The Measure of a Prince
The next morning the headlines were all rendered in the largest font size possible for every different type of publication that flooded onto the newsstands. Tabloids, newspapers, legitimate magazines. No matter the subject all were carrying some variation of the very lurid moment Prince Blueblood's hoof impacted the blue unicorn paparazzo on the forehead. Accompanying the photos were any number of headlines, including, 'A Royal Disaster' 'Prince Spill-Blood' 'White Knight's Dark Night' and 'Dinner and a Brawl.'
The response had been swift, if somewhat confused. Prince Blueblood and Connie had been swept into the carriage by Destrier Dark Skies, who hitched himself up and took them away back to the palace. The constables on the scene were occupied by the near-riot of other photographers and reporters, as well as tending to the stricken stallion, who had been surrounded by flashing cameras and eager questions.
The legal questions began as soon as some semblance of order had been restored. Calls to the palace from the Canterlot constabulary were answered immediately and without prevarication. Blueblood had been taken into the custody of Destrier Dark Skies on return to the palace and been confined to his quarters. No airships or other conveyances were prepared for any escape, and neither Princess gave any indication that they were preparing to let Blueblood out.
The paparazzo in question, one Shady Shooter, was treated and released at Canterlot General Hospital. Though a unicorn, and thus generally less robust than a pegasus or earth pony, his attacker had similarly been a unicorn, and though big, not naturally very powerful. As well, the blow had been struck near the heavily-cornuted juncture of horn and skull, at the anchor point, the strongest spot in a unicorn's skeleton. He had a lump on his noggin but none of the signed, sworn statements from the reputable medics at the hospital indicated anything worse than that.
The following days were tense, the palace gates shut tight and the pegasus guards out in force to hold back eager, questioning reporters and desperate photogs hoping for a shot of Prince Blueblood out and about. Legal matters concerning nobility were often complex, though streamlined by tradition and judicial pronouncements to leave them not in any more privileged a position than a non-noble, though often with more options for dancing around the proceedings.
The story that emerged in the wake of the action, however, painted a very interesting legal picture. Most of the newspapers and media outlets had been gleefully repeating the 'bad behavior' of Prince Blueblood and puffing about confirming his less-than-sterling reputation. Then “The Canterlot Lunar Sphere”, a small paper that mostly reported on puff pieces, combined official reports from the Palace Press Corps with independent witness reports to tell the tale of a slur-spouting bigot impugning the honor of an innocent maid before a stallion noble enough to take up the cause.
However, before that story broke, there was a penalty to be paid in accordance with the outcry of the journalists.
A detachment of silver-armored dark gray unicorns led Prince Blueblood from his private chamber down into Princess Luna's suit-answering room. The night princess was looking particularly hard and stern, flanked as ever by Lime Sherbert who looked similarly stern.
Blueblood was looking indecisive. He tried to be firm and brave, yet there was a fear in his eyes and a certain tremble in his lips that told he was not as sure of his strength as he appeared. “Great-auntie, please, I know the reports are bad but I have made a statement...”
“Hold!” Luna shouted, in the Royal Canterlot Voice. She looked at the detachment of Lunar Guards. “Milites! Thou art dismissed. Shall we summon thee to return thy charge to his confinement on completion of his doom!” The collection of guards sharply saluted and trooped out of the room. As they left the door shut tight and a shimmering magical force covered it.
“I never meant to do it, it was all because of the two photographers,” Blueblood began, his strong look melting into fear and the start of tears.
“Silence!” Luna cried, her eyes flashing white for a moment. She then tilted her head and swiveled her ears a few time to check on something. That done she turned to Blueblood and unleashed the Royal Canterlot Voice again. “We are yelling because we are expected by others to yell! But the words may not be discerned! Thou hadst not brought cause for chastisement but thou wert required to face it all the same! Thou wert only defending the honor of a fair damsel and at last thou hast found will to act as a prince! Yet there still be cause for this venting of our spleen! Violence ne'er be answer when peace may spread her wings!”
Blueblood had been kneeling, preparing for a genuine stream of abuse and punishment. The mix of praise and subtle, familial disappointment and care made his head snap up, tears shining in his eyes. “Wh-what? You... I thought you were going to seriously punish me in preparation for a trial and a real sentence...”
Luna waved off the idea with a flick of her hoof, with a moderated pace and careful position to show it was a dismissal and not a fig. When she spoke it was without the high volume. “Thou hast good fortune. By Fortuna's turn, we are most placated and enraptured of late. Omnia bene, within and without the boudoir. But let that pass. Such is not for all to know. Our knowings art not the stuff of idle talk.”
Blueblood slumped down, tension draining away and leaving him trembling. “Connie... I have not been allowed to see her or ask about her. Is she well?”
“Fear not. Thy beauteous maid be well. She doth pine for thee and worry so after thee. She hath had dispensation from sister and our own self to work not but lament her chained and restricted dearest. Were it not so tragic we would think it a mere play. How appropriate in the circumstance under which it transpired. But let that pass. All this is tragedy yet triumph. As said previous... blood art thou not, thou art princely titled, but thou art now of princely cast. We... I am most pleased in thy growth. From suckling colt to petulant stripling, and now to noble stallion. Not mere noblestallion, but truly a noble stallion. Yes... thine act wast ill, to assault a limner as thou didst, but for defense of thy jenny, and in chastisement of hate. Would that all nobles wert so faithful to ideals of the state. Sister and my self would have no cause to be patrons of salons for the noble in spirit,” Luna said, wistfully, starting to lose her focus.
“Majesty... perhaps you may be straying from the point...” Lime gently touched Luna on the leg.
“Ah! Yes. I thank thee, noble Lime. Thou art quite correct...” Luna looked down on Blueblood with a magnanimous smile. “The courts will expect contrition of thee. Give them thine artifice. There be no shame in such. As truth doth emerge opinion of the many shall be with thee. High shall they hail thee and ill shall they think of thine accuser. Surely shall it come to pass that they of the judiciary and of the population raise hue and cry that sister and myself shall commute thy doom. Until that time, shew thou a chapfallen and drear countenance, that none may be privy to thine hope for triumph.”
Blueblood looked down, stuck out his lower lip a good amount and trembled a little bit. “How is this, great-auntie?” He asked, his voice a pitiful whine.
“Nay!” Luna hit Blueblood with a lick of the Royal Canterlot Voice, her eyes flashing white. “Nephew! Be thou in earnest? Hast thou naught of the thespian art in thee? Thou hast all life imitated a terrible being and hast thou undertaken other seemings. Let not thy face betray thee. Be thou strong in thy security, yet gaze not up. Shew thee defiance, yet humility, and shew it strongly, for such is the manner of a prince.”
Blueblood brought his face back into a neutral cast, not frightened or imperious, but merely abiding. His eyes looked to the ground but his ears remained high. “Is this right, great-auntie?” His voice was low, but unwavering.
Luna bestowed him with a broad, bright smile. “Huzzah, nephew! Hast thou mastered the act of the defiant defeated. Clear thy thoughts of Connie, lest thy feeling burst forth. Know that she is well, that she hath loosed many words of praise to thy princely bearing, and that she doth await to give thee thine earnéd thanks. In what form this may come, I know not. It be not in my nature to wonder after such.”
Lime stifled a laugh with a soft snort, coughing into her hoof when Luna turned a glare on her. “Your majesty... aubergine... to say nothing of butternut and zucchini.”
Luna faced forward with a sudden light blush coloring her cheeks. “Verily, verily Lime. Thou speakest well. Forgive mine attempt at mocked modesty. It doth ill become me. I well know what form her joy for thy presence and nobility may take. Recall that the bonds of matrimony make best the joys of...” Luna noted Lime looking at her and cleared her throat. “Intention and the trueness of heart that may lead to matrimony, too, sweeten th' intemp'rate fires of lust and alloy them to a thing worthy and good. As thou hast made all effort and bended thy knees to Connie, and as she has cried thy name in grief and joy, there can be no other end but the highest of unions.”
“I always thought I would be like my parents, matched for politics and money. I am... glad they live far away and disconnected thanks to my assumption of the honorarium following attaining majority. They have not been choosing my prospective mates. They would never have chosen my perfect match. One look at her ears and knees and blank flank and she would be dismissed. What I would have lost in that case!” Blueblood broke his look for a moment then immediately went back to his downcast strength.
“Aye, the two are well placed far away and stuff'd with bits to see them ne'er darken this palace again. How fortuitous they may not object nor may they basely reject this fine jenny that doth match thee in those ways in which she doth not surpass thee.”
“And there are more of those than otherwise. But I thank her for wanting to marry down,” Blueblood said, unable to stop a smile from coming to his face.
Luna smiled in return, motioning to the door. “Prepare thy countenance and dread naught. Sister and mine own self shall make all maneuvers necessary that shall keep thee from harm and spirit thee back into thy beloved's grasp posthaste.”
Blueblood nod and dropped his smile. As soon as his face had regained the proper look the seal over the door was lifted and the doors opened. At that signal the small guard detachment marched back in, arranged themselves around Blueblood and marched out of the room with them.
Lime shook her head once the room was clear and turned to Luna. “What will you do, your majesty? Even knowing what transpired there must still be a trial. Assault is serious.”
Luna tutted softly and smiled. “Fret not, Dame Lime. Do I have a solution. Mine antiquity doth serve in greater measure than it doth hinder.”
Lime tilted her head curiously. “What do you mean, majesty? There's not much to be done, old or new, about him being tried. You can't just make it go away without an outcry.”
“It may be so, my maid. 'Twas not mine intention. The many shall ask he be released, for truth will spread her wings. 'Twas ever thus. In the meanwhile there still may be some thing that may be done to ensure all be fair,” Luna said, lighting her horn and bringing a scroll, quill and ink to her.
“Ancient law does seem to have most excellent solutions to troubles. I am glad you remembered,” Celestia said, sotto voce, aside to Luna. Both princesses were sitting at their thrones, dressed in elaborate robes with attached barding, swords strapped to their sides and shields hung on their backs. Both also wore tabards marked with their personal crests. For some reason, though Celestia had no food or drink, Luna had a partially eaten apple on the arm of her throne.
“Not all ancient things be useless in a new world. Truly do I love this world and all that walk within, but those things long held and so often forgotten still may serve when need is great. Let us then turn to the matter at hoof and have done,” Luna said, similarly quiet. She turned her attention to the front, where a courtroom had been set up, with tables for both sides, along with some space for a gallery, with guards keeping things orderly.
“Your majesties...” The green pegasus mare at the table holding Shady Shooter stood up and looked around. “This seems highly irregular. I do not mean to question your impartiality, of course, but you are the technical relatives of the accused, and extremely... politically powerful as well.”
Celestia grandly nodded her head and looked aside at Luna. “I defer to my sister, the author and architect of this creative solution.”
Luna accepted the nod and returned it, looking down on the lawyer. “Aye, 'tis irregular, as thou sayst, in this new era. But in relation to ages long past, 'tis not so strange. The statutes be unchanged in canon of law, that do allow that judge over nobles be of their station or above, lest the noble pony heed not doom of the august magistrate. As Blueblood be our nephew and he be prince by law and tradition, he hath rank o'er any justicar in all the nation, save we. Thus we be equal adjudicators of this matter and our judgment, once set, shall hold.”
The pegasus mare nodded her head and sat back behind the table. “Very well, I understand your majesties. Will I be required to wear a wig or something?”
“If a peruke dost thou require it shall be granted. We do wear the ancient raiment as to increase our gravity and judicial bearing. Address us as thou wouldst any justice and as thou might the jury. In us doth reside the trust and will of all the populace,” Luna noted with a slight smile.
“I also note with some confusion that the accused is not represented by anypony. Surely the Palace has many lawyers on retainer or at least within the habitation,” The prosecutor noted with a tilt of her head.
“I am competent to stand in my own defense,” Blueblood noted with a brushing of his tuxedo. “I have been though a legal education. While I may not act as judge, solicitor or barrister to any other, as I lack my certifications, I believe that I may stand in my own defense and perform admirably well. Do not worry, your time is not being wasted.”
“I would never imply such a thing, Prince Blueblood,” The lawyer rose again and came out around to the front of the table. “Your majesties, my name is Parlay Due Loophole, or just Parlay...”
Princess Luna interrupted Parlay with a soft snort and polite applause. “Bon blague, Madame Loophole. Un amusement de langue très joli.”
Parlay just stared at Luna for a moment, unable to think of what to say to that. She finally shook her head and continued from the point of interruption, “And I am here to argue the case of my client, one Shady Shooter. We demand not only restitution from the accused, and some measure of punishment but also that said accused be stripped of his noble title, as he has demonstrated that he cannot hold it with honor and dignity.”
“Normally I would object to such extreme measures. It is completely out of proportion with the accusation,” Blueblood said, with a fairly even tone. “I am no separatist-supporter, supremacist or Discordian traitor. The matter was a case of simple assault, with mitigation, I state to the court. However, if you believe depriving me of title is necessary, then let it be done. I am guaranteed a royally-insured lifetime stipend even if the honorarium is revoked and can live quite comfortably with that. The only party truly being hurt is, as at the theater, Connie, who will lose her happily ever after.”
“That's a lie, I never hurt that lo- that donkey!” Shady cried, rising up and pointing an accusatory hoof at Blueblood.
“Order!” Princess Celestia cried, her own version of the Royal Canterlot voice carrying an undeniable aura of command. “Miss Parlay, control your client!”
“A-as you command, your majesty,” Parlay said, with a quiver. She quickly dashed to her client's side and began to harshly whisper into his ear.
“I intend,” Blueblood continued, unperturbed, “To demonstrate that while the overall facts of the matter may be correct I was justified in my activities through mitigating circumstances and that any punishment to be imposed ought to be light.”
“Before I call anypony up to provide testimony I must reiterate to the court that in addition to confirmation from numerous eyewitnesses and photographic evidence the accused does not contest the accusation. His defense has been entirely affirmative. Which is why my client asked for a civil tribunal. If this matter can be dispatched quickly and efficiently we can take our damages and go.”
“Very good then, Miss Parlay. Call your first testimonial subject,” Princess Celestia said.
“I have only one. I call my client Shady Shooter,” Parlay said, leading Shady to a low bench placed between the two thrones. “Do you swear that the testimony you will give will be, to the best of your knowledge and ability, the true and accurate representation of the facts of the matter in question?”
“I do so swear,” Shady replied, sitting himself down on the bench.
“Please tell the tribunal, in your own words, of the events that transpired on the night in question, in particular those leading up to the incident at discussion,” Parlay said.
“Alright. On the night in question I got a call from my fellow independent photographer, Red Eye, that Prince Blueblood was out on a date, a never-before-captured event. I rushed with my equipment to find the crowd at Umi to Ringo. It was a mess. But we took a gamble on the next destination and went to the Royal Canterlot Theater. We got in at the front of the line near the passage the ushers were making for the two of them. We engaged in conversation until the carriage arrived and we got to snap pictures. We continued to converse about various subjects while waiting for the two of them to emerge from the theater. We took pictures as the two went up the aisle. Then Prince Blueblood shoved Red aside with his magic while hitting me in the head with his hoof,” Shady said, in a very even and rehearsed manner.
“That should be all. Prince Blueblood, would you care to ask anything of my client?” Parlay asked.
“But of course,” Blueblood said, rising sedately from behind his table and strolling to the bench. “Mister Shooter... what was the substance and subject of your conversation with Mister Red Eye?”
“The subject and substance were both personal and confidential,” Shady said, with a light snort.
“You are under oath, Mister Shooter,” Blueblood said, with a calm, smooth tone, “Now please relate the substance and subject of the conversation, as true and accurate representations of the facts of the matter.”
“Truly and accurately, the fact of the matter is that the conversation was a personal and private matter, Prince,” Shady snorted, adding extra contempt to the title.
“I have here the signed, sworn, verified and uncoerced testimony of your aforementioned partner, Red Eye, detailing the subject and certain particulars of the conversation,” Blueblood said, using his magic to levitate out a piece of paper.
“Objection!” Parlay called out, slamming a hoof down on the table. “I was never given a copy of this nor have I had a chance to speak with Mister Red Eye myself!”
“Overruled!” Celestia shouted. “This is a civil tribunal, not a criminal one, as you so carefully noted. Prince Blueblood was under no obligation to reveal his pieces of evidence. The tribunal accepts this for consideration.”
“Then I object on procedural grounds! Sworn statements are for eyewitness accounts of a happening, not of conversational details! This is hearsay!” Parlay shouted.
“Overruled! Red Eye was a second party to the conversation and has had substantive portions of the mentioned details confirmed by independent witnesses according to the notations accompanying the sworn statement. That falls under an exception to limitations on hearsay. Public conversations are not the kind of thing you can easily hide, Miss Parlay, not even under the law,” Celestia said, giving Parlay a stern gaze.
“Mister Shooter, in the statement of Red Eye it was stated that the conversation questioned the moral rectitude of Co- of the jenny accompanying me to the theater, and also that disparaging remarks were made concerning donkeys in general, which included but were not limited to a lack of a Cutie Mark, the state of their knees and a denigration of mules and those who produce them,” Blueblood said, his even tone wavering as he fought to hold back his emotions.
“That conversation... was personal and private,” Shady said, some of the wind out of his sails. He still glared up at Blueblood, and ground his teeth. “You still hit me. You don't deny it. I have witnesses.”
“And I have mitigation,” Blueblood stated, on the verge of seething. “The sworn statement, with corroboration from other sources, indicate you were mockingly braying at the jenny in question, with the intent of insulting her ethnic heritage and denigrating her personally, as at the time you were insulting the creation of mules.”
“You still... hit me...” Shady repeated, impotently.
“I am finished with this subject,” Blueblood said, voice dripping with contempt. He turned away and trotted back to his own table. “With this statement I feel my defense by mitigation is solid.”
“A defense by mitigation denies any punitive damages. Will you drop your suit against Prince Blueblood, Miss Parlay?” Celestia asked.
“I still request a summary judgment, your majesties,” Parlay said, a trifle humbled. “I must take my client's case as far as I may. Prince Blueblood still performed a violent act and assaulted a citizen of Equestria, a very serious thing when the nobility are involved. Some penalty must be assessed somehow.”
“Aye, in sooth it must be so,” Luna said. “Therefore, stand thou, great-nephew, and receive of us thy doom.”
Celestia and Luna booth stood, as Blueblood did. “We jointly and unanimously find you guilty of assaulting a non-noble citizen of Euqestria,” Celestia said, quickly adding, “With mitigation, as you were defending the dignity of another figure being verbally abused on the basis of ethnic identity.
“As is the right of this august tribunal we do leave the decision of doom unto the populace at large. Shall Prince Blueblood be returned to custody to await decision of the population.”
“Excuse me, your majesty but... what does that mean?” Parlay asked.
Celestia broke her stern demeanor to smile just slightly. “I had almost forgotten myself. But my sister remembers ancient law very well, and can see which are still on the books. A Royal Tribunal like this could involve favoritism and fiat. Scrutiny is important, no matter the verdict. And if we think it it is necessary, the actual punishment is left up to vote by the population of this metropolis, so we are not seen as tyrannical. They could even overturn a guilty verdict if they think it is appropriate.”
“So what does that mean?” Shady asked.
“It means... you had better hope all citizens of Canterlot, donkeys included, hate donkeys as much as you do,” Parlay said, slumping dejectedly behind her table.
The Canterlot Lunar Sphere story broke just before the vote on the verdict was expected. Because of the gravity of the situation a period of time was allowed to pass to let the citizens of every terrace to absorb the news and consider carefully. The true story and all the details had time to circulate fully through all the media outlets.
The real story defused the usual knee-jerk mockery of Blueblood, and changed a lot of the appearances that needed to be presented by all the various populations, especially in the nobility and the especially rich and powerful ponies. With Blueblood being held up as a forthright, pure-souled defender of a slighted jenny maid and paragon of goodness, not to mention a perfect example of a pony in an inter-sentient relationship. A lot of the theater patrons from that night made shocked and scandalized comments about the happenings and expressed pure disbelief that such terrible happenings could occur in Canterlot.
It was a foregone conclusion that all the palace folk would vote to nullify the verdict. From the guards to the servants, all the ones that used to use Blueblood as their go-to punchline were solidly behind him, all but building a statue of him. It was one of their number that had been slighted, and it was Blueblood that had dared to rush up to her defense.
For all the other, ordinary citizens of the mountain the vote came down to what they thought of their home. The entire Principality was cosmopolitan, and growing more so as the likes of buffalo, Diamond Dogs and Changelings were integrated into the nation. Canterlot, at all levels, prided itself as being the true heart of the nation, reflecting all the values of the land, but more often trying to be the one presenting those values first. A certain ego and pride came from being part of Canterlot, no matter the terrace.
The papers trumpeted the results of the vote across all the front pages and cover stories. Blueblood's conviction was overturned. He had been defending a third party from bigoted abuse of a very extreme nature. Given the egregious nature of the bigotry displayed in the evidence that led to the overturning of Blueblood's conviction brought judgments against both Red Eye and Shady Shooter. As Red Eye provided the statements that revealed the true nature of the incident and promised to attend sensitivity courses he was left largely alone. As for Shady...
“Th-this can't be legal!” Shady struggled and thrashed against the bindings he was in. his whole body had been wrapped in fireproof fabric and lots of padding. He was wearing a helmet with attached iron horn cap and his face was smeared in a thick smearing of fireproof cream. He looked very like a very fireproofed taquito.
“Her majesty made certain that the law still existed,” Cavalier Golden Stare said with a smug grin. “It was never removed because most folks simply forgot about it. There was never a reason to apply it... until now.”
“No! This is impossible! No one could ever have done this before!” Shady continued to wriggle and fight against his bonds as Golden, Rosy Cranberry and Dark Skies watched several Lunar unicorn guards sliding him into a huge, brightly painted cannon.
“According to my wife this is what they did to very improper ponies a thousand years ago. Rather than assess punitive damage against you, this was much simpler,” Dark Skies said, looking down range at a giant haystack. “Have all the angles been figured out?”
“Yes, Destrier!” One of the unicorns called, snapping a sharp salute. “We await the command of the Cavalier.”
“Well now, I guess this is your show,” Dark Skies said to Golden.
“As it so often is, in so many places,” Rosy said, with a soft laugh behind a hoof and a deepening of his blush.
Golden coughed into a hoof and did his best to look stern and unaffected despite being very aware that everypony was looking at him. “Aim!” The unicorns carefully directed the cannon towards the haystack. “Prime!” the mechanisms at the rear of the cannon were adjusted and a fuse was inserted into the end. “Fire!”
One unicorn touched a flame to the fuse, sending it slowly down to the cannon. Despite the legality of the punishment it was no longer acceptable to actually use charged powder to fire anypony out of a cannon. It was entirely acceptable, however, to produce a flash for effect while the powder pushed up a launching platform. Shady screamed the entire time he was in the air, hitting the haystack with a grunt and thump.
As the unicorns ran over to check on his condition and release him from all of his bindings Golden looked on the caved-in haystack and asked the other pegasi, “Given what he did don't you kind of wish he had missed?” The others just sagely nodded their heads.
“Oh you!” Connie slammed heavily into Blueblood and gave him a near-bone-crushing hug, rubbing her snout against his neck. “I can't believe this.”
“And it is wonderful to see you too!” Blueblood squeaked, returning the hug with what strength he could muster. “I do hope you did not miss me too badly.”
“Heh, well, maybe not as much as you missed me...” Connie said, releasing Blueblood and giving him a shy smile. “But I... I did. I missed you, Blueblood. I missed you...”
“Well did he stand, strong and sure, knowing that truth would free him from the clutch of evil. In all did his soul steel itself as thine image did impress upon it. To be with thee wast his only aim, and he did aim true,” Luna said, standing proudly by Connie and Blueblood. “All this city, and surely all the nation beside doth cheer his goodness. He doth bring honor to his status, and to me.”
“And me,” Connie said, planting a quick, warm kiss on Blueblood's lips. “So that's what a good first date is like. A mob scene, insults and a fight.”
“I... am sorry,” Blueblood said softly. “It was never my intention...”
“Take me on another date,” Connie said, lightly nudging Blueblood with a smile. “I've never had two.”
“Something inside the palace, perhaps? There would be far more privacy,” Blueblood noted.
“I think I could stand that,” Connie laughed.
“Maybe a party. Say... an engagement party?” Blueblood levitated a bracelet out from an internal pocket. It was gold, with a silver band around the outside, which was studded with precious gems.
“No... no you can't... be...” Connie's eyes were wide, her breath puffing out in shock, one hoof in front of her mouth. Tears sprang to her eyes as Blueblood went down to his knees. “What..?”
“Connie... you were the only one who could ever reach me. The only being in all the world to be in my sphere, and only because you stooped to meet me. Please... let me try to make up for being a bad coltfriend by being a good husband...”
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D'awww, though I can barely understand any of Luna's dialogue. Mules can be cool, there's Mulia Mild, the famous celebrity chef/ninja and there's Ted Maresbe the mule who works on Sweet Apple Acres.
i.imgur.com/sZLo6.jpg
Nice Court room resolution, and Cannon Twist. I wonder when the last time that cannon was used? However, the whole marriage proposal seems a bit rushed. How long have they really known each other? In any event, it is a good chapter.
And they lived happily ever after.
The end.
2406259
Yea, Luna gets that a lot. I mean... it just feels like, to me, it should not be so hard if you just take each sentence and parse it out. It's pretty much remedial Elizabethan. I am not naturally very good at it. It's just that I've had a lot of practice writing her.
And yes, that is one cool mule.
2406270
There no specific time period but it is about three months or so, at the least, given the amount of time they spent feeling one another out. Plus: She made a real prince out of him, and an honoest and true stallion besides. She knows his little secrets and finds him charmingly ridiculous. Plus he went to trial for her sake. He punched out a guy for the equivalent of calling her a N----r. He's good husband material.
2406329
Or did they?
There's one more chapter. Notice it's still not finished.
(insert inhuman squealing pitches here) H-he PROPOSED!! That's just the most romantic, the most... eeeee!
I love Lime's perpetual eyebrow-raise pulling Luna back on track in regards to aubergines and marriage. 
I personally love any time Luna speaks, really, and I love that of COURSE she would remember all these obscure old laws. Sooo excited to see what might be coming next!
2407398
Luna is most useful. As she said her ancient knowlege helps more than it hurts. And Lime has always served as the best voice of reason. Not that it helps all the time: See the Scootakidnapping incident.
Now you've gone and put me in a bind.
On the one hand, the racist bigot got his. On the other, you still don't get to hit people just for crap they say. And he'd already got his by getting punched. I couldn't really draw much enjoyment out of what they did to him. I felt bad for the guy. I shouldn't feel bad for him. Yet, after they went ahead and did that... Let's just say, were I a guard, I'd take my meals and eat elsewhere, since I wouldn't want to have to look at my mates for a few days.
As I said, you've put me in a bind.
Bwah-haw-haw! Why do I think the Dames may soon count a fourth in their number?
2408663
In one sense, I agree with you. That SEEMED like a lot. But even in our world, if you incite to violence and it is found to be egregious you might still be prosecuted, even if you lost the fight you started. As it stands he was being prosecuted under the rough equivalent of "Fighting words" and a variation on "Fire in a crowded theater" both with added ethnic bigoty adding to the penalty.
Plus, to coin a phrase, "Equestria ain't Earth." They may be kind little ponies but they are kind little ponies that live with hydras, Ursas, timber wolves and other things which lack teleological intent, not to mention this particular incarnation has things like Discordians and Objectivist radicals. The law must be firm and pragmatic to keep the ponies from harm. See the "PSA" series for how they do that through mass-media. As for this, the other guards consider this lot LUCKY. At least 90% of them know Connie personally, and some portion probably have donkeys or mules in their family tree. Their Equestria is no place for bigots. That sort of thing is dying a death of a thousand cuts. Platinum Shine, Thunder Crash, Prince Blueblood. Big names. Big, important, trumpeted names are making bigots obsolete.
2409774
How did you guess the plot of the next one? Initiation ceremony and bachelorette party. Plus the Equestrian version of a strip club.
2411060
Too true. And, really, I don't want to feel bad for him- but unfortunately (or, depending on the circumstances, fortunately) I can't just stop that.
Well, I can always fall back on the little fact that what they demanded in court was completely out of bounds. Maybe things wouldn't have gone that way if they'd kept things within reason, but as it stands, that was asking the court to teach you a lesson!
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"Hey! Court! I'm a complete flaming douchebag who got the shit kicked out of me for calling a girl a whore then saying she was ugly and insulting the children she might have, as well as saying I hate her 'kind!' I demand you take away the title from the guy who rightly beat my head into my neck because he made me look stupid."
"Right. This court sentences you to being fired out of a cannon."
And nothing of value was lost.
2411066
The aubergine was a dead giveaway.
So! Lady Cucumber, anyone?
2412748
More like daikon. The color goes everywhere
Luna Guards. Lunar.
imposed out to be light.” ought
Too bad they didn't call in Pinkie, pretty sure the Party Cannon would have sent him into space.
The cannon bit from a single line in a story you've not updated in months? While I get the callback, I still think a Royal Canterlot Reprimand - Celestia Style would have been better.
Also, can't help but think if those two married guards are what passes for the elite in Equestria's military, I wouldn't feel very safe. Just seems like a bit of a lack of discipline there. If they're going to fool around, they should probably not be on duty when they are. It's happened several times in your fics.
Or maybe I'm studying too much WWII stuff and am thinking too hard on abstract subjects about a fictional world that I know nothing about seeing as you've taken creative liberties with it. I don't think your version of Equestria has a nationalistic, militaristic enemy rapidly building strength for war.
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It's not as though they're actively humping on duty. That is still frowned upon. But Celestia (and Luna too) encourage a bit of light-hearted teasing because humor defuses tension and allows for a relaxed atmosphere that is more condusive to proper order. It's easier to follow the rules when you don't feel strangled by them.
They had an enemy attempting to militarize against them. A government-sponsored spook rather dramatically broke the enemy's back, scattered their numbers (the ones that were not arrested and thrown into prison for treason) and made them into a Saturday Morning Cartoon-level villain, to add insult to injury. Sure, it looks like a frivolous place, but as a group like The Everfree Nightwatch shows there are defenders protecting every happy song and sunny day. Anything to keep the many species in a place of beauty and safety.
Great story, I found this when it's lastest chapter was recently updated long ago, however I was occupied and thus not able to comment in a timely manner. I love the format of your story; really great level of detail I find. Great use of Luna's dialogue with the Old English speak; so that's a plus. I love it too that it focus on Blueblood's redemption and romance, as he is servery under-use for a good character in stories, when compared to Trixie's that is. And to top it off, you use an OC who is donkey, once more a material that is rarely used in MLP fanfics.
Overall, this story is very unique, intelligent, and charming for a romance. This story makes me wish I can write as good as you are for my own stories that I have yet to write. Keep up the great work, for I really enjoy it, and I wish you luck in hope that it gets as much views as it rightfully deserves.
2438940
Thank you for all the kind words. It has been an interesting journey (I originally only had three chapters in mind)
You have the good fortune of getting here as it ends. I hope you like that too.
2408128
Just because I love referencing it as much as you do... "We left a note!"
OBJECTION!!
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2525649
The fact that this link still works over a decade later shows how much of a legend it is.