This fic is like... I dunno. I like it, a lot, but... infidelity, even technically rape infidelity, just doesn't sit right with me. I hope Shining Armor admitting what happened to Cadance is coming soon.
And yeah, I know what you mean. This turned out WAY darker than I wanted, but I don't wanna do this half-assedly either. And... there's so much material here. Just think about it... we've seen Shiny and Cady in only two episodes (well, two-parters but still), and I'm just getting started with the whole storyline.
And another amazing one at that. I'd guess that part of the problem would be Shining's sudden change in lifestyle to being a Prince and being surrounded by etiquette that he'd never experienced before, but the Queen part definitely hit me as a surprise. And yet it makes perfect sense.
Whoa. That is some heavy stuff and very, very well done. I have a policy of not liking nor favouriting a story until it's complete, but I have made a few rare exceptions, and this is one. Thumbed up and faved hard.
Shining Armor's confusion and pain are palpable. Actually addressing the issue of female-on-male rape? You don't see that every day. Yep, I feel this story, totally. I'm hoping that there will be a happy ending, but with this setup it's possible to pull off anything from happy through sad to utterly disastrous and make it work well.
I dont normally share this but I was a rape victim and you have portrayed the aftermath of the realizations that come from that very accurately and honestly and I commend you for it. This is not an easy subject to speak about on any level for anyone but the fears and self loathing that comes from that kind of trauma are even worse to live through. Thank you and please keep writing I want to see that moment where he fixes himself and comes through this fire as strong as a newly forged sword.
Considering that he's having issues with the Queen... I feel like it would be best if he faced that fear... Cadance and Chrysalis in the same room and his confession would really be a big impact and the fastest way to both heal and kill him.
This is wicked heavy stuff, right here. Chrsy messed Shining up real bad. Everything makes perfect sense from a psychological standpoint.. The question now becomes, how does Shining live with it and get his life back. There is no cure, there is only living with it.
You are treating this subject matter fairly well so far and I hope you do so going into the future. Plot with plot done well as well, to redundantly use redundancy.
Good lord, this chapter was a never-ending succession of kidney punches.
The good kind of kidney punches, I mean.
Having Shining finally admit what really happened to him was hard enough to do--and painful to read, even though I knew it was coming and that it had to happen--but the real sucker-punches were the realizations afterwards.
Suspecting that his wife and sister probably deduced the truth before he could admit it, even to himself is powerful, and heart-rending. And his admission that he actually found Chrysalis better in bed than his wife--that's dark. Even most people confronting the themes you've thrown yourself up against would be wary of approaching that.
But I commend you for it. It's a recognition of that terrible truth, that there is a dividing line between lust and love. And Shining's self-loathing--from being raped, from actually liking it, from being unable to make love to his wife, and from the pressure of his new and unfamiliar duties--is played perfectly and makes complete sense with his characterization and the events that have befallen him.
I know I always sing this fic's praises, but this chapter was the best yet and now I find myself eagerly anticipating the next entry.
I know that Shining will end up telling everything to Cadence before this fic is done, and when that happens...well, this chapter almost (not quite, but almost) succeeded in making me cry. When that stage in the story comes...I probably will.
This is really spectacularly written. The panic attack especially. Also an interesting way to approach male rape, as many people don't find it a legitimate problem. Kudos.
Talk about a grey area. Though the reality is that Chrysalis is probably physically built to be one hell of a great fuck and has had a bit of experience to boot. Cadence is sweet and an amazing mare on her own merits but she probably hasn't slept with many stallions even if she's an immortal Alicorn that's been around a while. She just can't compete with a trained sex machine bent on making someone love her.
I usually try to give responses to everyone who comments, but I kinda had to go take a nap because of a twisted ankle acting up, so... Here we go. I do love getting praise on the events of the story, don't get me wrong, but what I REALLY love is criticism and thoughts that the story might evoke, good or bad. We're going into "heavy shit" territory with this one, so I want to hear what you have to say.
1977243 I really appreciate you telling me this. I was actually going to gloss the rape-issue over a bit because I was worried it would make the story too dark in contrast to the beginning. You might want to thank ChuckFinley about it, because he made a lot of research for me and shoved them down my throat saying "It doesn't work like that, noob." This chapter was the hardest I've ever written in any fic, and I almost gave up and tableflipped several times... That therapy session was written 4 times, starting almost from scratch every time.
But it was worth it.
1977135 Heh, thanks for the vote of confidence. No pressure, eh?
1979260 I've had a few. One I got when I was... in therapy. And that's all I got to say about that. Different times, different reasons.
1977397 I'm portraying him as a good guy, but with several weaknesses, and when shit hits the fan on an emotional level, he resorts to Buffy-speak.
Also, This fic had 11 downvotes before this chapter, now it only has 10. Do you know how much that means to me? That someone actually changed their mind? Such a small thing as a number turning down feels so good.
It was an awesome chapter in every way I can think of. I never thought of Chrysalis raping Shining, but she did, and in a way much more sinister than what can be done in our universe, where she took the place of the actual person he loves. You even played off how victims of rape are often aroused while raped. Emotional trauma from rape is bad enough, yet victims also have to live with the fact that being raped turned them on, sometimes causing them to climax. Drawing attention to that nasty part of rape was perfect in the context of this story, and I can't wait to see how he deals with his issues, and how Cadance reacts to his traumatic experience.
I also love how you introduced Luna. I always imagined that she'd have plenty of experience with weird as hell dreams, many of them being sexual fantasies. How she reacted to Shining's sexual fantasy was excellent, and how she helped him out of his nightmare was perfect.
1979838 Those silly stories, got a bad habit of getting away from you. You start off with a humorous story where the protagonist accidentally spooges on his doctors face, and the next thing you know, RAPE.
My probably unappreciated sarcasm aside (), this IS a very good story, and, while the subject matter is ambitious, you are so far handling it pretty believably.
1979845 Yeah. It's funny how that always seems to happen. INB4 a mega-downer ending that leaves everything unresolved leading into several pages of crying and moaning.
Wow. This story is really moving into the epic range.
And I'm probably going to be flamed horribly by anyone else reading this, but I had a flash of suspicion reading the ending scenes. Is it a minor possibility that the sessions of Shining and Sassy could possibly be an analogy for a brony going through a counciling session concerning enjoying clop?
Bad thought. Sorry. Anyway, very realistic dialogue. VERY well done.
1979943 A brony going through therapy? Definitely. I have... inside information. But I'm using it as a backdrop, not as the plot itself. It's a good tool to use when going into shining's head because I didn't want to do it just in monologue. Now we have a person urging him on to go deeper into his head, not giving him time to lie to himself. Cruel, but ultimately, necessary.
And going to therapy about liking children' s technicolor ponies erotically? Why the hell would you do that? I mean seriously, what you do in your home or inside your head doesn't hurt anyone, and can be quite fun.
I'm really hoping things get better for Shining Armor soon. He really needs to tell Princess Cadence about this so she can lend a hoof and help her husband out.
I really like how you treat Shining and the issues he has from the aftermath of the wedding and the feelings of infidelity with his wife. You took the topic of sex (usually reserved for clop or comedic situations) and turned it into a good topic for Shining to deal with the feeling of betraying his wife with the Changling Queen.
I seriously LOLed, reading this. I used to be in therapy for a few issues, and I must say, you have the scene played perfectly. sooooo... The big question...
God, I love this! Psychological insights into a usually ignored topic like Female-rapes-male. A therapy that is written extremely realistically. Speculation about the deeper workings of the princesses. Shining Armour being delightfully messed up, yet sympathetically.
And I love his realization... A man as strong as him coming to terms with being victimized is so rarely used in fiction and even less often used well. Keep up the great job!
It's so big!
That's because it's full of dreams.
Ho, shit. Shining has some serious issues. Totally understandable ones yeah, but so many of them.
Glad I'm not in his shoes right now.
1976764 Shining "Insane-in-the-membrane" Armor. And there's gonna be more.
This fic is like... I dunno. I like it, a lot, but... infidelity, even technically rape infidelity, just doesn't sit right with me. I hope Shining Armor admitting what happened to Cadance is coming soon.
Woah... Didn't expect this.
1976814 Were you not prepared for this?
And yeah, I know what you mean. This turned out WAY darker than I wanted, but I don't wanna do this half-assedly either. And... there's so much material here. Just think about it... we've seen Shiny and Cady in only two episodes (well, two-parters but still), and I'm just getting started with the whole storyline.
HUZZAH A NEW CHAPTER!
And another amazing one at that. I'd guess that part of the problem would be Shining's sudden change in lifestyle to being a Prince and being surrounded by etiquette that he'd never experienced before, but the Queen part definitely hit me as a surprise. And yet it makes perfect sense.
Keep up the amazing work!
....Thats what she said.
Forgive me.
1976863 ... *points at door*
1976852 Don't get me wrong. It was great.
Woah. THat was...woah. Awkward...
...well shit, this got really really serious.....
It does make for a very enjoyable story though.
1976674 and pony boners
i'm so so sorry, but i had to
Whoa. That is some heavy stuff and very, very well done. I have a policy of not liking nor favouriting a story until it's complete, but I have made a few rare exceptions, and this is one. Thumbed up and faved hard.
Shining Armor's confusion and pain are palpable. Actually addressing the issue of female-on-male rape? You don't see that every day. Yep, I feel this story, totally. I'm hoping that there will be a happy ending, but with this setup it's possible to pull off anything from happy through sad to utterly disastrous and make it work well.
Absolutely fantastic story so far.
I dont normally share this but I was a rape victim and you have portrayed the aftermath of the realizations that come from that very accurately and honestly and I commend you for it. This is not an easy subject to speak about on any level for anyone but the fears and self loathing that comes from that kind of trauma are even worse to live through. Thank you and please keep writing I want to see that moment where he fixes himself and comes through this fire as strong as a newly forged sword.
Considering that he's having issues with the Queen... I feel like it would be best if he faced that fear...
Cadance and Chrysalis in the same room and his confession would really be a big impact and the fastest way to both heal and kill him.
One thing
Why does Armor sound like he's 5?
Also good chapter and great description on the panic attack.
This is wicked heavy stuff, right here. Chrsy messed Shining up real bad. Everything makes perfect sense from a psychological standpoint.. The question now becomes, how does Shining live with it and get his life back. There is no cure, there is only living with it.
That went into some pretty deep places (heh) pretty quick there. I'm impressed with the depth behind Shining's issues.
10/10, would read again - if I ever read things twice.
Wow, this was an excellent chapter.
wow... this one was really intense!
can't wait for the next one!
Commence read.
Shining finally gets that off his chest. Progress made.
Oh fuck Isseus, I love you forever!
orijinculture.com/community/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/raped1.jpg
oh this is getting good
You are treating this subject matter fairly well so far and I hope you do so going into the future. Plot with plot done well as well, to redundantly use redundancy.
Maturity out of the way, though, we deal with it in the internet manner, by chortling at the creepy!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/06/Auto-Tune_the_News_12c_screenshot.jpg/220px-Auto-Tune_the_News_12c_screenshot.jpg
Good lord, this chapter was a never-ending succession of kidney punches.
The good kind of kidney punches, I mean.
Having Shining finally admit what really happened to him was hard enough to do--and painful to read, even though I knew it was coming and that it had to happen--but the real sucker-punches were the realizations afterwards.
Suspecting that his wife and sister probably deduced the truth before he could admit it, even to himself is powerful, and heart-rending. And his admission that he actually found Chrysalis better in bed than his wife--that's dark. Even most people confronting the themes you've thrown yourself up against would be wary of approaching that.
But I commend you for it. It's a recognition of that terrible truth, that there is a dividing line between lust and love. And Shining's self-loathing--from being raped, from actually liking it, from being unable to make love to his wife, and from the pressure of his new and unfamiliar duties--is played perfectly and makes complete sense with his characterization and the events that have befallen him.
I know I always sing this fic's praises, but this chapter was the best yet and now I find myself eagerly anticipating the next entry.
I know that Shining will end up telling everything to Cadence before this fic is done, and when that happens...well, this chapter almost (not quite, but almost) succeeded in making me cry. When that stage in the story comes...I probably will.
This is really spectacularly written. The panic attack especially. Also an interesting way to approach male rape, as many people don't find it a legitimate problem. Kudos.
Talk about a grey area. Though the reality is that Chrysalis is probably physically built to be one hell of a great fuck and has had a bit of experience to boot. Cadence is sweet and an amazing mare on her own merits but she probably hasn't slept with many stallions even if she's an immortal Alicorn that's been around a while. She just can't compete with a trained sex machine bent on making someone love her.
I usually try to give responses to everyone who comments, but I kinda had to go take a nap because of a twisted ankle acting up, so... Here we go. I do love getting praise on the events of the story, don't get me wrong, but what I REALLY love is criticism and thoughts that the story might evoke, good or bad. We're going into "heavy shit" territory with this one, so I want to hear what you have to say.
1977243 I really appreciate you telling me this. I was actually going to gloss the rape-issue over a bit because I was worried it would make the story too dark in contrast to the beginning. You might want to thank ChuckFinley about it, because he made a lot of research for me and shoved them down my throat saying "It doesn't work like that, noob." This chapter was the hardest I've ever written in any fic, and I almost gave up and tableflipped several times... That therapy session was written 4 times, starting almost from scratch every time.
But it was worth it.
1977135 Heh, thanks for the vote of confidence. No pressure, eh?
1979260 I've had a few. One I got when I was... in therapy. And that's all I got to say about that. Different times, different reasons.
1977397 I'm portraying him as a good guy, but with several weaknesses, and when shit hits the fan on an emotional level, he resorts to Buffy-speak.
1977095 Poners?
1977342 It's a nice thought, but I don't really think it would be feasible.
1979169
Yeah. I answered you with ICP.
Also, This fic had 11 downvotes before this chapter, now it only has 10. Do you know how much that means to me? That someone actually changed their mind? Such a small thing as a number turning down feels so good.
1979525
It was an awesome chapter in every way I can think of. I never thought of Chrysalis raping Shining, but she did, and in a way much more sinister than what can be done in our universe, where she took the place of the actual person he loves. You even played off how victims of rape are often aroused while raped. Emotional trauma from rape is bad enough, yet victims also have to live with the fact that being raped turned them on, sometimes causing them to climax. Drawing attention to that nasty part of rape was perfect in the context of this story, and I can't wait to see how he deals with his issues, and how Cadance reacts to his traumatic experience.
I also love how you introduced Luna. I always imagined that she'd have plenty of experience with weird as hell dreams, many of them being sexual fantasies. How she reacted to Shining's sexual fantasy was excellent, and how she helped him out of his nightmare was perfect.
Rape. There is a subject that requires some rather deft handling on the part of a storyteller. Good job so far.
Wasn't this supposed to be a comedy?
1979821 Well... ehh... About that...
1979838
Those silly stories, got a bad habit of getting away from you. You start off with a humorous story where the protagonist accidentally spooges on his doctors face, and the next thing you know, RAPE.
My probably unappreciated sarcasm aside (), this IS a very good story, and, while the subject matter is ambitious, you are so far handling it pretty believably.
1979845 Yeah. It's funny how that always seems to happen. INB4 a mega-downer ending that leaves everything unresolved leading into several pages of crying and moaning.
Wow. This story is really moving into the epic range.
And I'm probably going to be flamed horribly by anyone else reading this, but I had a flash of suspicion reading the ending scenes. Is it a minor possibility that the sessions of Shining and Sassy could possibly be an analogy for a brony going through a counciling session concerning enjoying clop?
Bad thought. Sorry. Anyway, very realistic dialogue. VERY well done.
1979943 A brony going through therapy? Definitely. I have... inside information. But I'm using it as a backdrop, not as the plot itself. It's a good tool to use when going into shining's head because I didn't want to do it just in monologue. Now we have a person urging him on to go deeper into his head, not giving him time to lie to himself. Cruel, but ultimately, necessary.
And going to therapy about liking children' s technicolor ponies erotically? Why the hell would you do that? I mean seriously, what you do in your home or inside your head doesn't hurt anyone, and can be quite fun.
I'm really hoping things get better for Shining Armor soon. He really needs to tell Princess Cadence about this so she can lend a hoof and help her husband out.
Oh, I see. I like where this is going.
gifs.gifbin.com/reverse-1233928590_citizen%20kane%20clapping.gif bravo shinning bravo
This is awesome, and makes perfect sense. Please continue!
1981573 Nah. I'ma stop writing this story and move on to a study of Russian poetry in the 19th century. Expect this story to go on indefinite hiatus.
1981826
Ah. Well, you've clearly got your priorities in order, then.
1981858 Eeyup. You're NEVER gonna learn what I had planned. HAAAHHAHHAHHAHAAHAAAA!
2.bp.blogspot.com/-6oXgh-ee-1Q/T_2VIlMAHQI/AAAAAAAAAFU/Do3lgOnlsy4/s1600/Kill_Me_Now.jpg because I dont want to die of pure epicness with the upcoming chapters
I really like how you treat Shining and the issues he has from the aftermath of the wedding and the feelings of infidelity with his wife.
You took the topic of sex (usually reserved for clop or comedic situations) and turned it into a good topic for Shining to deal with the
feeling of betraying his wife with the Changling Queen.
I hope this has a happy ending!
Bravo!!
I seriously LOLed, reading this. I used to be in therapy for a few issues, and I must say, you have the scene played perfectly. sooooo... The big question...
When does Candice get the love she deserves?
I am waiting :-)
THIS. IS. SO. GOOOD!
Please don't make us wait too long.
The 'On Hiatus' status frightens me.
God, I love this!
Psychological insights into a usually ignored topic like Female-rapes-male. A therapy that is written extremely realistically. Speculation about the deeper workings of the princesses. Shining Armour being delightfully messed up, yet sympathetically.
And I love his realization... A man as strong as him coming to terms with being victimized is so rarely used in fiction and even less often used well. Keep up the great job!
1981877
Of all the things that could happen, this is the worst... possible! THING!!!!
What? I really mean it this time...