A Colgate Horror Story

by Trixiethefool

Part 5- The Conclusion

Most of Ponyville flooded the house calling for Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. Rarity came into the hall Sweetie Belle stood in over Colgate’s dead body. “Oh! I was so worried!” Said a relieved Rarity. The two sisters hugged until they heard crying coming from nearby. The walked together to the noise.
“No… Apple Bloom…” Said woeful Applejack holding her sister. Blood ran down a cut in her back.
“Cough Cough” Apple Bloom muttered “You have been the best sister. Ever…”
“No! You can’t die!” Applejack said, too late, tears streaming down her face.
“Its okay…she has moved on to a better place” said Rarity trying to console Applejack.
“I guess you are right…” admitted Applejack, trying to wipe her tears
So everything went back to normal, except for the fact that Colgate’s house was demolished, and Apple Bloom’s grave is in her school’s playground, under her favorite tree.

Comments

[Shirley Not Serious]

I haven't read the complete story yet, but if you wish to check over your story, I'd advise the download of 'Ginger'. It's a free spelling and grammar check software that is very subtle. It's also very good

[TheDerp910]

It was alright, good of been better if you hadn't given Sweetie Belle a sword for a weapon. Maybe something more practical, like a knife or something. All in all, pretty good. It could be longer but its your first one.

[Trixiethefool]

1620325 thqnks for thé comment, in working on à new one, my redition of thé trotting it dead, chapter 1 id about 1000 words, in mqking long now

[rabidwolf96]

If you write more try slowing down and taking your time