Tom's Destiny

by Caleb Roy

Trouble...Make it Double

Tom awoke like he did every afternoon only this time he would be visited by none other than... yup you guessed it... the mail man.

There was a faint knock on the Carousel Boutique's door. Tom was awakened by the sound, and quickly got up, and went to go see who could be knocking at such an hour (even though it was like 2:00 in the afternoon, sheesh Tom, I see why Rarity wakes you up so early you lazy rock). Anyways, Tom went over to the door, opened it, and found out that the mysterious knocker was actually just the mailman. He was angry. He yelled at Tom that he had been knocking on Tom's door for over three hours. Tom, of course, didn't hear the knocking because Tom had a hearing problem. The mailman didn't move on to the next house because One: The Carousel Boutique didn't have a mailbox, Two: The mailman was required to wait to deliver mail, and Three: The mailman was just plain stupid. Actually, the mailman was a very smart pony but he has his own story, and this is Tom's so lets get back to it. Anyways, Tom took the mail, apologized to the mailman, and then Tom went and sat down to read it.

He opened the message. It was from Spike. "Spike", thought Tom, "Why would he send me a message. I could have sworn that he didn't go on the trip with the Mane 6. Hmmph, Oh well, let's see what it says". Tom then tore the paper open, and read it to himself. It read...

"Dear Tom. This is Spike (No duh Spike of course it is you!! Man, these Equestrians can be so dumb). I have an urgent message so come over immediately to Twilight's library". Well, that was a quick message, and oh hey look that is exactly what Tom thought.

"Well, that was a quick message", thought Tom. See look at that, I can see into the future. I must be one of those psychiatrists or whatever.

"Hey Narrator, Its called a Psychic!"

Oh shut up audience, what do you know?

"Well, we know a ton of stuff that you don't like, for example, that you cried in the last chapter"

I already told you audience, I was not crying, I was just eating a bowl of nails without any milk.

"Ya, and where did you get that from, SpongeBob SquarePants?"

No, heh, I got it from my manly brain.

"Hey Narrator!?"

What?

"Chuck Norris."

What where!? Quick Hide me! Don't let him kill me ple-- Oh, I mean I would take Chuck Norris down any day of the wekewkfnewnfeo.

Ummm Hello? Ya this is the boss man again. Ummm, well you see the other narrator was killed by Chuck Norris so, ummm, ya we're going to have to get a new one. It could take like three days so, ummmm, please just wait until then.

THREE DAYS LATER

Hi, I am the new Narrator. My name is Normal, and I am here to tell you a story. Let's get to it then. Okay, lets see where the other narrator left off. Oh my!? What the crap is this crap? A toilet? Now wait a second? What type of story is this? Where the heck am I?

"Hey new narrator?"

Oh my look the new audience. How are you guys doing? Are you doing well? I am happy if you are doing well? If you aren't, though, I might have to kill you!!

"Okay, well then, so new narrator you left off at the part where Tom just got a letter from Spike"

Oh, okay, ya I found it , okay thanks guys, okay well lets continue. Alright, so after Spike sends this message to Tom, Tom, who thinks that Spike is such a lazy slug because Tom's house is right next to Twilight's library where Spike resides, and I mean seriously couldn't Spike have just walked over and gave Tom the message, or better yet, couldn't Spike have just told Tom in person. I mean what the crap man, Tom was right next door, and the message was like only two sentences long. Man, you know what I think that Spike got a little lazy in his days off. Twilight, you seriously need to get back here, and deal with your lazy, little slob of a pet.

"Well, I would except that, oh I don't know, I am just captured by this new villain that will soon be shown in like two or three chapters", Twilight interrupted my story.

What the crap? Twilight, how the heck did you get here? You're supposed to be all criveling in fear because the villain got you guys all captured.

"Dang it Narrator!! Why you always gotta be spoiling everything?", the audience again.

Hey audience, You stay out of this! I didn't spoil anything, and Twilight was the one who interrupted in the first place!

"Me interrupted? Maybe if you didn't call Spike lazy, and then go and say that I should come back, then maybe I wouldn't have interrupted your dang story!!", Twilight spoke again.

Well, you know what? Why don't I ju--

"Hey guys!!! This is my story anyways, so please get back to it!! You want to have your own story afterward, be my guest, but this is mine, and so lets leave it that way!!!", Tom came on the phone.

Now you listen up Tom! I am the one who was hired to tell your story, and you listen up I can quit anytime I want, so you better just shut up, and-- Wait Tom what are you doing? Tom, wait don't come in my house... Wait Tom I'm sorry, No please don't do that------

Man, How many people am I going to have to hire. Ya, by the way, this is the boss man again. Tom went and killed the other narrator so, here is what we are going to do, I am going to hire another one. He will be here in like thirty days so, ya sorry, but he is shipping from Antarctica. He is coming. As for what just happened, let's pretend that it didn't happen for just a second, and continue to let the story play out, okay? Good, now sit back and listen.

THIRTY DAYS LATER

Hello! I am going to get right to the story, after I introduce this joke. The joke is, Why did the fat turkey cross the road? Because he was going to get hit by my car! Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaha......... Laugh or die. Okay, so about three hundred people didn't laugh, and they all died. No just kidding. Or am I? Mwhahahahahahahahahahah. Okay, back to the story, so Tom gets this message, and walks over to Spike's house, which is literally like ten feet away. When Tom knocks on the door, no dragon answers. Tom knocks again. No dragon answers. Tom knocks again. A dragon replies, "Who is it?".
Tom is then all like with his reply, "It is orange?". Then Spike is all like, "Orange who?". Tom finally finishes with, "Orange you going to open the door?". Ohahahahahahahahahaha, Wasn't that funny? Mwhahahahahah--

"Yo, Narrator (Tom got his whole gangsta setup on), I didn't even say that lame joke! And dude, we heard that like a million times before!!"

Oh right sorry, I was just like in the zone, as it were, so here is the real conversation between Spike and Tom.

"Hey, is any dragon home?", asked Tom.

"Ya, man, I-- I (Spike burps, which means that he is probably drunk from hot sauce) I-- bro, I am just like here man", Spike replied.

"Okay, well Spike, You sent me a message in the mail, even though we're like two feet away. Dude, why did you spend all that money on that stamp, there like two million dollars for one, man?"

"Oh, well Tom, actually I used Twilight's entire (burp) life savings on that crap man, It was like so totally awesome bro (Spike burps again)"

"Okay, well Spike, you don't sound so good perhaps I should come back at another time?"

"No! no man, I got this here let me open the door". Spike heads over to the door, but since he is like really drunk it takes him like two hundred minutes to get there. He finally does though. "Yo man, what up look man so come in to like the outside man?"

"Spike, you do realize that you are in Twilight's house, right?"

"No bro, I am outside of Twilight's house dude."

"Okay, well anyway, umm Spike what was that message that you wanted to give me?"

"Oh, ya, well look Tom basically, everyone's been enslaved up in over in that Canterlot place, so basically, they need you to go and like rescue them, man"

"ME!! Spike why didn't they ask for you? I mean seriously! Didn't you save the Crystal Empire or something?"

"No, dude, Cadance saved that dump (Of course, Spike was saying this even though his place was worse than Davy Jone's locker)"

"But dude, every body said that you saved it, man"

"Ya well whatever Tom, look you going to go and save them or what? Because if you ask me, I am enjoying my hot sauce just fine, thank you very much! So anyways, I am going to-- (Spike falls on the floor, knocked out because he had way too much hot sauce)"

"Okay... Well, I guess I will just leave Spike there because I am a good rock", said Tom (How that is a good thing, I don't know, but if you recall Tom killed our other narrator like thirty paragraphs back or whatever so just let Tom be Tom, and stop interrupting the story!).

Anyways, Tom goes back home to think about what just happened, and what he should do about it. He thinks so hard, that when he comes out of his thought, he finds that someone had sculpted him into the Thinker (No, I am just kidding, but he does think late into the day, or night because Tom actually woke up in the day). Tom finally decides. However, because I am a sinister narrator, I am going to make you wait until the next chapter to hear what happens. Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha--uhh Choking, random fly came into my mouth. I am dying. I am dead.

DANG IT!!!! I am sick and tired of hiring all of these narrators! Ya, by the way, its the boss man again, and the other narrator just died because he swallowed a fly, the spider went to the fly, the cat went to eat the spider, the dog went to eat the cat, Oh, for the love of Pete, I think you already know this nursery rhyme. Basically, the other narrator died, and I have to hire another one, so in the next chapter you will get a new narrator who will reveal Tom's decision of whether he will go and save the day or whether he will stay at home, and be a bum. Good luck, and just wait for the next chapter.

Comments

[Pixels]

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lntvzpbNt61qafrh6.gif

[Caleb Roy]

2162068 I see what you are saying my man. I will see what I can do about that then.

[Sneaky]

I'm really enjoying this story, but the audience is right. The narrator interrupts too much.

And I don't know why, but when I read this story, it magically cures writing block. No idea why. But I'm fine with that.

[Caleb Roy]

2168111 Well don't you all worry... remember that a new narrator is going to be hired. His name is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Ohhhhhhhhh spoilers. No I am just kidding. We will soon see what the new narrator is going to be called, and hopefully, just hopefully, he won't interrupt way too much.

[Bulder]

Okay, what is all this meta doing here?