Hmmmm.... Don't know if I will like....

I'm a little scared to read...

Seems dark yet interesting.

I think I like it. It's messed up in a good way so far. a couple grammatical errors here and there, but I'm hardly one to judge on that. I hope you continue this, I'd be interested in reading more.

HOLY SHIT! A very dark and harsh Spilight? Damn....count me IN! I want to know how this started, what the goddesses are doing about it and where the buck is Gilda or if she's with the Griffions.....damn. This is seriously well made, I'm down, where do I sign up? Also, can Spike smoke in this if you please?

1721068

The grammar is about to be fixed. My beta is on it currently. I hadn't expected the story to be up tonight, since it took two days for my last one to be moderated, I figured I had time to send it to him and get the correction up before the story became public.

Anyway, thanks for commenting, I hope I don't disappoint.

First--it is advisable to post *after* you fix grammatical and spelling mistakes that draw people out of the story.

Second--Umm.... nope. The poor quality of the synopsis verse is similar to the poor quality of your prose.

awesome cover art, mediocre story

1721096

The verse is actually taken from what the cover art says.

Judging by the cover image for this story ,
Twilight became Spike's sex slave.

I actually like this story. Please continue it.

Even though everything about this story scared me I mannaged to read it.

I liked it.

I'm sorry but this is too emo even for me. In order for a soup to taste much more flavorful and delicious, and yet and the same time not be so salty or strong that it becomes bitter for the tongue, one must balance climax feelings and its normal streaming text. Mushing it all together into one big butter ball causes the soup to be spoiled and lost in its many conflicting spice and sweets, causing it to be inedible.

In other words: Too overdramatic

I can see dislikers disliking this because of the mentioned rape. Silly people, read it first.

Also, might wanna add a bit about the actual story to the synopsis, the backdrop of the tale or the reasons for this "war". The verse is funky for a cover but still.

1721087 I'd also suggest doing something to make the parts that are in first person be put in italics, to make them pop a bit more, to show they are separate. Thats my two cents anyways.

Definitely following!
Sound promising, a nice and sweet dark and bloody story :D
Continue pls, and dont let the downvotes discourage you!

1721159 Maybe it is supposed to be overdramatic :)

This has rightly scared and engrossed me. I can guess who is leading the enemy, that's obvious. Where this will go and how this develops is truly... pleasant.

I..I don't really know what this is and I don't think I want to know. I mean, I can tell it's about Spike making Twilight his sex slave with the picture and description alone, but...I'll let Spiderman sum up my reaction:
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/252/959/5fa.jpg

i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/10/CSVrjgRLUkuxpLB7MfL0HA2.jpg

I REALLY don't want to read this, but my curiosity once again has gotten the better of me
I'll finish this comment when I'm done reading:
Well. I'm gonna go ahead and assume Spike is the one leading the attack on Ponyville. And Twilight will become his sex slave in the next chapter. I'll give you a thumbs up on this only because it is well written..however I don't like stories such as this one but like I said, my curiosity got the better of me and now I'll have to read the other chapters as they come out

Thumbs down .. Ill watch it but you never need to kill off RD

Scared of the violence. Don't make it too bad and i'll like and thumbs? Deal?

THUD SLAANESHI IS INTERESTED. I shall read!

1722277 I didnt say that ever body didnt like it ..

1722342 Now which one of your storys kills off RD ?

No , I'm actually trying to find a good sad fic .. Also I dont hate storys that kill off RD , I greaty dislike them ..

This made me expressionless for nearly an hour.

See's picture
*shivers*

Not sure if I like or not.

Might wait until the next chapter.

Nope.

The cover art is disturbing. I don't like it.

One Word...Continue

1721403

Making something overdramatic is NEVER a good thing. That's like saying "Maybe this is really a troll and its suppose to be a bad fic. That means the fiction is a better read now."

1721151
But this is no place for innocent fillies!
*carries you away from here*
I'll save you!

I'm currently reserving my judgment on this... it's obviously that this one is going to be very dark, judging from the cover image and the quotes in the story and overly dark stories tend to make me sick, in a good way if that makes any sense

I'm sort of eagerly awaiting the next chapter

I'm very uncomfortably sure that this will involve Mind Break... Ad I'm so excited about it.
Specially since it looks that Spike will be the master and Twilight the slave. Though I hope you will explain us some more about all this war you're using as backwround for the story.
I have no idea why you have so many dislikes. I mean the's a billilion of shitty "Dark" clopfics with Chrysalis or Discord, doing nothing but raping and/or killing all of the main characters and i don't see anyone complaining about it.

You know what, fuck it, I'm gonna give it a try.

Edit- what's the green text? I can't figure it out. So far its an okay story. But i still have no fucking clue what just happened.

1724031
Because those stories give people what they want.
Amusement an sex.
Therefore they get a good review.

why not, i haven't read a good dark story for awhile

1723379 Maybe it is supposed to show us how Twi evoled in time, making something overdramatic hasn't to mean it is bad, it is a way to show the feelings in certain situations of someone and how the character sees things and stuff like that. It's a way to express sth.

1724426
I know. Wich is very sad, since it shows just how easily impressionable (and sick) many bronies are.

This looks like a satanic version of a clopfic

cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJCMjAxMi8wNy8wMy8wNV8wMF8xMF82NDNfMjk1MjlfX3NhZmVfdHdpbGlnaHRfc3BhcmtsZV9hbmltYXRlZAY6BkVU/29529__safe_twilight-sparkle_animated_cute_no.gif
Maybe if I tell it no hard enough it will go away.

I want to give a review, but it's only the first chapter. So I'll have to wait.

That pic was of putting

so this story to me has been like a weird looking store that you drive pass every day on your way to work but you're scared of what sick horrors await you......but this was surprisingly interesting.
you get hmmmm 6,7 mustaches