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It's Raining Apples

Source

Rainbow Dash goes to Appleoosa for a delivery from Applejack to her cousin Braeburn, but will Dash be in for more than she expected?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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Mistershield

Mistershield #1 · Nov 16th, 2012 · · ·

Braeburn hadn’t been to handy on the farm those three weeks since he last saw Rainbow Dash. His sister had to keep yelling at him to stay on task. He just couldn’t shake her from his mind. “I have to see her again,” he whispered loudly to him self.

Then later...

“I’m a colt-cuddler” Braeburn looked depressed, he left without another word. Rainbow Dash just stared into her cup and cried silently.

See what happened there? He was aware Dash was a girl, and then turns around and says he likes males?

Other than that... Well, I'm not a romance buff or anything, but something felt off. Maybe the flow? Good luck, hope you can find someone better suited for romance than me.

Celestias Paladin

Celestias Paladin #2 · Nov 16th, 2012 · · ·

Kind of with Mistershield on this, kind of a big 180 to want to see her then turn around and claim he is gay.... or for that matter not see that she is in fact a she, I mean the voice, slender build, delicate muzzle, is kind of a big clue.

lemoutonpetite

lemoutonpetite #3 · Nov 17th, 2012 · · ·

To everyone who brought up that mistake, thank you. I hadn't noticed.

umimoriko

umimoriko #4 · Nov 17th, 2012 · · ·

hey i told you in school i would look it up and read your story lol. it was good besides the little mistake when you wrote that he wanted to see her but i did like your story