Ma Petite Chou-Fleur
“I must say, I find your suit quite exquisite.”
“Zank you, madam. You would not believe how hard it is to find culture in a place like zis.”
Spy was leading Rarity down to the Intelligence Room. As they made their way, the fashionista looked around. “I suppose it would be. Though I cannot for the life of me understand the obsession with the colour red.”
Spy couldn’t help but catch the note of mild disgust in her voice. He let out a laugh. “Company policy, ” he said as he opened a door. “Ze same reason why we all wear red.”
“Thank you,” Rarity said as she entered the room. She was taken aback at how much of a gentlecolt (or ‘gentleman’, the correct term for his kind) Spy was. The others had acted so... brutish that she had been worried that they were all like that. Yet here was proof that she had been completely wrong. There was also something about his accent that she found incredibly alluring.
Spy couldn’t help but feel sorry for the mare under his instruction. She seemed... well, not innocent, not by a long shot, but certainly unsuited to the lifestyle he had been living for the past four years. Yet, he was also intrigued. For a woman (or rather, mare) who seemed to focus so heavily on appearance, there was an incredible depth to her.
Spy eased himself onto the desk and pulled his butterfly knife from the folds of his suit. He absently played with it, opening and closing it so fast that it seemed he would lose a finger.
Rarity eyed the carefree way he played with his knife uneasily before clearing her throat. “Well, I am - ”
“Rarity ze unicorn, fashion designer and owner of Carousel Boutique in ze town of Ponyville,” Spy interrupted. “You have a little sister by ze name of Sweetie Belle. Your favourite colour is purple and you are a perfectionist.”
Rarity gaped. “H-How did you know all that?” she asked, feeling very insecure about how much he knew.
“I am ze Spy. It is my job to know zings, regardless of how important zey are. Tell me, what else do you zink I do for ze Team?”
“Well,” Rarity said hesitantly, “I suppose keeping track of what your opposition are doing is important. Right?” she asked.
Spy nodded as he folded his knife. “Zat is quite accurate. For me to perform my duty, I must be, how you say, ‘in ze know’.” Rarity seemed pleased with herself. “But zere is more to what I do zan simply gazzering information. Ze role of saboteur and assassin are both mine as well.”
Rarity was disgusted. “You... murder for a living?” she asked, taking a step back.
“Zat is one way to look at it, yes.” Spy pulled his cigarette case from his suit and opened it. “Ze ozzer part of my job is infiltration.”
Rarity looked the man up and down. “I can’t see how you do that. After all, you do look quite... unique, if you don’t mind me saying.”
Spy let out a small chuckle. “It all depends on ze tools, Miss Rarity. After all...” Without warning he was engulfed in a cloud of white smoke. When it cleared, he was gone. In his place sat a certain purple unicorn, sitting on her haunches. Rarity gaped. “Nothing is better than a good disguise,” said Twilight Sparkle, smiling smugly.
“Twilight? But... how? I didn’t sense any magic!” Rarity looked around frantically. “Where did Spy go?”
“Right here,” Twilight said as she jumped down from the desk. Instead of four hooves hitting the ground, only two noises could be heard. “You shouldn’t always believe your eyes, Rarity. After all...” She walked around Rarity, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. When it dispersed, Spy was there, brushing at his suit to get rid of any dust and smoking a cigarette. “It is ze easiest sense to fool.”
“How did you do that?” Rarity asked, her horn glowing. “There was absolutely no magic whatsoever!”
“Who needs magic when you have ze skill? I consider it my special talent,” Spy said, unaware of just how significant that statement was in pony society. He took a drag and let out a plume of white smoke. He walked behind Rarity. “Of course, looking ze part is never enough. You must not only appear to be zem, you must actually be zem in every way as well.”
“Well I can see how that - ” Rarity cut herself off as she looked behind her. Where she had expected to see Spy, there was naught but thin air. “Spy?” she asked, looking around. “Spy?” This time, her voice was timid as she looked at every corner, trying to find him. “Where are you?”
“Right behind you,” Spy whispered in Rarity’s ear as he reappeared. The unicorn let out an ear-splitting shriek and galloped to the other side of the room in an instant.
“What was that for!?” she yelled at Spy, who was doubled over and snorting in laughter. At that moment she felt like hitting him.
“Pl-please forgive me, mademoiselle, ze temptation was too much.” He took a deep breath and recomposed himself. “It is my job to fill ze enemy with fear, paranoia and distrust. After all, if he is too distracted by what might be lurking in ze shadows, how is he to focus on ze battle? If I have zem checking every shadow, wasting zeir ammunition on every sudden noise, how can zey fight when ze time comes? If my enemy cannot trust his own senses, how can he expect to trust his own comrades in battle?” He pulled out another cigarette. “A battle is not won zrough overwhelming firepower or brute force like Heavy or Soldier would have you zink. No, it takes but a single knife, placed with ze skill and love of an artist.”
Rarity was not sure how to feel. After all, he was comparing the act of murdering to something as peaceful as painting. Yet, she could see that he had a point. Being an artist herself, she could understand the importance of one seemingly insignificant detail changing everything, bringing it all together as a glamorous finishing touch... or making the whole thing an abomination to all the senses.
“Now zen...” Spy took out his butterfly knife and held it out, still close for Rarity. “Shall we?”
“Are you sure about zis?”
“Well, you did say the only way to get a feel for what I’ll be doing is by practising. And Rainbow does deserve it...”
Spy and Rarity walked out the base, not that anyone actually noticed. They were both using Spy’s Cloaking Watches, Rarity using the Enthusiast’s Timepiece. She didn’t exactly like it, and had resolved to alter the aesthetics of all the watches before the beginning of the war games. So, like a pair of spectres they passed unnoticed by the guards on patrol. Their targets, Rainbow Dash and Scout.
They didn’t even have to try to locate them. Their shouting could be heard clearly from the battlements, quite the achievement as it was a good two minute walk to get to them. There was no way that the Cloaks would last that long, so they had opted for a different strategy.
“You two still fightin’?” Rarity asked, perfectly mimicking Applejack’s drawl. The look of surprise would have given her away had the others not been arguing.
“Why can’t you two just get along?” Spy asked, copying Engineer.
“You expect me to get along with this self-centered jerk!?” Rainbow asked.
“Like you’re any better!” Scout shot back, hefting his baseball bat and pointing it at the technicolour mare. “Fastest mare in Equestria my ass!”
“You gonna try and hit me, are ya!?” Rainbow taunted, flying out of reach.
“Oh that’s it.” Scout reached into his small backpack and pulled out a baseball.
“I shoulda seen this happenin’,” Spy/Engineer said, face-palming.
“Ah know what ya mean,” Rarity/Applejack replied.
There was a brief pause between the pair of saboteurs as they watched Scout hit several baseballs at Rainbow Dash, who deftly dodged each one.
“That the best ya got?”
“I swear, I am gonna make you pay!”
“I can’t say I’ll miss all this hollerin’ after I string you up in mah workshop,” Spy said, sneering at the loud pair of speedsters.
“And Ah reckon them wings’ll look real nice in mah room. Can’t say Ah’ll miss the rest of ya, though,” Rarity said, letting a rather dark and twisted smile cross Applejack’s features.
“W-WHAT!?” Rainbow almost exploded right there from the sheer shock of what she had heard the pony she thought was her best friend say.
Scout, on the other hand, knew immediately what was going on. He swung his bat and slammed the ball hard, sending it right at Engineer’s head. Engineer fell hard and hit the ground before he was engulfed in a white cloud of smoke. When it cleared, Spy had taken the Texan’s place and was rubbing his head. “Nice try, Frenchie, but you need to do better’n that to get me.”
“I guess we did lay it on a little thick,” Rarity said as she removed the paper mask with Applejack’s face on it.
“Surely ze ball was a little much?” Spy asked as he picked himself up off the ground, passing the baseball back to Scout.
“Rarity?” Rainbow asked, not knowing what to think. “Ah - buh - whuh - ” Eventually she found her tongue. “How can you even think that was funny?” she asked, unable to raise her voice, the mental shock still overwhelming her.
“Consider it payback for that time you switched out that ensemble I made for Applejack with a bondage outfit,” Rarity replied as she looked absently at her hoof, as though inspecting it for any dirt.
“I thought you were over that!” Rainbow responded, her voice picking up some volume.
“Bondage...?” Scout asked quietly, blinking.
“Oh please,” Rarity said, ignoring the two humans. “Do you have any idea how long it took to convince Applejack that I did not plan on doing anything like that with her?”
“It was Twilight’s idea!”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“Never would have zought zat zey would have such zings here,” Spy muttered, Scout nodding in agreement before stepping forward.
“Hey, uh, Rarity was it?” The unicorn looked around, surprised by the Bostonian's intrusion.
“Yes?” she answered carefully.
“I’m real happy that you figured out how to go around scaring the crap outta people like Spy there,” he punctuated his point with a thumb over his shoulder, “but you’re distracting Rainbow. Do ya mind?”
“Well, I have done all I wished to do here so...” Rarity walked off, Spy following behind.
“You let your surprise show,” Spy said as they walked away.
“You didn’t tell me how effective the disguise would be,” Rarity said. “It was as though she was standing right there!”
The Frenchman chuckled. “Well, zat is ze whole point of ze disguise. If it can fool your friends, it can certainly fool your enemies.”
Rarity nodded. “I’m not usually one for pranks, but I can see that what you do is far beyond such childish activities.”
“Indeed,” Spy agreed. He turned to speak to Rarity, but she wasn’t there. He looked around. “Miss Rarity?”
He narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the immediate area. He knew she was nearby, she had to be. Without warning something shoved him in the back, sending him face-first into the ground. “Right behind you, darling,” she heard a female voice say. He turned to see Rarity, looking very impressed with herself.
Name: Rarity
Class: Spy
Weapon loadout
Primary: Revolver
Secondary: Sapper
Melee: Butterfly Knife
Equipment: Disguise Kit, Invisibility Watch
Job: Uncloak and Dagger
And the ending flourish, because it seems necessary.
Author’s Notes:
It took so much willpower to NOT call this chapter Ma Petite Guimauve (My Little Marshmallow)
Can anyone guess what Rarity is referring to, about the switched-out ensemble?
Oh, and ‘Bostonian’ is the correct word to use when describing someone from Boston. Thank you Wikipedia.
And I would like to apologise for the INCREDIBLE delay. I just kind of... got really fucking stuck. Also why this is shorter than all the others.
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An update. Is this for real? I'm going to break a window.
Ma petite guimauve would have been very appropriate
528182
Woah, hey, let's not go crazy here...
Holy shit wow. This is an amazing crossover.
528186 Why the hell not mate? Goin' crazy's fun
!
Anywho, kinda disappointed I didn't find this sooner. Uncertain, is this training actually gonna help 'em considering they're war games or is there a respawn system of some sort?
Here's hoping for a Dashie training chapter sometime in the future, but I'll be completely honest here. Every training session thus far has been... magnificent
.
528310
Engineer expressed concern for Applejack when she briefly disappeared, as she would be done for if something had fallen on her because the ponies had not, at that point, been calibrated into the respawn system.
528332 I see. Thanks for replying mate.
Not what I meant though, sorry for not being clear. I meant in the eventual trainees vs Gryphons, is lethal force prohibited or permitted, the latter implying a respawn system?
You actually got around to posting it, good job.
528344
Ah, I see.
Yes. There will be much bloodshed.
Fuck yeah. Don't find it very in character though for spy to not immediately notice Rarity's dissappearance. It was good for the effect though.
Kinda iffy about the outfit. Maybe something more feminine prehaps?
lol, with engineer, at the end with applejack walking in the shadows to the australium, i thought you were foreshadowing again and that rarity with Spy would sap his sentry.
rarity while cloaking: "you know, hiding wont save you"
see avatar pic for more info on spah
definately include the announcer... makes life a whole lot more interesting
Who's next? Heavy or scout?
533834
I would like to thank you for, in general, destroying a larger number of brain cells than I would have otherwise lost today. OW.
538004
ummmm... your welcome? .... sorry. i play TF2 and thought it was funny at the time...
anyways, i really like the story. i thank you sir for giving me a few hours of reading, re-reading, and laughing my ass off. keep up the awesome work. looking forward to the next chapter :3
You should have added that tittle its awesome :D
Oh and i do like this chapter a lot
MOAR
I don't get the reference you mentioned with applejack's bondage outfit. Could someone please enlighten me?
Otherwise excellent story, thanks for the laughs
a>run update.exe
now this... this is good.
Couldn't Rarity just levitate the weapons with her magic? Considering how she deftfully floats pieces of fabric around her, a butterfly knife, which takes more skill than a regular knife, would be absolutely devastating. Also, the Engineer wouldn't need to adjust Spy's handguns for her hooves.
Also, I have no clue what story you're referencing. Could you give us the answer? PLEEEEEAASSSSE?
595270>>1035077
Yeah, please give us the reference. I want to read the story you're referncing.
No regrets.