12. Objects in Motion, Pt. II
Carrot Top shuffled about on her hooves uncomfortably as she trotted, trying to keep out of sight of Archduke Fisher even as she tried to keep him in her own sights. She ducked down a few times to get out of his line of sight, tried to keep a few ponies between her, moved furtively, and basically did all those things that those crime novels that Trixie liked to read and occasionally loaned to her told her to do to shadow somepony.
“You could be a little more obvious,” a maître d’ said, “but I’m not exactly sure how.”
Carrot Top jumped, though she settled down after she realized that it was only Zizanie – and then immediately, if unconsciously, took up a defensive posture on noticing that it was Zizanie. Before Carrot Top’s eyes, the unicorn just seemed to change, and she was suddenly wearing a dress that looked much more appropriate for the Gala than Carrot Top’s own. “Don’t scare me!” she whispered.
“Nopony is listening to you,” Zizanie responded in a normal speaking voice. “You can talk normally. Nopony’s going to think that a little country mare like you is a scheming noble.” Carrot Top glared at her at that, her cheeks puffing up slightly, but Zizanie only chuckled, holding up a hoof. “Relax, little mare. Most ponies would take that as a compliment.”
“Did you mean it as a compliment?” Carrot Top inquired.
“Not really,” Zizanie observed, as she looked past Carrot Top, back to Archduke Fisher. “Planning on hitting him up?”
Carrot Top remembered what Trixie told her: “Ponies like Zizanie are hired by one noble to get revenge on another as often as anything,” Trixie had said, “so, Carrot Top, shadow Archduke Fisher. Make Zizanie think that you’re going to poison him, but don’t let Fisher see you. And when she asks why, tell her that it’s because I want to get revenge on him for the stuff in the paper. That’ll help her buy everything, and she’ll end up wasting more time trying to poison the archduke.”
The earth pony farmer nodded in response to Zizanie’s question. “Yes, I’m going to, because Trixie wants – ”
“Forget it, too difficult,” Zizanie said. “See that monocle he wears? It detects magic. I don’t know if it would necessarily detect the Truth is a Scourge, but I don’t think we should risk it, right?”
Carrot Top blinked. That wasn’t what Trixie had predicted Zizanie would say. “N-no?” she guessed.
“Not a good noble to try blackmail on, anyway,” Zizanie said. Carrot Top noted that Zizanie did speak a little quieter when talking opening of blackmail, and leaned into Carrot Top as well – apparently her nonchalant attitude stretched only so far. “He’s sort of a scorched earth kind of enemy to have. Trust me. Ah – but there we go!”
Carrot Top followed where Zizanie’s gaze had shifted, and found herself looking at two ponies – a slate-gray earth pony stallion dressed in northern fineries, and his apparent date, a pale yellow pegasus mare with sharp pink hair, wearing a loose and airy ensemble that was common amongst cloud-city pegasi who decided to dress up. “These two are the kind we’re looking for,” Zizanie said, as she guided Carrot Top towards them, her dress once more shifting, without flash or any apparent magic, to be that of a maître d’. “Baron Mounty Max. He’s new to the Court, which means he’s ended up accidentally committing all kinds of blunders that he’s just learning to sweep under the rug. And the other is Duchess Fragrant Posey. She’s not new, but she used to be, you know? She's made some mistakes that she’d love to keep buried forever.”
Carrot Top blinked. “Posey?” She asked.
“Yes. Fluttering Posey’s aunt,” Zizanie said with a smile. “Or is it Fluttershy?”
Carrot Top jumped slightly at that, and she looked to Zizanie with more than a little trepidation. “What do you know about Fluttershy?” she demanded. The timid pegasus, back in Ponyville, didn’t exactly advertise that she was related to one of the most powerful family of ponies in Equestria.
Zizanie’s smile grew. “Oh, I know all sorts of things, Miss Top,” she said, placing a hoof on Carrot Top’s withers, as she leaned in next to Carrot Top’s ear, whispering. “It’s my job. Now, so far three of you Elements have been completely inept at either getting somepony poisoned, or letting me do the job myself. Please try to be better.” She shoved Carrot Top forward – not hard, but enough that Carrot Top found herself standing in front of the Baron and Duchess quite suddenly.
Noble pony stared at commoner for several seconds. Carrot Top’s mind whirled. She’d had an entire act planned out in her head for dealing with Archduke Fisher, how she’d lure him into talking about the Farmer’s Union of Ponyville and somehow that would relate to his industrial work, and they’d get on friendly terms and Carrot Top would spend the rest of the night keeping him safe from Zizanie and the truth poison – but now that was apparently out the window.
Or was it? Had Zizanie tossed her over here to get her away from Fisher? Was she even now poisoning the archduke, while Carrot Top stood here staring stupidly at the duchess and baron and –
“Excuse me?” Baron Mounty said, scuffing one hoof on the floor. “Might we help you, miss?”
Carrot Top snapped back to the here and now. “O-oh!” she said. “Um…no, I’m – oh, I’m sorry, I need to…” Carrot Top stooped down, bowing before the two nobleponies. “I’m sorry, your Lordship, your Grace, I forgot to bow – ”
“It’s alright,” Duchess Fragrant said, wings fluttering a little and using a hoof to indicate that Carrot Top should rise. As Carrot Top did, the duchess continued. “Noblepony and gentry and commoner and everything in between are mingling freely enough tonight that I don’t think it makes much sense for anypony to bow. Everypony but the Princess would spend the entire night on their knees.”
Baron Mounty laughed heartily at that, while Carrot Top just offered a smile. The duchess sounded much like her niece, though with more of an edge to her voice – nothing threatening, she was simply not a pony afraid to speak to others, unlike Fluttershy. “Thank-you, your Grace,” Carrot Top said. “If you’ll excuse – ”
“You look familiar,” Posey interrupted, tapping a hoof to her mouth. “Are you…Carrot Top, by any chance?” At Carrot Top’s nod, Fragrant’s smile grew warmer. “Then you would be my niece Fluttering’s new friend.”
Carrot Top wasn’t certain if she’d ever get used to nobility recognizing her – but as long as Fragrant did, she appreciated that the duchess was focusing her as her niece’s friend, and not as the Element of Generosity. “Yes, your Grace. Though I know her as Fluttershy.”
Fragrant’s expression changed at that, to one that was surprisingly familiar to Carrot Top – her cheeks puffing a little as she frowned. It was basically the same look that Carrot Top herself got whenever she grew annoyed with something, though the duchess wasn’t directing the pout at Carrot Top in particular. “Ooh…” she seethed. “Rainbow Dash gave her that nickname. Fluttering likes it, but I’ve always thought it was belittling…”
“I like it,” Baron Mounty said. He waved a hoof in the air, as though tracking the gentle flight of a butterfly. “Fluttershy…it sounds very sweet and demure. From what you’ve told me of her, it sounds like it fits very well, and as long as she likes…are you alright, duchess?”
Duchess Fragrant had turned to the baron, directing her glare at him. The baron failed to burst into flames, or even understand that he was being glared at. Is that what I look like? Carrot Top wondered. “I think she uses it because she doesn’t want to let everypony know she’s a Posey,” she said aloud. “Not that she’s ashamed! But she wants to lead a quiet, simple life. And she does seem to like the nickname, your Grace.”
The duchess let out a long sigh at that. “As long as she is happy,” she said. “I’m afraid that both my brother and I put a touch too many expectations on her when she was a foal…Thunderous wanted her to inherit the weather factory. I have…had difficulties having foals of my own, meanwhile, and so named Fluttering as my heir apparent.” Fragrant shook her head. “We were both less sensitive to Fluttering’s own needs than we should have been, and we have spent years trying to make things up to her.”
Carrot Top blinked. Suddenly she felt like she had a missing piece to a puzzle at long last. “So that’s why Thunderous was so adamant about Rainbow Dash moving to Ponyville…” she realized. “It wasn’t just to look out for Fluttershy, he wanted to make things up to her.”
Fragrant nodded, though a touch of her scowl returned at the thought, again, of Rainbow Dash (Carrot Top got the sense that the duchess thought of the blue pegasus as a negative influence on her niece), even as a maître d’ approached the trio with a tray of three drinks – Zizanie, Carrot Top could tell from her eyes, even though her coat had changed color. The unicorn-in-disguise glanced between Carrot Top and one of the offered drinks repeatedly – the intention was fairly plain, that the drink she was glancing at was safe, and the other two were poisoned. “Apéritif, Lords and Ladies?” Zizanie asked.
Carrot Top’s eyes widened. She had a second to think about what she was doing, decide that this felt decidedly familiar, and finally reach out and grasp one drink in each hoof – the two poisoned ones. “To Fluttershy!” she declared, downing both wines quickly. They were fairly dry, but Carrot Top didn’t know if that was a property of the wine itself, or the truth poison contained therein.
Baron Mounty, Duchess Fragrant, and Zizanie-in-disguise all stared at Carrot Top with eyes wide as she drank both glasses of wine, as did several other nearby Gala attendees – talking about blackmail almost openly was apparently not worth paying attention to, but a mare trying to get sloshed was.
“I like her,” Baron Mounty declared.
If nothing else, drinking two glasses of wine simultaneously gave Carrot Top time to think up an excuse for why she had. When she finished, she shook her head, setting the empty glasses back onto the serving tray “Um,” she said, blinking a few times and shaking her head. She was going to regret doing that in about ten minutes or so, she just knew it. “Uh, sorry, just…I’m still new to bumping shoulders with nobility, and…and I don’t normally drink like that, I swear!”
“That’s a shame and a relief at the same time,” Mounty said. “Honestly, pony like you, with your obligations to Equestria while trying to still lead a normal life…I do not know how you do it. I certainly could not.” He looked to Fragrant. “Isn’t that right, your Grace?”
Fragrant blinked a few times more. Carrot Top knew what she was probably thinking: this is my Fluttering’s newest friend? She held up her hooves. “I’m sorry, your Grace,” she apologized. “I was just, um…very thirsty, and very worried, Ponyville’s had so many problems recently…and my farm! My farm’s irrigation system had to be torn up and worked on, and…oh, I’m sorry. I’ll go.” Carrot Top bowed before the two nobles. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Baron Mounty, Duchess Fragrant,” she said, before turning and stepping away. A glance over her shoulder saw the baron shrugging and talking to Fragrant, who still looked visibly shocked at the rapid change in character that Carrot Top had just displayed before her. Of Zizanie, however, there was no sign.
Carrot Top grimaced, tapping a hoof to an earring she wore. “Trixie,” she said softly, “there might be a little problem…I’m sorry…”
“Did Zizanie get to Fisher?” Trixie asked over their magical link.
“No,” Carrot Top said. “She said that he’s got a monocle that would let him see the truth poison…so instead she wanted me to help her with Baron Mounty and Duchess Fragrant.”
“That’s less than ideal…”
“It, um…gets worse. See, the only way I could think of to stop them from drinking the poison that Zizanie tried to give them was to, um…drink it myself.”
There was a long pause at that. “That seems familiar,” Trixie said.
“I know.”
“The funny thing is that poison joke’s even an ingredient – ”
“About that,” Carrot Top said. “What are the ingredients? If I leave the Gala and get to the nearest apothecary I might be able to mix up a cure for myself…and either way it might be better if I’m not around at midnight…”
Trixie paused again at that. “Okay,” she said quietly. “Try to come back, though…don’t know what Zizanie might do when everything heads to the sun.”
---
“…But I was so sure that it was one of the other bitter bakers that destroyed the ‘MMMM!’” Pinkie explained as she followed Blueblood. “That way, their delicious dessert would reign supreme. I mean, you should have seen Joe’s Donutopia. It was a spectacular city of donutty delight, topped temptingly in sprinklicious sprinkles. And Gustave's éclairs looked so incredibly edible, with glistening glaziness. But then there was Mulia Mild’s Mousse Moose!” Pinkie licked her lips, Blueblood opened his mouth, but was once again too slow. “Hoh, that mouth-wateringly marvelous mousse moose tempted the taste buds with its silky, smooth, yummy-nummy, chocolateyness! So I had to figure out which criminal devoured the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness while leaving the trio of tasty treats untouched!”
Pinkie was silent for a full second. Blueblood stared in disbelief at that, and finally opened his mouth to speak. Unfortunately, there was only one question he could ask, one thing he could say after listening to her talk non-stop for two hours about…Blueblood couldn’t even remember what about.
“Are you real?”
“Hmm…” Pinkie said, tapping a hoof to her mouth. “Good question! It reminds me of this one time that I painted my room, and it had been orange but then it was pink! I mean, for awhile there I just couldn’t wrap my head around it – how very, very easy it is to change the identity of a thing, simply by changing its color…”
Really, Blueblood thought to himself as he sighed, I deserve this round of nonsense. I brought it on myself. He reached the catering table and was about to have some punch, when he saw the bowl was empty but for one last cup – and before he could say or do anything, Pinkie had it in her hooves, drank it, and threw away the disposable cup before Blueblood could even think of having any, all without breaking stride, or even realizing what she was doing.
Blueblood sighed again. He briefly considered trying to leave her behind – but he doubted he could slip away from her. He considered telling her in exacting terms to shut up already, but there was no doubt that this would cause a scene, and Viscount Prince Blueblood did not make mares cry in public, not intentionally, anyway. It would make him look bad. So, there was really only one thing he could do at this point.
Try and listen to her.
Blueblood strongly suspected that he was not nearly drunk enough for such an endeavor, and set off to rectify that forthwith.
---
Duke Greengrass had gotten to where he was in the Night Court through a combination of skill, guile, and ruthlessness. His special talent was nominally weeding, but the earth pony had learned some time ago how to apply that to more than just the garden. He could see weaknesses in others, and exploit them. It made him no few enemies, but he could always see his enemies’ weaknesses, how to keep them down and out of his way. Those he decided to remove, to see that they would never rise in the Night Court, were not supposed to recover.
Which was why he found himself, on what he’d otherwise hoped would be a fun, basically relaxing night off at the Gala where he did a little sniping and politicking but mostly just enjoyed the ambiance, he instead found himself on the second level of the ice palace, staring down at the first-floor bar and, more specifically, Trixie Lulamoon.
No, she hadn’t left the bar at all for the past three hours, except for a brief visit with Octavia. He did not know what she had done with the musician, but the earth pony was once against playing with her bandmates, and would not take another recess until well after dinner. Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t anything that Greengrass had to worry about.
Why, then was he worried?
The duke trotted along the balcony’s edge, continuing to stare down at Lulamoon. She was just drinking, albeit in measured sips – apparently her proclamation of intending to get drunk was merely bluster. She overall did not look like how she was supposed to. She’d met with Night Light, but that was only for a few minutes, and it seemed more like an apology than anything. Shining Armor, too, had come by, and Lulamoon had walked off with him for a few moments, out of Greengrass’ sight, but she’d returned within moments.
She was patching things up with the Starlight family, it seemed. And that? That made no sense.
Lulamoon was an arrogant, bombastic mare. She was a compulsive liar. She was lazy, a braggart, a showoff. She was impulsive and seemed to have no idea how to think or plan ahead. She was entitled, convinced that she deserved the best simply because she was Lulamoon. Greengrass had learned at least some of the details regarding what had sent Lulamoon running through Canterlot crying yesterday – Night Light had challenged her belief in her own supremacy and essentially forced her to choose between the town she was supposed to represent and her goals and ambitions. She should have been an emotional wreck right now, scurried off to Ponyville to hide under the covers and childishly accuse Night Light of being a monster and construct a little fantasy world where she was perfect and everypony else was out to get her.
But she wasn’t. She was here, flying in the face of all logic and reason and all her weaknesses.
Greengrass grimaced, turning and trotting away from the balcony. He needed to not look at Lulamoon right now – he needed to think. The punch bowl had been refilled by now; he got a drink and stewed as he tried to eliminate what he suspected and focused purely on the information in front of him.
Lulamoon had come to the Gala with Blueblood. Did that mean that Lulamoon and Blueblood had cut some kind of deal? Why? She had no reason to favor him over Greengrass or Fisher. Indeed, Greengrass had anticipated his main rival for control of Lulamoon and the Elements would be Fisher, not Blueblood. Blueblood was showing an awful lot of initiative and acumen, far more than he had in the past. That was a separate matter and one that Greengrass would have to deal with as soon as the Gala was done.
The point was, Lulamoon and Blueblood had split from each other almost Lulamoon upon entering the Gala. Blueblood was now with some pink pony from Ponyville, Trixie was at the bar, and…nothing beyond that.
What was the plan? The point? The purpose? With Lulamoon’s ego being roughly the size of the ice palace that Greengrass was in, surely the only reason she had to come to the Gala tonight was as some kind of petty revenge. But surely she had more in mind than to simply belittle Greengrass outside of the Gala in verse and then go off and get drunk!
What was her plan?
“So…you’re Duke Greengrass, right?”
Greengrass blinked, his reverie interrupted as he looked for the source of the question. He found himself looking at a mint green unicorn mare – Lyra Heartstrings, the Element of Loyalty. Standing with her was a cream earth pony mare with curled, pink-and-navy hair; that must have been her long-time marefriend, Bon Bon.
Given whom he was facing, Greengrass had expected a look of contempt, or anger, or even just annoyance. Instead, Heartstrings looked curious more than anything. This, too, made little sense to Greengrass – wasn’t this the same mare that he had tried to convince, via her mentor Octavia, to move away from Ponyville and her friends to work for him? Hadn’t he arranged matters to try and destroy the career of Octavia later for betraying and failing him? She should be filled with indignation right now – that was how these things normally went.
“It’s just that, I don’t think we’ve ever met face-to-face,” Lyra said, as she sat down on her haunches. “Sure, there was the whole Symphony thing, but I don’t think we’ve actually introduced ourselves.”
Greengrass sighed. He finished his drink, setting the empty cup back on the table before looking at the unicorn. “Miss Heartstrings,” he said, “I am not really in the mood right now to discuss the past. So could we just pretend that you’ve said your piece, implied threats, and move on?”
Lyra blinked, as Greengrass turned and walked back to the balcony, checking to make sure that Lulamoon was still where he had last seen her – and she was. Drinking at a measured pace, passing the time, occasionally glancing around, but doing nothing else.
It was maddening! It was reaching a point where he’d have to go down there and find out himself what was going on, but he’d be flying blind if he did. He wanted more to work off of than vague suppositions. Something. Anything!
“See,” Heartstrings said, trotting up to Greengrass, “it’s actually mostly because you’ve spent most of the last three hours staring at my friend that we’re here; me and Bon Bon would really prefer to be dancing and having fun, but we can’t really just let that slide.”
“Trixie has had a horrible past few days,” Bon Bon continued. “Just…just once, just for tonight, could you leave her alone?”
Greengrass raised an eyebrow at the earth pony mare, looking her over before doing likewise to Lyra. “And what makes you think that I had anything to do with that?” he asked.
Heartstrings’ and Bon Bon’s faces both lost expression. “She told us,” the unicorn deadpanned. “About your meeting with her. About everything to did to keep her running around and not getting aid for Ponyville.”
“Ah,” Greengrass objected, raising a hoof, “I think you will find that I had nothing at all to do with that point. The REMM is run by viceroy Night Light, and I am not part of its decision-making committee, nor any organ attached to it. I had nothing to do with Ponyville being denied aid for as long as it was, and if Miss Lulamoon had reached Night Light sooner, there would have been no change at all.”
“That’s splitting hairs and you know it,” Heartstrings said. “It almost makes it worse. You didn’t have anything to gain.”
“I disagree,” Greengrass objected, stepping past the two ponies, “but that is neither here nor there, Miss Heartstrings. I have things I must attend to. Good night.”
“It’s not going to happen,” Heartstrings called after Greengrass. The duke paused, sighed, and turned around, looking back to the unicorn. Lyra was eyeing him. “We’re not going to ever ‘side’ with you, or any member of the Night Court. Not me, not Trixie, none of us Elements. We just want to live our lives. And if we have to protect Equestria, we will. But we’re never going to be pawns in any of your schemes.”
Greengrass stared a moment, before chuckling, walking back up to Heartstrings and leaning in close. “That’s what they all say, Miss Heartstrings,” he said in a low voice. “But I’ve been playing the Game for some time now. And I have learned that inside each and every one of us there’s a little niggling weed of blackness just waiting to boil up to the surface. For more than a few of us,” he looked past Heartstrings, and down at Lulamoon again, “it’s already sprouted.” He stepped away from the unicorn. “Lulamoon is vainglorious and arrogant. She has had the smallest taste of real power from the Princess before Corona returned, and she let it go to her head as easily as she lets her bourbon do so. She is a joke in the Night Court for her exploits, for her inelegant attempts at political maneuvering. An almost comforting joke, as it shows that the Princess can make mistakes just like the rest of us.
“But now that Lulamoon is the Element of Magic? Oh, she hasn’t done anything yet, but she will. It’s her nature. Her weakness. She can’t help but play the Game – and she won’t help but be inept at it, either. And when she has brought herself and everypony around her to ruin, what then?”
“This isn’t a game,” Bon Bon objected.
Greengrass smiled. “Maybe not. But I intend to win it, anyway. Good night, Miss Bon Bon, Miss Heartstrings.”
Greengrass turned and left, heedless of any attempt on the couple’s part to stop him. He needed to talk face-to-face with Lulamoon, to see her up close, to figure out what she thought she was up to. Was Blueblood giving her direction now, perhaps? The viscount had shown flashes of insight in the past. Yes, that had to be it – Lulamoon was now Blueblood’s pawn, and –
Greengrass stopped when he saw a certain blue-coated alicorn approach him. Luna, despite being dressed like a commoner but for her simple black crown, still managed to convey a sense of royalty and dignity about her as she trotted towards the duke, her wings fluttering to signal that the trail of ponies following her should leave her be for the moment.
Greengrass had already spoken to the Princess at the start of the Gala, of course, as was proper. They had exchanged light pleasantries, but nothing more. Even now, her face held a basically serene look on it as she approached, and he bowed.
“Greengrass,” she said, “I wonder if I might have a word with you in private?”
It wasn’t really a request – Princesses didn’t really make requests, even if their words were phrased as such. The duke bowed again in obeisance, hoping that whatever it was that Luna wanted, it would be quick so that Greengrass could get back to this Lulamoon mystery. “Of course, your Majesty.”
---
Zizanie was not a happy pony.
This did not describe her life in general. In fact, in general she was quite a happy pony. She made ludicrous amounts of money from her various clients for a job that, while by no means easy, did not require her to work long hours, nor strenuously, unless something went wrong. In effect she had most of the year ‘off,’ as it were. But right now? She was not a happy pony at all as she stomped up to Trixie Lulamoon, glaring at her. Trixie seemed to sense Zizanie’s approach and looked behind her, one eyebrow raising at the look on her fellow unicorn’s face.
“Your friends are idiots, Trixie,” Zizanie said as she sat next to Trixie on one side of the bar. The other side was empty. “Idiots or soft, I don’t know. Both. This isn’t working.”
Trixie blinked a few times as she took a measured sip from her bourbon, apparently having abandoned whatever cocktail she had been drinking at the start of the night. She tugged at one ear, head tilting to the side a little. “My friends are what? What are you talking about?” she asked.
---
Luna and Greengrass walked together out the rear doors of the ice palace, into the Courtyard beyond. They put about a hundred feet between themselves and the Gala before Luna stopped her trot, looking upwards at the stars and moon that shone brightly in the sky, though the courtyard was still dark. This was rectified promptly, however, as Luna created a ball of blue light, and suspended it in the air over the two of them.
“Greengrass,” she said at length, before turning around. She looked tired, and disappointed. “I have heard disconcerting things about you as of late.”
The duke blinked, then bowed his head, looking Luna over. “I don’t know what you mean, Majesty,” he said.
“Indeed?” Luna asked.
Greengrass offered a smile. “Excepting if you’re referring to my attempts to gain political sway over the Elements of Harmony, of course,” he said. Luna’s lips pressed tightly together at that. Greengrass bowed. “Forgive me, Majesty,” he said. “I can understand how you might see such a thing as an inherently reprehensible act.”
Luna stared down at Greengrass, as she ruffled her wings, looking him over. “I am having a difficult time understanding how it could be anything other, Greengrass,” she said. “Perhaps you should explain.”
---
Zizanie glared at Trixie. “Okay, first?” she said. “First, that pegasus lumberjack, Raindrops, she scared away Blueblood. So no dice there. Then Night Light showed up and I was all set to use the Truth is a Scourge on him, but that wall-eyed bubble-flanked friend of your knocked it over. So fine, I think to myself. Just her eyes, probably an accident, she can't help herself. Then Cheerilee, she says she’s used the stuff already on Puissance. I don’t know if I believe her, though…because that farmer, Carrot Top? She went and drank the glass I’d poisoned for Mounty and Fragrant!”
Trixie opened her mouth, raising a hoof, before pausing. “They’ve never really done anything like this before,” she said, setting her drink on the bar. “I guess I can see how everypony involved might be squeamish. They’re not part of the Night Court’s infrastructure like you or me.”
“They agreed to this plan, Trixie,” Zizanie said. “So did I, though stars know why. But if they don’t have the guts to follow through then all I’m doing is wasting my time.”
Trixie grimaced. “Look, I never thought this would be easy – ”
“It is easy!” Zizanie exclaimed. “All this stupid plan is, is just dropping a few doses of truth poison into some drinks. How hard is that? I managed to get Fisher and Greengrass!”
---
“…Actually, maybe that isn’t right,” Pinkie said. “If I had stripped the old orange paint, rather than just paint over it, then that old paint might’ve been the blood of the room, and then the metaphor would’ve worked.” Without thinking about it, Pinkie took the glass of punch from Blueblood and drank it down. She wasn’t being malicious in doing so, though, Blueblood realized. She was actually quite friendly. Though that may have been the quarter-bottle of straight vodka talking.
He hadn’t wanted straight vodka, but Pinkie kept drinking his punch that he’d been intending to mix with it.
“The way I see it,” Blueblood said, “the way I see it…since the paint on your hooves was new paint, it’s…it’s more like you’d given Orange Room new blood.”
“New blood?” Pinkie asked.
“New.” Blueblood said. Some distant part of his mind registered that he apparently could not hold his vodka, though he might have been doing better had he eaten more before coming to the Gala.
Pinkie brightened. “Rather than shedding his old blood!” she exclaimed. “So instead of having murdered the room, it was like I had given him too much life, and it had overwhelmed him with its unbearable liveliness!”
Blueblood sympathized.
---
“…And, of course, leaving all that aside,” Greengrass finished, “the fact is that Equestria is currently protected from the Tyrant Sun, your Majesty, by six mares from a town on the edge of our nation with no political standing whatsoever.” Greengrass bowed his head. “I…I am sorry if I come across as aggressive, Majesty. But with the fate of Equestria hanging in the balance, how can I not be?”
Luna still looked disappointed. “You should have more faith in them, Greengrass,” she said. “And in my apprentice.”
Greengrass put on his best sympathetic smile at that. “With respect, Majesty,” he said, “I feel you…you may have erred in taking on Lulamoon. She has done very little other than embarrass herself and, by extension, you. The last ice palace, for example, or that business with Baron Flouting.”
Luna looked to Greengrass. “She means well, Greengrass.”
“As do we all, Majesty,” Greengrass said, bowing. “And I have no doubt that she is still trying her hardest. But I do not believe there is a pony in the entire Night Court who is entirely comfortable with the knowledge that Trixie Lulamoon is the Element of Magic. Indeed we don’t even know what being the Element of Magic actually means for Trixie. It is the ambiguity that frightens us.
“So, yes, Majesty. I will admit that I have been trying to gain political sway over the Elements. But not for my own desires – for the good of Equestria.”
---
“Could you repeat that?” Trixie asked.
Zizanie shook her head. “I got Fisher and Greengrass myself. Point of fact at this point I think you should use that fancy little earring of yours – don’t think I don’t know about it – to tell your friends to back off and just let me work. Then maybe we can get something done in time for midnight.”
Trixie blinked. “You want to poison the Night Court yourself,” she said.
“To be frank I probably have. I spiked the punch – all of it, I think. But can’t be sure unless I see them drink it. So, yes, Trixie, I want to poison the Night Court myself.”
Trixie stared for a long moment – then smiled as she stepped back from the bar and spread her front hooves wide. Her horn glowed bright blue, and then there was a slight blue flash as a cloud of blue smoke appeared from nowhere. The smoke roiled off whatever it was covering immediately, dissipating into nothingness within seconds, the invisibility spell – for that was what it was – dispelled by Trixie.
And Zizanie found herself face-to-face with a white-coated, blue maned stallion who looked suspiciously like Shining Armor, Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard.
---
“If the ambiguity of the Elements’ position worries you, Greengrass,” Luna said, “then you won’t have to worry much longer. I intend to rectify the situation tonight at dinner. As for the rest…I do believe that you are genuinely acting with the best interests of Equestria as your primary goal.”
“My only goal, Princess, I promise you that.”
---
“Maybe that’s what life was all about, in the end,” Pinkie said. Blueblood had drank another shot of the vodka, and Pinkie had tried some, and now she was at last beginning to slow down in what she said – though not much. She was a philosophical drunk, it seemed. “Accepting loss and change and finding a way to work around it and move on.”
“Maybe,” Blueblood concurred. He’d find Pinkie’s tirade very deep and profound if he had thought that he’d remember it come morning. Given the speed at which the vodka was disappearing, that seemed unlikely.
---
“What?” Zizanie exclaimed. She didn’t even try to keep her voice down as she backed away from Shining Armor – right into a pair of Night Guards. Her horn glowed, but Shining Armor reacted just a fraction faster. Her horn was suddenly encased in a pink field of energy, and no magic would penetrate it.
All around, various ponies were looking on in interest.
Trixie rose from her bow – she had actually bowed. “I said I wanted to take down the Night Court, Z,” she said, a wide grin on her face. “But I’m not going to do that by bribing or blackmail. That’s what got it into the state it’s in in the first place.” She pointed a hoof at Zizanie. “You’re not part of the solution. You’re part of the problem.”
“This is entrapment!” Zizanie exclaimed.
“Actually,” Shining Armor put in, as he stood, “it’s a sting. Entrapment is coercing you to do something you wouldn’t otherwise, but we both know that’s not the case.” Shining Armor looked around at the ponies who were staring in. “Move along, folks, nothing to see here…”
Trixie’s grin grew wide indeed. “Pony like you, Zizanie…how many members of the Night Court have you worked for? How much dirt is under your hooves? That’s what I was after. That was my plan.” Trixie held up her two front hooves. “I’m sorry, it was the only way. Except I’m not really all that sorry.”
---
“Nevertheless,” Luna continued, “I want you to stay away from Trixie and the other Elements. I want you to show some trust in my choice of apprentice. Trixie is stronger than you know.”
Greengrass hid a scowl. No she wasn’t. Greengrass had seen a dozen ponies like Trixie. Arrogant, abrasive, vainglorious…the Night Court was full of them, and Trixie had an ego to match any three of them combined. They had no understanding of the stakes of the Game, no appreciation for its nuances. Even Luna seemed content to merely drift through the centuries as nothing more than an observer, a nearly useless, ineffectual leader.
The Night Court is a game, and I intend to win, he thought.
---
Zizanie sneered at Trixie. “You forgot something,” she hissed. “I spiked the punch bowl. I wonder how many ponies here have had a drink tonight?”
Shining Armor’s horn glowed, encasing Zizanie’s entire body in a second pink globe, even as the first one around her horn remained in place. “Your horn is out of commission,” he observed.
Zizanie closed her eyes, grinning wickedly. She took in a deep breath, put a hoof to Shining Armor’s bubble…then simply pushed forward and through it with no apparent effort. Once free, she shook her head, and the globe around her horn was thrown off like it was nothing more than a child’s hoof ball. Her entire body was glowing with jagged, chaotic magic.
Zizanie opened her eyes. Both had become tiger-slitted and red as she looked at a stunned Trixie and Shining Armor. “I don’t need my horn to do magic,” she said. Then she whinneyed, rising up, and stomped on the ground.
There was a burst of magic.
---
“Do I have your word on this, Greengrass?” Luna asked.
Greengrass bowed. “Of course, your Majesty – ”
There was a burst of magic.
“You useless cow.”
.
...
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I find it highly amusing that, though pure chance, this chapter has 6,666 words in it.Not anymore, thanks to editing!I'm childish like that.Significant portions of Pinkie's dialogue comes from Pinkie Watches Paint Dry. Read it.
"THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!"
You sneaky bastard. So nobody in the Night Court was their target, not even Greengrass. Fantastic last line.
So Blueblood should be fine since Pinkie has been keeping him away from the punch. Except that he is standing right next to her as she is about to go off on the truth poison, that could be hazardous to anyone's health.
I wonder who else is about to start spilling their guts.
So, Zizanie WAS the target all along. Too bad for the Six that she is just that much more crafty than they are....looks like we're about to drink a nice tall chocolate milk of glass.
drunk Pinkie is best Pinkie
Blood for the Blood god! Skulls for the skull throne!!!
2229759 Or IS she? By setting off the Truth is a Scourge herself, all the nobles who drank the punch are going to be airing their dirty laundry, and they'll all know it was Zizanie who pulled the trigger, not Trixie or her compatriots.
...Blueblood should marry Pinkie Pie. Their interactions are just beautiful. It would even be an appropriate punishment for everything bad he's ever done, is doing, and ever will do.
Also, Greengrass is done. Congratulations Greengrass, you get to reveal just what a black-hearted little bastard you are right to the Princesses face. Perfect timing.
Oh, YESSSSSS!!!! Cannot wait for the next chapter! So much stuff hitting the fan material!!!
Oh, that is just PERFECT!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
2229719
I doubt Pinkie under the effect of the truth potion is any differnent from regular Pinkie, she seems to be in stream of consiousness mode all the time.
Greengrass might be in trouble.
Well, I gotta say, this was brilliantly pulled off. The truth potion managed to be instrumental in winning without Trixie and co. using it, we get to see Greengrass first stymied by Trixie and Lyra not being sodding jerks like he is, and after all this time, the Duke has been brought low. If only he knew that Luna had a fall out with cows after they kept trying to jump over her after she got piss-ass drunk in the middle of the night and crashed into a pasture. Granted, it was two years after she had banished her sister, but that insistent mooing will haunt her for the rest of her days, and her passive-aggressive rage will turn many cows to serving her sister...
The one criticism is with the new additions to the Fluttershy backstory. It's one thing to try to make up with your daughter by giving her something she loves to do, but if Thunderous really was willing to blackmail somepony to spend the rest of their lives in Ponyville because he wanted to make up for his perceived failings as a parent, then it's even worse. It's not about Fluttershy; it's about his own guilt.
Now if you'll excuse me...GET YOUR GREENGRASS WHACKING STICKS HERE! ONLY FIVE BUCKS A POP, THREE FOR THE KIDDIES!
Well...
At least Trixie won't be responsible for the ice palace melting. This time.
2230128
Scootaloo: I'll take a dozen
2230144
.....The thought of Luna being the one to melt it is hilarious.
PinkieXBlueblood is glorious!
And yeah, looks like the plan worked, but there's going to be a lot of unintended collateral damage now. This'll be fun.
WHy does reading this makes me want to watch Entrapment again?
2230144 I love that idea!
2230175 Pinkie X Blueblood, L!OTP.
2230128
Eh, probably, though I think it was kind of a knee-jerk reaction of his. "Oh God I screwed up I'll have to make it up to here no matter what."
Fizzy keeps saying he'll re-write the story so that Thunderous comes off as less of an ass, and I'm working off that assumption.
This chapter could probably have used a second proofing run as sometime it felt like I was tripping over the errors. Other than that though...
Wow! I just loved this chapter, like everything about it. I especially liked what you did with Carrot Top; it really reminded me just how much fun she can be as a character.
I also rather enjoyed all the references to Pinkie Watches Paint Dry, a great fic that everyone should read. The references to the MMMM incident seemed a little odd though, but I guess that more of the oddities of the eschewed time synchronization between the worlds, not to mention the details of how it worked without the other M6 involved, though probably something better left unexplained.
2230406
Agreed that it's a bit odd, considering MotFE doesn't really work that well without the rest of the Mane 6 and "Baby Cakes" to establish Pinkie learning to be responsible. Plus, why would the cakes be entrusting L!Pinkie pie with the prized and fragile cake? At least in the show she showed a capacity for responsibility, which was kind of what that episode kept hitting on over and over and over again.
My guess? She ate the cake while sleepwalking, failed to find the culprit, and all four chefs were ruined. Donut Joe lost his business and was forced to cater on trains for the rest of his life, Pinkie returned in disgrace, and Gustave and Matilda...made some stunning business deals, formed a partnership, and now own 50% of all pastry and chocolate shops on the planet.
2230452
To be fair, that might have happened in the Maneverse...
I just needed a long Pinkie rant and was running out of the chimmicherrychanga thing. I don't know what happened to the MMMM in this universe. Maybe the Cakes actually went along with this one and they served as Pinkie's voice of reason? I dunno. I refuse to think about it.
(Oh, but we actually know that Donut Joe is doing just fine in the Lunaverse! Or at least he still has his shop. He was mentioned Chapter 5 of this story; Trixie tried to get doughnuts from him, but he'd just finished his breakfast rush so he was out. Which also means he's probably doing quite well).
Greengass is going down. This makes me all giddy inside.
He's a good villain, I'll give you that, but not a likeable one. He's not the Joker or Luthor or anyone you want to see come back to challenge the hero again and again. He's one you want to see, eventually, put down for good. He's competent, so he forces Trixie and friends to bring out their best to match, but he needs to be ended. At least, that's my take on it.
Good villain dynamics is hard - you don't want to let them get away too often, or they make the hero look incompetent.
2230387
Agreed! Blueblood and Pinkie forever! Every comedian needs a straight man!
...
...
Actually, I just said that as a joke, but I can almost see it now. Not in any big way like a story of it own, but like how we saw Big Mac and Cheerilee walking together for a couple seconds in the background of Just For Sidekicks. A small detail here or there like that, just to imply. She is apparently saving him from being horribly poisoned, after all...
2230144
In fact, the ice palace should have been re-frozen with that single line.
One final question for Greengrass: to The Griffon kingdom, or Detrot?
Greengrass, meet Luna-powered lawnmower....
2230406>>2230452>>2230481
Here's my theory: She can break the fourth wall, so she's actually talking about Maneverse events as if they happened to her, but her brains so addled even she's unaware she's talkinng about stuff from another dimension.
As I see it, there's one flaw in the plan to slip Fisher the Scourge: nopony will be able to tell........
Fantastic chapter! Pinkie Blueblood hilarious as always GGs confusion, and I loved Trixie's plan and tying in Shining Armor and the guards was great! Though I feel there might be more to it? Though i'm probably wrong. Great ending with Zizaine, though if Luna senses Discord magic I get the impression said mare won't last long. That ending, that ending with Greengrass I I just can't wait! Best of luck with the next chaprer.
2230128
I'll ten of those right now!
Not as planned or just a unexpected deviation?
Considering that Carrot Top went off to get her self cured I'm more than a bit inclined to believe that Trixie was planing to activate the potion at some point but certainly not now.
2230175
I for one find their interactions hilarious and think that L!Pinky X L!Blueblood would be worth exploring even if only for the comedy. Though we'll have to wait until the next chapter to get a better idea, after all Pinky's been chugging Blueblood's punch like there's no tomor-
Wait...
I just had a thought: what if Pinky's Pinkysense had informed her that something was off with the punch and that's why she kept drinking the cups Blueblood got for himself?
Okay... that was brilliant.
Not much more to say, except I'm still hoping for you-know-who to get his. 
2230919
....huh. That makes some sense.....
Hmm. I really liked most of this chapter. In bulleted form:
The bits with Carrot Top, Posey, and Max were great. Carrot Top is wonderful as a fish out of water. I like how her way to foil Zizanie was to drink All The Wine.Heh. Maybe the curse wasn't fully lifted from her after all. :-) Posey displayed some good character notes, and I like how Max was all, "Wow, that mare can hold her liquor."
Zizanie teasing Carrot Top was cool too.
The Lyra/Bonbon/Greengrass conversation went well. I like how Greengrass was all, "Look, let's just assume you've threatened me and we can move on with our lives," and I think you did a good job showing his contempt for Trixie. (As opposed to Night Light and Fisher, who literally seem to hate her, I like how Greengrass just sort of thinks she sucks).
One thing I wasn't as big a fan of was the idea that the Duke apparently spent the whole party staring at Trixie from a balcony like he's the world's worst stalker -- all he was missing was a bush to hide behind, or maybe a fake moustache. The Duke would certainly wonder what's going on with Lulamoon, but I have to think he would also try to mingle, blend in, etc.
The Greengrass-Luna scenes were also great. I think you nailed both of them really well.
Not quite sure why Zizanie would tell CT they shouldn't Scourge Fisher, then tell Trixie that she did it anyway. I can see her lying to CT if she wants to Scourge Fisher without Trixie knowing for whatever reason (and I can think of a few reasons), but I'm not sure why she'd confess it to Trixie later. Alternately, if she wasn't lying to Carrot Top, it wasn't clear changed that had her decide that it was worth the risk to Scourge Fisher And His Spiffy Monocle (I suppose she could be lying to Trixie, since we didn't actually see him Scourged yet, but I'm not sure what that gets her either).
Welp, Greengrass is screwed. As are whoever else drank the punch (unless Pinkie really did drink all of it). And Fisher too, apparently. Huh. On one hand, I suppose it's possible that, being talented at magic, he could come up with some magical countermeasure (a 'sphere of silence' around his head? Filling his mouth with something so he can't speak?), but on the other, it's always funny to watch big jerks suddenly start ranting about all kinds of terrible things. And since the only ponies he likes in the room are... Carrot Top, Night Light, Luna, and maybe some of the Guards and Shining Armor, I imagine there's plenty of targets for his hate that could make for a very interesting read. (Then again, I suppose it would also be funny to read if Fisher did something like magic up an entire cake to stuff in his mouth so he can't speak -- something effective, but completely humiliating to the super-proud pony. And then months later, he's going around trying to be important, and everyone calls him 'cakeface' behind his back. :-D ).
Really glad you had Zizanie, not Trixie, use the Scourge, and had Trixie apparently not want to use the Scourge herself anyway. I do still have a couple questions (why provide Zizanie with real Scourge at all if she wasn't going to use it, why was Trixie worried about Carrot Top if she didn't plan to use it), but I trust that will be made clear in the next chapter.
Shining is now 0-for-2 in barriers, excluding the one that Corona could have walked through but didn't. First his sister, now some random Discordian. Poor Shining. I think he needs a Cadance hug.
2231612
Well, perhaps Trixie just assumes that Zizanie would be able to tell the difference between a fake and the real TiaS, as Trixie did show Zizanie the real one beforehand. As for why Trixie was worried about CT...Maybe she was actually counting on Zizanie to use TiaS?
2231680
Or maybe Trixie and Carrot Top didn't want CT around on the chance that things went poorly. Or something.
2231726
Hey, I was just throwing out random ideas that come out of a semi-sleepy mind. I have next to no confidence in what I said there, as denoted by the
.
So...referencing Pinkie Watches Paint Dry. I wonder if AA reads the Lunaverse stories. He'd probably be a little irritated. He's always been livid over how popular that little knock-off story of his was compared to his magnum opus. Maybe you should insert a TGWP reference into the next chapter to balance things out.
Also, I just realized that Pinkie might have just saved Blueblood from the poison. That's hilarious given that there's probably no difference between her normally and her under the poison's influence. Blueblood probably won't even notice the difference.
I forgot to mention or explain how much I loved the plan, it works on so many levels, it shows Trixie being involved in something big, capturing a criminal, shows she's not one to be messed with and Ziaine's capture means that they can at least try to get her to spill secrets about a large number of nobles whom are crooked! Love it!
Also a slight question, while Zizaine doesn't need her horn to cast, Twilight was able to stop Discord with some sort of anti magic shield, would Trixie be able to do the same?
....hey....I just noticed something.......
If the ambiguity of the Elements’ position worries you, Greengrass,” Luna said, “then you won’t have to worry much longer. I intend to rectify the situation tonight at dinner."
.....Luna's planning something....Is she gonna make the elements nobles?
2230650
That is the single most perfect fate for Greengrass and needs to happen.
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA oh god GG is doomed.
I am really starting to love Pinkblood as a pairing - poor Bluey, overwhelmed with liveliness. Ahhhh I can't wait for the next chapter - everything is going so INTERESTINGLY. 
2232650: I don't think that's the way to go, esp. as of them, only Trixie has actual training to rule something, and she hasn't shown that she's very good at it yet. I'm also not sure most of them would want to be in charge of a province or city. Besides if we're trying to back off on politics, this would be counterproductive.
2232744
She's probably going to declare them officially off limits or something.
2232863: That's what I'm thinking too.
2232650>>2232863>>2232744
Guess we'll have to wait and see. 
She might make them nobles simply with no land to rule over, but being a noble doesn't mean assured protection. I was under the (probably mistaken impression) that Luna had already declared them off limits or at least as much as she could and that was why the nobles had to use less than direct plans such as the most straightforward bribing option. Though I could be wrong
Maybe she intends to establish them as "hers" because while that is what the nobles sort of fear it may be the only thing to stop them trying, though maybe she will simply give them an official title and position that somehow protects them and makes it seem like she has no power fo them but does have the power to protect them? Or something
2233023: It could be funny if she basically adopts them...
(Trixie: "What do you mean, curfew?")
In all truth, there is a part of me that really feels for Greengrass. Sure, he's a conniving, scheming, dark-hearted little twerp, and yes, basically everything he's even done since he joined the Court is anywhere from ethically ambiguous to morally reprehensible. But consider for a moment that he really, truly believes that what he's doing is for the good of Equestria.
That he, like Trixie, saw the corruption in the Court (for what is political corruption if not a weed in the garden of benevolence?) but being in the thick of it, realized that the problem was systemic, and decided to fight it by using its own flaws against it. In trying to oppose the dark side, he was seduced by it, and saw its potential even as he was blinded- whether by accident or design- to the consequences of toying with it. By the time we've arrived here, he's in so deep into the morass that is the Night Court that he's convinced himself that the only one who can save Equestria is himself.
Greengrass really is something of a tragic figure, when you think about it. Given my soft spot for those, maybe that's why I feel for him.
2230154
Cutie Mark Crusader Noble Whackers! *yay*
Cool. I expected that Zizanie was going to be the fulcrum in this plan, but also removing her a malignant enabling of all the night-court shennanigans and reducing the value of her cache of secrets is pretty smart. Well, she did kind of do the last bit herself.
Say, does she still need a theme tune?
Warren Zevon - Poisonous Look-Alike
Oh, and there was one typo I saw. "the earth pony was once against playing with her bandmates"
Interesting. I knew "poison the Night Court" couldn't possibly be the real plan. I'm not sure how taking out Zizanie fixes very much, although it might serve as a warning to other courtiers that that sort of behaviour will be punished, sooner or later, and going clean from now on is the best way to survive.
Aaaaand I just knew that Pinkie Pie would get the brunt of the truth poison. This won't be good for anypony.
2233039 Those six could really use some adult supervision sometimes. And just as Celestia is basically the only adult in Equestria on the show, Luna is really the only adult in the Lunaverse.
I like the idea of making them nobles - it's a bit like the whole Princess Twilight thing, but with less physical transformation and more spread out between the six of them - but what would they do? They all have their own careers already.
The thing I really notice about Greengrass here is that his special talent becomes very obvious. He is very good at finding weaknesses, and most of what he said about Trixie is true. But he's lousy at finding strengths. Trixie has some gleaming stones of virtue under her detritus of vanity and selfishness, and Greengrass has literally no idea.
2233391>>2232744>>2232650
There is a step between commoner and landed nobility, namely the gentry, who are basically nobles without the inherited title (lords/ladies and knights/dames), and their position so far seems to so far be outside the sphere of the Night Court proper (namely, the mayors)...but really, what Luna was saying there was that the ambiguity of their situation was going to end.
We'll see how that plays out.
2233391
That's what I was going for.