Enjoy.. or not. I don't care.

My response to this fic:

This is not a Deus Ex crossover. Why would you get my hopes up like that?

Okay, in all seriousness, I'll point out errors I see.

Apparently, they lost their way to the home of a zebra named Zecora and got lost.

You said they were lost twice in the same sentence. Redundant.

I returned them to their families, getting thank you’s from AppleJack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash. Never thought of her for the adoptive type.

Applejack, not AppleJack. Also, you might want to change the wording of that last bit. Something like this, maybe: "-and surprisingly, Rainbow Dash. Never figured her for the adoptive type."

I went to the Hospital to have my injuries checked out

"Hospital" shouldn't be capitalized, because it isn't a proper noun. If it were part of a name, like "Ponyville General Hospital", then it would be capitalized.

Trixie, or the Great and Powerful Trixie

Put her stage name in quotations, double quotes since the subject is not actually being brought up in dialogue.

Past that, it's actually pretty good! I really don't see the "young dude" angle played to its fullest extent much, but here you are, with your protagonist turned on by hot lesbian action, like any dude would be. And the choice of not spending much time on HiE tropes like "getting used to the new world" is an interesting choice, but I've seen it before in a few other fics, and it isn't actually a bad idea.

Continue...

YO YO YO

PEACE OUT

Deus Ex parody cover art, yet absolutely nothing to do with the series whatsoever?

1618634
1619844
I love Deus Ex way more than you two ever will but remember that I don't give a complete shit about this abomination. Making a Deus Ex fic soon though.
1618717
You are suppose to hate this shit!
Anyway, thanks. Some people alredy fav'd this and I do not want to crush their spirits so I am forced to write... clop.
1618942
Yo Yo Yo
I don't blame you.

ooh, this is gonna be goood .. more plz

You know, it will funny if latter in the story, turns up that Rarity and Trixie where fighting for the human the whole time.

Hey, now that I remember something, does anybody now about "human/pony romance" with Rarity, I have being searching and found romance with everyone of the main 6 except Rarity. This is actually the first one that I found

... Not many can get my attention... well you got it...
Keep up the good work my good sir.

Yours truly. NecromancerX69

Ps... Fail me, I will swallow your face and chew your soul till it looks like old bubble gum... good day.

1620723
Threaten me again and I will tear your soul straight out from your rectum.
Have a nice day...
1620133
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQ-pc4nvqfCgRNvbFz8FDCN6LmS-TRjfH61AAUf1uXCiIPZ2mP

1620802 Is that a challenge?
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRHMZqqjOecAqDMUJZ1-p-EtwFpo5zKBsknFbVwa-QWVxOBK5djNeXUOrnXuQ

1620011 brilliant i would put in one of those pictures saying that but im to lazy to so you just get the typed version but this is really good for a dumpster project

1623675
Thnx

1623686 you going to finish it ? it be a shame not to but you said it your self you were only expecting people to criticize it

1623700
Unfortunately, some people liked this enough to favorite. So, I will have to write smut so I do not break their wittle hearts.

haza the funs have been doubled i always wanted to use that but dont worry im sure whatever you come up with will be great

you elude me good sir, if its not too much trouble, i would love to see this ever so romantic beastality brought to an epic climax, if you know what i mean.

If you people decide to dislike this, give me a reason why so I do not make the same mistake again. Don't be assholes and dislike it because your dick is too small and want to take your anger out on me.
I don't care for this story but come on; disliking for no reason is for bitches and punks.

THEN HE GOT ON THE BED AND I WAS LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

1676768
Bloody fruit shop owner

1676986 I own no fruit shop.

I like it so far

1620442 You can search by tag.