She comes again in the night. This time there is no pretence or disguise, just the sheening black chitin of her shell and the poison-green eyes glowing in the dimness of the bedroom. Shining Armor feels fear grip his chest, but there is something else too, a strange burning in his stomach, an unfamiliar pounding in his chest. She walks towards him, her body swaying alluringly with every step.
"My Prince," she says, and bows her head like one would do to royalty.
"My... Queen?" he answers almost involuntarily. "What have you done to me? Am I under your spell once more?" Even though the fear is there, it is distant, like a remnant of a dream in the morning.
"The spells I have woven are gone. You have called me here of your own will, and I have come." Her fanged mouth turns into a wicked grin, but it is not frightening to the stallion still lying on his back on the bed. He tosses a casual look to his surroundings, but there is nopony else in the room but him and the Queen.
"The question remains, my Prince." She moves to the side of the bed and lowers herself down on the floor, placing her hoof next to the stallion's leg, but not yet touching. "Why did you call me? Why have you summoned me from my swarm?"
"I... didn't..." he stammers, his gaze lost in the glow of the Queen's green eyes. Her ragged wings flicker gently, not making a sound and the pale moonlight setting them aglow. He can even smell her, the alien smell of her shell and the scent of corrupt magic floating down from her crooked horn.
"Do not play with me, young Prince. You crave my company and there is no use in denying it." She touches Shining Armor's leg, the numerous holes on her foot scraping against his soft, white fur. Cold shivers run along his sides and back, but he doesn't shy away. The black hoof stops just before it reaches his rump, instead massaging his cutie mark on his flank. Her head is now lower, approaching the gap between his legs. He hesitates at first, not daring to allow her to come closer, but his body makes the decision for him. The burning in his stomach creeps even lower, and his length begins to throb in rhythm with his rapid heartbeat. He is scared, but not of the sensual creature inches away from his stallionhood. There is something else, but he can't quite put his hoof on what it might be. The last of his reservations are dispersed like morning fog in sunlight when her raspy tongue touches his member. The jolt of pleasure shooting through him is enough to make him extend fully out from his sheath.
She only gives him a few more licks, then backing away. "How would my Prince want me? I am here at your call, so do with me as you please." Her mouth is still in that wicked grin of hers, like she was laughing at a joke that only she knew, but would never tell anypony else.
"I... I want you," Shining Armor says, not completely sure if they are his own words. But the truth in them rings loud in his ears, and he sits up on the bed. The pale white glow of his horn lights the room as the Queen is gently lifted from the floor and placed rump-up on the bed. She yelps in surprise, her wings making a nervous buzz, but she submits to his handling. For the first time the Prince sees what a changeling looks like between her legs, and is almost disappointed to find it resembling a pony's private parts. The smell of arousal is the same as well, her slit already dripping wet with a liquid glowing dimly of green in the darkness. It slides down her legs and its phosphorous luminescence allows him to admire every curve of her backside. He leans in, touching her marehood with his tongue.
His eyes shoot open from surprise, as the taste assaults his tongue. He was expecting the same salty aroma of a typical mare (some other mare? was there somepony else...) but she tastes of sweet honey. Shining Armor dives in more greedily, allowing his tongue to work the changeling's backside, spreading her honey-juices all over her black shell, highlighting her sleek curves with its magical green glow. His hooves stroke the Queen's buttocks, so hard in contrast to her tender flesh mere inches away. She makes a small hissing sound, somewhere between a moan and an insect’s buzz. It draws him in like a drone under his Queen's command, but he knows it is an invitation, not a command. He pushes the black changeling onto her stomach and bites her tail. The tiny pain that shoots through her makes her whinny slightly, but there is once more the alien buzz accompanying her voice. Shining Armor doesn't let go, instead pulling her rump higher, making the Queen bend low in front of him. His member perks up, ready for action like a good little soldier colt should. The green glow guides him in like a Cloudsdale landing light against the dark city below, and he inserts himself. The Queen's wings spread open from the feeling, buzzing rapidly, almost lifting her up from the bed.
"Not today," the Prince commands, and pushes her gaunt body down, forcing her head deep into the mattress below. She whimpers, but doesn't fight back. The tightness of the changeling under him surprises him again, his member feeling all too large to fit in comfortably, but slowly the path opens up for him. Every inch squeezes him harder, causing him intense pain, but even more intense pleasure. Her canal is sticky from the honey-dew, but it turns more slippery as he starts moving back and forth inside her. He remembers the feeling from their previous times mating together. The times before they were separated by... something; he can't remember what. He has craved for her tightness, the buzz of her wings, the slick feel of her shell under his hooves and the quiet cries she lets out every time he goes in deeper. Every thrust brings him more pleasure, and the Queen under him moves into his every motion, not just passively submitting any more, but enjoying the stallion in full.
Shining Armor feels himself ready to burst, but he cannot come yet. He retreats, pulling his member completely out from the changeling. She makes pleading voices and offers her backside to him, lifting up and moving it from side to side, but he doesn't care. With a strong shove of his forehoof, he turns her on her back and climbs to stand on top of her. She takes the cue and begins to massage his member with her hooves. Her submissive voice is gone again, and her trademark grin has returned to her face. Her green eyes are half-closed, giving her a feral, hungry expression. She turns her forehooves, pushing Shining Armor's tool through the largest holes in both of her appendages, and continues her rhythmic motion. She pulls her hooves wider, squeezing his member tighter as the sharp edges of the holes press into the Prince's flesh. He grunts, the pain shooting through him, but when he is about to cry out, the Queen once more loosens her grip, only to repeat the movement again, and again, and again, every time causing more pain to the Prince, but always releasing just before he would pull out. The pain drives him crazy, and he starts to push against the holes in her hooves. She moves them together, aligning them to her mouth. With every thrust, the Prince feels her tongue touch the tenderest part of his tool, and that finally drives him over the edge. He comes, shooting wave after wave of his royal semen into her awaiting mouth, and splattering all over her face. She closes her eyes, allowing him to empty his reserves completely before she collapses on her back, finally releasing the prisoner of war from the jagged prison of her perforated hooves.
He leans in, their muzzles touching, and he can smell his own juices on the Changeling Queen's face. They kiss, their tongues content to just probe each other's mouths at first , but soon escaping to run wild all over each other's faces and necks. He just came, but feels his member start to perk up again, preparing for another assault on the weakened enemy. He is already formulating a new invasion plan when—
"Am I interrupting something?" comes a dark whisper from the shadows of the room. Shining Armor jumps up with his horn aglow and ready to cast an offensive beam of light at any assailant. Instead of an ambushing unit of griffin dive bombers or diamond dog sappers, he spies a regal winged unicorn walking in through the dark portal to his bedroom. Their surroundings melt away, and he is suspended in endless darkness, standing on something immaterial, face to face with Princess Luna.
"P-princess? What? How? Where'd—"
"A dream, my dear nephew. And a very intimate one."
"Dream? But how... is this a dream? How can it feel so... lucid?" he asks, turning a full circle, but the Princess always seems to stand in front of him, unmoving.
"I stepped into your dream, and made it more real. You can remember what happens here, unlike with most dreams you have." She turns around and starts to walk into the darkness. "Follow me."
Shining Armor moves next to the Princess, and notices that they are heading for a distant light in the black eternity around them. "Stepped... so it's really you? I'm not just dreaming about you?" he asks in confusion.
"I would hope to avoid being part of one of your dreams like the one I just interrupted." Her face betrays no emotion, no mirth, nor disapproval.
"You saw? You saw me with... " the memories of the dream come crashing in, this time having full context to his married life and problems therein. "Urrrk... I think I'm going to... "
"Please refrain from being sick inside my dreamscape. The maids don't come here." This time there is a slight hint of a smile on her lips, but it goes unnoticed by the retching stallion.
"I just... I made... I... " he stammers, doubled over and holding his stomach.
The Princess of the Night waits a few moments to make sure the stallion can keep his previous meal inside. She then appears next to the Prince and curls her wing around him.
"Yes. You did."
"How could I... I... I didn't even remember Cadance. It's like I... I... "
Princess Luna pushes a hoof to his trembling lips. "What happens in dreams may mirror events of your waking life, but there are no crimes or adultery when in my domain. I did not even mean to pry, but after how bedraggled you looked yesterday, I wanted to make sure the two of you would have pleasant dreams."
"You... did? I thought you were angry at me for... the dinner and that dream. You looked so mad with Princess Celestia."
Princess Luna shakes her head and smiles at the stallion. When they are so close, he really feels diminutive against the noticeably larger alicorn at his side. Around them, the darkness is replaced by a starlit meadow, a gentle summer breeze running through the leaves in the trees around them.
"Do I really look that stern to you? Do you ponies still think I would be angered by someone eating his vegetable soup with the wrong spoon?"
"Gah! Did everypony notice that?" Shining Armor feels a weird blush creep to his face. It's not from shame as such, but from the feeling that he's actually talking to his mother and not one of the most powerful equines in the world.
"If it's any consolation, it took me weeks of practice with Tia to get them right too." Around them, a multitude of eating utensils dance in the air briefly. They are all jagged and twisted, almost nightmarish to look at. With a small wave of her forehoof, the Princess dispatches them. "But no. Which utensil you choose to use for eating a meal will not bring my unrelenting wrath on you. Nor will talking of border incidents at dinner. I rather liked the story. Maybe I will make them see nice dreams of each other, though it might be unnecessary if your story holds true." She giggles, the sound so unfamiliar to the Prince that she has to look up at the mare to make sure he's not imagining it.
"But no. If you are talking about mine and Tia's expressions as the reception ended, it is because of some troublesome financial news from Manehattan that the dignitary was here to deliver. Apparently they have gone over budget and neither of us is really looking forward to diving into the account books to try and find a solution." For a moment, they are walking between two infinitely high bookcases, every shelf around them filled with ledgers and reports. They slowly start tumbling down onto them. The Prince tries to dodge away from them, but they turn immaterial before reaching him before vanishing completely.
As they walk on, she gives a theatrical sigh, eliciting an unconscious little chuckle from the Prince, partly from her antics, and in part from relief of not being bludgeoned by literature twice in the same week. She turns to look at the stallion underneath her wing once more. "I am a bit worried about you, nephew. The dreams you saw are not the most... common a pony in your position usually sees. Are you well?"
"I'm... apparently I'm kinda not. Me and Cadance are having a bit of trouble and I'm starting in some therapy. Or something."
"I see. Tia mentioned something about you and your wife going to a doctor."
Shining Armor cringes and his head droops down. "Yeesh. Does everypony know about this already?"
"We get mention if a member of royalty goes to visit a doctor, yes. But I didn't know the particulars about the nature of your visit. All I know is Tia came to me today, waking me up I might add, asking..." here her voice turns high, as if trying to impersonate someone approaching puberty at one hundred miles per hour," ...'Lulu, Lulu, what kind of a paper should I fill if Cadance and Shining Armor go see a doctor so they don't have to worry about spilling state secrets? Do we have a form for that?' She is so hopeless sometimes." Princess Luna once again chuckles.
He once again has a hard time at not laughing at the Princess of the Night. "Really? She said that? The Princess I mean?"
"I may have... embellished a little." This time they both laugh out loud.
Shining Armor and Princess Luna are once again in the darkness, but somehow the air feels a bit warmer to the stallion. They walk on, the Prince pondering if his image of the Princess of the Night had really been this far from the truth.
They finally reach their destination in a flash, a moonlit meadow where a warm summer breeze rustles the leaves in the trees around them.
"This is my favourite place in the Dreaming," she says. "It was the first place I built after I returned from my exile."
Without any more words, they sit down on the grass and Princess Luna extends her wing around the unicorn's back.
"Are you feeling better now, nephew?"
"Yeah. A lot, thanks to you. I..." he can't find the words to finish his sentence.
"Yes?" The Princess looks at him with a puzzled expression, some extra question marks appearing in the air around her.
"I... guess I wanted to say I'm sorry. You're so different than I thought. We've never had a chance to talk, with you always being away during the day. What I'm trying to say is... I think you're nice." He immediately feels like a colt telling his first crush that he fancies her.
The Princess doesn't answer him at first, instead looking at him with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.
"So I am still the boogiemare under the bed to most ponies in Equestria?"
"I didn't mean that!" he says. "I just thought you were so... regal."
She sighs and lies down on the soft grass. "I'm more used to being here, in my own realm. It is not easy to talk to ponies after so long. In the waking world, I find myself lost with all the complexities of court and etiquette."
"You and me both, Princess," Shining Armor says, and they once more share a laugh. Shining Armor slowly lies down on the grass as well. The warm breeze feels nice on his skin, and he finds himself yawning, and also wondering how it is possible to feel tired while asleep.
"So, nephew. Do you think you are ready to return to your regularly scheduled dreams of our nation's number one enemy in your bed?"
He jumps up, pushing away Princess Luna's wing. "How can you joke about that? How... How can you!? I'm married and... and—"
"Oh... sorry." She blushes a bit. "I... was just trying to make you more relaxed about it... Just... sorry. Please understand that I have seen every possible dream in existence in my lifetime. It was one of the only things that kept me sane up there.... " She points at the cliché full moon hanging over them in the starry sky. "...even though I couldn't enter anypony's dreams, thanks to Tia's spell. Only watch."
"Yeah... okay. Sorry. Didn't mean to..." He sits down again with a glum expression. "Seems that all I'm doing lately is apologising."
"Believe me, nephew, I know the feeling."
The Princess falls silent, and after a moment Shining Armor looks up to see her still looking into the sky with a distant expression. The breeze rustling the grass turns cold, and they are sitting on a barren surface of rock and dust. No life has ever existed here, unlike on the beautiful blue orb filling the sky above them. He turns to look at the Princess, but finds himself alone in that forlorn place. "Uhh... Princess Luna?" he ask, but no sound comes out. He clutches his throat, finding no air to breathe.
A figure appears in front of him, standing tall on the rocky surface, her eyes turned up to watch the planet above: An alicorn mare of deepest black, clad in dull grey metal armour. Only thing moving in the whole scene is her billowing mane, dancing in the non-existent breeze of the moon. She turns to face the Prince, and a soul-numbing cold tries to crush his heart. Horror such as he never thought possible overwhelms him. He clambers up, desperate to flee the horror, but finds his body paralysed. The apparition of pure evil walks towards him, and he can finally see her face. It is twisted in an expression of the deepest hatred and fear one could imagine, but there is something else; on her cheeks are numerous beads of ice that he understands through his horror to be tears.
The cold vanishes, and Shining Armor is seated once again next to Princess Luna in her moonlit meadow. She shakes her head and returns to the reality of her own dreamscape. "Ah. Yes. We all have things that we would not prefer to think about sometimes, don't we?" She once again wraps her wing around the Prince. The cold has vanished from his body, but just the thought of spending even a second more in that horrible place makes him shiver.
"All that time? And it was like that?" he asks.
"You saw that? The moon? I did not mean to show you. Please forgive me."
Shining Armor doesn't really know how to answer, instead just nodding. They sit quietly in the warm meadow, before Luna clears her throat, trying to act very official.
"Now, I think it's time for young stallions like you to go to bed," Princess Luna says with a gentle smile. The Prince answers her smile with his own.
"One thing before I leave... uhm... Princess."
"Yes? What is it, nephew?"
"Lulu? Seriously?" he asks as his smile turns to reveal just a bit of his teeth.
"Oh nephew." She falls onto her back, dragging Shining Armor along her to the ground. "See that lovely moon out tonight?" She points at the lunar body in question hanging low above them.
"Y-yes?"
"If you don't want to see nightmares of being stuck there for the rest of your life, you will forget you ever heard that name."
"Yes, ma'am!"
Shining Armor opens his eyes drowsily. He is back in his own bed, the dawn still hours away. The memories of his conversation with the Princess, and the dream he saw before that are still vivid in his mind. He lifts his forehooves behind his head and stares at the dark ceiling and sighs.
At least she's a lot nicer than I thought... If that really was real and not a dream. Well it was a dream... Gah! Why does everything in this castle have to be so complicated? Maybe I should catch some shut-eye before I end up kelpie-ing tomorrow too.
He turns to his side, but feels a tug at his loins. Wondering what is wrong, pushes one of his hooves under his blanket, and finds both his cover, his legs, and the sheet below sticky with something very Royal.
"Oh... crap. Again?"
"Mmmhph?" Cadance mutters from his side.
"Nothing, Dear. Go back to sleep. Just a weird dream." He opts to stay on his back. "Just a dream."
Shining Armor sits in a comfortable chair. That is the only comfortable thing in his world right now.
The weekend went past slowly, mostly full of catching up on his tardy paperwork. He didn't really speak with Cadance, preferring to keep his distance after the quarrel they had. At least until he'd gotten started with his therapy, he promised himself. On Monday morning the maids had arrived again, giving a new meaning to 'Monday Morning Blues'. There were mentions of oysters. And then there's this.
"So..." The therapist rustles some papers. "Peppy tells me that you are suffering an erectile dysfunction due to psychological causes."
Yeah. My tool is broken. Go rub it in, will you?
With a large gulp, Shining Armor says weakly, "Uh... yes."
"Why is that?"
"Wait... what?" Shining Armor sits up in the recliner, looking at the therapist.
"What is the reason you cannot have an erection with your wife?" she answers in a patient tone.
"But... would I be here if I knew?"
"It is very likely that you do. You just haven't figured it out or admitted it to yourself yet." She pauses to take a breath. "Could you please tell me when you first noticed your problem? That might be a good place to start."
"It wasn't our wedding night. We were both totally exhausted and neither of us was really even trying. We practically just kissed and turned in for the night. The next night we got to our honeymoon bungalow at the Caypony Islands. I think that was the first time. We lay in bed together, I started to..." his words die down as he remembers where he is. "Sorry. I don't think I want to talk about it after all."
"If that is what you want, you don't have to. Tell me only the things you want to, but the more I know, the more I can help."
"The..."
The blazing sun was setting into the sea. Our little house was right on the beach, only a few feet from the ocean. Our porch faced west so we could watch the sunset together every evening. I returned from the beach side by side with Cady. We'd been lounging in the hot sun, and both of us were a bit red and tender from too much of it. We found out that having a light-coloured coat makes us get burned easier. Heh.
We had full room-service, so when we got back, there was a full dinner set for us outside. We ate something exotic. I remember there were lots of carrots for some reason. Both of us were trying to smile, even though our backs and sides were itching and stinging like mad. At least mine were. I finally caved in and asked if Cady would want me to put some after-sun on her, and she agreed and said she couldn't have waited any longer for me to ask.
So we went inside. She lay on our bed that could have easily fit four ponies at the same time. I mean, the room was practically just there for the bed. Nothing else. The little luggage we had with us were stashed in a small cupboard and that's about it. Everything else we got from room service. There was this weird paper on the wall that when we wrote on it, the ink disappeared after a moment and the service just came in. We once wrote as a joke 'A tofuburger, hayfries and lemonade for two, and a juggler,' and would you believe they delivered in under half an hour? Good burgers too, though they got a bit mushy after the guy had finished his act with them. And there were no other ponies for miles around. We had the whole few-hundred foot beach all to ourselves. And there was even a little wharf there. And the water was so clear that—
"Mister Armor, the place sounds lovely and I'm sure you have fond memories of it. But might you be avoiding a subject here?"
"I feel... really uncomfortable talking about these things."
"Then don't think about where you are. Close your eyes and tell me about your night."
Shining Armor takes a deep breath before continuing, but he does follow the mare's advice and closes his eyes.
Cadance laid herself on the bed and I rummaged in our luggage and found a tube of lotion. I sat at her side and started spreading it all over her body. She looks really thin and frail, but her body is so muscular and tough, like she was an earth pony under her pink coat. But when I started rubbing her, she completely melted. She made these little cute noises, like I was tickling her and not really massaging, but not in a bad way. She did giggle, though. A lot. After I'd finished with her neck, I climbed onto the bed myself and sat behind her. Cady spread her wings wide so I could reach around them better. You know, those wings are really huge. They were touching the walls on both sides. But I kept massaging and lotioning her. Is that even a word? Lotioning? But yeah. She started squirming and whinnying under me and her tail was pointing at the ceiling. I knew she was getting ready for... umm... sex. And I was ready for it too. I wanted her. I rubbed her flanks and gave them little smacks which jiggled her rump from side to side, and she lifted her backside up. And then... nothing happened. I tried to do stuff with my... thingy, but it wouldn't come up. She was asking for me to do it, saying that I was teasing her and being horrible, but I just... it wouldn't... come up.
I just said I was tired and that I wasn't feeling okay after the sun. She was disappointed, but said it was okay. She told me to get on the bed and rubbed me down with the after sun and we hugged and kissed for a moment... but it just felt so empty. Everything we did. I... didn't feel like doing it at all.
"That is good, Mister Armor." The therapist's words shook the stallion back to reality, and to the living-room slash office of the mare. "Now go back to how you felt back then. Tell me what you were thinking."
"I can't remember. It's been a few weeks since then."
"One cannot simply forget what he thinks at a time like that. There are so many thoughts and emotions, and this would have been your first time making love after your marriage. You must remember."
Shining Armor looks at the doctor with his mouth agape. "It's not like we hadn't done ...it before we got married and the whole changeling thing."
"But you still remember, don't you?"
This is horseapples! Some of that psychological mumbo-jumbo. Why did I even come here?
He jumps up from the chair and walks to the door. "I think this was a bad idea. I... better go."
"Are you sure about that? We are here to deal with your issues. If you could work them out on your own, you wouldn't have come here to meet me." The dead calm in her voice is in stark contrast to what it was before. "And I'm sorry to tell you that this might not be an easy process."
Shining Armor looks at the door. His hoof is still on the handle, but he hasn't opened the door. I can do it any time I want. Just walk out the door. Anytime I want. But I promised Cady. And the door isn't going away, right?
Instead of storming out, the stallion walks to the chair and climbs back in. He shoots one more longing look at the exit.
Please don't go anywhere, door!
After a small pause he simply says, "It's Cadance. Or not Cadance, but... the Changeling Queen. She looked like Cadance and... Seeing Cadance makes me remember her."
"What do you feel right now?" the therapist calmly asks.
"I don't know," Shining Armor says in a sure voice.
"Please remember that this only works if you are honest. You would not be lying to me, but yourself."
"But... I'm not lying... I'm just... " How dare she call me a liar? One of the most honest and... sincere... he pauses for a moment and then lowers his head to his hooves. Who am I kidding? "...lying. I'm lying. Sorry."
"How do you feel?"
The dreams. The tiredness. The tittering maids and his anger and frustration. They all start running in his mind, hammering at the floodgates like a battering ram. "Ashamed," his voice starts to crack slightly. "I'm ashamed that I can't... that I'm afraid that..." he can't continue, because the words are all getting jumbled in his head. "I can't do this!"
"You are doing fine, Mister Armor. You have a lot on your mind, and I am here to help you."
"I don't want to say it out loud!" he tries desperately.
"If you already know what you don't want to say, then you have already admitted it to yourself. And you must tell me so I can help you."
"I'm scared, okay?" he finally gets the truth out. "I'm living with a mare. I have to push papers all day long. I go to posh dinners with people who sneer at me for being a commoner that's become a Prince. I'm... so out of my depth with everything. I didn't think becoming a Prince was this hard! I don't understand anything that's going on around me! I'm used to the military. Strict orders. Rules and regulations. Lots of shouting..." He is out of breath from spilling his guts, but a fire burns in his chest. He doesn't stop. "I hate everything about my life in the castle. And I don't even know if even this is going to last. There's talk that I would have to move to the Crystal Kingdom up North. I hardly have time to see my friends and family as is... And then I'd see them even less! And... and... " His throat runs dry. He hasn't even noticed that he is shouting. "I sometimes go for days without seeing another stallion. Everypony in the castle seems to be a mare. I'm not used to stuff like that. " He finally stops, completely out of breath.
"How does it make you feel, being around mares all day long?"
"I... I don't know." He has returned to a more conversational tone, with the anger cooling down.
"Yes you do," the therapist simply says.
"GARGH! Don't you understand this isn't easy?!"
"I know it isn't. How does it feel to be around mares all day?"
"I feel like... I'm not a stallion anymore! There, I said it. Are you happy now?" he glares at the therapist.
She doesn't even bat an eyelid at him. For some reason, her unresponsiveness feels like a bucket of ice-cold water being poured down his back, and he leans back against the chair.
"I can't get my tool up no matter how much I try," he says. "I can't have sex with my wife. I get talked down by every mare I meet, from the Princesses to the... to the damn cleaning staff! And... the dreams."
"Do you have recurring dreams?" the therapist asks, scribbling some notes on to her papers like an automaton.
"Yeah. And... they're bad." He shakes his head. "Real bad."
"Do you have nightmares?"
"Yeah. And no. I keep seeing... sex dreams."
"Do they make you feel uncomfortable?"
"No... you don't get it. It's because in the dreams I'm in bed with... the Changeling Queen." He feels his lunch trying to have a peak at his oesophagus, but forces it down.
"This would be the changeling that you lived with before your wedding?"
"Lived with? That's... a weird way of putting it."
"How would you put it?"
"She used me, okay? She made me think she was Cady. We made love... " he can't continue. A new thought has started to take shape in his mind in his head. The therapist sits quietly, waiting for him to continue.
Used me. We made love. She used magic. She made me...
The clock ticks on the wall.
He looks for a way out, but his mind has finally caught up with him.
The pendulum cuts time into small slivers.
The stallion curls up in the chair, his breath coming in shorter gasps.
Seconds pass by.
He looks at the ceiling, his eyes already watering from what he is about to say.
"Was... was I... raped?" he whimpers.
Sassy doesn't respond immediately, instead waiting if the stallion is about to continue.
"Isn't that what it's called? Forcing me to... against my will?"
"The circumstances here are—" she starts, but is immediately interrupted.
"Answer me."
"It is not about what I think, but what you think."
"I... I was raped," he says, and after a moment, adds in a whisper, "Fuck."
Sassy takes a deep breath before replying. "I'm sorry to say that it is considered rape if someone forces you to have sex with them without your consent, by force or by coercion." Her every word seems to make Shining Armor grow smaller in the chair. Tears are running down his cheeks.
"Coercion. Yeah. With magic. She used that sick magic on me and... made me love her! Made me think she was Cady. And I did. I told Cady that I didn't remember what happened back then, that it was all a blur. But that's not true. We made love. More than I ever did with Cadance. All that time she was trapped and alone and hungry underground."
"You can't blame yourself for being under a spell. It wasn't your fault."
"Thanks. That's SO helpful. So now I'm a rape victim. Whoopdie-bucking-doo." He throws his hooves up in the air theatrically, tears still running on his face, but the therapist makes no further comment.
Shining Armor continues. "How stupid am I? It took me a month to figure this out? It's obvious, isn't it? R-rape. Does... does everypony else realise?"
"It is often difficult to come to terms with what has happened after a traumatic event—"
"Oh my Celestia... Cadance... and... Twilight? Do they know? D-do they know I... But I didn't mean to! I... To Cadance. I didn't tell her. And I'm not sure if Twily could figure it out." He slams both of his hooves onto his face. "Of course she did. She's way smarter than me. It's obvious, isn't it? What's the best way for a changeling to suck the love out of somepony than to have sex? And Cady? I... how can I even..." Shining Armor's forehooves start to shake uncontrollably. He slams them to the hoofrests of the chair, but it brings him no relief. The same kind of cold feeling he felt in Princess Luna's moonscape creeps into his chest, threatening to crush his chest.
Sassy Swallow appears next to him. He didn't even realise she'd gotten up or walked over. "Try to close your eyes and only concentrate on breathing," she says. "It will pass. It always does. Breathe. Breathe." She starts to breathe loudly, at a slow, calm pace. Shining Armor tries to match it, and slowly, but surely the pain in his chest ebbs away. Instead of cold, he feels almost drowsy, and all of his limbs feel like he'd just marched twenty miles.
"There we go. Just breathe," The therapist is still at his side. "Good. Can you talk?"
"Yeah. What the hay just happened?" he asks, and wonders why he is feeling so calm.
"It was a panic attack."
"What? But I... panic? I don't panic. I'm a soldier!" His words are like those of a pleading foal who is trying to excuse himself for crying in public.
"You are all right now. Just take a few more breaths." She walks back to her chair and sits down. "Do you think you can continue today, or should we cut this session short?"
"I'm okay," he says.
"Would you like to change the subject?"
"Huh? Shouldn't we be talking about... the thing we just talked about?"
"We can do that too if you wish. It is up to you."
"I was just thinking about Cady. I mean... I like being with her, you know? Just... eating with her, sleeping next to her, laughing at silly jokes with her. But whenever I think about her, I remember... the Queen. And I get scared. Me, a Captain... argh... Commander of the Guard, being afraid. I try to tell myself it's not true, that she's not the same. But it doesn't work like that! And... there's something worse."
He takes a slow breath to try and calm his emotions, with little success. "You know what's the worst part? It's not even the fact that I was... that she forced herself on me. It's that I LIKED it! That Queen... she was so... good. And... yeah. She was so much better in bed than Cadance!" He stops and looks around to see if the world was going to end with his confession. He is disappointed to find that it didn't. "I can't stop thinking about it when I'm with Cadance. It was more than her magic. I never... Cadance was my first in bed. Some mares did offer themselves for me before but... not with anypony else. Only with Cadance... and that... Queen."
"You were under the spell before the wedding. It might have changed your perception on the events."
"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MAGIC!" he shouts and puts both of his forehooves on his head. "She... we... I know when she changed places with Cadance. It was when our sex got... awesome. Her magic worked slowly, but the things we did together were so good from the beginning... oh Celestia."
"You knew when the Changeling Queen replaced Princess Cadance?" Sassy asks him, her tone revealing disappointment even through her professional facade.
"I didn't know what was going on back then. But I knew something was different from the way Cada... the Queen acted. And... I really didn't want to ask. It was so different with Cadance." he once again stops. "She was just so good in bed. And I keep dreaming of her! It's sick, but in my dreams I wake up and think I'm making love to the Queen."
...her tight flanks...
"And... I like it. "
...her sweet taste...
"I like the dream."
Every thrust...
"Even when I wake up..."
She squirms under me, but begs me to continue...
"I lied to Cadance about it, that I didn't remember the dream."
...So tight. So... perfect.
"But she was so good, so... Oh... NONONONO!"
Shining Armor bends forward and covers his nethers with both of his hooves. He feels his throbbing member sliding out of its sheath and reaching up, and the position he is seated in makes it impossible for him to cover it completely. "Sorry! I didn't... This is... "
"Quite alright, Mister Armor. That has happened to several of my male patients in the past, and I assure you it is completely natural. Just please forget about it." Her voice is patient and calming, once again her normal neutral tone.
He fidgets around with his hooves, contemplating whether to uncover his half-hidden erection, but he lets go and falls back to the chair with a blush. Little Prince stays standing up in attention, reaching for the ceiling. Shining Armor tries to close his eyes, and shortly considers trying to think about hoofball, but soon gives up.
“So... that's my story. I think I don't want to make love to Cadance because I know it wouldn't be as good as with... The Changeling Queen. And also the scared part. Hay... I don't even know which. I'm so messed up in the head, aren't I?”
The room falls silent for a moment; the only sound in the room is the scribbling of a pen against paper from the therapist. "How do you feel right now?" she asks.
"I don't know. I guess... relieved. I've never even thought of telling about these things to anypony else," he says and sighs.
"Please remember that this is not a confessional. You tell me things the way you think and I offer you different ways of thinking about them. But I must admit that you have made several great advancements today, even though it might not feel like it."
"I have?" he asks with confusion clear on his face.
"For one, you are a very honest stallion, and that makes your task much easier." She smiles at Shining Armor, which he sees only partially behind his hardened member. "Our time together today is almost done, but we have a few minutes of time. There is one question I would like you to think about before our next session. Do you think you could do that for me?"
"Couldn't we... continue? I'm not sure if I can do this again. All the stuff... Please don't tell Cadance, okay? Just—" He sits up, his voice growing higher in pitch as panic once again tries to take over.
"I would never tell anypony. And no, we work together for one hour at a time, and then we rest. There are so many things we must work out that we would exhaust ourselves if we tried to do it all in one go. But if you would, there is something you could do for next time."
"I... sure. If it helps then... sure." His ears flop down onto his head.
"I would like you to think about how you feel about the Changeling Queen. And I mean in every aspect, as a lover, as a partner, as an enemy, as a threat to Equestria."
"That's easy!" he proclaims boldly, "I hate her guts so much that I—"
"Dream of having sex with her and fantasise about her while awake. We have made a good start, but I'm sorry to say that there is a lot of work ahead of us."
Shining Armor gets up from his comfortable chair, his member still throbbing half-hard as he turns to stand. His feet don't carry him even one step and he has to fall down onto his haunches in front of the therapist. "I... I'm pretty sick... ain't I?"
"You have a problem, but I'm sure that you can get through it with my help. And I understand that your mind is in a great state of confusion right now."
His lips turn back to reveal his teeth in something that tries to resemble a grin. "Got that right."
"Go out. Have a walk. Take in a bit of air. Go drink a cup of tea. Just do not go home immediately. Go somewhere where you would never usually go. Allow your mind to rest for a while. You've earned it."