The Agreement
The two stared at each other, Blueblood fairly flustered and practically sweating after his confession, Connie moving between disbelief and anger. She made up her mind in the moment that she leaned up and planted her lips on Blueblood's, holding tight for a long, uncomfortable moment. The kiss was very awkward for both of them, neither one able to get truly comfortable in the press. Connie pulled back with a gasp, panting and dropping her head. Blueblood took the opportunity to speak, saying, “You know, I never really thought about how it...”
Connie placed a hoof on the Prince's lips. “Shut up and kiss me again.”
“Right away.” Cowed into submission by Connie's firmness and self-assurance Blueblood leaned in again for another kiss. He was pathetically bad at it, truly horrible from a lack of practice and no real idea what was expected in a kiss. He kissed paid mares, but they were always positive. He could tell from the way Connie moved her head and lips that he was not impressing her at all. Suddenly, or not so suddenly, that mattered quite a lot.
Connie was unimpressed. No status or nobility could make up for bad kisses. She had kissed jennies and jacks, she was not a blushing innocent. She had dated, but never well. She had never found the right one for her. Blueblood was the weakest of all the kissers, but he was the one that actually fascinated her most. The frustration, the confusion, the mystery. He had hurt her. But... she broke the kiss and shook her head. “You really hurt me.”
“I'm terribly sorry.” Blueblood looked down with a hangdog expression.
“You put things on my ears. My ears!” Connie screamed
“I'm terribly sorry,” Blueblood mumbled.
“You can see they'd be a sore point. I mean... don't you have any tact at all?” Connie asked.
“I'm terribly sorry,” Blueblood mumbled.
“Still... they were such beautiful things...” Connie said with a falling tone.
“I'm terri- what?” Blueblood's head snapped up so fast it was a miracle he did not get whiplash.
“Calm down... the carrot and the cabbage leaves were delicious. I was confused and a little insulted but they were tasty. And... off of your own plate. I never realized but you gave up something of yours, generosity no one has ever noted from you. The clothespins are beautifully carved, the ribbons are beautiful and those feathers... where did you get Bald eagle griffin feathers?” Connie queried.
“Diplomatic exchanges often include significant trinkets. They were from a minor noble of the Griffin Kingdom who had been sent to negotiate a trivial matter. Why do you think I was given the task of helming the talk?” Blueblood laughed a bit hollowly. “My uselessness is often useful...”
“None of that. I'm the one who gets to be mad right now.” Connie actually laughed a bit and gently patted Blueblood on the cheek. “So, Lime really had a talk with you. Did she take you to her majesty?”
“Yes. It was very... very...” Blueblood faltered, with a motion of his hoof.
“No need to say it. I told Lime not to bother on my behalf, and Fireclay was the one that went to Lime, after I told her not to. I'm not sorry it happened... but I wanted to take care of this in my own time,” Connie noted.
“You and I are in agreement. I am not sorry it happened. Oh certainly, it was hard on the ears. Great-auntie is good about punishing the guilty. But she understood... I am only a stupid colt,” Blueblood said with a fall of his ears.
“Oh I told you not to-” Connie began.
“No!” Blueblood took his old commanding tone, a harsh look passing over his face. But it was not directed to Connie. He looked away, meaning it for himself. “It was all true. I was forced to see myself as I am. A stupid colt, thinking that one told the object of their affection of love by putting slugs in their mane.”
Connie reflexively dropped her ears and stroked them with one hoof. “Little colts and jacks used to put all manner of bugs on them... but they did not like me. I was... liked. Now and then some would try to get close. I focused on my work because I knew work would never hurt me. Until...”
“I made your work hurt you. I am terribly-” Blueblood started.
“Shush.” Connie put a hoof on Blueblood's lips again, shaking her head. “Apologize again and I'll really make you sorry.” A laugh broke between the two of them, and she leaned in for another, quicker kiss. “You're a terrible kisser. Really, really terrible.”
“I had no practice. Paid mares would say that a statue kissed well. They try to be very supportive of their clients, after all. But good lies do not help with a real problem. I suppose I must somehow improve my skills in that technique. Is there any way I could persuade you..?” Blueblood asked.
“Just say you want to kiss me. You don't lose your pony license by admitting you want to kiss a donkey,” Connie said with a small laugh.
“I do want to kiss you... and your species never mattered to me. Only your ears... and your beautiful coat. And your luscious mane. The curve of your strong back cannot be denied. And then there are your eyes. And those velveteen lips. They looked so soft but feeling them...” Blueblood said dreamily.
“Yes, yes, you like my body. What about my mind?” Connie demanded.
Blueblood laughed, a light and airy tone that was without nerves. “Your mind... sublime. Lightning fast and wonderfully creative. I was right, from the start. As I said, so quick behind all that scraping servitude. I almost thought you knew. Smart, beautiful, and not hitting me at the moment. I believe I have found the perfect combination of traits.”
“Don't think I didn't consider it.” Connie laughed softly herself. “But even if I was in the right, I didn't because that would have been inappropriate. Until that moment when you grabbed me you were just quirky and bizarre, as all the rumors said. And you did have the decency to let me go after I asked. I did also notice you did not push yourself on me further or demand I return. If I made you cry... I'd be cheeky but you don't deserve it. I'm sorry if I did.”
“I did cry... after a time. After I was punished by great-auntie Luna for what I did not do. And because of what I did. It all came in at once. I do not suppose that you would care to find this admission somehow endearing?” Blueblood asked, looking up somewhat shyly.
“I find that admission honest, and vulnerable. And I like that. It was one thing that surprised me and that made me question your motives. Forgive me my weakness, I blame it on my fellow maids, but I imagined you as a mustache-twirling villain in some intrigue movie,” Connie laughed.
“Well now...” Blueblood stroked his face lightly and considered that for a moment. “I must say... though hardly a flattering thought in the main, there is something to be said for that as compared to other rumors of my nature. It has a good deal more class than a standard buffoon or pervert.”
“Well, I thought that too. I thought a lot of things. You know, I almost didn't come up here. I was almost ready to write you out of my life entirely. It was that off-hoof comment. How you were glad you helped me. I suppose you did. But you don't just say it like that. It makes you sound like a condescending jerk. And I am willing to suspect that you're not really that, at heart,” Connie said.
Blueblood reflexively rubbed his head, right on the spot he had repeatedly knocked against the door following that very exchange. “I am glad you changed your mind. What altered your opinion? Further reflection on my intent?”
“Ha!” Connie patted the prince's cheek and gave it a kiss. “I wasn't thinking about your intent. That was the farthest thing from my mind. I was cleaning you in effigy.” She held up a hoof to the look of confusion she got. “Not important. Anyhow... Fireclay came by while I was attacking my work like a manticore on a fish and offered me cheesecake and a break. Both were highly therapeutic. And that was when I found out she had actually gone to Lime and that you had been yelled at. Then I thought about your vulnerability, the confession of youth activities, and all the things you gave me. I suddenly had to know. I had to know your motivation. If it was all a cruel prank or if you really...”
“I do...” Blueblood slowly reached out and stroked a hoof along one ear. Connie trembled, and the ear flopped down, but his hoof went down to it, stroking it gingerly once more. “And all the rest. Ears to hooves, nose to tail, as they say.”
Connie gave a breathy, nervous laugh, trying to find a position that made her feel comfortable with the gesture. She expected, at any moment, ridicule and derision, or a bug, but could not deny that the caring, soft stroke was very pleasant. “'They' sound pretty nice. And I've gotta say... this, you're very good at.”
“I must confess... do not praise me too highly. I am not really trying as I should...” Blueblood looked down at his hoof stroking that soft, beautiful ear. “I am not doing this with intent and technique. I only wanted to touch one, and wanted you to feel good, to enjoy my efforts. So I am only letting my hoof work as it will.”
Connie kissed the hoof and gave a cheeky grin. “Your hoof is very talented. Your lips could learn a few lessons from it.”
The big unicorn laughed, leaning down to kiss the ear. “I will arrange the tutelage right away. I really do wish to impress you, Connie.”
“Say my name and you will, Prince Blueblood,” Connie breathed.
“Blueblood,” said.
“What? No, that's too close too fast. Distance. Just a bit of distance,” Connie said with a motion of a hoof.
“Do you not wish to be close to me?” Blueblood struck a charming pose and gave his best 'male model' face.
“Not as much as you want to be close to you.” Connie gave him a playful shove which, owing to her donkey strength, moved him a bit more than she intended. “But really... we just came through a real maelstrom of emotions and actions. This has been coming to a head for a while. It needs some time to cool off and normalize. If it is meant to be, we'll still be civil to one another, and more.”
Blublood nodded sagely and dipped his head to Connie. “You are correct, of course. That brilliantly quick mind shows itself once more. I am almost amazed by your sagacious practicality.”
“We donkeys are a very practical species. Don't worry. I have already had my moment of thinking that you are quite handsome. I doubt I will be reversing my decision on that,” Connie said.
“Really now? Handsome, you say?” Blueblood was back to posing, stroking his chin softly. “Just where did your thoughts go in that direction? You know I am considered quite the looker. Magazines just love to have me on the cover.”
“Oh yes. I know the Monthly Planetary News would enjoy having you on the cover as one of the strange beasts supposedly found somewhere remote.” Connie responded flatly, with a roll of her eyes. “Get those kinds of thoughts out of your head... flattering though it is that you're imagining my body responding to how you think I'm responding to you. I just thought that you were handsome. I never really thought that way about a pony. Truth to tell it has been a while since I thought that about anyone.”
“So what you're really saying is that I not only turned your head to a new species but I awoke your inner intimate desires once more?” Blueblood's look and voice were smug, to the point of comedy. He knew what he was saying and doing. He was blatantly playing.
“Oh ha-ha, very funny.” Connie pushed him again, but more lightly. “You're handsome. And you seem to know it. I'll admit it. But that only goes so far. Another thing I need is time to know you, the real one, not the reputation, the rumors or the facade you presented to me. Maybe a date or two. Folks go on those.”
“Folk do go on those, yes, it's true. And they are found to be quite pleasant by all accounts.” The prince returned to slowly petting one of Connie's ears, finding his spirits lifted by the fact that she did not pull away. “It would be my honor and privilege to go on several dates with you.”
“Really now, Prince? You would let yourself be seen in public with a donkey? To be photographed in the upper reaches with a mere scullery maid?” Connie asked with a lift of a brow.
“I would let myself be seen with you. Allow me to tell you a secret. As far as I have ever been concerned there are three strata. My great-aunt, and now great-aunts, myself, and all the rest of the world. Their thoughts of me, meaningless. Their thoughts of you, mere wind and spilled ink. Were I a more poetic pony I would say some glittering words, perhaps something very like, from the moment you were born you were in my sphere, but I was too foolish to know it. I am grateful you finally told me. Your place has been vacant for too long,” Blueblood said with a sweeping gesture of a leg.
Connie waved off the flattery with a deep blush and turn of her head. “Get out of here with that, I'm older than you. Maybe by just a few months but I am. I like sappy mush as much as the next jenny that reads Harlequine novels at night and giggles over the kissing scenes, but I am also very practical, as you said.”
Blueblood leaned in with a very teasing look. “Well now, the mysteries are solved one by one. Did you ever put my face upon the heros' bodies when stallions were involved, after setting your own lovely features upon the swooning damsels?”
“I almost feel like I should leave and let you be alone with your ego. I accepted the faces as they were written, as I would when watching a movie. Perhaps, perhaps, you understand, I imagined myself in the hold of a jenny or jack in the rare cases of one of them being the heroic one. Perhaps there was a dose of whimsey and frivolity in my staid practicality. What harm is there in imagining being swept off your hooves and off to a romantic happy ending? I could still work the next day,” Connie said defensively.
“No harm, no harm at all. It suits you. It seems to have helped you. There's certainly no fun in working all day long. Perhaps you will ridicule me for saying so, but there's a great deal of pleasure to be had from a dash of indolence during the day,” Blueblood said.
“More than a dash, I would think. And you're right, I'd ridicule you for saying that if I didn't think you were right. I like to think I balance work and leisure well enough. I do thoroughly enjoy access to the palace spa. I'm not one for the hooficures or the ponypedis or the styling or any other frivolous thing. But there is something to be said for a soothing mud bath, a soak in the hot tub, and a delicious sauna. I may converse with friends and discuss the events and rumors of the day. That is how they spread, you know. All the areas of the palace can converge and pass along what they have heard and seen,” Connie explained.
“Could they ever forgive you for spilling their secrets in such a fashion?” Blueblood asked.
“Oh honestly, who would you tell? And to what end? Besides... I owe you a secret or two, for all the honesty you have laid bare before me,” Connie said with a blush.
Blueblood gave a slow nod, and began to pace a bit. “Yes... my honesty. A gift to you, as real as the clothespins or ribbons. I owed you so much for hurting you. When you asked I answered, without shame or hesitation. You owe me nothing. I paid you for all my flaws and faults. In the end, I will always owe you more than I can ever pay. You may not know, but from the moment I saw those lovely ears droop under my foolish, withering words, you were perfect for me.”
Connie kept pace with the mobile unicorn, looking up at his face from a lower perspective, to gauge the exact nature of his feelings. “I have no idea what that means. Is this another poetic moment, like me being your perfect match even though you were still a lump hidden by your mother's puffy dress?”
Blueblood actually gave a rather strong chuckle at that assessment and allowed a wry smile to curl his lips. “How you hit the truth. Mother was another proper society mare. Pregnancies were better unseen and unmentioned. They interrupted style, after all. Your mind is like lightning, fast and strong. But no... my father was not a warm stallion, not given to displays of affection or encouragement. But he was a great fan of the strong admonition. His favorite topic, nearly the only one, was the repeated message of caution, to beware of those coming for my power. They would attach, like leeches, to draw off my wealth and status. If I was not cautious of them all, I would be taken by them, used as a mere pawn while another profited at my expense. That is why all my female company has been paid, and why my coterie of nobles has ever been of the sycophantic variety that always knew their place as a scraping secondary, there at my will and pleasure and able to be dismissed with a single gesture.”
“It's a tough life, being the prince.” Connie was not quite dismissive, but she still rolled her eyes. “I hear a lot of boasting, not without cause, I'll be the first to admit. But why does your bad childhood and issues with a cold father mean that you owe me anything?”
“Because you fulfilled every requirement of the admonition I have lived to uphold all my life. You broke through my paranoia and loathing of close company. You did not come for me. I pursued you, I desired you. You did not want me, you pushed me away. Strange as it is to say, I love that most of all. Your intentions, now that you have them, are pure. I could always trust you. Now you no longer need to wonder if you can trust me. I offer you my self. A prize. Many would give everything to have me, you know,” Blueblood said with a charming smile.
“Yes, I believe we covered the size of your ego.” Connie laughed and give Blueblood a little nudge. “But this time, I get it. The intrigue-lovers and status-seekers would sacrifice everything to get you in a vulnerable spot and use that to their nefarious ends. Not just because you make delicious eye-candy, if I may be so sexist, but because all you command would be theirs. Favors galore and the respect of lesser nobles, to do... any number of things. Influence peddling, with the highest value chip possible.”
Blueblood looked quite impressed. “Harlequine novels?”
“You don't learn everything in school.” She winked and stroked one hoof over one of Blueblood's ears. “I think I understand a little more about you now. And that was just what I wanted."
“But you will still call me 'Prince', I suspect,” Blueblood noted.
“I don't recall you taking me out to a fancy restaurant or to a performance of one of the classic plays. I may understand a bit more about you, right here at your door. But I don't know you when you are out in the upper terrace, having to deal with those eyes. The cruel and judgmental eyes...” Connie said, ending in a thousand-yard stare.
Blueblood leaned in and kissed his way down one long ear, from the tip to well inside the cup. “I will not diminish your fear or your pain. I know you suffered. And you were right to make me pay for continuing it all. But... I see those eyes too. And the tongues as well. Buffoon. Dolt. Idiot. Waste of space. Useless vestigial limb. I have heard them all. Seen folk look at me with open contempt, then smile their poison smiles and scrape the ground on their bellies looking for a chance to be in my company. If we will be derided, let it be together. Perhaps as one we may be envied for our poise and happiness.”
Connie tried to pull away from the rubbing and kissing. It felt too good. She never allowed herself to feel that good with anyone. But she didn't really try all that hard, not when the soothing words and admissions flowed like honey over her. “One night. Dinner, and a fine show in one of the royal boxes that are visible from many angles. No slippery prevaricating about my identity or quick denials we are there together. Wear what you will but I will have on my maid's attire, so there are no mistakes. Bear it that one night, before the face of Equestria, and I will cease calling you 'Prince.'”
“You put me in an awkward position, you know,” Blueblood said.
“Do I now, prince? Tell me what position is most awkward for you. Is it that I am a jenny smart enough to match your mind, that I have a will in me, that I am a lowly scullery maid or are you finally to admit my species really does matter?” Connie questioned, a dash of venom in her voice.
A pleased smile passed over Blueblood's features as each thing was laid out, and he let out a soft nicker. “You do not need to convince me. I said I would go on a date with you. No, my position is... if you think I am a bad kisser, you may well imagine I am a far worse date. What do I know of courtship? I thought you would like me if I tied ribbons to your ears and threw laurel wreaths over them.”
A blush broke out across Connie's face. She was still thinking in terms of rumor and supposition. She had to trust him. He already trusted her. And with both Lime and Luna knowing what was going on... “Did her majesty tell you to be kinder to me?”
“She advised me to follow my heart, in essence. I was to find a less... foalish solution to admitting my feelings. I considered the standards, Grand Veldt flowers, Griffin chocolates, pastries of the upper terrace, even non-comestibles like United Colony gemstones. I dismissed them because you were still upset. It was only luck you came to let me offer you truth. Though I surmise you might still enjoy the other things,” Blueblood said.
“They might not come amiss.” Connie gave a high laugh and cleared her throat. “So... you are a bad date? Perfect! You can join the parade of other bad dates that I've had. The only difference will be your short ears and the horn on your head. You're actually serious about it, though. This is not a dare nor a prank so you're already withers and flanks above the rest. Despite your bad kissing and bad dating I think this could go very well. This could also be an unmitigated disaster of the highest order. But I've never been to a fancy restaurant, I've always wanted to see a nice play and you already say you owe me. I can take it for one night.”
“I do not think I ever would have predicted this outcome. My previous estimation of a good ending was being slapped across the face and suffering with a broken jaw for a time. A little time would heal the wounds, both emotional and physical, and we could then reach this point. Your restraint is most magnanimous,” Blueblood said with a smile.
“I wanted you to suffer. Then I wanted you to pay. Now watching you be sincere will suffice. There's no going back after this,” Connie said seriously.
“You will find my sincerity pleasant, if a bit awkward. I have not had to be sincere for quite some time. How shall I send word about the time and date of our date? Perhaps a small guard detachment to deliver the formal letter. A page might do, for a short trip. There is something to be said for the pomp, however...” Blueblood considered.
“How about you come down to the kitchen, find me at work, and then tell me the day and time? And give me some time to do the usual things like have my uniform cleaned and my mane done. I may not like it but I understand there is a certain level of elegance required,” Connie suggested.
“Yes. I suppose that would be the simplest solution. I am finding this donkey practicality has many answers to difficult questions,” Blueblood said happily.
“It may not solve everything but it helps. Now... Prince Blueblood... I think I should take my leave. Fireclay and my cheesecake are both waiting on me. I'll be waiting. Don't keep me there very long,” Connie warned.
“But to be a jenny in waiting must surely be an enviable position.” Blueblood laughed at his own joke, then cleared his throat when he got only a playful glare from Connie. “It shall not be too arduous a wait. Until then...” He grandly swept up a shod hoof and kissed the exposed portion, then placed a kiss on the tip of each ear. “Try to keep my face in mind.” He popped his eyebrows and gave a sultry wink.
Connie dissolved into laughter that nearly sent her to the floor. After recovering most of her composure she leaned in to plant one on Blueblood's lips. “Mm, terrible. Terrible.” With that she trotted off down into the depths of the palace.
Blueblood was about to head into his room when he noticed Lime Sherbert standing down another corridor. Though she looked hard and unfriendly she suddenly broke into a bright smile and gave a nod. “Her majesty will wish to see you in her chambers later. I will inform her of your coming and the reason you have come. Doubtless, she will give you passes to her personal box and a long, long discourse on the theatrical productions you ought to see. Take it in stride, she means well and is very excited by all things theatrical.” She turned to trot away but thought better of it, turned her head and noted, “Don't worry, Dark Skies didn't kiss very well either. If she takes pity on you you'll get in enough practice to make it worth her while.”
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Hoory, the wooing is successful. Now lets see if Blueblood screws it up.
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Normally I would say that he can always find some way to do that. But really, I think he might be getting the hang of it.
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My stories are specifically designed to make folks happy, by and large. I believe in happiness.
2152110
Quite true.
Adorable to the tenth degree
Blueblood pointing out he'd be a crap date, comedy gold.
It's nice to see Prince Blueblood in a positive view point, I never saw the reason why so many writers turned the one shot character into either a complete douche bag or blood thirsty villain that eats babies and burns down orphanages. When you look at the character as presented in canon: he went out with a gold digger and treated her like crap because Rarity assumed that because she was "there" that Blueblood would whisk off into a fairy tale "Disney" marriage.
He spit out Applejack's snack food, because maybe he hates apples and prefers pears.
The OC's in the this fic are also very well written.
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THANK YOU for saying that.
I feel the same way. It's the reason I wrote this in the first place. You're right about the Gold Digger part too. And I explain the snack food bit as him just having zero tact and only liking the things which he already likes, not wanting to try new things.
Lime is still rather schizophrenic I see. One minute she seems to completely believe the rumours and lies and merrily jumps to whatever assumptions she wishes and then suddenly she decides things are okay? After the one she was so biased against says so.
Very interesting. Very interesting indeed. I will read more later.
follow?
Enjoying this story quite a bit.
I can say without a doubt in my mind, I have never read something like this.
Good job.
Ahh my own time i have noticed that the rue of lovelyness their speech and talk of passion and need sounds of those from Shakespeare or of novel's with romance and lovers embrace with lust and desire for the tine of twilight