HRH Princess Luna of Equestria
The Royal Palace
Canterlot
Your Majesty:
Your suggestion that I seek some form of employment was rather unanticipated on my part. I did not have much time to formulate an opinion on it before Pinkie Pie seized upon it as a “super-duper awesome” idea to give me a chance to “blend in” with mainstream Equestrian society. I would argue that the chance of a dark blue pegasus blending in amongst the generally brighter-hued ponies of Ponyville is slim at best, were it not so blindingly obvious that this line of reasoning would be subsequently ignored.
Naturally, her first inclination was to ask the Cakes to provide me with a job. On the whole, this was quite sensible. Not only did the location of Sugarcube Corner promise an exceptionally short commute, but Pinkie Pie’s longstanding position there indicated a high tolerance for ponies with “unique” personalities. As predicted, they were more than willing to create a temporary position for me, with the possibility of permanent employment pending my success.
It therefore grieves me to inform you that my career as an assistant pastry chef was rather short-lived. This was not due to any particular difficulty I found in making baked goods—although the process was somewhat tedious, Mrs. Cake’s recipes were quite clear about the steps needed to adequately bake the shop’s wares. Rather, there was a slight problem with customer relations: during my stint at the register, a particularly insensitive patron had the gall to complain about the lack of variety in the scones available for purchase. As I had spent much of that morning making the goods in question, I proceeded to explain that no variety had been offered, as scones are not meant to include such ingredients as cranberries and orange peel and should therefore be enjoyed without any needless embellishment. For this, I was severely reprimanded, as it is apparently not considered a sound business practice to leave one’s customers cowering underneath a table in a pool of their own tears.
Needless to say, I tendered my resignation at the end of the day. This was accepted, though I do find myself wishing that the Cakes had at least made a pretense of wanting to give me a second chance. Still, Pinkie Pie feels quite optimistic that a pony of my talents and skills should be able to find employment relatively soon. I eagerly await your analysis of these developments.
Yours sincerely,
Penumbra Noctis
Very nice. This letter format offers for some hilarious opportunities and you don't fail to make use of that and I like how Penumbra feels. She definitely seems like the character that you've developed given your cannon of her.
Though I've often wished it was
Exceptionally short commute! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
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Penumbra is now the Patron Saint of fast food workers everywhere.
I wish Luna`s letters were included
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Penumbra needs to work IT... She'd fit right in.
Knowing that Penumbra is meant to be some sort of Nightmare remnant; I read most of this sentence... and was glad she said tears at the end. I was thinking something else.
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Were you thinking of something red, or something yellow and/or brown?
It seems that both Pinkie Pie and Luna have neglected to consider some things. If Pinkie is well-rounded thanks to Twilight, then it is quite likely that Penumbra is moody, blunt and to the point, and as much of a no nonsense sort of pony as Luna is without millenia of history to round off the rough edges or the position/title of Princess to excuse her behavior. In other words, Luna probably ought to be trying to help her out a bit more, considering.
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Luna... help someone adjust.... You did see the Nightmare Night episode, right?
I can't help but picture Penumbra as an emo teenager with as much of a personality as Maud Pie while reading these letters... and then she talks about customers cowering under the tables lol.
Wow... you would think that's an obvious conclusion before you happen to rip into someone, yet it never crossed my mind or stopped me in the past.
...
I was a "Dan vs." scale jerk back then in all honesty
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I wouldn't think that was obvious though ... I mean it works so well for Chef Ramsey. Although I think he has a Special Talent for that because he can only gain nourishment from the tears of the unworthy.
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If you've ever worked retail you'd understand.