Derpy's new start

by SgtDerpy

The Cold walk

It was cold, and dark. It seemed that the jagged peaks of the Draconis Mountains caused the sun to set artificially early. Despite being called the Draconis Mountains they where empty even the dragons forsake these frozen peaks that only the desperate traveled to cross from the large plains of eastern Equestria into Western Equestria where anypony can make a fresh start even if they made a complete ruin of their lives before. At least that was the hope of Derpy Hooves.

"Mommy I’m cold." Said a small pale purple unicorn filly

"I know honey, I’m cold too but it’ll be warmer when we get to grandma’s house." said Derpy

"I’m hungry too, and tired"

"I know Dinky, I know but we can warm up and have all the food we can eat once we get to grandma’s house"

Those words hurt Derpy every time she said them because while her filly didn't know it they had no home and no family to go to. It had first started when she went home to Cloudsdale after college with her yearling Dinky. Her family had immediately rejected her first for being sub Pegasus due to her eyes and then for bringing back a bastard filly, a unicorn bastard filly.

"Mommy? How far is it to grandmas house? I’m really hungry."

"Well today I think we are really close to grandmas but I think I have a snack for you since you are being so patient with mommy today."

It wasn't just a snack it was the last of her food, or really the last of the food she had saved for Dinky. Derpy hadn’t eaten for several days and the small apple she handed to her hungry filly wasn't the last of her money that was long ago spent. It was the last of the charity from a violet apple farmer who had let them stay in her barn during the night a few days ago. It seemed foolish now to keep going but she had to make it to Los Pegasus where she wouldn't find family or friends or even a happy life for herself but that is where she could find a way, any way, to feed her poor filly. She knew that crossing the mountains this time of year was dangerous but after watching Dinky eat her apple in three bites she knew that this was the last chance she had.

"Mommy can you tell me about grandma?"

Derpy was beginning to suspect that Dinky knew grandma didn't exist but she knew it was the last light of hope for her and the young filly she loved to tell the story of grandma even if it was a little different every time.

"Well Dinky Darling, grandma lives in a great big house that always smells like cookies, when she was a younger pony grandma wished she could make cookies for everypony so she baked and baked until she had enough cookies to give to anyone she meet"

As they kept walking the blizzard was getting worse and worse, it almost seemed like a whole herd of Windigos had descended upon her but she knew that they wouldn't bother to torment her and her filly. Derpys only hope was that one little Pegasus who was slowly freezing and there was little she could do to stop it.

Things had not gone well for Derpy when she left Cloudsdale and arrived in Ponyville. The residents there had tried to be kind and helpful, but after Derpys many accidents there were significantly fewer friendly faces and more creditors that needed paying. The straw that broke the tense peace that Derpy had found in Ponyville was when she had accidently discharged lightning to close to city hall and had caused massive amounts of damage. The last of her friends had left her after that calling her a jinx, a cross-eyed freak and retarded. The city had even started to try and take Dinky from her saying that she was a danger to herself and incapable of properly raising her filly.

"Mommy I am very cold."
The sad little cry was almost too much for Derpy to bear but she knew stopping was more dangerous then continuing without shelter.
"Just a little further Dinky I think I see a cave ahead"

Luckily for Derpy there was and she sighed a huge breath of relief as there was even a small bush that she could even burn. While she was grateful of at least having the wood to burn she did wish it had even a single old leaf to help fill her filly’s stomach but freezing was the bigger danger at the moment so she light the pathetically small fire and held Dinky close to her.

"Dinky do you want to hear about grandmas house?"

"Yes mommy." Dinky’s voice was pitifully quiet and weak so hoping to raise the little filly’s spirits she began.

"Like I was saying before grandmas house always smells of cookies and has the biggest yard its perfect for a little filly like you to play in and even build a little fort. She has also got the nicest puppy in the world that just loves to play fetch and do silly tricks. Grandmas house is so much fun your going to love it when we get there."

"I want to see the puppy mommy what’s his name."

"Her name is Shippo the wonder puppy and she loves little fillies."

"Mommy I’m tired."
"I know honey but we are only taking a little break to warm up we cant take a nap now or else we can’t play with the puppy."

"Mommy I’m not cold anymore so can I please take a nap?"

"NO! Dinky no we cant take a nap here we have to keep moving on we gotta go see grandma she has cookies and we gotta play with Shippo you cant go to sleep now you cant!"

"Mommy are we at grandmas house?"
.....
"Yes Dinky I think we are."

As Derpy held her small sad frozen filly the frost reclaimed the cave as the fire went out. Derpy didn't even feel the tears as they where freezing to her face she just felt the shame and loss of her filly the one piece of her life that had gone right had finally gone wrong. Derpy had finally given up. She no longer had the need to pass through these mountains so she decided that a nap wouldn't hurt her or her filly and rested her eyes.

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Derpy woke up several hours and noticed the clock it was 9 she started until she remembered it was a Saturday and she could spend the whole day with Dinky. She got up and walked down the hall and heard the giggling of a young filly that was trying to be quiet but was to excited to contain herself. As Derpy walked into the living room Dinky looked up from playing with her puppy Shippo "Good morning mommy can we bake cookies today?"

Derpy smiled as all of her dreams had finally come true.

"Yes Dinky lets bake some cookies."

Author's Note:

This is my first story and I have a few Ideas for some others but I am using this one as practice for another I have a more fleshed out idea for. Please send me any useful tips, criticism, guidelines or even if you liked any parts of this.

Comments

[Inferno demon Dash]

Huh......ok, first off.....DERPY!!!!!! Second be sure to use " when speaking and to always seprate when others are speaking, be sure to be more detailed when speaking of apperance as well. Other then that you done a pretty good job, not the best but you are really learning, I'm impressed Shall be awaiting more and you may wish to get an editor as well, I recommand Miss Dark Angel, she's a bucking genuis

Almost forgot, remember to be very detailed when writing your summary and to be a ' after Derpy and the s, alright?

[SgtDerpy]

2139107 Thanks for the comments and the read, I'll be making some of those changes as soon as I can. I kinda feel really bad for Derpy for this one but I really empathize with her and writing tragedy is a little easier than comedy.

[Nima55]

Not bad, but needs improvement. It's very abrupt and doesn't flow well.

[dragonpony111]

Loved it. Only thing I thought was super grimdark is how you basically say derpy watched her filly pass away due to cold and hunger and then she took a nap and passed away herself, and they both ended up in heaven or whatever equestrians call it. To at least save her filly you would think Derpy would have given her up in Ponyville before making that dangerous trek across the mountains.

[SgtDerpy]

2596362Thank you for the favourite! I was kinda thinking about the story of the Matchstick Girl, and, well this kinda came from that. I think she would have left Dinky with someone if she had seen that as an option, I have seen people do similarly sad and pathetic and extreme things to help their kids and unfortunately often it dosent work. In this case I didn't see Derpy as having that option.

[dragonpony111]

2597274

Fair enough