Look at Ponyville.
Start in its north and east. Look at its apartment buildings and its residential area. Most of them are less than twenty years old, the result of a steadily rising population. Ponyville is considered a hick town by many in Equestria, but it is growing, benefitting from the rail station that passes through it, and its proximity to Canterlot itself. It is still a rural, farming community through and through, but over the past twenty years its population has increased by a quarter.
But pay attention to the buildings. Note the state of them. The walls are strong, still, but there is not a single completely intact window to be found. The most robust and luckiest windows still feature a few cracks. Most feature holes. Some of them are gone altogether, shattered, or even actually missing, some enterprising pony having decided to take the time and effort to actually remove them.
Look inside any home. You’ll see beds, and sofas, and cushions for sitting on. They’re all in place, but some of them have clearly only been pushed out of the way, not in their normal positions – that is, when they’re there at all, and not missing due to being broken or unrecoverable, or just plain having gone missing. Note the prevalence of stains, stains everywhere, food stains and drink stains and stains of a variety that are thankfully unidentifiable at a glance.
Move to Ponyville’s east now. The wide-open plaza in this section of Ponyville should be bustling with ponies. This is the farmer’s market, where ponies set up stalls and kiosks and hawk their wares – mostly farmers, appropriately enough, but the other businesses of Ponyville also occasionally set up little side-shops here, as well as any travelling salesponies. On a day like today, the farmer’s market should be bustling and loud, full of ponies buying and ponies selling and ponies talking.
It is not full. Indeed, it’s near empty. If one didn’t know any better, one would think that some kind of massive depression had hit Ponyville’s economy. The few ponies in the market certainly seem depressed, even the big red stallion manning the apple stand. The buyers don’t have a lot of money with which to buy, and the sellers don’t have much stock to sell.
Now move to Ponyville’s south, then up to its west. The south and the west of Ponyville are dominated by ‘proper’ businesses – that is, stores, with windows and wares kept inside four sturdy walls. This being a small farming town, the owners of the businesses frequently live in apartments over their shops. Ponyville has a little bit of just about everything available to its citizens, or it normally would. Not right now. The windows of the businesses, the interiors of the stores, have fared little better than the homes in Ponyville’s north. Here, a clothier is frantically trying to scrub graffiti off of her storefront. There, a candymare is still sweeping trash and unsellable candy out of her back door. A jeweler is trying to calculate how much of her stock has been stolen or, more likely, simply been misplaced. A baker and his wife and their apprentice are looking mournfully at a virtual desert of wasted flour on their floor.
Now look at Ponyville’s center. The town hall is a wreck, surrounded by a veritable sea of papers that the few officials in town are desperately trying to gather up. The weather patrol station’s cloud silo is missing its top, and so sits empty. And the Night Court Representative’s home and office has had its entire front window smashed apart.
Now head from the town proper, and out to the farms. Crops have been worse than neglected – they have been abused. Trampled on. Pulled out. Their irrigation systems are exposed and need to be buried again, but not before they’re cleaned out. Carrots left out in the sun too long have shriveled and dried to the point of inedibility. The walls holding a pond in place have broken, flooding a grove in an inch of water that floats over three inches of mud, seriously endangering the apple trees there with rot.
Now look to the skies. Recall the cloud silo has broken open. The weather patrol has, apparently, been out of commission for some time, as the skies overhead are gray and disorganized, clouds clumping together and roiling around without any attempt to control them, because none on the weather patrol even know where to begin.
Ponyville looks like it’s been through a war. In fact, it has been through a party.
Not by choice – the Ponyvillians would never do this to themselves by choice. There was magic involved, a curse that forced them all to drink to the point of a loss of inhibition, but never allowing them to become drunk enough to collapse. It took three days to break the curse. Nopony is seriously hurt – a few bumps, a few scrapes, and a town-wide hangover, but nothing that won’t recover on its own. But the town?
Ruined. The sheer magnitude is shocking, almost incomprehensible. Worse is the knowledge that they themselves did it, even if not by their own choice. But worst of all is the burning question inside the minds of every mare and stallion in Ponyville:
How can we possibly fix all of this?
---
My little pony, My little pony
Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...
My little pony
Friendship never meant that much to me
My little pony
But you're all here and now I can see
Stormy weather; Lots to share
A musical bond; With love and care
Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat,
And magic makes it all complete!
You have my little ponies
How'd I ever make so many true friends?
---
Town meetings in Ponyville were open affairs where anypony was invited to observe or raise questions or talking points, if not necessarily vote on the affairs of the municipality. Nevertheless, normally few ponies did.
But today, five days after the curse had been broken, so many ponies had been showing up at the town hall that the meeting had been moved from there to the wide-open area of the farmer’s market. A collapsible stage had been pulled from storage, found to be intact, and so set up near the entrance to the market, with a long table set up upon the stage. The members of Ponyville’s town council sat along the table, facing the sea of ponies in a riot of coat and mane colors that each of them represented.
The town council consisted of nine ponies. At the center of the table was Ivory Scroll, of course, the elected mayor of Ponyville who had never expected to have to deal with any crisis worse than a late winter wrap-up, which was more a cause for embarrassment than concern. To her left was Applejack, the owner of Sweet Apple Acres, the representative of the Apple Trust, and the direct descendant of the first Apples, who founded Ponyville. To Ivory Scroll’s right was Filthy Rich, a normally jovial business magnate and the direct descendant of the Rich family, who were the second family of Ponyville and the ones who helped put it on the map by marketing the Apples’ zap apple jam. The Riches and the Apples were guaranteed a seat on the town council, while six of the remaining ponies, including Mayor Scroll, were elected. None of them had ever expected to deal with a serious crisis, either, and all of them seemed nervous.
But none of them seemed as positively distraught as a blue unicorn mare with purple eyes and a silver mane and tail that sat at the right end of the table, who alternated between looking guiltily at the rest of the council and with deep concern at the crowd of ponies in front of her. She kept her hat low over her head, and her cape wrapped tightly around her, as though trying to use them as shields.
Before the town had set up the stage and the table, Trixie Lulamoon, the Representative of the Night Court of Princess Luna, had delivered some bad news to the town council. She had only been the messenger and had hated the news herself – but she had nevertheless been the victim of a considerable amount of shouting and insults before the other eight members of the town council had settled down and remembered that Trixie had only delivered bad news, not been the source of it.
Soon, though, the news would be delivered to the entire town.
“I wonder if I’ll be lynched,” Trixie mumbled under her breath. She tried to remember the last time a pony had been lynched in Equestria, but drew a blank. Shaking her head a little, she refocused her attention on a standing pony at the front of the crowd, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail: Rainbow Dash, the head of the weather patrol.
“…all of our cloud supply for the next two months,” Rainbow Dash was explaining. She was flanked by a number of other members of the weather patrol, who each had papers in hoof or at least nearby. “We’ve been working double shifts to try and recover the water vapor and we think we may have enough that we can supply a few small rain showers…but overall Ponyville should be prepared for a dry summer.”
“Why can’t you just create new clouds?” Filthy Rich asked. “I thought pegasi could just make weather.”
Another member of the weather patrol – Raindrops, Trixie’s close friend – stepped forward at that. “We can, but it isn’t easy,” she said. She sounded exhausted, and looked it too, the result of five straight days of desperately trying to round up all the escaped clouds and water vapor. “The weather factory in Cloudsdale is much more efficient and faster. There just aren’t enough patrol members. Try to imagine taking care of every single tree down in Sweet Apple Acres by yourself, then extend that over all of Ponyville.”
“We might be able to do better if we can get volunteer help,” Rainbow Dash resumed, nodding in thanks to Raindrops, “but it’s also a problem that we just don’t have enough water vapor to go around, either. We’d need a lot of hot days in a row to build that up, ninety degrees or higher – ”
“We can’t do that,” another pony in the crowd interrupted, standing. She had a yellow coat and an orange mane and tail – Carrot Top, another of Trixie’s friends. She trotted up to the front. “I’m sorry, Miss Dash, but I don’t think my farm – I don’t think any farm in Ponyville right now, certainly none of the Farmer’s Union – can take that. Many of our farms had their irrigation systems ruined. I’ve already lost my entire crop for the month because of that. We need to save whatever water vapor we have right now until after we’ve all planted, then we’ll need to stretch whatever vapor we have until we can harvest. But we can’t have any hot days that’ll waste whatever water we do get into the ground.”
“Ah’m with Miss Carrot Top on that,” Applejack said, nodding to Rainbow Dash, and grimacing. Much of Sweet Apple Acres’ irrigation depended on the river and pond that they had on their land – the pond that had broken its banks and flooded an entire field. At least two apple trees had died so far from what amounted to drowning, and dozens more were looking like they weren’t going to make it, either.
“What is our food situation?” Ivory Scroll asked, looking out to the crowd of ponies. “Are all of you set? Who doesn’t think they’ll be able to make the month with what they have? Won’t be able to afford to buy more food due to the curse?” There was some uncomfortable mumbling and looking between each other. A few hooves rose into the air, but less than a dozen. Ivory Scroll frowned at that. “Come on now, ponies,” she said. “Now is not the time for pride. We need to have an accurate idea of what we need.” Gradually, more hooves rose into the air, then more, then more. When all was said and done, more than a quarter of the ponies gathered had raised their hooves in the air.
Ivory Scroll nodded grimly at that, then looked to Applejack. It was a known fact that Sweet Apple Acres was home to a vast store of specially preserved apples and a few other foodstuffs, in case of blight or famine, due to an almost paranoid belief on the Apple family’s part that either could strike at any time, even in Equestria. Apparently, the paranoia was now vindicated. Applejack, herself, was looking out over the ponies, brow furrowed and hooves tapping out a mnemonic rhythm as she did some calculations. After a moment, she nodded to the mayor. “Might be tight,” she said. “Some of our stores were broke open, 'cludin' our largest. Animals got ta' them an' the rest in there ain't fit for consumption. But Ah think we can make it if’n we use the apples we still got growin’. Ponies’ll be a mite peckish for awhile, but nopony will starve, Ah promise.”
Ivory Scroll offered a thin smile. “Thank-you, Applejack. You can say ‘I told you so’ if you like.”
“Don’t much feel like it, mayor,” Applejack responded. “Truth is, Ah’d just as soon’ve been wrong.” She looked to Carrot Top. “Sweet Apple Acres’ irrigation system’ll be fine once we get the water back in the pond. We’ll focus on feedin’ ponies now. The rest of y’all just start plantin’ and tillin’ and fixin’ what ya can. Ah bet that a month from now even Ah’ll be sick of apples an’ wantin’ somethin’ else.”
A wave of much-needed, light laughter spread through the crowd at that, as both Carrot Top and Rainbow Dash and her team sat back down. Ivory Scroll shuffled some papers in front of her, glancing at Trixie. Trixie grimaced at the resentment she saw as the earth pony mayor looked to Rainbow Dash. “We’ll make do with the water vapor we have,” she said. “We’ll try and requisition more from Cloudsdale. Hopefully they’ll send some.”
“What about the town’s emergency funds?” Rainbow Dash asked. Almost as one, everypony in the town council flinched, Trixie looking almost as though she had been bucked square in the jaw as she did.
“In just a moment, Miss Dash,” Ivory Scroll said, as her secretary came up on stage, looking nervously down at the sheets of paper she held in her mouth. “Because of the curse,” she pressed on, “many of you have been submitting requests to Ponyville for use of the emergency funds.”
“Of course we have!” Cheerilee called. The magenta earth pony was sitting near the front of the crowd, with her older sister Berry Punch, her younger sister Piña Colada, and the rest of her family. Berry Punch looked far from her normal jovial self – the curse in question had hit her at least as hard as the farmers, if not harder, as she’d owned the local bar – a bar that was now completely depleted over and above the damages caused by the cursed riot.
Ivory Scroll nodded at that, as her secretary passed her the sheets of paper. The pony had just finished adding up the total costs from all the submissions. “The total cost of the curse…acquiring clouds from Cloudsdale even at their emergency cost, repairs to municipal buildings, and dolling out requested funds to each of you…is eight hundred eighty-five thousand bits.”
The ponies of Ponyville recoiled at that, and low conversations began. Most of them had a sense as to where the conversation was about to turn. The emergency fund was set up to help conduct repairs to the exteriors of buildings or fix roads that were damaged from rogue Everfree storms, maybe help a few ponies through rough times caused by natural disasters – it had never been thought that it would need to essentially carry the entire town for several weeks. Cheerilee nevertheless stood up at that. “How much money is in the emergency fund?” she asked.
Ivory Scroll winced. “A little over fifty thousand,” she said.
There were actual shouts and cries at that, everypony standing up and first asking, then shouting, questions and concerns and demands. Trixie tried to burry herself under her hat, at least until she heard, over the din, her name being called.
“Representative Trixie,” Ivory Scroll repeated, the name eliciting silence from the crowd. Trixie glanced up. When the mayor had silence, she looked pointedly at Trixie, as did every other member of the town council, along with every other pony in Ponyville.
So this is what stage fright feels like, she mused. She found it to be a singularly unpleasent feeling.
“Representative Trixie,” Ivory Scroll said a third time. “This wasn’t an Everfree storm, the responsibility of our own weather team. This wasn’t a party that got out of control through fault of our own. This was an attack on Ponyville, by a minion of Corona. A magical curse compelled us to destroy our homes and our livelihoods. Under the circumstances I think it would be entirely fair of us to ask for official help from the Royal Emergency Management Ministry. I believe that it is the responsibility of Canterlot to aid Ponyville in our time of need.”
Trixie shuffled in place. “I agree,” she said, then repeated herself, louder, making sure everypony could hear her. “I completely agree! The REMM was founded for exactly this purpose! It should not be Ponyville that has to carry this burden!”
There were nods of agreement and calls of consent to that from the crowd. “Very well, then,” Ivory Scroll said. “As you know, we have already alerted the REMM to the situation through you.”
“I sent the request twice! Noted that it was an emergency and everything!”
“And?”
Trixie’s mouth clamped shut at that. Slowly, carefully, she withdrew a sheet of paper from a pocket in her cape, an official invoice from the REMM, and signed by its head – Night Light, of the House of Starlight, Viceroy of Latigo. She looked to the crowd, then back to the paper – then back to the crowd again, then back to the paper. “The REMM…” she read, “r…regrets to inform the town of Ponyville…that it will not be – ”
That was as far as she got before the crowd of ponies all began shouting at the top of their lungs in anger, shuffling about, throwing their hooves in the air, the wings of pegasi flared and the horns on the unicorns glowing dangerously.
Trixie couldn’t help it: she panicked. Her own horn glowed, she turned herself invisible, and she bolted from the stage.
---
Carrot Top wasn’t much surprised when she arrived home to find Trixie in her living room, sitting on the floor and running her hooves through her mane, normally expertly styled but now a mess of cowlicks and split hairs from the poor treatment that her hooves were giving it. In point of fact, the earth pony farmer had been expecting to find Trixie here – hence why Raindrops, Cheerilee, Lyra, and Ditzy, together with Carrot Top Trixie’s five closest friends, were with her as she closed the door behind her.
Trixie turned quickly when she heard the door close, standing and stumbling forwards. “It’s not my fault!” she cried out desperately to them. “It’s not – I’m just the messenger – this isn’t my fault!”
Before she could get much further, Ditzy Doo was upon her, wrapping her hooves around the blue unicorn and holding her close. “Shh…it’s okay, we know…” the gray, wall-eyed pegasus assured her friend. “We know, everypony in town knows, too, they’re just angry right now. They’ll calm down…” Trixie’s own legs gave out at Ditzy’s embrace, and she just held her friend close, her eyes wide and staring off into nothingness.
There was a bang that Trixie’s nerves really didn’t need right now. Everypony jumped, and saw Raindrops was staring at the floor, where she’d just used a front hoof to punch a dent into the wood beneath her. Crying out, Raindrops slammed her hoof several more times into it. “Stupid…” she exclaimed as she hit it, “useless…government!” Her hoof broke through the floor, then, and into the basement below, and she nearly lost her balance before steadying herself with her wings and breathing heavily. She looked to Carrot Top, her face still a look of barely-contained anger. “I’m sorry,” she stated, for politeness’ sake if nothing else. She probably genuinely felt the regret, it was just overridden by the anger right now.
Carrot Top shook her head. “Next to everything else?” she asked. “It’s nothing…”
“Can they do this?” Cheerilee demanded, coming up to Trixie. “According to the Detrot Act, the REMM has to supply aid to any township in Equestria that’s been the subject of an attack by a hostile force!”
Trixie grimaced at that, taking out the letter from the REMM, glancing it over again before passing it around. “That’s the thing,” she said. “The REMM doesn’t believe that this was Zecora’s fault. That this was an attack by Corona. Seeing as Zecora escaped Ponyville doesn’t have any proof. Viceroy Night Light says that he thinks that Ponyville is just trying to abuse the REMM to help pay for the damages we caused – ”
“Wait,” Lyra said, holding up a hoof. “Viceroy Night Light? Night Light?”
Trixie grimaced, nodding. “Y-yeah. Twilight Sparkle’s father. He's the head of the REMM.”
The other five mares looked uncomfortable for Trixie, while Trixie herself still looked as though she’d just come out the other side of a siege. Twilight Sparkle. Arguably Trixie’s biggest screw-up since coming to Ponyville, the lavender unicorn had come to Ponyville looking to learn at the hooves of the Element of Magic – and had found Trixie to be far from the sorceress supreme, amazing magic-user she had thought Trixie was supposed to be. They had argued, and Trixie had tricked Twilight into embarrassing herself in front of town, causing Twilight to go into the Everfree Forest and bring back an Ursa Minor which proceeded to wreck havoc in Ponyville until Twilight and Trixie, working together, had been able to banish it back to the Everfree. Afterwards, rather than facing responsibility for her actions, had fled from the town, leaving Trixie little choice but to report her as a criminal.
Weeks later, she had learned that Twilight Sparkle was the daughter of Night Light, Viceroy of Latigo and, quite possibly, the single most powerful member of the Night Court of Luna. His reach was vast and his resources were limitless. And, it seemed, he hated Trixie for what she’d done.
“You need to apologize,” Ditzy told Trixie, her eyes focusing on the blue unicorn. Normally her eyes wandered, but when she willed them into alignment, she had the most intense stare of any pony Trixie had ever met. “You need to apologize to him, Trixie.”
“I’ve tried!” Trixie cried out, throwing her hooves in the air. “I tried when Princess Cadenza visited Equestria. I’ve sent three – three – letters to him, both in Latigo and his estate in Canterlot! They’ve all been returned unopened! You think I want an enemy in the Night Court that big?”
Trixie wanted to get into the Night Court, the governance of Equestria. She’d accepted that this was going to naturally involve making some enemies. In fact, she had several of those already, most notably Duke Greengrass, who’d seemed determined to get the Elements of Harmony under his hoof.
But a viceroy? Contraction for vice-royalty? In the hierarchy of nobles within Equestria, the three viceroys were second only to Princess Luna herself in terms of political power. Trixie, meanwhile, didn’t have any noble title, and indeed had only properly entered the Night Court six months ago simply as a Representative of the Night Court – a glorified messenger and go-between.
“Can we go over his head?” Raindrops asked. “Go directly to the Princess?”
“I’ve tried,” Trixie moaned, looking down. “I’ve tried, but with the Gala in three days she’s been kept busy with…with everything. My letter-sending spell only sends things to her desk, she probably hasn’t had time to be in her office for a week…”
“You need to fix that,” Carrot Top said. “This isn’t the first time we’ve had problems because you couldn’t get in contact with the Princess…”
“If I had a jangle for everypony who wanted a direct line to Luna herself wherever she is,” Trixie deadpanned, “I could hoof the bill for Ponyville myself.” Trixie sighed. “I was going to catch a train to Canterlot tomorrow, try and go and see her directly…but if I can’t then we might have to wait until after the Gala before she’s free again.”
“Why not at the gala?” Lyra asked.
“At the gala?” Trixie asked.
“Corner her in the gardens or something. You have your ticket still, right? Why can’t you just see Princess Luna then?”
Trixie shook her head. “Two reasons: one, everypony is going to want to see Luna at the gala, I probably won’t get a chance; and two – I wasn’t going to go.” She sat back on her haunches. “I’m not going to dress up and go to a party while everypony else in Ponyville has to deal with the mess…”
Raindrops grimaced. “Fair point,” she acceded, sighing, and looking around. Carrot Top’s home had fared better than her own, which had become infested with bugs during the three-day curse that had gotten into everything and everywhere. But the damage to Carrot Top’s livelihood was far worse, what with her irrigation system having somehow been filled with wine, and her harvest for the month lost. Even with earth pony magic making the carrots grow faster than they otherwise would, it would be a long time before she could recoup her losses without help from Canterlot – though she could, at least, take a measure of comfort in the fact that the same applied to everypony else in Ponyville.
But how could a viceroy - a noble of Luna's Night Court - let an entire town suffer, just to get back at one mare?
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-diunno.png merpi.imgur.com/H29oP.png
Good opening; I love the continuity and consequences (This has always been my favorite aspect of the Lunaverse) and poor... well, everypony.
Dis gon b gud
Okay. I automatically hate Nightlight. He is willing to punish an entire town for something that is his daughter's fault.
And for the record, IMHO, Twilight gets the lion's share of blame for what happened in 'Boast Busted'. I just reread chapter two to verify it, and yeah. Twilight sticks her entire foreleg into her mouth with almost no prompting from Trixie.
Great start. I just hope Trixie gets some sort of due and recompense.
Gorram, that is a heck of a way to start a story!!!
Ah, vengeful bureaucracies heading by nobility with a grudge. Weren't they the reason the guillotine was invented? Of course, I get the feeling that the Viceroy may not just be angry at Trixie--I suspect that he does blame the town for their role in the affair, if only for the fact that the town was where it took place.
The ironic thing is? The set up reminds me a lot of Prince Blueblood in "My Little Alicorn" where he wants Celestia and then Luna to destroy Ponyville as payback for what they did to the Gala...or more specifically, what Rarity did to him.
I can not wait to see more of this.
RDD is #1
Hmmmphhhh.....Shining Armour is the only decent one in the lot so far. Nightlight is an arrogant fool who won't see that his insane imbecile daughter is mostly to blame for her own misery and wants to punish a town for it. No damned wonder that Fisher is able to contemplate the Viceroyalty in "The Duke Abides".....Luna gives the jackass what for.
That, about sums up my thoughts so far. I knew that getting addition relief funds to help cover the disaster was going to be among the concerns going into of the Gala, but this... this just seems like overkill. The town's own resources cover less than 6% of the damages; that leaves Ponyville as an independent town basically dead. Rebuilding without outside assistance is just about literally not an option.
I'm seriously uncomfortable with the fic going into such explicit details and would have much prefer to have skipped this chapter and left the severity of the crisis vague. As it stand this feels like it will hang like a shadow over the entire Gala destroying in pretense of the magic and wonder that such prestigious event should inspire. The L6 are no longer going to a party, but on a desperate last ditch mission to save their homes. I still expect you to pull it all through by the end, but I'm not feeling at all excited about the road it's going to take to get to that end.
1593495
Dunno quite what you were expecting; if all they needed was a little help then there wouldn't be much conflict at all and I might as well have waved the Status Quo wand over Ponyville. Similarly, skipping the chapter and leaving the severeity of the crisis vague means later scenes and the full importance of the situation are completely without context.
Try to imagine A New Hope without the Death Star blowing up Alderaan, or even discussing how it can destroy a planet or be anything other than very large with a lot of guns. Actually you don't even have to imagine; the rough draft of Star Wars is available online and in it that's all the Death Star was: very big and with a lot of guns. It...lacked the oomph.
The Gala in the Lunaverse was never supposed to be about the gala itself or the "magic and wonder" pretense. That's the TV show episode's idea, and if we were going for that then I might as well have just re-written "The Best Night Ever." Which is the reason why I asked GrassAndClouds2 to set "Foalish Misadventures" as Episode 25: we needed a disaster to have stricken Ponyville in order to set up a situation wherein the Night Court could become the front and center antagonists with no more room for pussyhoofing around or trying to play delicate games for overal small stakes.
1593083
Meh, I still actually intend to go back to "Boast Busted" and clean up the scene so that it's clear that Trixie was ultimately responsible for Twilight's actions, or at least goading her. So don't hold that belief too strongly 'cause it's going to change. Eventually.
1593179
I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some inspiration, though it's worth noting that the execution is actually going to be completely different. Suffice to say that you shouldn't judge Night Light too harshly until we've actually had a meaningful scene with him.
Not that I'm saying he isn't a dick - just that there may be outside influences. This is, after all, a story of the Night Court. Nothing is as it seems on the surface.
1593590
I was expecting there to be some serious stuff going on once the gala was underway, but nothing so huge it prevented the characters from at least starting out with the hopes of enjoying the party. As it stands this will be all work and no play, and that makes me a very dull boy.
I get what your trying to do here, it's just far more dark and moody than I really care for. Just my opinion though really, so don't let my utter lack of enthusiasm for this fic spoil yours.
Ooh, I'm really enjoying this. This feels really moody and epic. The town council scene was especially great, and I love the whole feeling of impending doom when they find out that their enemy is Viceroy Night Light.
Random note: we seem to be short one pony on the Council. The two with guaranteed seats (Applejack and Rich), the one that's appointed (Trixie), and five elected (including the mayor). That leaves one out.
Feel free to PM me for any questions regarding the Greengrass/Fisher/Puissance trio and what I had in mind for them (although you're of course not bound by that; I'm interested to see as well what you come up with).
man, you started out with the heavy stuff.
And I sincerely hope Nightlight gets the ass kicking he so rightfully deserves for this.
1593927: Between the vindictive Night Light here and greedy Puissance from Greengrass's Night, I'm kind of hoping for a cameo of Wallflower just being a very nice pony in general. Just for contrast. :-)
Excellent start to the chapter, though it felt a little repetitive near the end of the introduction.
the council scene was well done loved Ditsy comforting Trixie and Raindrops anger.
Honestly with the new season 3 premier/Lesson Zero it's not like Twilight need much motivation to behave irrationally or to risk others to "get a good grade"
I'm fully expecting some cringe worth scenes in the near future, and frankly I'm not sure any of the L!^ besides maybe Lyra were expecting the Gala to be the excellent super affair the M!6 cast thought it would be.
Looking forward to the Night court members you bring in kinda hoping for Redwing/ETC who else can we expect, is there even a minor chance of seeing Calcite?
heh sorry
Couple minor spelling issues, along with a pretty badly awkward beginning to this chapter. The "and look at" bits really didn't work. Once we got past that though this was a VERY interesting story. And it looks like it'll go really interesting places. But the first few paragraphs really could use a rewrite.
Incidentally, I hope that Dinky and the other foals aren't beating themselves up too badly over not solving the problem faster. They did a very good job, all things considered.
Well, this definitely ups the stakes on the frocks and broken day-dreams of the original. It still holds plenty of possibility for drama and self-discovery, though.
Do go on....
1593242 I get the feeling that Twilight gets her ability to jump to conclusions and her single mindedness from her dad. Meanwhile Shining Armor (who has three stars on his cutie mark like his mom) probably gets his stability from his mother.
1597354
He'll also get "Not having his flank handed to him by Luna" from her too.
Oh and minor quibble... on the stage there is nine ponies, removing Trixie that means the town counci would be eight ponies (including the mayor)... then we learn that the Rich and Apples get a seat there automatically, but you mention the 'other five, including the mayor' have to be elected... but that only accounts for seven pony. Who is number 8? The mayor's secretary?
1597384
Whoops, no, that's just me math failing.
RDD- This is really terrible. You remember that story where the Network was introduced, then edited out. If the nobility in Canterlot will pull stuff like this I think the Network actually wasn't enough. This to me really says that your claims that the Lunaverse isn't that dark isn't accurate. This shows massive government corruption and a disconnected ruler
And you'd think the head of the Apple Trust and possible the richest non-noble pony in Equestria would have significant pull
1597384
I'm guessing the head of the Weather Patrol
1597476
Calm down - we've only just started. Don't judge a story by its first chapter.
1597498
Heh. It will be the best night ever....for the Luna Six. For Greengrass and Nightlight.................not so much.
Read this last night and I'm anticipating wonderfully traumatic things for our Luna Six. I love how the gala is being used to unite the group for a common cause rather than separate them. What chaos will be unleashed when ponies with a cause march into the gala? I'm looking forward to finding out!
I also liked how Luna herself is not the solution. It would be easy to say the princess would send help due to her relationship with Trixie, but that's not the case.
Good setup! I'm jumping around with all these Lunaverse stories but darn it, I can't help it! I'll be watching.
The Luna 6 should also have no problem approaching Thunderous Posey, considering they know Rainbow Dash and helped Fluttershy
Who's to say that Nightlight's even seen Trixie's requests? There are plenty of resourceful ponies on the Night Court that would love to see the guy take a dive so that they can have his position. What better way than to make it look like he's deliberately neglecting his duties over a personal vendetta? I'm fairly certain that it would be easy to intercept Trixie's missives and requests for aid (the ones she didn't send to Luna) and fabricate replies. For all we know, Nightlight might not actually be aware of the situation. It sounds exactly like the sort of ambitious plan a young up-and-comer eyeing a promotion for himself might come up with... I wonder who that could be.
1593590 I am... not looking forward to that, to be honest. It makes Twilight out to be some innocent victim when she started it, and then brought a star bear to Ponyville!
1598104
Twilight started it by heckling and then accosting Trixie backstage. Trixie tried to drop it and leave, though not before saying some harsh things about Twilight's beliefs; Twilight then continued it when she teleported to Carrot Top's stall. Trixie here reacts by manipulating Twilight into looking like a bigot (that's the part I need ro re-write). Twilight then becomes convinced that she has to go get the Ursa Minor to either prove her worth or prove Trixie's lack of it, but she only does that at all because Trixie, when they were arguing backstage, belittled her belief in the awesomeness of spellcasting and essentially told her that she sucked at life for thinking that magic begins and ends with spells. Even if that's demonstratably wrong in FiM, there were much better ways to handle the situation than how Trixie did.
Point being that there will still be plenty of blame to land at Twilight's hooves, but it was never supposed to be the "Twilight sucks at life show."
(And even in the current version it isn't, it's just not disfavoring Trixie as much as I'd originally wanted)
1598014
If I recall correctly, Thunderous Posey isn't actually on the Night Court; that'd be Fragrant Posey, a Duchess. I forget whether we decided if she was Fluttershy's sister or cousin or aunt or whatnot, though; I think G&C2 kept it vauge, and I think I will as well if that's the case.
She is scheduled for an appearance, though.
1598235: Yes, Duchess Fragrant Posey is on the Court, and her relationship with Fluttershy was edited to be vague by request. Thunderous is just an industrialist.
1598071: It'd be hard for the Duke to prevent Trixie from actually visiting Night Light during Cadanza's party; as I recall, NIght Light ignored Trixie on his own there.
As for whether the Duke would actually do something like forcing Night Light to ignore Trixie, or intercepting his mail, I'm kind of torn. He knows that, to take over the nation, he'd need Luna to sign on, and he knows she won't do that if she has cause to think that he'd lay waste to the country. Letting a town die to further a short-term political gain would probably just ensure that Luna would never give him power, even if the Court wanted her to -- she'd know that he might well let Equestria and its ponies die. (This is another reason why his schemes usually only hurt either ponies who are working for him and betrayed him, or other politicians, who are 'in the Game.' The exception being F&F foalnapping Apple Bloom, but they went so far off the rails there that the Duke would never have supported that had he known. So he can argue to Luna that, yes, he'd be a good gardener to the ponies in his care -- see, he's never hurt an innocent, etc.) Besides, that's not good gardening, cannabalizing an entire plot of thousands of flowers for the sake of a few. (In contrast to someone like Fisher, who is a chess player and so is quite willing to sacrifice as many 'pieces' or as much 'material' as he needs to so that he can accomplish his objectives).
Blueblood, though... I could see him trying something like that, and being capable of pulling it off (blocking the mail).
Then again, it's probably academic -- RDD already said that Night Light is not part of Greengrass's coalition, and I don't see Greengrass having the clout to threaten NL.
1597476: That is a good point though. We know that the Trust has emergency funds for farms in distress (this was mentioned in CTS). However, it's reasonable to assume that Night Light could easily put political pressure on them not to release their funds.
except Applejack seems to be pretty important in the Trust hierarchy so how would that work?
1598400: "Resplendent Orange, if you bail out SAA, I assure you, the Apple Trust will do no business in Latigo for as long as I live. Also, I will see to it that your cushy government contracts end. In the span of a few years, you'll be no more than a loose collection of hardscrabble farms."
"But Applejack--"
"She can rise as high as she is able -- at another farm. Not SAA. Move her."
...Okay, I'm going to guess that Night Light isn't the one turning down her requests. Because if he is, he is officially the most vindictive asshole ever, the Night Court is the biggest scourge in history, and Luna is officially the worst ruler ever for allowing it to get this corrupt.
Seriously, way to kill any sort of hope and joy for this one. While detailing the fallout from the last story is fine, this is such a bleak and hopeless chapter that it honestly feels kind of draining. The next one had better not be as weak as this one.
Still doesn't work for me. Sweet Apple Acres would be the farm the Apple Trust was built out of. And from what's been written there's no farm that can compete with the Apple Trust.
Also Nightlight is one of the four most important ponies in Equestria. His son is the captain of the Royal Guard.
Would his daughter be allowed to travel alone around Equestria, no matter how big a magical protege she was? Especially when it was known that a tyrant more powerful than their ruler was around, still wanted to conquer Equestria and had access to modern ponies who could probably tell her who was who?
The Lunaverse has never worked perfectly to me. For one thing I think it paints Luna as a far inferior ruler to her sister, even if it's not a dystopia, which I'm sure wasn't the intent, but making Twilight's family this important when when Boast Busted was written Trixie's only comment about her identity was that Twilight had graduated a year early and personally been handed her diploma by Luna seems weird.
Does no one bring their foals to important events? In the real world the kids of important people are well known. Luna's apprentice not having met the family of one of the ponies Luna would have been spending an incredible amount of time with almost seems like a plothole to me.
1598586
Magical prodigy. And now that I've played Teacher today...
And this is my problem with the Night Court. Not just the stories, but how the whole thing is structured, the ponies we've put into place there, and the way Luna runs things. Whenever the camera gets turned on the Court's politics and policies, the whole Lunaverse suffers for it. This story, unfortunately, shows no sign of bucking that trend.
1598586: There are other Trusts and mega-farms. There's no farm in Ponyville that can beat them, but that isn't the same thing. We saw a few such farms in CTS (Hay & Alfalfa Incorporated, Tuber Union, etc.). They just don't have Ponyville branches because Ponyville is in the middle of nowhere and has nothing important in it besides the L6.
I don't see why his daughter can't wander around Equestria. He's a high enough rank that there's not really anyone who can say 'no' to that anyway. And it would be hard for him to forcibly prevent Twilight from going; she can teleport and all.
I have to disagree with you on the Court and Luna. It doesn't seem to be a worse set-up than even the USA. (And actually, on this topic, I recall a thing from a year or two ago when a state - Texas, I think - cut their firefighting budget, then had wildfires start to wreck everything. When federal relief was't as fast as hoped for, or before it was approved or something, the governor began ranting about how Obama wanted Texas to burn. So even events like in this story happen IRL and such).
Also, for all we know other towns have actually tried this scam, blaming Corona for some major disaster that she had nothing to do with.
I figure that Trixie has met Night Light, but Twilight is such a recluse that she probably never went to the big events.
(As for Filthy, he's rich by Ponyville standards, but I believe we decided on the boards that he's probably not rich compared to the upper class of Manehattan and such. Not to mention Sterling Silver, who seems to have much more money than even Rich).
1598630: The Court also includes just and fair ponies like Posey, Wallflower, Fancy/Fleur, and Poker. The good ones just aren't as interesting to focus on.
1598565
Frankly if the chapter is "bleak" and "hopeless" then I wouldn't call it weak. While I'm not certain what other kind of situation y'all were expecting to begin with if the stated goal was a situation bad enough that the Night Court come front and center as antagonists, this kind of emotional responce is exactly what I was hoping for.
It's a sign of readership investment.
1598586
She recognized Night Light, Twilight Velvet, and Shining Armor on sight in "An Early Reunion." The problem is that she was unable to connect Twilight Sparkle to Night Light, having never actually met the two of them before, and didn't make the mental connection of Twilight Sparkle and Twilight Velvet until that moment. Twilight herself is extremely apolitical and so probably didn't show up to any previous Galas or other get-togethers, instead staying home and reading, or even if she went she probably kept her nose buried in a book.
We don't always recall everything all the time, even if it's important. For example: Quick! Name Barrack Obama's mother and father! From memory, no Google cheating or the like. Now name his kids! Again, no Googling, do it from memory.
See? Obama is arguably the single most important person on the planet by dint of being the President of the most powerful and influential country on the planet, but damned if anyone except those who know him personally can answer that question, even though it'd seem kinda' important to be able to do so. Hell, I bet even most senators would have trouble answering those questions, and they work with the guy.
1598676
And on the Silver and Rich note, there's every possibility that they will foot the bill for Ponyville, and ditto the Apple Trust. Especially if the three split the cost somehow, this is probably, well, not small change, but not a signficant cut into their finances.
The point is that they should not have to, that it should be the duty of the REMM to foot the bill in this instance.
As to the Court including both good and bad ponies, I'm going to try and showcase that. As I've said, I think that Equestria goes through the same natural cycles as any other nation: rise to power, golden age, decline, reorganization or dissolution, then repeat. Luna simply controls the cycle in that she extends the golden age, makes sure the rise to power doesn't involve killing off the Lakota, and the decline is more of a social than financial or physical one, and ensures that dissolution doesn't happen and the reorganization is carried out swiftly, fairly, and without the need for Reigns of Terror.
Right now, Equestria is in the midst of that reorganization. We're seeing its social order at is nadir. Is it bad? Eh, I guess. But there's a notable lack of Maxamillian Robspierres or Lenins.
1598727
You mean the kind that makes me feel like walking away again? Because that's kind of what this chapter does.
Seriously, you couldn't at least end it with everypony realizing they have to go to the Gala to get answers? Just a little further and it wouldn't have felt like a complete drain. The first chapter of any story has to set the stakes and show our heroes preparing to counter them. You've done the former, but the ending does jack for the latter.
1598727
his kids names are Malia and Sasha. His father is also Barack. His mother's name is Ann, which I remembered but was so ordinary I checked to see if it was just her middle name. His dog is named Bo,
1598727: Yeah, but then Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and possibly some of the Apples would become completely insufferable.
Dinky: "My Momma's the Element of Kindness!"
DT: "Well, my dad saved the entire town and stopped everypony from being homeless! Neener neener."
:-D
Also, it would seem to me that, if her Gala plans fail, Trixie could just wait until the Gala was over and then tell Luna what's going on, and she could knock some sense into Night Light.
So the story's moody, but I don't see it as being nearly as doom and gloom ish as some of the others here. Ponyville's going to be fine in the end. :-)
1598786: At this point, would they know that? Trixie seemed to imply they had another day to figure things out.
Besides, I think we need more time in Ponyville to make this more personal for Trixie. This Court thing isn't targeted at her, or her friends, who could maybe be considered legitimate political targets. It's at the whole town. We should see her going around, seeing the devastation, and feeling like it's all on her to make it right.
1598786
?
1598812
Fine, whatever, I quit. Goodbye.
1593179
Please don't remind me that this is partially my fault.
1598812: To be fair,that doesn't show Trixie realizing she has to attend the Gala, or her friends realizing they have to do anything besides mope in their destroyed homes. Now, I don't have a problem with it, but that's probably where IAH is coming from.
(Although I'm wondering how bad Ditzy's apartment is. She was completely absent from FM, mostly because Dinky was the viewpoint character and I couldn't find any way to make her seeing drunken Ditzy funny. That apartment could still have... I dunno, intact windows. :-) ).
1598821
I really hope that this is another one of those "I quit the argument, goodbye" goodbyes, and not a "I'm leaving the group again" goodbyes.
No, seriously. I have literally changed a signficant number of my long-term plans to keep you in (and because they were better, but getting you to stay was still a significant motivation). I have sent you a number of PMs outlining exactly how I planned this fic to go. I've stated the plan - several times - on the message boards that the idea was to get Ponyville in such a state. This was why I had GrassAndClouds2 set "Foalish Misadventures" when it was set, and you have had months of time to rasie problems with the story itself (You have not, you've only pointed out - legitimate - flaws with the Night Court itself).
You already know how the fic ends and you know how I plan to get there. And if you want to talk about a dark and bleak turn to a story, I have but one word you you - Kuchen. Actually most of the entirety of "My Little Alicorn" turned much darker and moodier than I had anticipated going in. I still trusted you to end everything well, and this was without any special insight into your plans or writing process.
So if it's a "I'm leaving the group again" goodbye...well, I'll still be sad to see you go. I still think you're one of the best authors on this site and I still want you as part of the group, and I still value every opinion you're given, and I appreciate especially the Lunaverse reviews that you did. But I'll be done with making special effort to get you to stay.
1598906
The former, not the latter.
And I'm sorry I've wrecked so much of your planning because of my boundless stupidity. I know how the story ends; I just can't say I liked the first chapter, okay?
...One of these days, I should just delete that damn story. It would make my life so much easier.
1598938
The story is great! I love it! But it got very dark. I still trusted you to see us through to a happy ending and you did. Sometimes you have to put your characters through Hell and your readers tend to go through Hell with them if they're in any way invested. Ultimately it makes their successes that much more gratifying when they finally come.
And you didn't wreck the planning - I said the new plans were better, didn't I?
...hoo...okay this got a lot more emotional than I intended. Imma backing away for a few hours that I might DM a D&D campaign. Wish my players luck - they're probably fighting a dragolich today.
1598676
pre-existing laws usually are in place to restrain the actions of those in authority. Like for example the Obama kids. They have Secret Service wherever they go, like it or not.
1598727
So, Equestria is a declining land. Well that both explains the problem and why I have a problem with it. There is no reason to declare any sort of social decline to be inevitable, especially with an immortal leader at the top. Luna knows the mistakes previous generations have made and can pass laws where appropriate against them, and if the Night Court tried to get those changed to benefit themselves based on some argument they've learned better than the ponies in the past Luna can veto it.
1598906: Could I see the outline PM too, please? Since there's been some... acrimony on the boards about the Court and Courtiers recently (which culminated in Emeral asking me to leave the group), I'm kind of worried now if the plot's been substantially changed over that issue.
Like, I really like the group, but I"m worrying that I'm being forced out of it, if that makes sense.
1598975: With no decline, since continual ascent is impossible, that results in stagnation. Which would likely be unacceptable to an artist princess, and bad from a governing perspective as well.
1598991
so because she's an artiste she lets a generation or two of ponies suffer every few centuries.
Yeah, for me that pushes this into dystopia territory
1599033: Perfect government forever is not possible, especially since Luna does not want to be a Dictator. If she tries to make things perfect forever, things eventually fall apart (unless she seizes total control and becomes like her sister), and they fall a lot worse than if she guides the rise and fall of the Court.