always did better work at night, so Luna's subtlety beautiful sky deserved praise as well. He laughed, wondering if Fluttershy found out her friends had been spying on them. It wasn't hard at all to figure out, really. Rarity wore too much perfume, Twilight had a tendency to fidget slightly when she was nervous, and Rainbow was about as stealthy as a rainbow. He figured he would go see that Zecora woman from before. She seemed capable of sensing the evil in him, so she should be able to help point him in the right direction. He only hoped that she would be willing to help him after their last encounter, figuring he wasn't exactly nice to her. He sighed, knowing he would have to make his peace with her eventually, and trekked forward into the wilderness.

Comments

[VoidKat]

blood brilliant. I was up several hours last night reading the first chapters. i see a few similar characters making up perry which i really enjoy.
so please keep up the awesome work. so here are a few enjoy

[kamachakta]

Yes... when I saw this update... I did this...
lunachan.net/chat/src/135579489622.gif

[blowngasket]

2266311 Much appreciated. I never thought I would get such a positive reaction to this story. I gladly accept your moustaches and will do my best to earn more.

2266941 I don't know what to say... seriously, I haven't a clue. But I will say this. Awesome.