Waking up in the Everfree Forest in the dead of winter, you start your time in Equestria seeing it from a less welcoming point of view than one might expect. Freezing to death and meeting a not too friendly wildlife you come close to death, until yo
This can not end well for him, especially with Applejack on the loose! Glad you didn't decide to use the collar on him, that would have been so....wrong. I vote for the different point of views thing. Keep up the good work!
Bleagh he thought the thermometor was..... that kind...... now I understand his reaction!
Well hopefully Applejack and Twilight won't do much to hurt him, he's already been cooped up in the house for so long, won't do to have him back in bed so soon!
2624926 The reason I never use a oral thermometer, the thought of mixing them up and use the wrong one scares me to this day.
2624947 I don't know how it Works. I posted the chapter and un-posted it Again because I was still editing it. Even unposted it got featured, hmmm strange.
2625065 First one of these I ever gotten, Thank you.
After skimming across a little, you have captured my attention, good...sir? Ma'am? Whatever. I thought this was going to be stupid clop, judging by the rating, but so far, it looks interesting. Human comes and is treated like a dangerous animal. Neat. Haven't seen that before. At least I haven't. But I don't have time, so to the read later list you go!
So apparently Celestia and Twilight fell off the top branch of the stupid tree and hit every single one on their way down. Or the Equestrian legal system literally has a law that says "Anything an Alicorn does or orders another pony to do is totally okay, no matter what." Either possibility is equally terrifying.
First off, we've got Celestia using a mind scanning spell without any consent on the part of the target, while it is in no fit state to provide said consent. I could almost agree with her here, I mean she doesn't know what the fuck this thing is, if it wasn't for the subsequent actions on the part of her and her student. And then they decide that the rational, logical response to whatever freaked her out so much was to have the protagonist wear a magical collar that fucks with his mind, instead of just waiting till he was better and having a calm, civilized discussion with him regarding their concerns. You know, like you'd expect somepony who is at absolute bare minimum, a dozen centuries old would be mature enough to do. But nope, we're right off to using mind control magic, which the individual in question has absolutely no experience with, and for all they know, a lethal allergic reaction to. Because they literally know absolutely nothing about humanity in general or the protagonist in particular beyond what a mindscan (which is already probably somewhat questionable legally, unless the earlier "Whatever I do is okay" law is an actual law) and whatever notes Fluttershy may have written up for them while taking care of him would tell them. And then when the target refuses to wear the collar? Twilight decides that the most rational course of action is to get in a wresting match with it, and achieve its compliance with Celestia's orders via brute physical force, which legal or not, is just blatantly wrong morally. I'd even go so far as to classify it as "probably just as bad as if she'd just raped the poor guy right there".
Damn, now I really hope that Celestia shows up in person and gets Stared/The Reason you Suck'd.
2625158 he tried to tell you that it should be semi-conscious, conscience could be used but apparently is outdated (you can look it up on wiktionary)
and you seem to have some problems with the conjugation of the 3rd person (missing s' on the verbs or s' where they don't belong), and some minor misspellings which your spellcheck should be able to identify (if you are using open office or MS office), or you may want to get a, or more, pre-readers
other than that I really like this fic so far, keep it up
Well,... I don't really know but I am capable of using furniture as weapons, like couches and tables (if I can pick them up).... And I might accidently kill Twilight with that...
Yay, racist/speciesist ponies. Even the cannon supports this with the whole "somepony" term (don't want to refer to another species by mistake by saying someone), don't recall any non ponies in authority positions either.
So a strange creature shows up wearing finely made (though torn up) cloths and speaks your language? Assume it's a wild animal, maybe a pet if it behaves, and treat it as such (eg, the whole collar bit). It took prolonged contact with his caregiver to even start to get the point across that he's not a fucking dog and that only extends to fluttershy so far.
This human is a real jackass... I'm mean, dude... He should be grateful to Fluttershy for intervening. And what is up with Twilight? Figured she would at least ASK Celestia why she was so horrified. But, eh, makes for a good story. Keep up the good work, bro.
Joking aside, I think this illustrates quite well why I'll probably start to write sub-chapters seen from the ponies point of view as mentioned in the authors note. Also whoever said that Celestia came up with the collar idea or surports it? As for Twilight, well when she gets an idea into her head, she follows through come hell or pinkie sense. And when she is unceremoniously attacked by what she sees as a potential dangerous creature, she dosn't back down. She actualy showed great restraint in the fight not using her magic until she reached the end of her rope.
Well that's my unbiast (looking away, whistling hoping no one sees through that logical fallacy there,) oppenion.
2627321 Well, sheeps, cows and other farm animals can talk, but aren't seen as being anything other than animals
2627426 Well being beaten up by a girl has that effect on most guys. As a rule never seek to comfort a guy who has just been beaten, let him come to you in his own time.
Well Celestia has never been the most forthcoming with information, and when Twilight decide's upon a action she follow's through.
In my opinion, at least Celestia and Twilight are clearly acting dumb. Celestia because she completely misinterpreted whatever she saw using that stupid unreliable-sounding mind-reading trick and didn't even think of talking to the clearly sentient and weakened being before deciding to use the friggin collar. That's incredibly irrational of her. And Twilight because she never questioned her ruler's dumb desicions and even though she had an entire conversation with the human, who had been peacefully living with Fluttershy for a long time by now, she still somehow had the idea that he might be malicious. And now she thinks he posessed Fluttershy? I'm sorry, but these two really are acting incredibly stupid so far. The human could've acted more rationally too and asked some questions / tried to clarify something, but who knows what state he's in psychologically. There's no excuse for Celestia and Twilight's stupidity, though.
2627614 Well, Celestia most likely read his mind to get a glimpse of the history of his species. Because what she sees in kinda messed up she decides to judges an individual based n the whole. That is just extremely racist. Not to mention, I am pretty sure that the history if her people isn't all sunshine and rainbows. If we take into account what we know of their history, and give it a level of realism, then their is most likely just as bad. Plus if she did read his mind she should know that a collar is basically a symbol of slavery. She could have made the thing anything think else. A ring, a bangle, an armband, a ear ring, anything. But no, she decides to make it a collar.
Twilight is just an idiot for over reacting. Again. Assuming that this is happening after Fluttershy befriended Discord she should know that she is always going to give the supposed dangerous creature the benefit of the doubt. Plus for how smart she is she doesn't give the character any chance to explain why he doesn't want to wear the collar. She just basically attacks him. Then she tries to defend her actions that he might be dangerous. We guess what genius, anything will attack to defend themselves when they feel threatened. Which is what he felt.
Let us not forget that that collar will basically leave him open to attack, and he won't be able to defend himself. Which is a big possibility when the more raciest, and extremist ponies find him.
So yeah, in this story Celesstia and Twilight are stupid.
Huh, I've never had a problem when a female hands me my rear on a platter. Although, yeah, you are right about the comforting bit. When I lose a fight, I tend to want to be left alone, so yeah, I can see that. Still think he overreacted though, I mean, she has MAGIC. What did he think was going to happen? Rhetorical question... Anyway, I'm looking forward to the continuation of this story.
Edit: well, that was interesting, about the sub-chapters: that's a really hard choice to make, for one, it would open the explanation of the chapters, people would understand better some complex parts, but for some other parts, it could become redundant and boring, for short, finding the balance would be a bitch.
about the image: the previous one was better, imo, this new one is too cheery, the old one fits more the feel of lonely-ness and helplesness of the protagonist, but that's just my idea.
2627614>>2627614 Oh but that's part of/the cause of the problem.
It seems to vary how the sentient animals are treated (cows vs donkeys) but whether it's by choice or by force that their lot in life is as it is the result is the same. Speciesist ponies.
Why assume this new talking monkey is any better or why would they treat their inferior (anything not pony) any better then the rest?
"I'm not speciesist, I have a dragon as a friend/little brother that I got for free from my magic school entrance test!"
Also whoever said that Celestia came up with the collar idea or surports it?
Well theres always the chance that Twilight not only came up with this plan, but crafted a magical artifact of no small power all on her lonesome, I'd feel that Celestia has to have provided at least SOME impetus for Twilight to do so beyond "Brief look of shock on her face". I mean, going from "Ohh hey this thing might be dangerous, you should probably be careful when talking to it" to "QUICK, WE NEED TO SOCIAL-FU AND MIND-RAPE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS GUY!" Is a pretty big leap, even for Twi in full tardy mode.
2627614 Well, the human is acting like a stuck-up prick about being an invalid. Really, I have seen plenty of people who are very grateful for the help they receive when incapacitated.
His reactions also tend to fly off the handle instantly in most cases. He's not exactly an example of the the more logical members of the species (though there are few of those, admittedly).
And Twilight... she doesn't figure out that forcing a sapient creature to wear a collar might be looked upon as demeaning? Then rather than explain matters to him to calm the tension, she grabs him in her magic and tries to force it on. Ambassador material she is not!
“Well, okay.” You say as you look from Fluttershy to Twilight. “My name is-.” At the same moment as you say your name, a loud whistle suddenly comes from the kitchen, drowning out your voice. Fluttershy jumps up at the sound and hurries out into the kitchen and turns off the stove. When the whistle stops Twilight looks at you. “That’s a strange name.” Apparently she heard it over the teakettle whistling.
This is getting good. And I don't think you need to change anything to get other ponies' points of view. Although suddenly I don't like how sexist the character is. Perhaps something in the next chapter about how he realizes how retarded it is to be this beaten up over a girl beating him in a fight and a girl saving him from said fight? As always, awesome story. Can't wait for more.
2627985 Thank you fot going more into details. Always good to get more insight.
2628483 Well magic or not, getting beat hurts even at chess.
2628740 Yeah, but my plan was never to keep it in that mode of lonely-ness (maybe a bit more helplesness) since that would be a hard read, I think. Sub chapters could easily turn in to a though decision since it seems that the road I choose are not the one others seem to like. What do you think of swithing between points of view in the chapters?
2628923 But again it's a fantasy world things don't always need to make 100% sense.
2629031 Yeah most likely, what can I say there is a reason why I do this as a hobby and not for a living.
2629591 I see your point, could be that my aversion against characthers who constantly jumps up from all opposition, always come out on top in any situation and acts correctly has gotten the better of me. Letting him act on his emotions might have jumped over to the other extreme. And this being a slice of life story there couldn't be a great outside force, taking the role of opponent, so Twilight seemed as a good candidate. Also because her characther is versitile enough to be a good opponent to the protagonist. That why I love to get feedback, like any parent I have a hard time seeing the things my children are lacking so thank you for pointing it out.
2631962 Well, maybe over the top, but if he just acted out like he did because he got beaten and his adrenalin was pumping. If I didn't give the protagonist another moltivation, could be people would see the protagonist as either crazy or a even bigger douch. I don't know maybe it's just me not having enough trust in my readers, due to my own low self-esteem.
I always get caught in the told from another person's point of view that is nor 100 % reliable, seeing as Twilight probably never seen Celestia trully horrifide before and might have put more into it than she had to.
As for the leaving a potential dangerous creature in the care of a civillian. Celestia moves in mysterious ways.
I think you are doing really good with your story keep it up. too many of my favorite stories have "died" lately... aka the writer loses interest, leaves the fandom etc etc...
I'm glad I finally took the time to give this a read. The story itself is rather interesting, even if the explanation for why Celestia wants 'me' bound with the Gleipnir, the unbreakable chain that bound Fenrisúlfr, a son of Loki, seems a bit flimsy at the present time.
Maybe that in itself is a bit telling [or I'm just overthinking it]. It may very well be that 'I' am in fact a creation of Discord, 'my' memories manufactured entirely, and this whole story is an allusion to the binding of Fenrir, Twilight representative of the god Týr.
Aside from all that, I hope you'll continue on with this story, but I hope you will look into getting a proof-reader. The Proofreader Group is as good a place as any to start.
2658890 Like a true intellectual. Still getting physical attacked by a A.L.F. can shake even the most rock solid person.
2675655 Cool idea, but not what I was thinking, Seeing that a three legged Twilight limbing around after you bit her leg of, then breaking free and devour Celestia until princess Blublood kills you by oppening your jaw until it breakes from its hinges. Still could be a cool.
Proof-readers are hard to find. 95 % says no when the word clop appears, and for the rest, the main problem is that they have lives. For some reason using all their freetime proof-read stories doesn't have much appeal.
2677398 Nah, I rely on proof-readers myself for my work, though admittedly not nearly to the degree that you might need.
Surprisingly, my present ones offered to proof for me after I made a blog posting tagging the story to notify readers. You could probably do the same. With the number of people following this story, you're bound to get a couple willing to help point it out.
This can not end well for him, especially with Applejack on the loose! Glad you didn't decide to use the collar on him, that would have been so....wrong. I vote for the different point of views thing. Keep up the good work!
.....I wonder, the situation would be different when im in it...
Bleagh he thought the thermometor was..... that kind...... now I understand his reaction!
Well hopefully Applejack and Twilight won't do much to hurt him, he's already been cooped up in the house for so long, won't do to have him back in bed so soon!
aaaaand BOOM! Immediately featured!
Chapter 4... media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8pef0t4EE1rt2qa6.gif
2624907
Thank JBL, he was the one WHO hit the last nail in the coffin of that Idea.
2624912
How so?
2624926
The reason I never use a oral thermometer, the thought of mixing them up and use the wrong one scares me to this day.
2624947
I don't know how it Works. I posted the chapter and un-posted it Again because I was still editing it. Even unposted it got featured, hmmm strange.
2625065
First one of these I ever gotten, Thank you.
2625078
And one we all can share.
2624816
Come again?
In this fic Twilight, and Celestia are stupid.
After skimming across a little, you have captured my attention, good...sir? Ma'am? Whatever. I thought this was going to be stupid clop, judging by the rating, but so far, it looks interesting. Human comes and is treated like a dangerous animal. Neat. Haven't seen that before. At least I haven't. But I don't have time, so to the read later list you go!
So apparently Celestia and Twilight fell off the top branch of the stupid tree and hit every single one on their way down. Or the Equestrian legal system literally has a law that says "Anything an Alicorn does or orders another pony to do is totally okay, no matter what." Either possibility is equally terrifying.
First off, we've got Celestia using a mind scanning spell without any consent on the part of the target, while it is in no fit state to provide said consent. I could almost agree with her here, I mean she doesn't know what the fuck this thing is, if it wasn't for the subsequent actions on the part of her and her student. And then they decide that the rational, logical response to whatever freaked her out so much was to have the protagonist wear a magical collar that fucks with his mind, instead of just waiting till he was better and having a calm, civilized discussion with him regarding their concerns. You know, like you'd expect somepony who is at absolute bare minimum, a dozen centuries old would be mature enough to do. But nope, we're right off to using mind control magic, which the individual in question has absolutely no experience with, and for all they know, a lethal allergic reaction to. Because they literally know absolutely nothing about humanity in general or the protagonist in particular beyond what a mindscan (which is already probably somewhat questionable legally, unless the earlier "Whatever I do is okay" law is an actual law) and whatever notes Fluttershy may have written up for them while taking care of him would tell them. And then when the target refuses to wear the collar? Twilight decides that the most rational course of action is to get in a wresting match with it, and achieve its compliance with Celestia's orders via brute physical force, which legal or not, is just blatantly wrong morally. I'd even go so far as to classify it as "probably just as bad as if she'd just raped the poor guy right there".
Damn, now I really hope that Celestia shows up in person and gets Stared/The Reason you Suck'd.
2625158 he tried to tell you that it should be semi-conscious, conscience could be used but apparently is outdated (you can look it up on wiktionary)
and you seem to have some problems with the conjugation of the 3rd person (missing s' on the verbs or s' where they don't belong), and some minor misspellings which your spellcheck should be able to identify (if you are using open office or MS office), or you may want to get a, or more, pre-readers
other than that I really like this fic so far, keep it up
2625138
Well,... I don't really know but I am capable of using furniture as weapons, like couches and tables (if I can pick them up).... And I might accidently kill Twilight with that...
It's good that the protagonist wants to retain his dignity. Good on Fluttershy for coming to his aid against Twilight! And then, Applejack...
So the human is stupid, the ponies are stupid...
I think the Timberwolf is the only one's making sense at this point!
yay it's back
amazing as always keep it up and take your time
Pure evil.
Yay, racist/speciesist ponies. Even the cannon supports this with the whole "somepony" term (don't want to refer to another species by mistake by saying someone), don't recall any non ponies in authority positions either.
So a strange creature shows up wearing finely made (though torn up) cloths and speaks your language? Assume it's a wild animal, maybe a pet if it behaves, and treat it as such (eg, the whole collar bit). It took prolonged contact with his caregiver to even start to get the point across that he's not a fucking dog and that only extends to fluttershy so far.
This human is a real jackass... I'm mean, dude... He should be grateful to Fluttershy for intervening. And what is up with Twilight? Figured she would at least ASK Celestia why she was so horrified. But, eh, makes for a good story. Keep up the good work, bro.
2627426 Being assaulted by Twilight would probably not put him in the most rational of thoughts
2625201
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/abwhysaythat.gif
Care to elaborate please?
2625319
Thank you.
2625366
Well at least it wasn't the racist tree.
Joking aside, I think this illustrates quite well why I'll probably start to write sub-chapters seen from the ponies point of view as mentioned in the authors note. Also whoever said that Celestia came up with the collar idea or surports it? As for Twilight, well when she gets an idea into her head, she follows through come hell or pinkie sense. And when she is unceremoniously attacked by what she sees as a potential dangerous creature, she dosn't back down. She actualy showed great restraint in the fight not using her magic until she reached the end of her rope.
Well that's my unbiast (looking away, whistling hoping no one sees through that logical fallacy there,) oppenion.
2625369
Thank you for clearing that up.
2625396
Well the protagonist has a hard enough time whthout a murder charge on the the god rulers personal student hanging over him.
2625965
Well seemed like the right choice, what about Applejack.
2626050
Well the Timberwolf does have more simple personal prioreties. It walks around, it eats and it makes little timberwolves.
Care to go into detail on the human and ponies stupedity?
2626994
Glad you can get your fix.
2627110
Indeed.
2627321
Well, sheeps, cows and other farm animals can talk, but aren't seen as being anything other than animals
2627426
Well being beaten up by a girl has that effect on most guys. As a rule never seek to comfort a guy who has just been beaten, let him come to you in his own time.
Well Celestia has never been the most forthcoming with information, and when Twilight decide's upon a action she follow's through.
Thank you for the compliment.
2627614 In regards to Seraph's comment: STOOPID, STOOPID, STOOPID!
Better? :3
On a side note, wow this isnt dead. Yay I think.
In my opinion, at least Celestia and Twilight are clearly acting dumb. Celestia because she completely misinterpreted whatever she saw using that stupid unreliable-sounding mind-reading trick and didn't even think of talking to the clearly sentient and weakened being before deciding to use the friggin collar. That's incredibly irrational of her. And Twilight because she never questioned her ruler's dumb desicions and even though she had an entire conversation with the human, who had been peacefully living with Fluttershy for a long time by now, she still somehow had the idea that he might be malicious. And now she thinks he posessed Fluttershy? I'm sorry, but these two really are acting incredibly stupid so far. The human could've acted more rationally too and asked some questions / tried to clarify something, but who knows what state he's in psychologically. There's no excuse for Celestia and Twilight's stupidity, though.
2627614
Well, Celestia most likely read his mind to get a glimpse of the history of his species. Because what she sees in kinda messed up she decides to judges an individual based n the whole. That is just extremely racist. Not to mention, I am pretty sure that the history if her people isn't all sunshine and rainbows. If we take into account what we know of their history, and give it a level of realism, then their is most likely just as bad.
Plus if she did read his mind she should know that a collar is basically a symbol of slavery. She could have made the thing anything think else. A ring, a bangle, an armband, a ear ring, anything. But no, she decides to make it a collar.
Twilight is just an idiot for over reacting. Again. Assuming that this is happening after Fluttershy befriended Discord she should know that she is always going to give the supposed dangerous creature the benefit of the doubt.
Plus for how smart she is she doesn't give the character any chance to explain why he doesn't want to wear the collar. She just basically attacks him. Then she tries to defend her actions that he might be dangerous. We guess what genius, anything will attack to defend themselves when they feel threatened. Which is what he felt.
Let us not forget that that collar will basically leave him open to attack, and he won't be able to defend himself. Which is a big possibility when the more raciest, and extremist ponies find him.
So yeah, in this story Celesstia and Twilight are stupid.
2627614
Huh, I've never had a problem when a female hands me my rear on a platter. Although, yeah, you are right about the comforting bit. When I lose a fight, I tend to want to be left alone, so yeah, I can see that. Still think he overreacted though, I mean, she has MAGIC. What did he think was going to happen? Rhetorical question... Anyway, I'm looking forward to the continuation of this story.
my jimmies are so ready for this :D
Edit: well, that was interesting, about the sub-chapters: that's a really hard choice to make, for one, it would open the explanation of the chapters, people would understand better some complex parts, but for some other parts, it could become redundant and boring, for short, finding the balance would be a bitch.
about the image: the previous one was better, imo, this new one is too cheery, the old one fits more the feel of lonely-ness and helplesness of the protagonist, but that's just my idea.
can't wait for the next chapter :3
2627614>>2627614
Oh but that's part of/the cause of the problem.
It seems to vary how the sentient animals are treated (cows vs donkeys) but whether it's by choice or by force that their lot in life is as it is the result is the same. Speciesist ponies.
Why assume this new talking monkey is any better or why would they treat their inferior (anything not pony) any better then the rest?
"I'm not speciesist, I have a dragon as a friend/little brother that I got for free from my magic school entrance test!"
2627614
Well theres always the chance that Twilight not only came up with this plan, but crafted a magical artifact of no small power all on her lonesome, I'd feel that Celestia has to have provided at least SOME impetus for Twilight to do so beyond "Brief look of shock on her face". I mean, going from "Ohh hey this thing might be dangerous, you should probably be careful when talking to it" to "QUICK, WE NEED TO SOCIAL-FU AND MIND-RAPE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS GUY!" Is a pretty big leap, even for Twi in full tardy mode.
2627614 Well, the human is acting like a stuck-up prick about being an invalid. Really, I have seen plenty of people who are very grateful for the help they receive when incapacitated.
His reactions also tend to fly off the handle instantly in most cases. He's not exactly an example of the the more logical members of the species (though there are few of those, admittedly).
And Twilight... she doesn't figure out that forcing a sapient creature to wear a collar might be looked upon as demeaning? Then rather than explain matters to him to calm the tension, she grabs him in her magic and tries to force it on. Ambassador material she is not!
“Well, okay.” You say as you look from Fluttershy to Twilight. “My name is-.”
At the same moment as you say your name, a loud whistle suddenly comes from the kitchen, drowning out your voice. Fluttershy jumps up at the sound and hurries out into the kitchen and turns off the stove. When the whistle stops Twilight looks at you.
“That’s a strange name.” Apparently she heard it over the teakettle whistling.
I see what you did there...
This is getting good. And I don't think you need to change anything to get other ponies' points of view. Although suddenly I don't like how sexist the character is. Perhaps something in the next chapter about how he realizes how retarded it is to be this beaten up over a girl beating him in a fight and a girl saving him from said fight? As always, awesome story. Can't wait for more.
2627985
Thank you fot going more into details. Always good to get more insight.
2628483
Well magic or not, getting beat hurts even at chess.
2628740
Yeah, but my plan was never to keep it in that mode of lonely-ness (maybe a bit more helplesness) since that would be a hard read, I think. Sub chapters could easily turn in to a though decision since it seems that the road I choose are not the one others seem to like. What do you think of swithing between points of view in the chapters?
2628923
But again it's a fantasy world things don't always need to make 100% sense.
2629031
Yeah most likely, what can I say there is a reason why I do this as a hobby and not for a living.
2629591
I see your point, could be that my aversion against characthers who constantly jumps up from all opposition, always come out on top in any situation and acts correctly has gotten the better of me. Letting him act on his emotions might have jumped over to the other extreme. And this being a slice of life story there couldn't be a great outside force, taking the role of opponent, so Twilight seemed as a good candidate. Also because her characther is versitile enough to be a good opponent to the protagonist.
That why I love to get feedback, like any parent I have a hard time seeing the things my children are lacking so thank you for pointing it out.
2631962
Well, maybe over the top, but if he just acted out like he did because he got beaten and his adrenalin was pumping. If I didn't give the protagonist another moltivation, could be people would see the protagonist as either crazy or a even bigger douch. I don't know maybe it's just me not having enough trust in my readers, due to my own low self-esteem.
Gleipnir was the chain that bound Fenrir in Norse mythology.
Clever.
2634370 I can see that. But at least make some point of him learning just how stupid his sexist views are.
2634386 Nah, man, it's cool. It just makes the emotions in your story that much more effective, thus a better story overall.
I've been waiting of this to update. I hope the next one is faster. Have a moustache, or two
2634370 They could both explain it away by saying they were drunk and/or high.
I like this fic, and I know that Fluttershy willbe the first pony in the story.
But you writed about Princess Celestia being litterally terrified about the memory of the human.
She is a ruler, and leaves an unknow creature that will potentially can be hostile, in the hand of a civillian pony?
A bit strange, if celestia had just few doubts about him, the thing would have been more 'natural'.
I always get caught in the told from another person's point of view that is nor 100 % reliable, seeing as Twilight probably never seen Celestia trully horrifide before and might have put more into it than she had to.
As for the leaving a potential dangerous creature in the care of a civillian.
Celestia moves in mysterious ways.
Like when she:
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/134/594/trollestia.png
or
assets.diylol.com/hfs/100/d88/3a8/resized/celestia-meme-generator-vagabond-family-send-them-to-wilderness-beside-a-forest-full-of-dangerous-creatures-1be600.jpg
or
assets.diylol.com/hfs/2e3/865/e39/resized/celestia-meme-generator-host-a-boring-party-laugh-as-it-s-destroyed-53509f.jpg
or
assets.diylol.com/hfs/0e2/00f/0a9/resized/celestia-meme-generator-fly-in-to-retrive-a-scroll-make-turbine-sounds-and-sound-like-a-plane-whilst-landing-d8fbb7.jpg
or
assets.diylol.com/hfs/592/aa8/ff6/resized/celestia-meme-generator-discord-takes-over-send-student-and-her-friends-c837ef.jpg
or
assets.diylol.com/hfs/e38/cb4/d57/resized/celestia-meme-generator-student-has-5-friends-send-2-tickets-and-watch-them-fight-f84d55.jpg
or
assets.diylol.com/hfs/e15/2cb/6d4/resized/celestia-meme-generator-is-strongest-being-in-equestria-gets-crushed-like-a-bug-by-a-bug-14c7f3.jpg
All of these action turned out for the best but, doesn't make sense in the moment or at least that how I see it.
P.S.
What do you mean that Fluttershy will be the first pony in the story?
I think you are doing really good with your story keep it up. too many of my favorite stories have "died" lately... aka the writer loses interest, leaves the fandom etc etc...
2647353
Thank you.
Is story death a major problem right now?
2648301 It has been in a lot of stories I've been watching lately.
So thankful you didn't call him Anon.
2657560
That would be cliche even for me. I'm actualy thinking that his current succes rate he should take the name of Joxer (Joxer the mighty):
P.S. Any thoughts on the new Chapter?
Twilight Sparkle: Student, scholar, scientist, bloody hysteric.
I'm glad I finally took the time to give this a read. The story itself is rather interesting, even if the explanation for why Celestia wants 'me' bound with the Gleipnir, the unbreakable chain that bound Fenrisúlfr, a son of Loki, seems a bit flimsy at the present time.
Maybe that in itself is a bit telling [or I'm just overthinking it]. It may very well be that 'I' am in fact a creation of Discord, 'my' memories manufactured entirely, and this whole story is an allusion to the binding of Fenrir, Twilight representative of the god Týr.
Aside from all that, I hope you'll continue on with this story, but I hope you will look into getting a proof-reader. The Proofreader Group is as good a place as any to start.
2658890
Like a true intellectual.
Still getting physical attacked by a A.L.F. can shake even the most rock solid person.
2675655
Cool idea, but not what I was thinking, Seeing that a three legged Twilight limbing around after you bit her leg of, then breaking free and devour Celestia until princess Blublood kills you by oppening your jaw until it breakes from its hinges. Still could be a cool.
Proof-readers are hard to find. 95 % says no when the word clop appears, and for the rest, the main problem is that they have lives. For some reason using all their freetime proof-read stories doesn't have much appeal.
Would you be interrested?
2677398 Nah, I rely on proof-readers myself for my work, though admittedly not nearly to the degree that you might need.
Surprisingly, my present ones offered to proof for me after I made a blog posting tagging the story to notify readers. You could probably do the same. With the number of people following this story, you're bound to get a couple willing to help point it out.
2677398 Heh, what am I, chopped liver?!
Daaaaang! That's one Moody human!