Tom's Destiny

by Caleb Roy

The Random Human Hermit

Tom entered the forest. He traveled a few miles without encountering anything. It was surprising, but it was what happened. When he got about halfway through the forest, he encountered a random shack in the middle of the woods. This was not good. Not good at all. Tom had remembered his brother's uncle's sister's cousin second removed's dog barking to Tom that if you ever encountered a random shack in the middle of the woods, that you should never, ever go into it. Tom knew this wasn't good, but Tom wasn't scared. Tom was a rock. Eventually, he decided to go over and knock on the door of the shack. He slowly rolled over to the shack, and had trouble getting up the hill (we should all know by now that you shouldn't throw a grenade up a hill because it might roll back down and blow you up). Finally, though, Tom made it up. It was a slow push, but he made it. Tom went over and rolled to the door. He knocked with whatever hands or whatever he would use to knock with. Remember, this is a story and stories defy physics half the time. He knocked once, and there was no answer. He knocked twice and there was no answer. He knocked a third time, and this time there was an answer, but Tom knocked so fast that he couldn't stop himself when the guy answered, and so Tom punched him in the face.

"Ow what the crap, rock? What did you do that for?", asked the Random Human Hermit.

"Sorry! Sorry!" replied Tom, "That was an accident".

"An accident my butt! So what the heck are you here for anyways? Don't you know that I haven't been visited by anyone in like thirty years, except that blue horse called Lyra who visits me everyday. Man that horse is annoying. She always wants to find out about humans, but frankly, I don't care what she wants. I am trying to live out my day instead of being bothered by her. Anyways, what do you want rock?"

I hate to interrupt, but I just wanted to point out that I find it really weird how no pony/human/or whatever you are finds it a little bit weird that they are talking to a rock. Anyway, here is what Tom responded with.

"Sorry sir", said Tom, "I just wanted to know if you could point me in the direction to Canterlot. I am on this quest, and I forget where Canterlot is."

"Well, don't you have a map or something?", asked the random human hermit.

"Well, sir, about that. You see there is the cat at this house that I reside in, and well she tore it up. The cat is spoiled, but no pony ever seems to care about it."

"Oh, I know that feeling brother. Here come on in, and I will see what I can do."

"Thanks guy. Hey what's your name?"

"Oh just call me Random Human Hermit".

"Interesting name".

"Ya it is. Come on in."

Tom entered the shack with Random Human Hermit. He found inside all manners of things. It was weirder than Zecora's place. For example, there was this black box when, once turned on, would play this game where you could shoot people and crap. The hermit also had this other item which he called a television. It played all types of shows. One of the shows on was called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Tom thought it resembled their land. He found it very interesting. There was a ton of other things too. The hermit had tons of books from Bibles to comics. He even had this thing called a microwave. It was supposed to heat up food that was cooled. Tom saw a future in this little device. He decided that maybe eventually him and this hermit guy could go into business together and become bitlionares. He saw a future. Tom decided though that perhaps he should do this later on when he was done with his quest. Finally, Tom and the hermit sat down.

"Okay", said the hermit, "I need you to be quiet while I look for a map. Actually, if you want just go over there and enjoy the television. Also, if you hear a knock, see a blue horse, or anything of that matter, lay down, be quiet, and don't do anything!! I am very serious. That little blue horse gets on my nerves way too much. Do you understand Tom?", the hermit finished.

"Yes sir Random Human Hermit sir!!", Tom replied loudly. Then Tom went over to watch this show that was on. It had all manner of things which were in his world. Tom even saw himself and Discord, but Tom had never known of this show, let alone a television. In fact, Tom hadn't seen half the crap in Equestria that he saw here. Tom had to ask, but first he picked up the device called the remote, and changed the channel. On came a channel called the Animal Planet. Tom sat back and listened.

"The Gazelle", came the voice from inside the television, "Is a very interesting creature. It feeds off of grass and other herbs. it is known as an herbivore. In fact, the gazelle has never been seen to even eat other meat, however, there are things that feed on the gazelle. Watch closely as this cheetah rushes the gazelle and tears it limb from limb eating its entrails and body parts. May we remind you also that this show is, in fact, kid-friendly". The television continued to speak. Tom listened. Finally, the hermit guy came back.

"Hey Tom, I got this map for you here. I think it goes to Canterlot, but I still think half of it is missing. Anyways, I wanted to share something with you." said the hermit.

"Go ahead Random Human Hermit, I am listening.", replied Tom.

"Okay, well listen", began the human hermit, "I have to say this. Since this is one of those adventure stories, I have to like tell you all about like what you are going to face and crap along your journey. I also have to like give you all this advice, and tell you that it will like teach you how to become a better rock and all that jazz, so umm, here is all I know. Truthfully, I didn't know you were going to come here, so I kind of have to improvise. Here it is then. (Before you begin reading, imagine that Random Human Hermit gets all into like dramatic voice bro's, okay here it is). Tom on your journey you will face three separate entities. They are pure evil. They will try to turn you away from your journey by any means possible. You must not listen to them, but you will defeat them in very specific ways. The first enemy that comes will test your resolve. You must use your mind to defeat this evil entity. The second entity will come not to long after. You must also defeat this one with your mind. The final entity will come right before you get to the forest's edge. You must defeat this one with your mind. After this you will have learned something, and with all these virtues, you will be able to defeat the main bad guy over in Canterlot. You will free your friend's, save Equestria, and find out your destiny!!!!! Okay, so there you go Tom that is how you will do it."

"Now wait a minute, Random Human Hermit!! All the ways you said I would defeat the three evil's were all the same, with my mind. Isn't it suppose to be like one with compassion, one with love, one with whatever?"

"Tom I already told you. I didn't even know you were coming. The narrator just dropped the ball, and it landed on me. You will defeat all these guys with your mind because you will use your brain. I don't know how you are going to defeat them. You will find out when you get there."

"So wait just a second, Random Human Hermit, you mean to tell me that you don't even know? Do you even know if there are going to be three entities?"

"No not really Tom".

"Well then... Okay well thanks for the map Random Human Hermit, you have a nice rest of the day".

"Yup you too Tom, and as long as Lyra doesn't come, then I will"

"Okay Random Human Hermit, well I will see you!! Bye!"

As Tom went out the door, Lyra went by him, and flew into Random Human Hermit's arms. Random Human Hermit was so angry. He started yelling at Lyra to get out of his house. Tom felt bad, but had his own things to worry about. He continued on his journey, and soon he would find the first beast to fight. It would prepare him, but its all in the next chapter so you will have to wait. Until then, enjoy this picture of a picture.

"Wait a second narrator!", interrupted the boss man, "we are low on money and have just done some budget cuts so we can't put up a picture!" finished the Boss man.

Okay then. Well, sorry, but there will be no picture of a picture. Sorry, but have a nice day otherwise. Bye until next time. Mwhahahahahahahahahahaha.

Comments

[Bulder]

The mineral puns going around are gold. Also this seems interesting... Reading later.

[Caleb Roy]

2183370 cool thanks